Is cruising with young children really relaxing?

[Ms belp]

I've heard so many stories, some first hand, that lead me to believe that it may not be the best choice for families. Friends of ours have decided that it's best to take them to a resort/beach cabin, just for their own peace of mind, and happiness of their children. I know there are many relaxed parents who have children who can have fun on a cruise; their parents' attitudes have obviously rubbed off on them. But, I have seen parents screaming at their children, looking as if they wish they could get away with throwing them overboard; it's not pretty. Children come first, not vacations!

[JerseyMom]

I've heard so many stories, some first hand, that lead me to believe that it may not be the best choice for families. Friends of ours have decided that it's best to take them to a resort/beach cabin, just for their own peace of mind, and happiness of their children. I know there are many relaxed parents who have children who can have fun on a cruise; their parents' attitudes have obviously rubbed off on them. But, I have seen parents screaming at their children, looking as if they wish they could get away with throwing them overboard; it's not pretty. Children come first, not vacations!

 

I think it depends on the child/children. Also, the age. If the children are old enough for the kids club (i.e., over 2) and they like going, then I think it can be nice and relaxing for everyone - kids have fun and get to expend energy and Mom and Dad can catch some quality time. I have heard some people on this board who took babies and toddlers under the age of 2 and seemed to enjoy themselves - personally, I did not cruise with my son until he was 6. With him, I don't think I would have found it to be relaxing at a younger age and certainly not when he was under 2. At 6 it was fine. He went off to kids club and I spent some quality time (not to mention money) in the SPA.

[CanadianTwosome]

While I definitely agree that it depends on the children, I think a lot of what Ms Belp is talking about has to do with the parents. I have never screamed at my child in public. I can't imagine doing so on a cruise ship!! I sometimes wonder when I see things like that if the child might not have been more enjoyable to cruise with if the parents had stayed home! I agree that children come first. Thankfully, the vast majority of kids I've seen on cruise ships have been well behaved and I've never seen any screaming parents. (Theme parks, shopping malls, airports and other places, though... all the time. :( )

[Mich1121]

I first cruised with my son when he was 3. Because he was already in preschool going to the kids club was not a big thing for him. He loves to play with other children and when we explored the ship he could not wait to go. I checked him in from 9 to 12 every day and after that I took him to the pool where he could swim and play with friends he had made. Walking around the ship we would hear other kids call his name which was great. He already had friends. In March I am crusing with him again. He is now 5 and I have a baby who will be 11 months old at the time. I also cruise with other families so we take turns baby sitting and mom gets a free day and then so does dad. I would never yell at my kids in public. They are on vacation and get excited and want to do things just as bad as you do. They come first and even though your paying for the vacation you come second. I personally would never go anywhere without my kids due to my anxiety about leaving them but I could not imagine cruising without them. At night their grandmother sits with them and me and dad go to the casino and bars and have fun. At the end of the day we all did what we wanted to.

[cruizinwithkids]

I think it all depends on what you're looking for in a vacation. Mich has grandparents traveling so the parents can take advantage of the night life. Some people put the kids to sleep and sit on their balcony and relax. I imagine that would be similar to going to a beach cabin/resort.

 

I read on the family board that someone had taken an infant. While they stated this wasn't a typical cruise vacation, it provided the parents with the opportunity to relax without having to worry about cooking and cleaning. Just relaxing and spending time with the baby and then in the evening spending time as a couple on their balcony.

[moonchild]

For me the answer would be No. I worry too much about my children; I’m not one who would allow my kids to wonder the ship on their own.

 

When my children were young we spent vacations at Disney land/world, Universal Studios, other amusements parks, Myrtle Beach, and a lot of camping. I considered that to be family vacations. Cruising with children was never an option.

 

I see people posting, asking information on cruising with children and I cannot help but to wonder why?

 

The carnival cruise I took with friends and family was in Dec, over the holidays. 630 children were aboard, including my two teens. My friend had her 6 year old with her. He would not leave her side, so she never was able to drop him off at the clubs. The kids on the cruise were causing trouble by the second day out to sea. I think the first day they had done everything and the second day it was old news. We had four days at sea that cruise. :(

[MrsLeo]

My kids are 5 and 7, and have been on 7 cruises. I can only speak from personal experience as you do not give specific examples of what sorts of situations you are referring to, aside from the way the parents looked at the time. I don't think it matters where you vacation with your kids, be it a cabin in the mountains or a cruise ship, they are still kids. You are a parent regardless and if the kid is out of line, you reel them back in. No one has perfect children, and no one is a perfect parent. We all have times when we are not at our best.

The people who crack me up are the ones who make an informed decision to cruise with a cruise line that very openly caters to families with children and then chooses to sit back and whine and complain because they have to "tolerate" those families. Or those who have the unrealistic expectations that children will behave like small adults, if not, the parents must surely be incompetent.

 

I can tell you that out of our seven cruises I have seen more poorly behaved adults than children, and my kids and I love to cruise and look forward to our vacations. We take other vacations as well, but cruising generally meets all of our expectations for great family getaway.

 

Because I home school my kids, our schedule is flexible enough that we can go on several trips throughout the year. My kid's have seen a lot and done a lot that others will only read about, if they are lucky enough to read, since our local schools do not seem to be doing a very good job at the moment (but thats a totallly different post, on a different board) I was laughing the other day the kids were watching Diego or Dora on TV with one of their friends and the show was about a blue morpho butterfly, my son's friend was amazed that d/s had actually seen a real blue morpho when he was in the Guatemalan rain forest. Pretty cool by a 7 year old's standards.

 

My point in sharing this with you, is to say that perhaps you caught a family at a bad time when the parents or the children were not at their very best, but that doesn't mean family cruising is for the birds, it simply means that you saw a parent and a child having a moment, it doesn't mean their entire cruise was a write off. Children need boundaries, it's a parents job to provide those. If children didn't need direction and instruction, they wouldn't need parents and all your friends who have kids would have a lot less grey hair. But it is a labor of love and full of rewards, even though there are a few tense moments from time to time.

[cruizinwithkids]

My point in sharing this with you, is to say that perhaps you caught a family at a bad time when the parents or the children were not at their very best,

 

I always chuckle to myself when you see the families at Disney. The kids are exhausted and crying, the parents are exhausted and frustrated - some are probably even crying. I'm sure they were having a great time earlier, but at that moment, I think WOW how much are they paying for this much fun?!?!

[Migglewump Fizzlebottom]

I know a family with 9 children ages 15 years to 4 months. I would go anywhere with them, as they are all well behaved and display impeccable manners (yes, including the infant, never says a word).

 

I know a family with 2 children ages 6 and 8 that I wouldn't go across the street with because the kids cannot behave and act like humans.

 

Why the difference? The parents. One set believes in discipline and the other set in "time outs" and reasoning.

 

If the parents bother to put any effort into raising their children, then yes it could be relaxing, for everyone involved (parents, children, the people while they are trying to eat, that aren't being aggravated listening to a whiny brat cry because the mean man didn't serve his juice in the proper sippy cup.)

[MrsLeo]

Cruizen, you said a mouthful. We all have a limit on how much fun is fun! We all have to rest sometime. It's just like having a few drinks, know when to say when, lol!

 

I have some very funny memories and pictures of when we found out it was time to say "when" One is an embarcation photo of my daughter slumped over in her stroller with drool running down her face (yes I had to buy it). Another time was a day precruise in New Orleans, it was unseasonably cold for March and we decided to take a horse and carriage ride to get off our feet and warm up under the blankets. I am so glad it took a while to see all the sights, because as soon as they got warm and relaxed the rhythm of the carriage and the sound of the horses hooves sent them off to sleepy land. We've had a train trip from where we flew into Long Island and took the train into NYC and the kids crashed and burned. All of these were moments where if the conditions had not been just right, things could have gotten very ugly, fortunately the kids slept instead.

[deppong]

we just did a christmas cruise with our adult children and 17month old granddaughter. While it was a lot of work for our daughter we all took turns taking care of the baby. DD is a full time teacher and really wanted to spend time with her baby so she didn't really want us to "Take over". This cruise was their christmas present from us and we came along as babysitters. The baby was very good but hard to keep any kind of schedule. She napped in the stroller, ate at wierd times and slept half a night in her mom's bed instead of the porta crib. But all in all it was fun and all had a great time. You have to be flexible with small children. Its more or less keeping their schedule as much as possible and you have to know how your kids will do with an interupted change in the regular schedule. If they are very regimented they wont do well and you will have a bad time. If they are very easy going it will be fine.

[ptyof4]

We have taken our 2 children on vacations - both all inclusive and cruises since they were 2 years old. They love both types of holidays, and we love taking them - seeing things for the first time through a child's perspective is amazing. Our son, who was 5 last yr. was snorkeling with his Dad in Mexico and they say a sting ray - he is still talking about it!!! :)

[smeyer418]

This is what I call an old fogey started thread. Children are a joy but hard work. Is there any place you can relax with young children? Children learn from their parents. They need to be exposed to different things including cruising and people like Ms Blep....

 

Not every one can leave them home with their grand parents....nor should they. Should they be well behaved of course but then so should their parents....

 

Do they serve children in the dining room....yes par boiled....

[Cruise_baby]

This is what I call an old fogey started thread. Children are a joy but hard work. Is there any place you can relax with young children? Children learn from their parents. They need to be exposed to different things including cruising and people like Ms Blep....

 

Not every one can leave them home with their grand parents....nor should they. Should they be well behaved of course but then so should their parents....

 

Do they serve children in the dining room....yes par boiled....

 

I so agree with you!!! LOL!!!

I was trying to stay away from this thread because it makes me so angry to hear comments from people that don't remember what it was like being a kid!!!

I have brought my kids on cruises since they were toddlers, and yes, there are moments when they act up. These moments would be there whether we were home, or whether we are on a cruise.

Why do people have children if they don't want to spend any time with them??? I am a mother that works full time, and my idea of a vacation is to spend quality time with my family. It is sad that a lot of people don't think this way. Maybe these are the kids that grow up feeling angry and unloved.

 

My children come home and can tell anyone about all the caribbean beaches they've been to, how they played with children from St. Marteen on the beach, and how they've seen how other people live.

My children can also say that they've spent time with their family and had a blast. I feel sorry for people that can't see that.

 

And for those that don't want to see any children, maybe you should stick to an adult only cruise or all inclusive resort, because we are not going anywhere!

Grace

[pla]

My children are 7, 10 and 12, and we will be taking our 7th cruise with them. My youngest was 2 when we started cruising, and once we started cruising with them, we haven't looked back.

 

Anything with children is more difficult than being alone with DH, but for a family vacation, it is the BEST. My husband so looks forward to the cruises because he bonds with the kids. We always know where we will eat, and that they will have something good for the kids to eat. Cruising is so relaxing with kids, and I am not a mom that lets them just "wander off."

 

We have also taken 4 cruises without kids (2 of them after we had children), and we truly missed our kids. DH and I had nice, quality time, but we kept talking about how much fun our kids would have had.

 

I also think a cruise is great times for "alone" time for everyone. The kids go to the kids club, and mom and dad get time alone. yet we still see each other hours every day, and it is much less stressful than ordinary life at home! I am not a mom that yells at her kids in public, but there are times that I get angry with my kids at home, but it seems on cruises, we rarely get upset with the kids, as everything is so easy, and we don't have to worry about anything!

 

One note, we started cruising when our youngest was 2. The kids club had 2-5 program, and so my middle child and youngest were in it together. Had we not had that, I am not sure that my youngest would have enjoyed it as much. It is her personality, and the others would have been just fine at two. This summer we cruised with 15 of us, and there was a 10 month old in our party. It was pretty stressful for the parents of that child, but more because they made it so. They had to make sure they were back at the room for her nap, and she had to be in bed at a certain time, etc. etc. etc. :eek: FIRST TIME parent stuff. Some of the rest of us did babysit for them so that they could do stuff together, but my recommendation is to wait until they are accepted at the kids club (different ages for different cruise lines).

 

Every year we give our kids a choice between Christmas presents and a cruise, and every year they jump up and down screaming, "cruise! cruise! cruise!" And then I jump up and down screaming "YES! YES! YES!" :D

[crusinmama06]

Was this thread started by someone with a true question or just someone who wants to preach to us about how to care for children? I have a hard time reading the intentions of this thread.

 

But I will answer it honestly. We have a better time on cruises then at beach resorts (yes we do both every year) because on cruises, the kids have more activities offered to them. My children choose cruises over any resort.

 

I might just be lucky with 2 kids that go with the flow. I have never wanted to "throw my kids off the ship".

 

We have been at resorts where we have been rained out. What do you do at a beach when it is cold and raining? We don't have that problem on a cruise.

 

So did you ask this question because you were generally wondering if we have a good time with kids on a cruise vacation, then I can answer....YES.

[IAO]

I think cruising with young children, or any other travel for that matter, is what you make of it. I am a TA that specializes in family travel. I tell clients they need to take into account their kids' needs and personalities. For example, when we took our kids to Spain, I would have LOVED a day trip to Morocco and and I would have LOVED a day trip to see Alhambra. I have been dreaming of Morocco for a long time. However, I know my children's temperaments and knew that those 2 trips would have made for too long of a day for my kids. So, we didn't do them because if we did, we would have all been miserable at the end of the day. Instead, we found excursions and things to do that worked well with my kids. When you see kids at Disney having meltdowns, it's probably because the parents have a vision of what the "magical" trip to Disney should entail and are are trying to do too much at once.

 

When traveling with kids, parents need to have realistic expectations and understand there is the possibility they (the parents) may not get to do everything they want. On our Disney cruise in November, we thought both of our kids would want to spend all their time in the kid's club. However, we found that while our daughter liked the club, she didn't want to spend that much time in there. She rathered be with DH and I. Whereas our son had to be bribed at one point to leave the club. DH and I would have liked to have more time to ourselves, but it wasn't to be and I certainly wasn't going to force DD into doing something she didn't want to meet my desires.

 

The parents screaming at their kids are in all likelihood the ones that had high expectations of what a cruise with kids should be like, and were disappointed when those expectations were met.

 

I love traveling with my kids. Their reactions and excitement are really what makes the trip. Sure, DH and I get away on their own (very important for us), but traveling with kids can be a blast.

[Fogfog]

I've heard so many stories, some first hand, that lead me to believe that it may not be the best choice for families. Friends of ours have decided that it's best to take them to a resort/beach cabin, just for their own peace of mind, and happiness of their children. I know there are many relaxed parents who have children who can have fun on a cruise; their parents' attitudes have obviously rubbed off on them. But, I have seen parents screaming at their children, looking as if they wish they could get away with throwing them overboard; it's not pretty. Children come first, not vacations!

 

 

I think you hit the nail on the head--its the parent's disposition, temperment etc...and every parent is different

 

Our family loved cruising with our little ones--The kids were 2.5 and 5.

 

But we had been traveling with them overseas since they were 6 mos and 3 respectively.

 

Cruising is relaxing because the childrens programs can be great and the family can dine together etc..and also do excursions together.

 

We love being with our teens and have taken them everywhere since they were born..can't imagine vacationing without them..and they love to travel too.

[PattyW]

OK - call me crazy, but I think cruising with children is very relaxing.

 

My cruise in two weeks is actually the first one where we may be able to have both children in the kids club (if my 2 year old will go, which I think he will). If we get some alone time because of that, I will be thrilled. The past three cruises we have sailed with a child that was not old enough to be in the kids' club so we have lots of experience with that, too.

 

Here's my thought: a baby (not a kid) makes you relax. Why? Because they aren't up for all day excursions; they aren't even up for all day at the beach. They get up early, like to nap, they like to eat on a schedule and they go to bed early. That means that we are up early and get to port in the morning, and we are back on the ship for lunch. We relax after lunch for a couple of hours while the baby naps and unless we have a babysitter, we are in bed at a decent hour because the baby needs her sleep.

 

If it were just my husband and I, we would still be up early (can't waste time on vacation!), gone all day at port and then out all night onboard. I came home from pre-kid vacations (cruise or otherwise) completely exhausted. It's almost like I can't rationalize just sitting and relaxing if the sitting and relaxing part only benefits me.

 

Now, I will be the first to say that a cruise with children (esp. young ones) is not the same vacation as a cruise without children. But I would NEVER say that a cruise with children is not relaxing.

[Onessa]

I've heard so many stories, some first hand, that lead me to believe that it may not be the best choice for families. Friends of ours have decided that it's best to take them to a resort/beach cabin, just for their own peace of mind, and happiness of their children. I know there are many relaxed parents who have children who can have fun on a cruise; their parents' attitudes have obviously rubbed off on them. But, I have seen parents screaming at their children, looking as if they wish they could get away with throwing them overboard; it's not pretty. Children come first, not vacations!

 

While it is up the the parents to decide what is best for their families, and while I agree with some here that perhaps the OP had just caught some of these families at the wrong time; there are some people who probably just shouldn't have kids.

 

One of my co-workers has two very nice kids (DS 5YO and DD 7YO) -- I've come to the conclusion that SHE shoudl not have had kids (fortunately the Dad also works where I work and HE is a wonderful father!). Co-worker comes in every day at 6:00am and does not leave until at least 6:00pm -- works weekends -- takes mounds of work home with her. She can't be "bothered" (her word) with field trips, christmas pagents, etc. I sometimes wonder how she remembers the kids names. She does one trip a year -- a week long "girls only" trip to an all inclusive in Mexico and shows us pics of (literally) drunken debauchery ("Girls Gone Wild" has NOTHING on these ladies -- all in their 30s or 40s). I cannot image her being able to have fun on a vacation with her kids (or honestly her DH)!

 

I, on the other hand, cannot imagine traveling without my DD. DH and I took a day off of work while she was in school to handle some financial issues related to my father's death -- while it was normally a day we'd both be at work and she'd be at school, and the time with the financial planner would have been incredibly DULL for her; we still both mentioned how we missed her not being with us.

 

Traveling with a kid is a wonderful experience. From infancy on you have the wonderful opportunity to see the world as a whole new place. We were seated next to a 2MO and his parents at a restraunt last weekend -- it was so much fun to watch him taking EVERYthing in -- the waiters, the jukebox (it had some CD's twirling around), his father trying to eat this HUGE burrito -- it was fun. Sharing insights with my 12YO DD is just great.

 

So it really is just what you make of it. I love to travel with my family and wouldn't trade even one moment of one trip we've taken for an "adult only" experience. I wouldn't limit us to our weekends at the cabin, or to any of our road trips, or any of our cruises. I want to be able to have shown my DD the hot air balloons in NM, Fireworks over Lake Superior, the falls at Yosemite, the Leaning tower of Pisa, the lava tubs in HI, the ancient ruins in Greece -- I had a child to share my life with -- not to just barely tolerate until she is old enough to be on her own!

[clansac]

I saw a mom screaming at her 5 year old at the grocery store this morning... perhaps children should not go to the grocery store either. Perhaps they should stay home.

 

I think it doesn't matter where you go- you will see parents that lose it and yell. Our son is nearly 5 and we will do our first cruise together in February. He has enough frequent flier miles to get a free ticket to Galveston. We take him everywhere with us and expect him to behave and have taught him what is expected. But in reality, he's a kid and sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes adults don't behave either. It happens. But it doesn't mean that they should be trapped in the closet at home to avoid embarrassing anyone.

 

We are thrilled at the prospect of the kids club, as DS is in school full-time and is an only child, he's also excited. He can't wait to do fun activities and meet new friends. And I can't wait to take a nap, read a book, swim and catch up with DH while not feeling guilty for saddling the grandparents with DS for a week.

[clansac]

I saw a mom screaming at her 5 year old at the grocery store this morning... perhaps children should not go to the grocery store either. Perhaps they should stay home.

 

I think it doesn't matter where you go- you will see parents that lose it and yell. Our son is nearly 5 and we will do our first cruise together in February. He has enough frequent flier miles to get a free ticket to Galveston. We take him everywhere with us and expect him to behave and have taught him what is expected. But in reality, he's a kid and sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes adults don't behave either. It happens. But it doesn't mean that they should be trapped in the closet at home to avoid embarrassing anyone.

 

We are thrilled at the prospect of the kids club, as DS is in school full-time and is an only child, he's also excited. He can't wait to do fun activities and meet new friends. And I can't wait to take a nap, read a book, swim and catch up with DH while not feeling guilty for saddling the grandparents with DS for a week.

[rebeccalouise]

First of all I don't agree that there are unruly kids on most cruises (maybe the ones without parental supervision).I have seen happy contented kids on cruises for the most part.As the one having to change kids in cramped areas. Wash off kids in the shower. Carry a sleeping child in a sand filled swimsuit back to the ship. Spend restless nights because the baby didn't sleep well in the strange environment. Sleep in a top bunk because the room was too small for a crib, etc. I say- yuck to cruising with babies and toddlers. Yes it can be done but I much preferred having bigger digs and extended family to help out. I much preferred having a condo with a kitchen to wash out bottles instead of the ship bathroom. Bringing along all the stuff that one needs for an infant and toddler.This is just my opinion. Many people that have stayed in mini suites profess to loving cruising with little kids. But families of four in a standard stateroom tend to get on each other's nerves by the end of the cruise.3 and up is better than babies and toddlers.

[ShelbysMom]

3 and up is better than babies and toddlers.

 

I've seen you write this many times, and each time I want to ask, in all sincerity, those hassles you cited outweighed the benefits of having someone cook and clean up for you? I am willing to deal with the space hassles in exchange for the dining room meals and someone to make up my room. We did a condo vacation in Hawaii when DS was 5 months old, and I felt at times like I may as well have been at home.

 

Sure you can eat out at restaurants while on land, but that is another thing I like about cruising - limited decision making as to where to eat. Just show up at the dining room. :)

[CanadianTwosome]

There certainly has been some interesting input on this thread!! There were a couple of points I noticed that I wanted to respond to.

 

There was mention of a land based vacation like Disneyworld or Universal being more appropriate for smaller children. I think like everything it depends on the children, but for my family, the cruise is definitely better. Of course, ours is nine now and has told me in no uncertain terms that she prefers cruising... but if the idea is that it's easier to entertain the child at the parks... I think it's also easier to exhaust a child and have them get cranky from heat, overexcitement, overexertion... while on a cruise, even if your child doesn't go to the kid's activities, you can have a nice time relaxing by the pool or reading books, or watching a movie... or any number of ways. We don't feel the need to pack blister pads when we cruise, also!!

 

There was mention of a cruise with many kids on it, who started misbehaving on the second day... I have a feeling that this was likely only SOME of the kids... and as so many people point out here so often, it's too bad that their parents weren't paying more attention to them. The kids signed into the kid's programs wouldn't have been causing problems since they would have been being supervised, which means any children 'acting up' were NOT signed in to the programs... and were hence the responsibility of their parents... children need supervision and rules that they know will be enforced. As a child on cruises, there was no kid's club, and at 10 and 12 my mother trusted me to roam freely - and I deserved that trust. I swam, I read, I hung out with other kids, and unless people were annoyed by laughter or other sounds of happy children, I didn't bother anyone. (neither did the others - there weren't very many of us in those days and we all tended to group together, so I was very aware of how the others were behaving as well)

 

I always agree so completely with Onessa. We defitely have the same feeling about parenting in this respect as well. I can't imagine being without my child while on a vacation. My husband and I were actually making plans to take an 'adult only' vacation a couple of years ago and had to cancel our plans - neither of us could foresee having a good time knowing that we were off in an exciting place having fun while our daughter wasn't. My greatest joy in life is sharing it with my daughter. I was just thinking this morning about how she is half way to adulthood. :(

 

I can't think of any reason why any vacation with kids wouldn't be relaxing, unless you're simply not capable of relaxing with your kids around. If that's the case, I think you SHOULD leave your kids at home. They probably need as much of a break from you as you do from them. (this is not a bad thing, this is just a decision that a parent can make in the best interests of everyone involved. Some parents and kids clash, it's a fact of life.)

 

I also agree that there are some people who just shouldn't be parents. I have a friend who is young and beautiful and she has decided that she does not want children. We've discussed it and she says the thing that annoys her more than anything else is that when she tells people, so many will go into long lists of reasons why she's made the 'wrong' decision. But if everyone not suited to being a parent - or who just plain didn't want to have children - would take precautions to actually ensure they didn't ever have children, I'll bet there would be a lot less screaming. :rolleyes: