I want to...too expensive for guests?

[esbie11]

I actually wasn't put off by the OP's comment. Being part of another forum specifically for destination weddings, I hear many many girls dealing with family members who are constantly giving them a hard time about every aspect of their wedding. They complain about the money, the time off of work, the hassel of traveling, having to get a passport, etc. Then they are told that they have to get married during as certain week so cousin Jimmy won't have to miss school, or during another week because Aunt Alice already had plans during the week the cruise was planned. I don't know what the OP's experience has been, but there are some really nagging-type family members out there who would make one feel as though it is "their loss" if they can't come...and in some cases, I bet the bride would prefer they don't. It is shocking how un-supportive some families can be:eek:

[Cattie]

I've personally gone through the "family issues" At this point, I have the important people going. If the others decide to go, great, if not, I really don't care.

 

If it was one of my family members getting married, I'd do everything I could to go. The response I received from people was, nah, we won't be attending. That is when I say, oh well your loss. Some have given the "I'd love to be there, but we simply just can't afford it" and I totally understand. Money is tight now a days, and I wish I could pay there way, but we can't.

 

Keep in mind, print has no emotion. The poster may not mean for something to be taken the way you are, so take a step back and reread it.

[MalibuBarbie]

I can understand wanting to pay for some people who would otherwise unattend and I think if you are financially able to, you should. My question is who is really going to know if you help some people out? I might be paying for my kids to go if they can get off of school and I can't imagine anyone (family or otherwise) asking me if I paid for them. Wouldn't most people just assume that everyone was paying their own way? If I paid for my sister, I couldn't see, say an aunt of mine, asking me or my sister who paid for her trip??? A friend of mine is getting married on a cruise and I know she has to pay for her sister to go because it is important to her that she be there. I am going and paying my own fare and I don't feel slighted because she is helping her sister.

 

I am one that is feeling the pressure of family and their "demands" on my wedding/cruise planning and I can completely understand the OP "it's your loss" statement. I am pretty certain that it was not meant in a mean spirited way----it's kind of a destination bride slang term meaning that some people will always find something to complain about and a destination bride has to take it in stride or she will never have the wedding that they want without alot of tears and/or a loss of their sanity.

Barbie

[mr6479]

My fiance and I are getting married aboard the Carnival Ecstasy on 1-24-09. Luckily we live in the DFW area and our guests can drive to Galveston versus flying. We chose to have an in port wedding in the Port of Galveston so that our guests who could not afford to cruise would be able to drive down to Galveston and go to the wedding anyway. We have 45 sailing guests and about 20 non-sailing guests. We haven't run across anyone that is bitter that we chose to do it this way. This is way more affordable than a true destination wedding where people have to pay airfare and all-inclusive resort fees.

[PrettyHazardous]

Hello Everyone

I'm soo glad someone posted on this subject as I've been scared to ask but am going through the same situation:confused:. What we actually plan to do is bc we're paying for the wedding ourselves (no help from family bc we want them to just be able to focus on paying for the cruise) we are only considering helping out the members of the bridal party bc we really need them to be there. We may also assist a few family member by paying directly to our PVP. Howeverr we are not offering to pay for anyone up front, and we are not paying any deposits. If they ever come to us with concerns we'll gladly help, but we're giving everyone $$ on thier sign and sail cards. Ultimately we are budgeting $$ to help ppl out as a line item on our wedding budget. Our Pre Marital counselor said that we should pay for our parents but our parents feel that they are financially stable enough to pay for themselves...

 

Futhermore I get the whole "it's their loss thing" but I don't neccessarily agree with it, for me... I love everyone I'm inviting and truly feel that it'd be MY LOSS if they aren't there. But I do understand that I picked my dream cruise for my dream wedding and unfortunately my dream isn't necessarily theirs. So I'll wholeheartedly miss whoever isn't there. But I made that decision when I decided to get married on a cruise and not a home. I'll live (but I do silently hope that every single person I invited can come and pay for themselves hahaha:D)

[setsail09]

I had always wanted a cruise wedding and was very reluctant due to the fact that everyone may not be able to afford it and I can't afford to pay for everyone. Then someone told me this is not just your wedding(takes place on ship in port before ship sails) it is a 7 day vacation for anyone that chooses to go. She said if you think about it you wouldn't feel obligated to pay for anyone's vacation if you were not getting married, so why should this be any different. After looking at it that way, I decided to call each person and ask for their input as to if they would be interested in going(paying their own way) and what dates were best, also where would they like to go as it is a vacation for them. We booked everything based on the input we received. We leave in a few months and have over 30 booked and only a few that have recently decided they could not make it. Which we understood as times are tough right now.

[vannagreen]

I actually wasn't put off by the OP's comment. Being part of another forum specifically for destination weddings, I hear many many girls dealing with family members who are constantly giving them a hard time about every aspect of their wedding. They complain about the money, the time off of work, the hassel of traveling, having to get a passport, etc. Then they are told that they have to get married during as certain week so cousin Jimmy won't have to miss school, or during another week because Aunt Alice already had plans during the week the cruise was planned. I don't know what the OP's experience has been, but there are some really nagging-type family members out there who would make one feel as though it is "their loss" if they can't come...and in some cases, I bet the bride would prefer they don't. It is shocking how un-supportive some families can be:eek:

 

I totally agree with you... Planning a wedding (destination or land based) around dates that please family members are frustrating. I originally wanted to have our cruise wedding happen during May (since rates where MUCH cheaper) but when I brought up the idea a lot of my family and friends said they could only go if it was in July (most expensive time)...I explained the how the price goes up during the peak months, but a year ago they all insisted it be July and were fine with paying more. Fast forward to today.... half of the people who wanted to go in July now are complaining about costs and some have decided they are not going to be coming at all because it is "too expensive"! Even though a year ago they all wanted to go during the peak time!:cool::cool::confused::cool: