Night curfew time for teens?

[fllady61]

My DD just knows that if she is not in by 2 am, Mom and Dad go looking for her.... Usually find her getting pizza at that time.

 

Cruisemom, don't worry, it is a lot in their training and up brining as well. If kids are allowed to run amuck at home and parents not care, then they will do that on the cruise as well. DD is trained not to run amuck. She does not even like leaving our side unless we are in the casino.

 

But she may change on this cruise next cruise. She likes the deck parties, and karokee, but Glory does not have karokee she can go to...

[rdrseller]

If I currently trust my daughter and she has not given me reason not to, then why would I treat her any other way on a Cruise Ship. She is a good girl and so far has not let me down.

 

I believe it is the parents that have no true level of trust with their children that have the problems. My daughter enjoys her level of freedom based on what we have gone through so far. If things change, I will bring in the rope. So far, she has made me proud and chosen those activities that would not cause her or anyone else harm.

 

You have to know your children and their friends.

[bjkeen]

Yes, I have always set times for the kids to check in with me and a curfew. I want them to have fun and to be safe. I like to hear where they are and that they are having fun. Another thing that helps is to carry walkie talkies with you. Anyone aboard the ship with a walkie talkie can possibly hear your conversation. We used call names.

 

Most of my cruise experiences have been excellent. On one cruise two of my teens were missing at 1:00 a.m. They did not check in at the appointed time. My dh and I were beside ourselves. We walked the entire length of the ship three times. Security was going to join us if we did not locate them soon. There are no police aboard the cruise ships. At 1:00 a.m. everything is closed so there is no reason for kids to be out running around the ship. I decided to make one last trip to the cabin and see if the kids had come in. Luckily, they had.

 

Many people think, "I am on vacation, where could my kids go we are at sea?" Keep in mind that there are approx. 2,000-3,000 passengers and approx. 1,000 crew members aboard the cruise ships. Chances are you do not know most of the passengers, and probably very few crew members.

 

It's better to be safe than sorry.

[caribbean dreams]

.

 

I believe it is the parents that have no true level of trust with their children that have the problems.

 

It's not my kids i don't trust, it's others on the ship, on vacation your guard level is down and things that may not happen at home could happen on the ship.

 

At 3am when kids are throwing lounge chairs, glass plates and other items off the side of the ship, is your daughter watching or helping?

Should she even be in the situation where she is with these other kids?

These are new found friends that are riding the elevators up & down all night, Kids will do things they don't normally do, just to fit in.

Kids Have no business roaming the ship all night.

At least i know mine are in bed.

 

I'm not talking, make them come in at 10pm but letting them do what they want all night is a bad thing.

[gtouch]

My God do you not get it. It isn't how good or trustful your child is, it is how good or trustful all the other passengers are. Just because you don't want the responseability for you children don't attack those that love and make the hard decisions to protect theirs. It is very easy to say go out and do whatever you want and be back whenever you want and have your child say "What a cool parent I have". It is more difficult to be the one to set limits for their children. Yes trust you child but how do you trust all the others on the cruise ship. There can be almost 4500 people from different countries and different backgrounds on the ship at any time. And guess what the cruise line does not do a background check on the passengers they just make sure the money is good. My girls have limits and curfews and always enjoy the cruise.

[Chigirlcruzin]

Just because you don't want the responseability for you children don't attack those that love and make the hard decisions to protect theirs.

 

Uncalled for! How dare you question if somebody loves their child if they don't give them a curfew!!!:mad: I don't even know why I'm responding to such garbage:mad:

[gtouch]

Because it hits too close to home. I'm tired of parents saying I didn't know that they were doing Whatever.

[Chigirlcruzin]

Because it hits too close to home. I'm tired of parents saying I didn't know that they were doing Whatever.

 

I'm not a parent! There is no one right or wrong way to raise a child, and to state that someone doesn't love their child because that person doesn't agree with what you do is just disgusting.:eek: :mad:

[gtouch]

I'm so glad that at this time your not a parent. Your belief that they can do whatever they want whenever they want won't help them become better people or have better lives. Enjoy your cruise, take care of yourself and be glad that you don't have to worry about others.

[kiwicruiser83]

Watch your kids so the rest of us don't have to report the lil heathens!

[Chigirlcruzin]

I'm so glad that at this time your not a parent. Your belief that they can do whatever they want whenever they want won't help them become better people or have better lives. Enjoy your cruise, take care of yourself and be glad that you don't have to worry about others.

 

Did I say that they should be able to whatever they want whenever they want? NO! All I know is that my friends that had super strict parents are now out of control now they they are on their own. My parents ALWAYS knew where I was and when I should be expected home. If something came up where I needed to be later, I called. I never did anything to break their trust, and they therefore gave me freedom. Does that mean they don't love me? HECK NO!

 

 

My previous post on this thread:

Actually, the 18 year old IS an adult. Heck, when I was 18 I went on my first cruise without my parents. Only had to be 18 back in those days! I'm of the school of thought that it depends on the kid, and I lean more towards not having a curfew. I NEVER had a curfew growing up. I told my parents when I'd be home, and if I was going to be later, I'd just call. My parents trusted me. As a result, I never felt the need to rebel. I have friends that were overprotective with them, and even now at 28-30, they are still out of control "because they can."

 

I do agree that midnight is a reasonable curfew for a 14-15 year old.

 

Note I agree about having a curfew for younger teens (even 16-17 year olds). I just took offense to your statement that you have impose a curfew otherwise you don't love your kids.

__________________

[gtouch]

I glad that nothing happend to you. I am sure that you were a very good person and a great kid. I'm not talking about how good you were or how good the kids on the ship are going to be. I'm saying you don't know any of the other people on the cruise. Many parents take the cruise off as their vacation and quit being a parent during this time and expect the cruise line to take care of their children. If you read a lot of the threads some not all of the kids go WILD. Every so often not a lot but bad things happen. There are assaults both physical and sexual on passengers, not many but they do happen. And it seems that the parents always say I did not know they were doing those type of things. I am sure that you not only do the right thing but try to not put yourself in bad situations. But sometimes Bad things happen to Good kids. That is why I think or feel or whatever you want to say that parents are still responsible for their children even on a cruise. I want you and all passengers including my children to have a great cruise and not ruin it for other passengers. Again have a great cruise.

[Calicruiser101]

Children need curfews and boundaries, not only for their safety but for the fellow passengers as well. I just talked w/ my friend who works for the port in Long Beach and she said if parent's knew half the stuff they hear they wouldn't be so trusting. For example, she said she hears complaints about children being assaulted in the elevator, or an adult using foul/sexual language to a child in the elevator. She said there are cameras in the elevators and so sometimes it is 2 men and one blocks the camera while the other exposes himself or touches a child. She said to tell your children to NOT use the elevators, but instead always use the stairs. Stairs are much more public and therefore lessen the chances of an encounter like I just described. She also said people leave their doors open and expose themselves to children as they are walking by. Bottom line you can have the most ardent rule following child, but that does not mean that harm can't come to them via their fellow passengers.

Also, I am fascinated that some parents can go to sleep w/out knowing their kids are back in the room. My dad always waited up for me and then he went to bed. I don't think I could go to sleep until I knew DD (age 10) was safely back in the room.

[janetz]

Children need curfews and boundaries, not only for their safety but for the fellow passengers as well. I just talked w/ my friend who works for the port in Long Beach and she said if parent's knew half the stuff they hear they wouldn't be so trusting. For example, she said she hears complaints about children being assaulted in the elevator, or an adult using foul/sexual language to a child in the elevator. She said there are cameras in the elevators and so sometimes it is 2 men and one blocks the camera while the other exposes himself or touches a child. She said to tell your children to NOT use the elevators, but instead always use the stairs. Stairs are much more public and therefore lessen the chances of an encounter like I just described. She also said people leave their doors open and expose themselves to children as they are walking by. Bottom line you can have the most ardent rule following child, but that does not mean that harm can't come to them via their fellow passengers.

Also, I am fascinated that some parents can go to sleep w/out knowing their kids are back in the room. My dad always waited up for me and then he went to bed. I don't think I could go to sleep until I knew DD (age 10) was safely back in the room.

 

 

 

Ditto! I am always waiting for my teen. :)

[Chigirlcruzin]

Children need curfews and boundaries, not only for their safety but for the fellow passengers as well. I just talked w/ my friend who works for the port in Long Beach and she said if parent's knew half the stuff they hear they wouldn't be so trusting. For example, she said she hears complaints about children being assaulted in the elevator, or an adult using foul/sexual language to a child in the elevator. She said there are cameras in the elevators and so sometimes it is 2 men and one blocks the camera while the other exposes himself or touches a child. She said to tell your children to NOT use the elevators, but instead always use the stairs. Stairs are much more public and therefore lessen the chances of an encounter like I just described. She also said people leave their doors open and expose themselves to children as they are walking by. Bottom line you can have the most ardent rule following child, but that does not mean that harm can't come to them via their fellow passengers.

Also, I am fascinated that some parents can go to sleep w/out knowing their kids are back in the room. My dad always waited up for me and then he went to bed. I don't think I could go to sleep until I knew DD (age 10) was safely back in the room.

 

Yikes! That's disturbing! I absolutely agree children need guidelines, and even a curfew, even though I never had one. But when you're dealing with an 18 year old (and older), I don't believe a curfew is appropriate. Does that mean they should run amok and not have guidelines? Heck no! As I stated earlier, in 1995, when I was 18, you only had to be 18 to travel without a guardian (actually, my first cruise was 12 years ago today:) ). My friends and I had a blast, we were not in danger, kept our guard up, etc. 6 weeks after we got back from the cruise, we headed off to college. Think about it...we're living on our own, really able to do whatever we want to do. No curfews apply here! In my case, I was on a campus of 35,000 plus. Sheltering children is not going to help them in a situation like this (not saying that you said that Cali). They need to have the skills to make intelligent, responsible decisions.

[tribbs1]

My twin 17 DS had a 1 am curfew while on ship. At home their curfew is 11:30 pm so I thought this was reasonable. There weren't any scheduled activities that really took place after midnight. Also, my boys will stay out late and then sleep until noon or 1 and I wanted to be sure they would get up for excursions and not be crabby.

[rdrseller]

NO, I have not set a curfew for my DD and her best friend. That does not mean that they can stay out all night. IMHO there is a difference in stating a specific time "curfew" that they must return and having an understanding that they should practice good judgement and come in at a decent time.

 

My DD know that if the last activity on the Daily Papers is 12:30 and she comes to the room at 2AM, she will have caused herself a lot of problems. I don't have to set a curfew of 15 minutes past the last activity, I teach her how to use good judegement and she acts accordingly.

 

I treat her like a young adult and she acts like one! So far this has worked for us. When she gets it wrong, I correct her and we go from there.

 

And "GTouch" I love my daughter very much. I think where you are wrong is curfew can be handled in a different way and work for different families. We just don't say curfew - we say don't be stupid and come in when things are over.

[fllady61]

Did I say that they should be able to whatever they want whenever they want? NO! All I know is that my friends that had super strict parents are now out of control now they they are on their own. My parents ALWAYS knew where I was and when I should be expected home. If something came up where I needed to be later, I called. I never did anything to break their trust, and they therefore gave me freedom. Does that mean they don't love me? HECK NO!

 

 

My previous post on this thread:

Actually, the 18 year old IS an adult. Heck, when I was 18 I went on my first cruise without my parents. Only had to be 18 back in those days! I'm of the school of thought that it depends on the kid, and I lean more towards not having a curfew. I NEVER had a curfew growing up. I told my parents when I'd be home, and if I was going to be later, I'd just call. My parents trusted me. As a result, I never felt the need to rebel. I have friends that were overprotective with them, and even now at 28-30, they are still out of control "because they can."

 

I do agree that midnight is a reasonable curfew for a 14-15 year old.

 

Note I agree about having a curfew for younger teens (even 16-17 year olds). I just took offense to your statement that you have impose a curfew otherwise you don't love your kids.

__________________

 

 

here is the kicker. with carnival, you are not an adult till you are 21. Or at least able to travel alone till then.

 

When a child is trained to respect others, then they do that. If they are left , like my neighbors, to do whatever, and scream and hollar when they are just normal playing, then they are the ones that will cause problems in the future.

 

I personally don't understand kids today. In normal play, they scream at the top of their lungs. What is going to happen when they are n serious trouble?

 

I don't know which ship you were on where the kids threw deck chairs overboard, but i have yet to see that on any of the cruises I have been on. My DH and I are usually walking the deck around midnight to 1 am, and all we ever saw were older adults dancing to the music. The kids if they were still up, were in the arcade.

[halos]

Also, I am fascinated that some parents can go to sleep w/out knowing their kids are back in the room.

 

Fascinated is a very polite way of saying it.

I couldn't do it. No way.

 

My kids had curfew at home until the age of 21. That's our rule. They never balked at it either. If you implement FAIR boundaries (being overly strict is just as bad as being too lenient, I think) starting from a young age, they will grow to appreciate it, at least my girls did and still do.

[the_dylaness]

17 and 18 year olds should be old enough to decide for themselves what time to come back to the room. If you have an early shore excursion the next day, and they know about it, it's no one's fault but their own if they stay out too late and are tired the next day.

 

Anyone who is old enough to go to war is old enough to decide when to go to bed.

[halos]

17 and 18 year olds should be old enough to decide for themselves what time to come back to the room. If you have an early shore excursion the next day, and they know about it, it's no one's fault but their own if they stay out too late and are tired the next day.

 

Anyone who is old enough to go to war is old enough to decide when to go to bed.

 

just curious, do you have kids this age, and if so, do they not have a curfew at home?? Just curious.

 

Call me selfish, I don't like waiting up until 2-3:00 in the am....and I can't go to sleep unless my kids are safely tucked in their rooms.

[nmyorkiemom]

Fascinated is a very polite way of saying it.

I couldn't do it. No way.

 

My kids had curfew at home until the age of 21. That's our rule. They never balked at it either. If you implement FAIR boundaries (being overly strict is just as bad as being too lenient, I think) starting from a young age, they will grow to appreciate it, at least my girls did and still do.

 

 

I agree! My DS21 lives at home and as long as he does so, out of courtesy I will know where he is & when he will be back. And it had better be at a reasonable time!

 

DS17(18 in a week) has a time set by me as does DD15 - and they did on ship.

 

It's always based on circumstances & I don't sleep til they're all safely home! I always thought that was just something that came naturally to moms!:D

[bplazo]

My daughter has completed her first year of college but when she is at home she still has a curfew.

[BlueJacketsFan1]

Be their parents and not their friend. It is your decision and you should do what you think is best. Not what other parents do or say they would do. They can happen to anyone on a ship. Would you do thing different if you were vacationing in Miami versus the ship. They do need a little freedom at their ages, but you have to be able to live with your dicision. Good Luck!

[we2cruze]

17 and 18 year olds should be old enough to decide for themselves what time to come back to the room. If you have an early shore excursion the next day, and they know about it, it's no one's fault but their own if they stay out too late and are tired the next day.

 

Anyone who is old enough to go to war is old enough to decide when to go to bed.

 

In my opinion, if I am still paying all the bills at home and paying for the cruise, then they are not "old enough" to decide for themselves. When they are self sufficient and truly out on their own, then they are old enough. I assume the 18 year olds who join the army are no longer depending on Mommy and Daddy to take care of everything for them.

That being said, for me it is all about my responsibility to keep my kids safe. That means different things for my 18 year than for my 13 year old. However, since they are still under my care, I do set down guidelines to keep them safe and help them to make wise choices.

Every family is different and the method that works wonderfully for one family may have bad results for another. So it is difficult for someone who doesn't even know the OP to tell them what to do. But we can all give our input and the OP can use it to make a decision that is right for their family. One more thing, it is never right for any family to allow their kids to infringe on the rights of others, as in late night rampages, or even late night noise within their stateroom.