ADVICE NEEDED - Teenagers on their own in Nassau

[Sunbum1]

Brand new to forum, looking for advice. I personally have never been on cruise. My 15 year old son is leaving friday 4/13 with high school band trip. Soverign of the Seas, stopping in Nassau and Coca Cay. I found out that they will only be required to check in with chapperone's only every 2-3 hours that the kids will be on their own. Am I nuts or is this crazy? Any safety concerns? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thank you.

[toriwc]

I am not a parent to teenagers, but this would greatly concern me. I might be outside the norm on this one, but it would make me very nervous. I know what *some* (not ALL) kids are capable of, and if I were in this situation, my child would not be going (not to mention what others are capable of). I am sure it is too late to do anything about this now, but I think you need to stress to DS the importance of following rules, always staying with the group, etc. I'm assuming your son is a good kid, and just needs to be reminded of outside dangers, but it won't hurt to remind him of his P's and Q's :) Is this check in policy the case when they are in port or just when they are on the ship? I would feel a *little* better about when onboard, but wouldn't want him to get a false sense of security. In port (mainly Nassau), I think it would be just a bad idea all the way around. I hope he has a safe and wonderful trip!

[goodml]

For me personally, I would be very concerned. I wouldn't take my teens to a foreign city and turn them loose in the downtown area and tell them to check in a few hours later. Some will argue with me but Nassau has just always seemed a bit seedy to me (JMHO here) although my rules would be the same for any place. Have the organizers of this trip not read anything about teens travelling to foreign countries in recent years?

 

For kids that age do they not have a certain amount of adult supervisors that are assigned to each group of kids? We just had our meeting for my son's school band's trip to NYC in May and there were very clear rules about the groups, the chaperones and the expectations from both. This has been normal procedure for all of their trips.

 

I would not be impressed and my kid would not be going unless I got some clear assurance from the adults travelling with him that this would not be allowed.

[goodml]

I just actually reread your post and realized that they won't be supervised on board either! Sorry, that's ridiculous all the way around, for the kids, for the other passengers and for the crew that will have to deal with them. A cruise ship is like a small town. I'm sure you wouldn't let your kids run freely in your home town without supervision. I think the organizers are out to lunch and if it was my kid he would absolutely not be going (lost money or not) or I'd be going with him. I think you're absolutely correct to be concerned.

[Guienevere_Arianette]

I'm not a mother, and I'm 26, so I don't know if you care about my opinion, but I have to say that I find this a bit worriesome.

 

Crime can happen to your child anywhere, either in Nassau thousands of miles away from you or in your own backyard. So I'm not bashing a port because of percieved lack of safety.

 

I'm not a sheltered, goody two shoe who did no wrong when I was a teen; I put myself in some situations that had the potential to be life-threatening, and now that I'm grown I think to myself what an idiot I was. But that's the beauty of hindsight, and also the downfall; it's after the fact. When a teen is being a teen, they get excited and impulsive, maybe doing things they wouldn't normally do; there is something to be said of the sense of freedom being miles away from mom!

 

But even if your teen is a Dudley Do Right at all times, that doesn't mean he/she won't inadverdently put him/herself in a situation that is harmful/dangerous, simply due to teens lacking foresight and throwing caution to the wind.

 

I would feel more comfortable knowing that my teen was on some type of adult supervised excursion; shopping, beach day, whatever, but there should be proper adult/child ratio.

 

That's my .02:)

[emdia43]

AS Chaperones they are supposed to be acting in place of the parent.

Would you let your 15 yr disembark in a foreign port,wander around at will and report back 2-3 hrs later? If you would I'd be surprised,and I don't even know you.

At 15 they are just not equipped to handle the 'what if's'.

[TEXASMUNK]

is a recipe for trouble. Especially Nassau!

[NJBill]

I have been to Nassau three times. I am also the parent of a teenager.

The town is no different than many others. When you get off of the ship there is a shopping area and a free beach. Is he planningon taking a taxi to another part of the island,or staying near the ship? There has always been a visible Police presence in the shopping district on all my visits. I will say that if a person is looking for something out od the ordinary "drugs or alcohol", it could be somewhat more accessible, but no more than if he was going to the mall and wanted the same thing. I would vote NO to let him off the ship without adult supervision.

[gkrebs]

In plain English, "not just a no, but a hell no". Can you say Aruba? Sounds like the Chaperones are just looking for the vacation. Might sound nasty, but this would boil my blood if this were happening on a band trip. My daughter went on one and this was not allowed at all. And these were High School kids and the 18 yr olds weren't allowed to do this

[mdmourges]

I will tell you that when I was teenager (I am now 50), I was fortunate enough to have parents that allowed me a lot of freedom. Leave the house at 9 in the morning and come back for dinner. And I started doing that when I was about 8. And I didn't live in some small little country town. I think that was the norm back then for kids to have freedom. I am personally of the belief that just as much crime against children occured back then as it does now, it is just that we hear about every crime now because of the internet and cable. If a child is kidnapped in Washington State, we hear about it in Maryland in 10 minutes. Now all children are ferried around by their parents (I have 2 children now in their early 20) to all events. They never get a chance to explore on their own. I think that is a shame. I enjoyed my freedom and I think it helped me grow up. Having said that, I did let my daughter and a friend of hers, they were 15 at the time, go on a RC excursion without me while we were in Nassau, and they did roam around town for a bit. I am not suggesting others do what they are uncomforatble with but I think at some point, children need to get out on their own. Each child needs to be evaluated on their maturity level, etc. Just my opinion, flame me if you want.

 

Mark

[cindyscruise]

What I don't understand is what about the rule for under 18 not being in a cabin by themselves. How many adults are going? Is this a school sanctioned trip? I would not let my child go alone in Nassau. In fact, I question the supervision he will have on the ship. How do you check in every 2-3 hours when you are in port? Mark is right that years ago children actually did have more freedom but times have changed. There is more to tempt children today. Since it is less than a week till his cruise just remind him of consequences and tell him you love him and trust him.

[Sue L]

Are the kids doing an excursion in Nassau as a group or in small groups? If not I would suggest they do and make it a ships tour. At least you know they would be with adults (other cruisers on the tour) and not just wandering around on their own.

 

Actually how are they doing this at all, I thought with the age policy on RCCL that there had to be someone 21 or older in each cabin unless the parents were on board also? How many chaperons are going? I don't know if they make allowances for large groups like this but frankly I wouldn't want to be in the room next door or across the hall from a group of unsupervised teenagers.

[goodml]

I will tell you that when I was teenager (I am now 50), I was fortunate enough to have parents that allowed me a lot of freedom. Leave the house at 9 in the morning and come back for dinner. And I started doing that when I was about 8. And I didn't live in some small little country town. I think that was the norm back then for kids to have freedom. I am personally of the belief that just as much crime against children occured back then as it does now, it is just that we hear about every crime now because of the internet and cable. If a child is kidnapped in Washington State, we hear about it in Maryland in 10 minutes. Now all children are ferried around by their parents (I have 2 children now in their early 20) to all events. They never get a chance to explore on their own. I think that is a shame. I enjoyed my freedom and I think it helped me grow up. Having said that, I did let my daughter and a friend of hers, they were 15 at the time, go on a RC excursion without me while we were in Nassau, and they did roam around town for a bit. I am not suggesting others do what they are uncomforatble with but I think at some point, children need to get out on their own. Each child needs to be evaluated on their maturity level, etc. Just my opinion, flame me if you want.

 

Mark

 

I also had the same sort of lifestyle growing up but I totally disagree that we live in the same world now. Check your population stats from 40 years ago compared to now. Check the # of vehicles on the road now as compared to then. Look at the lifestyle differences from then til now. The world is on a whole a far less conservative place now than it was then and there are many many more of us living here. Is anyone still watching Leave it to Beaver? Of course not, no one would be interested. Our kids are exposed to far more at a far younger age than we ever were and that's just the way it is. The city I grew up in is no where near the city it was 40 years ago and I wouldn't let my kid wander like we used to there either. I'm not flaming you, I just disagree.

 

Society has changed. I totally agree that kids need to get out on their own but I know a LOT of 15 year olds right now, "a" students to "d" students and I wouldn't turn any of them loose for 4 days with minimal supervision anywhere.

[threeofus]

I let my 15 year old daughter go to Europe for 16 days on a school related trip. They were well supervised and were with 2 teachers and a tour guide most of the time doing tours etc.

 

BUT - on several days they were able to shop, eat, and tour on their own for 2-4 hours as long as they had 4 to a group.

Now I must admit my daughter is very responsible and and her friends are as well and they all stayed together and voted on where to have lunch etc.

 

I didn't know this until she came back and told me...If I had I would have worried a lot more.

 

But it all worked out and it was a great experience for her.

[suezyq50]

When we were on the Sov. in Dec., my 18yo nephew and 18 yo friend tried to get off the ship without my sister. The cruise line contacted my sister and asked if the boys had her permission. To me, that states the cruise line concerns.

[Happy ks]

If it were me, I'd not only talk to my child about it before they head off, I'd have a talk with the chaperones as well. There's nothing like being honest and upfront about these issues before they become issues.

 

I don't have kids in the school band, but my kids are involved in the Drama and Video departments at high school. While I certainly don't have my head stuck in the sand, I've quietly observed my kids with their friends and they are a great bunch of kids. A close friend of mine has a son in the school band and she feels the same way. Our kids aren't hanging out loooking for something to do, they are active with their group doing school activities.

 

I do realize kids will do things away from watchful eyes, but I also feel that you have to put some trust into them at some point in their lives. Talk with them ahead of time and let them know of your concern and tell them to stay in groups, not wander away by themselves or with only one other person. Have them take along a cell phone, turned on when they are on shore. Ask the chaperones to accompany your child, I'll bet if they signed up for this trip it's a good bet they love teens.

 

Why is it that people automatically assume a group of teens = trouble?

 

I hope your teen has a great time!

[reallyitsmema]

I will tell you that when I was teenager (I am now 50), I was fortunate enough to have parents that allowed me a lot of freedom. Leave the house at 9 in the morning and come back for dinner. And I started doing that when I was about 8. And I didn't live in some small little country town. I think that was the norm back then for kids to have freedom. I am personally of the belief that just as much crime against children occured back then as it does now, it is just that we hear about every crime now because of the internet and cable. If a child is kidnapped in Washington State, we hear about it in Maryland in 10 minutes. Now all children are ferried around by their parents (I have 2 children now in their early 20) to all events. They never get a chance to explore on their own. I think that is a shame. I enjoyed my freedom and I think it helped me grow up. Having said that, I did let my daughter and a friend of hers, they were 15 at the time, go on a RC excursion without me while we were in Nassau, and they did roam around town for a bit. I am not suggesting others do what they are uncomforatble with but I think at some point, children need to get out on their own. Each child needs to be evaluated on their maturity level, etc. Just my opinion, flame me if you want.

 

Mark

I also disagree with what you have said. I am a bit younger than you but I had the same freedom growing up that you did. The world is just a very different place than we grew up in, some things to the better and many to the worse. I am the mother of a 16 yr old and though he is allowed to explore, he also has to check in on a regular basis. I would not feel comfortable with him just being let free in Nassua, I was scared in the straw market there. To the OP, I would check with the school and see what they actual plans are. I know when my son went on a school trip, he came home saying how they were going to be able to just do what the wanted. When the final schedule came home, things were very different. Yes, they had lots of time to do what they wanted but things were much more structured than the kids thought it was going to be.

[reallyitsmema]

Why is it that people automatically assume a group of teens = trouble?

I am not thinking that the kids will cause trouble, I would just be concerned about my child going somewhere totally foreign to him and ending up in the wrong part of town. These kids have to be good kids to even be allowed to travel. I know when my son's class took a trip a few years ago, a few kids were not allowed to go because they couldn't be trusted. I would be concerned as the OP is but still time to find out info from the school.

[takeavacation]

Being the mother of 2 high school age daughters that do go on school trips -- I would assume (and this is just from our personal experiences) that on the ship - the kids will be required to check-in every couple of hours (which is what we do with our own kids when cruising) and that they will go with their chaperones when they leave the ship in ports. Usually student groups travel with 1 adult per 4 kids -- and the adult is responsible for whatever the group does. I'm guessing that is what is going to be happening here also.

 

If the OP comes back on -- please clarify -- will the kids be free to roam the ports -- or will they go in small groups with their chaperone? If their free time (2-3 hours between check-ins) is onboard the ship -- I would say that is perfectly safe. Just remind your child of the rules about not entering other cabins, behaving in a mature manner, etc. and things will be great!

[Sunbum1]

Thank you to everyone who has replied already. I had no idea I would get so many responses so quickly. As I said I am new to this forum and appreciate everyone's advice. I have had numerous discussions with my son regarding staying in groups, safety and being aware of his surroundings. He is planning on doing a excursion with a group, but not jumping in a taxi to go off the beaten path. I do trust that he will make the right decisions and he is a good kid, I know the other kids that he will be with as well. That being said I realize bad things happen to good kids.

 

This is his 4th band trip with alot of the same kids. It is common for the middle schools to do band trips as well and they have been all over the country. Of couse none has taken him out of the country with little supervison. I will contact the Director and talk to the chapperones as well about the safety concerns in Nassau.

 

Thank you

[goodml]

Why is it that people automatically assume a group of teens = trouble?

 

I hope your teen has a great time!

 

I'm not at all assuming that teens=trouble. I'm surrounding by wonderful (but imperfect:D ) teens all the time. They're responsible, cheerful, lovely, people but common sense isn't always their strong suit and part of that is just because they're so young. In a foreign city I'd be far more concerned about something happening to them than I am about them getting into something they shouldn't. I have let my children go on organized excursions from the cruise ship but they were with the kids clubs and there was never any time when they were wandering on their own. I was comfortable with that.

[Happy ks]

I just actually reread your post and realized that they won't be supervised on board either! Sorry, that's ridiculous all the way around, for the kids, for the other passengers and for the crew that will have to deal with them. A cruise ship is like a small town. I'm sure you wouldn't let your kids run freely in your home town without supervision. I think the organizers are out to lunch and if it was my kid he would absolutely not be going (lost money or not) or I'd be going with him. I think you're absolutely correct to be concerned.

 

 

This is the reason for my teens = trouble post. Perhaps not on this thread, but many times you read how people just trash groups of teens together. There are some kids who can get out of line (usually pre-teens), play with elevators, run through hallways. But, most of the time I see that teens are trying to impress each other with their maturity in a group. The fact they are in a group really bothers some older people :rolleyes:

 

BTW, teens would consider me an older person.

[mdmourges]

Well, I looked it up. Here are statistic in the US. First off, most abductions are committed by someone they know. The number of attempted abductions, by someone a child does not know, is about 12,000 per year. Of the 12,000, about 3,500 get abducted. Of that number, about 300 are kept for a period of time (a kidnapping). The rest are released within 24 hours and close to home. Yes, bad things happen to almost all of those abducted. There are about 75 million kids who are under the age of 18 in the US. That means the percentage of children abducted, by someone they don't know, is less than .005% (1.000% would be 1 percent). Again, I am not suggesting anybody do what they don't feel comfortable with, I am just saying I believe we are more sensitive to this issue, and rightfully so, because it is so well publicized. Your child is far more likely to be injured due to a drinking and driving related issue as opposed to an abduction.

 

Mark

[raz5]

We just came back from Nassau last week. I would not let my teen go there alone. We witnessed a drug deal going down right in front of us, very close to the port.

[goodml]

This is the reason for my teens = trouble post. Perhaps not on this thread, but many times you read how people just trash groups of teens together. There are some kids who can get out of line (usually pre-teens), play with elevators, run through hallways. But, most of the time I see that teens are trying to impress each other with their maturity in a group. The fact they are in a group really bothers some older people :rolleyes:

 

BTW, teens would consider me an older person.

 

Actually you and I agree on this. I've also read on this forum how people react to groups of kids on cruise ships. Now if these kids are supervised, with organized activities etc and of course some free time on the ship I've got no problem with that. What I was concerned about with that post was that from the OP's post it appears that there will be very little supervision even on board and four days is a long time for very little supervision even when they are good kids. My parents always used to say, "even a good kid can fall off the pedestal when the temptation is great." We know from reading how people can overreact to groups of kids on ships.

 

As the parent of a 14 year old and a 16 year old, the whole thing sounded a bit loose for my liking. I suppose it depends on numbers - how many adults are actually supervising these kids and how many kids are there? Either way I won't be on board but the op was asking for advice. If my young teens were far away (and they are away often) with very little supervision and few organized activities to keep them busy, I'd be concerned.