Help!! Husband doesn't want to go!!

[Geebee8]

Hi all! I am in desperate need of some help!! :eek: My parents have graciously offered to take me and my husband on their next cruise with them (they are yearly cruisers) and my husband doesn't want to go!! We need to get the reservations in by this weekend (9/1) and I don't know how to convince him so any help would be VERY appreciated!! He is giving me the "don't want to dress up for dinner", "I don't want to be stuck on a boat for a week", "I don't want to go to third world countries (going to caribbean)" song and dance and I know him well enough to know that if he would just go, he'd have a great time. Anyone have any advice or info that I could pass along to him?

 

Thanks so much!!!

[SC LTC]

Tell you what!!! if he doesn't want to go leave him home take a friend or sis what ever you do don't miss if your parents are asking you to go :D

[Amy from Delaware]

You didn't say how far out the cruise is, but if there's enough time, book it and hope he changes his mind before final payment. If he doesn't, do as the above poster suggested and take someone else.

 

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to go on a cruise with someone who really didn't want to go, so you might have a better time with someone else.

[Geebee8]

We're planning to go 2/2/08 - 2/9/08.

 

Thanks for the tip!

[Annieeee]

Hmm, just tell him that you are going with or without him, that going with him is preferable, but that even without him it will still be a great cruise. If he does not want to go, then he simple does not want to go. If you force him, cajole him or threaten him into going and he truly does not have a good time, then he will have you to blame. So take the other posters' advice and take a friend.

 

Have a great time,

 

Annieeee

[JanineM]

Well, he doesn't have to dress up for dinners ... there are always alternatives like the buffet and room service. He can eat in the dining room in khakis and a golf shirt most nights.

 

There is SO much to do on a ship! Check out the ship your parents have booked and find out about their: fitness center, golf simulation, mini golf, basketball, paddle tennis, movie theatre, sports bar, swimming pools, ice rink, rock climbing wall, water slide, library, bars ... whatever will interest him! My DH (who is bored very easily) has never been bored on a ship.

 

Although the countries in the Caribbean are not as wealthy (or developed) as the US, there are lots of great things to do. The beaches are fabulous, and you aren't constantly harassed by people selling things (you may see some). The shopping is great. There are interesting outdoor activities like scuba, snorkel, zip lines, kayaking, sailing, etc. Plus, you only spend a few hours on each island.

 

And you can remind him that he's not going on a boat, he's going on a "ship". There is a big difference. A ship is like a gigantic floating super-luxurious resort. There are huge open areas and choices of places to eat. You can spend as much time around other people as you like, or as little.

 

We especially love cruising because we don't have to make any decisions. If you're like most couples you wind up bickering about where to go for dinner every night on vacation, then you get lost on the way to the restaurant, then there is a 2-hour lineup ... and it's not always the most relaxing trip. With cruising you don't have to worry about that. The restaurant travels with you! Only one packing/unpacking session!

 

Finally, you can do what my DH did before my first cruise. He asked me to try it just once "for him". If I hated it, he would never again ask me to go. I was willing to try it once (especially once I found the transderm patch for motion sickness). I loved it, and we would now cruise every month if we won the lottery!

 

Hope this helps. Good luck in your campaign!

[cruzkitty]

Tell you what...I'LL marry you & you can take me!!:D

 

Seriously, tell him how MUCH it means to you to go. Hog-time him, drag him behind you, but GO on that Cruise-whatever it takes!! Not everybody is fortunate enough to be invited on a cruise-he doesn't know what he is missing-he will love it, IF you can just get him on the Ship.

 

Good Luck!!

[coach32]

20 years ago my wife said she would leave me if i didn't go on a cruise. I can't swim and can't sit still. I told her I was gonna miss her. She packed my charge cards and said she'd take her sister. Backed into a corner I packed up all my music, books, games, toys and two quarts of gin (it puts me to sleep so I figured I could snore through it) after making her promise never to ask for anything (more kids) ever again, I went kicking, and screaming. By my third cruise I stopped bringing the music, books or games as I have not found time to use then on the ship. while at sea I get up at 6AM to see the sunrise and enjoy a moment of me time before the party starts again. I've never met anyone that did not enjoy a cruise. Just completed my seventh trip and can't wait to go again.

 

P.S. My wife says I have to bring the toys. heh heh heh

[danielleb25]

make him go! 1. he doesnt have to dress up for dinner, he can eat at the buffet in his swim trunks. 2. he doesnt ever have to get off the ship. 3. promise if he does get off the ship, you'll let him do an excursion he wants to do(golf?)4. its free, if he doesnt have fun, its not like your out the money!. im sure your husband knows how to eat, drink, swim, tan and sleep.

you could always use the" if im not happy, you'll be unhappy with only half your stuff" routine. that'll snap him out of it. lol. im just kidding!

[Fredr]

Hello,

 

Tell him that a cruise is not about getting dressed up for the formal nights. He doesn't have to on the formal nights but you will, and you will have a wonderful time in the dining room with your parents. He won't go hungry as he can get a tray at the buffet and have dinner or room service. Formal nights are a magical night on a cruise ship, and the people who are not dressed up seem to say "it is a wonderful party and I wish I was part of it." By dressing up , for him, means a coat and a tie.

 

Being served by third world people...well, yes he may be. Maybe people like Colin Powell's mother and father who were from Jamaica. Or maybe someone from Bernie Williams or Ivan Rodriquez's family or even someone from the same island that produced Tim Duncan. Let's make this very clear. Just because someone comes from a third world country that in itself does not make them "third world". I have been on 19 cruises and never once has the issue of the country of origin made any difference whatsoever in terms of friendliness and service (our waiters and cabin stewards have come from all over the world and they have been some of the nicest, most professional people I have ever met).

 

Here is an idea for you....promise him lots of romance, time together watching the sunsets and sunrises, having a quiet drink before dinner and and after the shows at night. Walk out on deck at night and then lots of romance.

 

If, however, he really and truly doesn't want to go (even for you) then go with a friend.

 

Hope that this helps.

 

Fred

[KC_fn]

Tell him he'll be treated like a king in the dining room.

 

Oh, and UNLIMITED FOOD! That is a big selling point to most guys.

[mithryl]

I'm with all of those who have said...just go...with or without him. If he really isn't interested, don't force it, but don't give up your opportunity just because he doesn't want to go. You can explain that he is always at choice (dressing up or not for dinner, etc. going or not...whatever.) If he is not open to trying something new...just go, take pictures and share what a wonderful experience you had...without him. maybe next time he'll re-think his position.

[Coolmama_1]

I'm not sure how old you are or your parents, but time is a precious thing. We went on a cruise with my parents and brother/sil 2 yrs ago and it was a nice family vacation. You never know what tomorrow brings. Now my parents are not in good health and another cruise is out of the question.

 

Family memories last forever. Explain to him how much it would mean to you. I have met few people that didn't like cruising. Anyway, it is 7 days out of a lifetime. It is a small sacrifice to have cherished memories with family.:)

[doone]

I am going through this with my BF, I booked a cruise for February and he won't go with me, so I am going without him. He can stay home with all the snow and cold while I am basking in the sunshine of the beautiful caribbean. I am hoping that knowing I am willing to go without him, eventually he'll come around and go with me.

 

Good luck to both of us!!!!!

[Ephraim]

It's either something that he wants to do, or something that he doesn't. If he really doesn't want to do it, then your choices are simple, either go without him or politely tell your parents that WE don't want to go. Don't make it about him, it's a united decision.

 

And respect his right to choose. It's his vacation time as well. Just sit down and discuss it calmly and tell him what you want to do, tell him to look up cruising on the website of the company. Tell him that he can skip formal dinners by ordering room service or by going to the buffet. Tell him that he can go to the beach when you are in the Caribbean, or go for golf, if that is what he wants. But to force someone doesn't work, because I can guarantee you that he will have a miserable time if he is forced.

[kazover40]

Don't know which cruise line you are planning on taking. But would your parents consider "free style" cruising" this once. Just so your DH feels comfortable and would not have the excuse of "dressing up"

[clackey]

I am going through this with my BF, I booked a cruise for February and he won't go with me, so I am going without him. He can stay home with all the snow and cold while I am basking in the sunshine of the beautiful caribbean. I am hoping that knowing I am willing to go without him, eventually he'll come around and go with me.

 

Good luck to both of us!!!!!

Good for you. Life is too short to have someone else dictate what YOU need to do.

 

A very close couple that I have known for 20 years, always take seperate vacations. He likes to fish and hunt and she travels. I guess that it works. He is going to South Dakota to hunt pheasants and she is taking a Med Cruise. I think that if they compare cost, he may have to take a safari in Africa to balance things out.;)

 

P.S. Doone, you may want to rethink this arrangement. There are lots of OTHER guys on the ship.:rolleyes:

[Guest maler]

"STUCK ON A SHIP"

 

Funny, that's like being 'stuck' in New York City!

[Shorex]

First, for the OP, I really hope your DH falls in love with cruising and the two of you have many more wonderful cruises. As a cruise enthusiast, I often talk up the cruise experience to friends who have never cruised. Some are intrigued, some are totally not interested in any way. It took a while, but I realized that cruising is NOT for everyone -- there are people who have the means and the time and cruising is still the WRONG way for them to spend their leisure time. (and they are not even crazy! :eek:)

 

Just as I have zero interest in deep sea fishing and mountain climbing and golf and video games and comic books and ..... I recognize there are people who have a passion for some of these activities and zero interest in cruising. DH and I have a passion for seeing the world and cruising is the way we chose to do it. But recognize that not everyone will embrace cruising the way we on this board do, and they are still ok people. ( I promise not to bore you with my passions for jazz or Harry Potter or the law of tax-exempt organizations if you promise not to bore me with your passion for chess or 19th century English poetry! but we can chat forever about a mutual passion for cruising!)

[doone]

Clackey, you are so right, there will be an extra chair at our dining table, perhaps a tall, dark, handsome, single man will sit with us!!!!!

 

I love cruising and was cruising long before I met him. If he doesn't come with me this time, perhaps another time, and maybe not, who knows, but I do know I won't stop cruising. We may be like that couple you know, taking separate vacations!!

 

Thanks, I'll have a good time no matter what, but I am still hoping he'll join me. We do have a great time together.

[GORDONCHICK]

How about another angle: "Honey, if you'll go on this cruise, I won't ask you to do another one if you don't like it."

 

He may not like it, and I do know a few that didn't. But I've taught my 6yo DS that he can't tell me doesn't like something if he hasn't tried it.

[Traveler Nina]

I'm with FredR, in this busy life of ours having spur of the moment romantic moments just doesn't happen very often if at all. When you are on a cruise you can do anything you want when you want! (It's one of the top reasons my DH loves to cruise!) The fun memories we make and the moments we share like dancing under the stars, sharing a laugh at the marriage game show, seeing something new together for the first time is surprisingly romantic. And when we get tired of other people we can retire to our cabin at any time for a "nap":D If the thought of having you rested and ready at any time doesn't entice him to go then you might want to have him checked for illness!:eek:

[BooBoos]

I don't know if anyone else has suggested this, but my little secret it, when I reall want something..I offer lot's of sex..Works every time!

[doone]

BooBoos, your funny. I am going to have to try that.

[clackey]

I don't know if anyone else has suggested this, but my little secret it, when I reall want something..I offer lot's of sex..Works every time!

Works swell!!