Pre-cruise Discussion Topics for Teens

[idocdlw]

Now that the "teen buying drugs" issue has been raised, now may be the appropriate time to pose my question.

 

I do believe that teens make dumb choices because they aren't always thinking ahead of what the potential consequences of those choices may be.

 

I will be traveling with two 17 year-old boys (only one is my son) and am preparing my pre-cruise discussion. I plan to put everything (my rules plus general "don't do stupid stuff" advise with very specific examples) in writing and have them both sign a document acknowledging they have been advised. Eliminates the "I didn't know I wasn't supposed to do that" factor. This may seem over the top to some parents, but if it prevents a tragedy (how may teens sit on the ship's rails?...I've seen this many times and it scares me to death!), it's worth it.

 

Does anyone have a prepared list that they are currently using and would like to share?

[shannonpb2]

I am taking 2 - 16 yo and a 12 yo on the Elation 3/31. I think the "laying it all out beore we leave" is a great idea. I would love to see your list. Since we are all first time cruisers you might be able to give me some heads up of what to warn the kids about. I have learned to never, ever say "my kid wouldnt do that". They are teenagers and sometimes forget the man above gave them a brain because he expected them to actually use it!

[idocdlw]

Well, I don’t think I’ll list out all my expectations (dinner as a family, curfew, have fun, etc) as those are too variable from family to family. As to shore excursions, we’ll be doing everything together and the same “stay where I can see you and you can see me” rule that we’ve followed since my son was 2 will be in place (restroom trips allowed). Here’s my “stupid stuff” list. These are the biggies and I’m hesitant to make the list any longer…don’t want to be a complete downer.

1. Buy/use drugs
   
2. Buy/use alcohol
   
3. Leave a drink (non-alcoholic of course) unattended in a club
   
4. Enter someone else’s room
   
5. Allow someone else to enter your room
   
6. Sit on ship rails
   
7. Follow ship’s crew or any stranger into a non-public area
   

Do you have different items on your list?

[caribbean dreams]

Buy/use drugs

1. Buy/use alcohol
   
2. Leave a drink (non-alcoholic of course) unattended in a club
   
3. Enter someone else’s room
   
4. Allow someone else to enter your room
   
5. Sit on ship rails
   
6. Follow ship’s crew or any stranger into a non-public

I also do not let my teens wander around port by themselves, they stay with me at all times.

[walkswife]

Mine are never to wander around alone....

no one in your room or going in anyones room...

use common sense for safety....

don't leave your drink unattended that's why I buy you a soda card...

check in with me every two hours ....

curfew is midnight....

you have to eat dinner with me unless we have discussed it previously...

your sign & sail card, your money....

don't go ashore without an adult...

if you get caught doing something wrong you will be stuck with me the rest of that day and the next (this usually deters alot of problems:rolleyes: )..

[johnaricka]

I did a graduation present cruise for my then 18 year old and one of her friends. We had a great time. Alcohol wasnt a problem and neither were drugs but her friend bought fireworks without us knowing. She was stopped getting back on board and given a harsh lecture. She was honest about the fireworkds. she wasnt trying to sneak them on. We were pretty embarrassed both for her and as chaparones. We hadnt thought about the firework discussion.

[we2cruze]

In addition, my teens are not allowed to travel the ship alone. They have to either be with my husband, me, or together.

[Darcy03231]

Don't give out any personal information, ie age, dob, cabin number, email address, home address, telephone number, cell phone number, etc. w/out checking with me first, no matter who it is that asks.

[w8ing2cruz]

This is a great list - please keep them coming as I plan to type up a list and review it with my son and his friend (and friend's mother) before we go.

[StuartLittle]

No sex without a condom. :eek: :D

[VentureMan_2000]

I made it easy on myself... the kids are staying home...:D

[buddyjo143]

In addition, my teens are not allowed to travel the ship alone. They have to either be with my husband, me, or together.

 

Wow! How old are your teens? My niece was 13 and one of 9 folks on our family Christmas cruise. Her parents let her meet friends and walk around on the ship. They also had check in times for her and we always knew where she was heading or supposed to be (well except for that one time:() and there were 2 aunties and an uncle looking out for her.

 

The one miscommunication was when her dad said he would meet her at 11 and she thought she had to be in by 11. She was in before 11 but was staying in the other auntie's cabin and her dad didn't know this. He panicked when he couldn't find her.

[Guienevere_Arianette]

I made it easy on myself... the kids are staying home...:D

 

now that's my kind of solution :D

[we2cruze]

My teens are all girls and actually are now 13, 18, and 20. And yes, they still have this rule. They have no reason to be out walking around solo, since they have each other and hang around with each other. It's not a matter of anything I think they would do, it's a matter of knowing they are safe. There is always safety in numbers. And for those of you who are dying to ask, my 20 & 18 year olds follows the rules just like their sisters and they are college students. But they know how to behave and have fun with their sister, and enjoy cruising as a family.

[Wennfred]

Bring a Closeup, 5x7 Color Photo of your kids incase you need to use it.

 

Fred

[w8ing2cruz]

Awhile back there was a pretty definative list that I really liked on this board. I've searched and searched and cannot find it. Anyone have any clues or remember this?

[idocdlw]

Don't give out any personal information, ie age, dob, cabin number, email address, home address, telephone number, cell phone number, etc. w/out checking with me first, no matter who it is that asks.

 

 

Excellent...adding this one to my list! Thanks.

[caribbean dreams]

Don't give out any personal information, ie age, dob, cabin number, email address, home address, telephone number, cell phone number, etc. w/out checking with me first, no matter who it is that asks.

 

On our last cruise, my daughter shows up with this piece of paper that would given to her and the other kids by the teen club staff, it had boxed spaces so you could put your home address and e-mail address to share with the other kids on the ship.

I only let her give out her e-mail address, i check her mail regularly anyway to make sure she is not getting mail for perverts anyways.

[LiLBxQt]

Teenage boys on the lookout for teenage girls.... no doubt that they will take a trip to a gurls room or take gurls back to theirs.... actually, if they dont disobey this rule; its most likely because they found some "secret" place on the ship to be "intimate" They know no1 is going to keep an eye on them 24/7.. You can make as many rules as you please, but remember... they are slick, they will always find some kind of loophole!

 

I hope you're not thinking of letting them go away and dorm at college :rolleyes: All hell will break loose once they are "released into society" The more you shelter them, the more they are going to rebel!!!

[cantwait2cruize]

No sex without a condom. :eek: :D

 

I was going to add the same to the list. Don't want a STD as a .souvenir:eek:

[idocdlw]

Teenage boys on the lookout for teenage girls.... no doubt that they will take a trip to a gurls room or take gurls back to theirs.... actually, if they dont disobey this rule; its most likely because they found some "secret" place on the ship to be "intimate" They know no1 is going to keep an eye on them 24/7.. You can make as many rules as you please, but remember... they are slick, they will always find some kind of loophole!

 

I hope you're not thinking of letting them go away and dorm at college :rolleyes: All hell will break loose once they are "released into society" The more you shelter them, the more they are going to rebel!!!

 

 

I'm chuckling to myself as I read this...you just don't know the boys I'm bringing with me. Bless their hearts and I say this with a lot of love...they are both classic poster boys for nerds, thought the other sex was "yucky" until about a year ago, and are socially immature enough that the thought of accidentally bumping into a girl (let alone touching, groping, kissing, etc.) would be terrifying for both of them! :) I know that can change real quickly, but both of these boys have been raised to treat women of all ages with respect, so when they do outgrow the "fear factor" I predict that they'll make their mamas proud.

[surfklutz]

As a former Maritime attorney, I can tell you that there is a huge problem with young teenage girls hooking up with crew members. They know EXACTLY what innocent sweet girls want to hear. To your teenagers they are sweet, romantic and alluring. And remember - there are probably not any crew members who can not gain access to your cabin.

 

I never let my daughter go back to the room by herself. If you aren't aware of the problems that can take place, you might think that is a very safe place for your kids - but that isn't the case.

 

Also - make sure that you bring a notarized letter from the other boy's parents (both) stating that you have permission to take him, and you have permission to make medical and legal choices for them.

[we2cruze]

My girls are doing quite well dorming at college. Actually there is a big difference between sheltering/protecting them and smothering them to the point that they don't experience life.

[LHP]

This is one of those times I am soooo glad I have 2 boys.

 

The oldest is 18 and has been cruising with us since he was 8. 14 cruises later, he said that cruising actually prepared him well for college.

 

He said a cabin and a dorm room are about the same size. Someone cooks you 3 meals a day. His only disappointment was that there is class instead of cruise activities. (Although, he said some of his classes are just as much fun~~ but then Calculus 3 to him is fun???) They did build a remote control submarine for one of his Engineering classes...so the cruise theme continues!

 

The bottom line is that we raised him well. He behaves on a cruise just like he does at home (or anywhere else). He used the same common sense on the ship that he uses at home.

 

The only rules I ever gave him pertaining to the cruise was that the cabin hallways were "quiet zones" after 10PM.

 

We have never had a problem.

[surfklutz]

My girls are doing quite well dorming at college. Actually there is a big difference between sheltering/protecting them and smothering them to the point that they don't experience life.

 

My girls also did well at the dorms in college, and you can find anything you are looking for ANYWHERE you go. But the slimy underbelly of the crew world on mass market ships is just plain scary to me. Totally different values and moral codes for crew on cruise ships - I don't know if it is cultural or environmental.