Completely Depressed & Frustrated...HELP!

[Brenda33]

Smooth.....I hear you about letting people know where you are, etc. I have a close almost relative like person on the Explorer right now. I read a thread saying that there was a medical emergency with a passenger. I was so nervous! I later found out it was a woman......which meant the person I know was not the person. I always let someone know exactly where I am.

[smoothdancer]

I know you have talked about a lot of stress in your life and at that time I was really stressed to the max... We booked this cruise and it was like our get away from the world time alone and we did not want anyone to know where we were... hindsight, mistake.

 

The past couple of years even though for me stress is still at high levels I have learned to let it go. Coming near death makes everything else seem so stupid and now I have learned that it is not worth it, and I dont even know what the word stress is anymore.... Off my soapbox now!!

[Brenda33]

Smooth....I let all the little things go....its those big ones that get ya going!!! lol

[smoothdancer]

If you can let the big ones go, you are golden!!!

 

My son, the one that is opening the resturant, once was a very bad herion addict.... All the family walked away, not me.... If you can live with a drug addict, you can do anything.... So sorry, I know big time stress and I now know how to say no more and do the tough love stuff.....

 

Sorry, no compassion here.. you just need to do it. Maybe M can chime in here but the best help I got was from a counsler who stopped me from being nice and taught me a lesson in tough love....

 

More than I wanted to talk about on this thread, but opened my deepest secrets to you to tell you that you too can get past it all.....

 

Jan

[PeterPaul]

Smooth: It's Menina...will explain about the change in screename one day!

 

Well, all I can say is Heroin is the WORST to get off. And if he's walking in recovery with a strong relapse prevention program it can be done.

 

Tough love: It's better to have someone tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. There was an I love Lucy episode years ago where Lucy decided she was going to be honest and tell people what she thought..and wow were people surprised when she told them her real opinion's about a certain outfit,etc. I think the problem is people don't want to face reality because reality is too painful and people don't like to face pain.

 

Dieting..we are all busy people..I work horrific hours every week plus driving and 2 university classes...so I pack in about 60 hours per week. But when I wanted to lose weight, I learned that I had to suck it up and force myself to do some things...like get a housecleaner..or spend 2 hours on sunday preparing lunches/dinner for the week and taking it with me. Sometimes I had to spend more money for convenience but losing weight was important and when something is important you make it a priority.

 

Respiratory therapist: Sorry but you get no sympathy from me. I work as a dr. in a hospital part time, am involved in 2 university clases, have an office, and also supervise a reserach program in the middle of the Everglades..my hours rival yours..but if you want to lose the weight, you have to suck it up and make adjustments somehow. My commuting can be as much as 4.5 hours round trip in a day. If I get stuck in traffic, I bail out and head to a gym in my chain. It's all about adjustments. It's VERY hard, but it can be done. You just have to suck it up and do it because you forfeit your right to complain unless you make changes. You're the one who decides what to put in your mouth, in the end. You're the one that decides if you want to eat 5 twinkies for dinner and trash your body becaused you're tired, or take 10 minutes to eat something healthy. You have to be a model for your patients. I bet a lot of your patients have breathing problems associated with being fat, aside from illness, no? You don't want to be like them do you?

 

Ok...I'm tired..a little more work then home to bed.

 

 

 

If you can let the big ones go, you are golden!!!

 

My son, the one that is opening the resturant, once was a very bad herion addict.... All the family walked away, not me.... If you can live with a drug addict, you can do anything.... So sorry, I know big time stress and I now know how to say no more and do the tough love stuff.....

 

Sorry, no compassion here.. you just need to do it. Maybe M can chime in here but the best help I got was from a counsler who stopped me from being nice and taught me a lesson in tough love....

 

More than I wanted to talk about on this thread, but opened my deepest secrets to you to tell you that you too can get past it all.....

 

Jan

[smoothdancer]

M, no one knows better than me what it takes to get off of herion....

 

They told me at the rehab center that only 1% makes is through the first time. For my son he was so ready to kick it and he did, 3 years later he is drug free, one of the few.... I cant tell you however what total hell I went through and how thankful I am for the people there who taught me how to help my son by walking away... This tough love is so hard but I am convinced that it was my tough love that saved him.... I am so grateful that they kicked my ass to help him....

 

The counslers taught me how to leave my son in jail when all I wanted to do was post a 1K bail.... It hurt so much to go to prison , I was strip seached just to see him and I never told my husband( step dad) what I did and what they did to me.... In the end, he came out OK.....

 

He moved out of state, is quite healthy and drug free.... He is one of the lucky ones, me too...... I still miss him quite a bit but he is OK, I am OK.... so is life.....

[Chigirlcruzin]

Wow, Smooth, you're a really strong person. I'm happy for both you and your son that he's drug free and is forging ahead with his life.

 

As usual, I agree with Menina in her advice to the respiratory therapist. I used my job as an excuse to not exercise (too busy, working too hard and too tired, traveling too much, etc). Then I read a blurb from our CEO (I work for a Fortune 50 company) about how he works out at least 4 days a week. OK, my excuses suck! He's way busier than I am. Once you start, you'll be fine. I'm almost addicted to it now! And I agree with Brenda - it really doesn't matter when you eat. Ultimately, it's calories in vs calories out. Listen to your body. Eat when you're hungry, but make sensible choices.

 

They're inducing my sister on Thursday at 4, a week before her due date because he's over 8 pounds. I can't wait to have a nephew! Today was her last day at work - I need to find a new lunch buddy for the next 3 months! One of her coworkers was commenting to her about my weight loss yesterday and my sis said I'm her inspiration to get rid of the baby weight!

[Brenda33]

Smooth....I can't begin to tell you how happy I am that things worked out for your son. YOU are a very strong woman to go through such an ordeal and handle it the way you did. Congrats to BOTH of you on your accomplishments in the situation. I was involved witha cocaine addict years ago......I saw him through rehab, etc. A week after he came home he was doing it again. So, I do know the odds.

 

Leslie.....Good luck to your sister. Keep us all posted.

 

Have a great day!!!

[PeterPaul]

Smooth: Think of it this way: If your helping is hurting, it's enabling! I think it's hard when you are a parent, you feel false guilt over leaving them in jail but how can people face their inner mental crap if they are always being rescued, or not being told the truth? I think that's why I am so direct and people don't like it. They don't want to face reality sometimes because it hurts.

 

Well believe it or not I'm thinking of a cruise. Have been on 3, haven't been on one since 2004 and am thinking of taking one, but maybe on a small more intimate line. I am going to London on a working vacation at the airforce base in August, my brother wants me to come to Brazil, and my darling wants me to visit him in Asia when the ship is docked. Maybe I should just say screw it and take the cruise!

 

M, no one knows better than me what it takes to get off of herion....

 

They told me at the rehab center that only 1% makes is through the first time. For my son he was so ready to kick it and he did, 3 years later he is drug free, one of the few.... I cant tell you however what total hell I went through and how thankful I am for the people there who taught me how to help my son by walking away... This tough love is so hard but I am convinced that it was my tough love that saved him.... I am so grateful that they kicked my ass to help him....

 

The counslers taught me how to leave my son in jail when all I wanted to do was post a 1K bail.... It hurt so much to go to prison , I was strip seached just to see him and I never told my husband( step dad) what I did and what they did to me.... In the end, he came out OK.....

 

He moved out of state, is quite healthy and drug free.... He is one of the lucky ones, me too...... I still miss him quite a bit but he is OK, I am OK.... so is life.....

[smoothdancer]

This was quite some time ago, he completed the rehab program about 3 years ago, but unlike you I am not by nature a direct person. After this was all over I have told people that one of the hardest things I ever did in my life was to walk away and leave my son in jail, and yet also one of the best things I ever did. Now I am pretty certain that it was this decision that saved his life.

 

During the rehab process which was about 7 months and he lived at the center, as a person, I grew quite a bit..... My son is from a previous marriage and my husband just could not deal with it, I understood and I went down this road alone. I never discussed this with anyone and it was the counslers that set me on the right path and I am still very greatful to them.

 

I dont know how we went from weight loss to this but I guess it is after all these life expereinces who makes us who we are. I mean of course I would of preferred that he never did drugs to begin with but there was growing from it for me and I do apply these lessons to a lot of areas of my life today, including weight loss and exercise. LOL, it is also a bench mark for me when I have stress in my life. I ask myself is this as bad as back then and I always come up with "no"!!!

[PeterPaul]

As I'm sure your son will tell you from his experience, the 12 steps are really a life management program..and those steps apply to losing weight too.

 

I have done very well on my eating the last week. I am supervising a research project in the middle of the everglades involving preschoolers...lovely country people, dirt poor but very loving. The center director bought us lunch...oh my gosh, Brenda you'd be in hog heaven. We had dixie fried chicken, french fries, mashed potatoes (made with real butter) and GRAVY, and coleslaw. Talk about Stroke on a Plate! I ate one piece of chicken, a small spoon of potatos, no fries, small spoon of coleslaw. I wish my stomach was hurting so I'd never eat that again but unfortuantely my stomach was quite happy. I also drank a gallon of water tonite! Last week we had fresh fish caught from the lake and turnip greens. There are tons of produce stands out there too so I can load up for the ride home.

 

This was quite some time ago, he completed the rehab program about 3 years ago, but unlike you I am not by nature a direct person. After this was all over I have told people that one of the hardest things I ever did in my life was to walk away and leave my son in jail, and yet also one of the best things I ever did. Now I am pretty certain that it was this decision that saved his life.

 

During the rehab process which was about 7 months and he lived at the center, as a person, I grew quite a bit..... My son is from a previous marriage and my husband just could not deal with it, I understood and I went down this road alone. I never discussed this with anyone and it was the counslers that set me on the right path and I am still very greatful to them.

 

I dont know how we went from weight loss to this but I guess it is after all these life expereinces who makes us who we are. I mean of course I would of preferred that he never did drugs to begin with but there was growing from it for me and I do apply these lessons to a lot of areas of my life today, including weight loss and exercise. LOL, it is also a bench mark for me when I have stress in my life. I ask myself is this as bad as back then and I always come up with "no"!!!

[happysinglemom]

This was quite some time ago, he completed the rehab program about 3 years ago, but unlike you I am not by nature a direct person. After this was all over I have told people that one of the hardest things I ever did in my life was to walk away and leave my son in jail, and yet also one of the best things I ever did. Now I am pretty certain that it was this decision that saved his life.

 

During the rehab process which was about 7 months and he lived at the center, as a person, I grew quite a bit..... My son is from a previous marriage and my husband just could not deal with it, I understood and I went down this road alone. I never discussed this with anyone and it was the counslers that set me on the right path and I am still very greatful to them.

 

I dont know how we went from weight loss to this but I guess it is after all these life expereinces who makes us who we are. I mean of course I would of preferred that he never did drugs to begin with but there was growing from it for me and I do apply these lessons to a lot of areas of my life today, including weight loss and exercise. LOL, it is also a bench mark for me when I have stress in my life. I ask myself is this as bad as back then and I always come up with "no"!!!

 

You're a strong woman Smooth. Smart too. You've have turned a very difficult and emotional experience into a positive life lesson. Kudos!!

[smoothdancer]

Thank you Happy!

 

Hey M.... Sincey you will be in London how about boarding the QM2 for a transatlantic from SouthHampton to NYC... Although not by any means an intimate liner!

[misty57]

Respiratory Therapist:

 

I understand your struggle with weight loss. It's a little different to be 54 and having the schedule that you do, plus the long shifts and being a single parent. I am the same height and started at about your weight also. I'm 50, but can tell the difference between losing weight in my 30's and now. I believe that what is stressful for one person isn't for another. I'm a nurse in a large hospital, and work with many therapists. I know how difficult their job can be.... no matter what you're doing someone is calling and wants you NOW! Some of the best leave for other jobs or even other careers. I know you can get a handle on your goals though.... maybe weight watchers online and an excercise video so you can schedule your workouts according to your schedule. I would love to have the ability to run to the gym but there are no gyms close to my home and I commute 1hr each way so it is too late by the time I get home too. There is a curves nearby,( 15 miles) but it's closed by the time I get there and that type of program doesn't appeal to me( I think it is the layout of the room that turns me off) , so I do workouts at home. In fact... I better get to that right now:D ( It's my day off so I take advantage of that when I can). I just wanted to give you some encouragement and say thanks for the job you do.. don't know what we would do without our therapists ;) ( and even if the MDs don't admit it, they depend on them too!)

[Chigirlcruzin]

My sister is in labor...on her own!

[happysinglemom]

My sister is in labor...on her own!

 

Woo hoo!! Congrats in order yet?:)

[Chigirlcruzin]

No, not yet. So they were going to induce her yesterday at 4 because he's big. Around noon she called and said she was having contractions 10 minutes apart...then 8...then 7...then 5. She went to the hospital when she had contractions 5 min apart for an hour (at 2), but she wasn't dilated at all when she got there - not eve 1/2 cm. I was planning on going to the hospital after my workout, but my mom called when I was working out and said it doesn't look like the baby's coming soon - she and my dad were leaving the hospital to go stay with my sister's dog - don't come to the hospital. I talked to my sister around 6:45, and they gave her a very low dose of Pitocin, and her contractions were 4 min apart, and they were getting more intense. I talked to my mom around 8, and the contractions were 3 min apart, and they were planning on giving her more Pitocin at 11, and at that point they'd check on her dilation. I told my sister to tell her hubby to call with any update no matter the time. Slept with my cell phone right next to me, but I haven't hear anything. I hope he comes today!

[Brenda33]

Wow...your poor sister. Keep us updated. I hope all goes well and she doesn't have too bad a labor.

[Chigirlcruzin]

Me too :) One of my friends said she wouldn't want to be any where near that delivery room...my sister has a LOW pain threshold. She'll be fine though...she has a really good attitude.

[Chigirlcruzin]

She's been at 8 cm since 4 am. As of 9:30 CDT, she's still at 8 cm. They're giving her until 11:30 before doing a c-section.

[smoothdancer]

Oh your poor sis, she must be so tired! My first child I too had a very long labor and can feel for her.

[Chigirlcruzin]

She said it actually wasn't too bad. They went in around 10:45 and still no more progress, so they decided to do the c-section then. At 11:39, she gave birth to an 8 pound 12 ounce boy, 21 inches long! I'm leaving work shortly to go see my nephew!

[Brenda33]

Leslie, Congrats to your sister!!

[smoothdancer]

Big baby! Congrads!

[happysinglemom]

Man that's a big boy!! Congratulations to your sis, and you too, auntie!! :p