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Okay, fil is giving us a wonderful gift of a cruise. I am very grateful. We are seasoned cruisers - here is the issue. At the time of our cruise - our twins will be 15 months and our oldest will be three years old. FIL has said he wants adjoining cabins - oceanview. I really would like a balcony. We are going on Carnival - and I know I will be spending most of my time in the cabin. We took my oldest when he was 13 months and he ended up taking 3 naps a day when he was normally down to one or two. Carnival doesn't have in-cabin babysitting and you can't take kids under 2 to Camp Carnival for babysitting until 10 PM - past their bedtime and mine too. I have no delusions we will be able to eat in the dining room - definitely not every night if we ever get a meal there at all. We are going on a 7 night cruise. I LOVE parenting, so being in the room a lot isn't an issue for me. But, it would be nice to be able to enjoy my meals on the balcony while the kids are sleeping. Oh yea, add to that my twins are currently breastfed and they may or may not be weaned by the cruise - so again I will could possibly be spending even more time in the cabin for nursing.

Should I suck it up and enjoy the free gift or offer to pay for the upgrade to a balcony. Is that too rude?

I just knew having a balcony was great with my oldest and the extra room really was needed - we stored his toys out there, plus his inflatable bathtub we used in the shower. The inlaws "think" my oldest will be in their cabin - but us mommas know that isn't going to happen. No way will my ds sleep in a different cabin, even if they left the adjoining door open.

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Okay, fil is giving us a wonderful gift of a cruise. I am very grateful. We are seasoned cruisers - here is the issue. At the time of our cruise - our twins will be 15 months and our oldest will be three years old. FIL has said he wants adjoining cabins - oceanview. I really would like a balcony. We are going on Carnival - and I know I will be spending most of my time in the cabin. We took my oldest when he was 13 months and he ended up taking 3 naps a day when he was normally down to one or two. Carnival doesn't have in-cabin babysitting and you can't take kids under 2 to Camp Carnival for babysitting until 10 PM - past their bedtime and mine too. I have no delusions we will be able to eat in the dining room - definitely not every night if we ever get a meal there at all. We are going on a 7 night cruise. I LOVE parenting, so being in the room a lot isn't an issue for me. But, it would be nice to be able to enjoy my meals on the balcony while the kids are sleeping. Oh yea, add to that my twins are currently breastfed and they may or may not be weaned by the cruise - so again I will could possibly be spending even more time in the cabin for nursing.

Should I suck it up and enjoy the free gift or offer to pay for the upgrade to a balcony. Is that too rude?

I just knew having a balcony was great with my oldest and the extra room really was needed - we stored his toys out there, plus his inflatable bathtub we used in the shower. The inlaws "think" my oldest will be in their cabin - but us mommas know that isn't going to happen. No way will my ds sleep in a different cabin, even if they left the adjoining door open.

 

 

I would offer to pay for the upgrade and explain why :)

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As above poster said, you could offer to pay for the upgrade to a balcony and explain why, but then on the other hand, with adjoining OV rooms your inlaws will probably be more comfortable with babysitting and letting you and hubby enjoy an evening or two. If the kids are sleeping in an adjoining room the inlaws can rest easy in their own beds.

 

I'm not trying to assume the inlaws will be babysitting, I'm thinking of the same situation some friends had. It worked for them with adjoining cabins as the inlaws wanted to go back to their cabins fairly early in the evening and of course had no problem and insisted that while the toddler was sleeping that mom and dad go have a nice evening. They were comfortable in their own bed reading, watching t.v. and the like and even fall asleep when they wanted. Toddler was safe and sound a few feet away.

 

I understand your reasons for wanting the balcony, but if your inlaws do offer to babysit that would mean them having to stay up etc. until you came back. Just a thought.:)

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Okay, fil is giving us a wonderful gift of a cruise. I am very grateful. We are seasoned cruisers - here is the issue. At the time of our cruise - our twins will be 15 months and our oldest will be three years old. FIL has said he wants adjoining cabins - oceanview. I really would like a balcony. We are going on Carnival - and I know I will be spending most of my time in the cabin. We took my oldest when he was 13 months and he ended up taking 3 naps a day when he was normally down to one or two. Carnival doesn't have in-cabin babysitting and you can't take kids under 2 to Camp Carnival for babysitting until 10 PM - past their bedtime and mine too. I have no delusions we will be able to eat in the dining room - definitely not every night if we ever get a meal there at all. We are going on a 7 night cruise. I LOVE parenting, so being in the room a lot isn't an issue for me. But, it would be nice to be able to enjoy my meals on the balcony while the kids are sleeping. Oh yea, add to that my twins are currently breastfed and they may or may not be weaned by the cruise - so again I will could possibly be spending even more time in the cabin for nursing.

Should I suck it up and enjoy the free gift or offer to pay for the upgrade to a balcony. Is that too rude?

I just knew having a balcony was great with my oldest and the extra room really was needed - we stored his toys out there, plus his inflatable bathtub we used in the shower. The inlaws "think" my oldest will be in their cabin - but us mommas know that isn't going to happen. No way will my ds sleep in a different cabin, even if they left the adjoining door open.

 

 

Your oldest is 3 and he can't sleep with his grandparents???? I guess I am very lucky! I am a grandmother and my son and his wife let me keep my grandson every weekend. Who better to keep him if they want to go to a movie or something? They know he is loved and spoiled while he is with us and nothing bad will happen to him. :)

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Your oldest is 3 and he can't sleep with his grandparents???? I guess I am very lucky! I am a grandmother and my son and his wife let me keep my grandson every weekend. Who better to keep him if they want to go to a movie or something? They know he is loved and spoiled while he is with us and nothing bad will happen to him. :)

 

 

That sounds like us; our grandkids BEG to stay over and sleep with us and when we went on a family cruise we had to make the kids take turns; all four wanted to sleep with us at once!

 

To the OP, I understand completely why you want a balcony cabin with kids the ages of yours. As to offering to pay the extra for one, only you know how your FIL will take this; everyone's personality is different. If it was me, as the grandparent, I would be more than happy to do this. Of course, I probably would never cruise without a balcony myself, either.

 

If you think his feelings will be hurt, or he will be upset, you might have to forgo the balcony this time. This is a great, and expensive, gift he is giving you--been there, done that.

 

If he's more laid back and understanding, go ahead and ask--better yet, have your husband, his son, do the suggesting. Whatever happens, have fun and go with the flow. Let the grandparents help as much as they want to or can.

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Your oldest is 3 and he can't sleep with his grandparents???? I guess I am very lucky! I am a grandmother and my son and his wife let me keep my grandson every weekend. Who better to keep him if they want to go to a movie or something? They know he is loved and spoiled while he is with us and nothing bad will happen to him. :)

 

We don't live near the grandparents - so my kids don't know them as well. My oldest didn't see fil for 11 months one time. Since the twins were born we try to see each other more often.

Also, traveling with 3 children so young is a burden only a mom and dad should take on. For instance, my oldest took one to two extra naps when we cruised with him at the age the twins will be. If everyone doesn't fall asleep at the same time, and all 3 add a nap - we are talking 5 - 6 hours during the day in the room with at least one sleeping child.

I am a huge planner and try to anticipate the worse that could happen. We learned a lot on our cruise with my oldest.

We definitely understand the joys of having family watch the kids - one of my cousin's works as our nanny and only family members are babysitters when we go out - which isn't often. We just try to soak up family time as much as possible and treasure each moment while they are little so when they are teenagers- we can at least look back on their childhood with pleasure:D . Plus, if it were a shorter cruise it wouldn't be an issue - but I don't see the grandparents wanting a toddler in their room for 7 nights.

Plus - history has taught us a lesson. We went with the in laws (including a sil) as well as my mom on the cruise with my oldest (we even paid for my mom to go) and not one person babysat my ds for us. My mil had said she would, but she ended up getting sick so that wasn't her fault. My mom got caught up in cruising (it was her first) and didn't have time for a kiddo. My sil and fil enjoyed drinking - so really weren't in a position to watch a little one. Mulitply that by 3 kids now! But, I am not complaining. We are taking 2 portable DVD players - so I should be able to snag at least one when the kids are sleeping. I am taking lots of movies I have wanted to see - just haven't had time. We are also taking the laptop and will pay for wireless acess - so I will be able to play online. Not having to cook, clean, and go to work will be vacation enough for me:D :D :D

It would be nice to be able to escape out to a balcony though.

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We don't live near the grandparents - so my kids don't know them as well. My oldest didn't see fil for 11 months one time. Since the twins were born we try to see each other more often.

Also, traveling with 3 children so young is a burden only a mom and dad should take on. For instance, my oldest took one to two extra naps when we cruised with him at the age the twins will be. If everyone doesn't fall asleep at the same time, and all 3 add a nap - we are talking 5 - 6 hours during the day in the room with at least one sleeping child.

I am a huge planner and try to anticipate the worse that could happen. We learned a lot on our cruise with my oldest.

We definitely understand the joys of having family watch the kids - one of my cousin's works as our nanny and only family members are babysitters when we go out - which isn't often. We just try to soak up family time as much as possible and treasure each moment while they are little so when they are teenagers- we can at least look back on their childhood with pleasure:D . Plus, if it were a shorter cruise it wouldn't be an issue - but I don't see the grandparents wanting a toddler in their room for 7 nights.

Plus - history has taught us a lesson. We went with the in laws (including a sil) as well as my mom on the cruise with my oldest (we even paid for my mom to go) and not one person babysat my ds for us. My mil had said she would, but she ended up getting sick so that wasn't her fault. My mom got caught up in cruising (it was her first) and didn't have time for a kiddo. My sil and fil enjoyed drinking - so really weren't in a position to watch a little one. Mulitply that by 3 kids now! But, I am not complaining. We are taking 2 portable DVD players - so I should be able to snag at least one when the kids are sleeping. I am taking lots of movies I have wanted to see - just haven't had time. We are also taking the laptop and will pay for wireless acess - so I will be able to play online. Not having to cook, clean, and go to work will be vacation enough for me:D :D :D

It would be nice to be able to escape out to a balcony though.

 

 

Well you know your situation, as no one else does. I am a planner too, so I understand. But I have learned over the years, no amount of planning is ever enough.. lol. I plan and plan... and then go with the flow.

 

Tell your inlaws you need a balcony cabin and why... and pay for the upgrade yourself. If FIL is not drinking one night... and they want to take your oldest, let them. If they offer to watch all of them, so you and your DH can have an evening alone... let them. This is a memory making vacation for all of you, including your oldest.

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DH & I (grandparents who take family on cruises) had a lively discussion about your situation. Here are our thoughts:

1. Smile, thank your FIL and enjoy what you have been given. This is our top choice by far!

2. Smile, thank your FIL and ask if you could enhance the trip even more by offering to pay for the upgrade. It would be your gift to a very special person. If he says no, then say how delighted you are to be cruising with him and let the subject drop immediately.

 

Sometimes the way you pose your suggestion is more important than the why. As others have said, you know your FIL far better than any of us. You will need to make your own best judgement. Whatever you decide, I hope everyone in the family has a wonderful experience!

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Not sure when you plan on booking but Carnival just sent a promotion for past guests (are you?) for free 2 room upgrade...I threw it out so I'm unsure of the details but it may help you out here...I think you need to booked sometime before May 10th, noth really sure though...just a thought.....otherwise I say explain to your fil and I bet it'll be fine...

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Explain to FIL, offer to pay for upgrade. We just booked our cruise on carnival and the upgrade from oceanview to balcony was an extra $70 per person. Not really a bank breaker. I have a daughter and we both enjoy an afternoon nap so I wanted a balcony to get some fresh sea air.

 

You may want to consider a child gate for the door with 2 sub-toddlers.

 

(Also, I find balcony rooms offer better 3rd beds for kids than oceanview rooms...e.g. the sofa is under the window so the sofa tends to be against a wall along with the bed.)

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I wouldn't make an issue out of it with your in laws. They have been kind enough to offer this gift, and if you try to upgrade it would be as if you don't think their offer was good enough.

 

I understand your desire for a balcony, but you should be happy with what you were given. And with the money that you've saved by not having to pay for this vacation, you can plan another cruise (in a balcony) for just your DH and you when the twins are a little older!

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If you decide to offer to pay for an upgrade, I would NOT give the real reasons unless you really think they'll be open to it without getting hurt feelings. Although you are right that the balcony is more convenient for your situation, those reasons don't justify risking hurt feelings. Them paying for a cruise is very generous. Telling them it's not good enough (really what you're saying when you get down to it) is anything but.

 

The reason I'd state is wanting to reciprocate their generosity and while you can't afford to pay to take everyone on another cruise, you can pay to upgrade the cabins to balconies to spoil them. This should be about you doing something nice for them - period. If they don't want it. Suck it up and take the outside.

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I have retired parents. Every year they take the entire family on a trip. One year my son couldn't go because of school and I roomed with my sister. My parents got a suite and we had a balcony stateroom.

 

My sister went to their stateroom and said "Boy, our cabin is puny." I was so angry with her. You don't look a gift horse in the mouth. I don't know if my parents were hurt. I was angry that she didn't appreciate that we had a free- all expense paid cruise!

 

If you change cabins- that would be a slap in the face IMO. The parents aren't going to say anything. They will be hurt nonetheless.

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