I think I messed up... what now?

[SayingIDo]

In May my boyfriend and I decided to get another couple to go on a cruise and get married while we were gone. Sort of a planned elopement. And that was great until he let the cat out of the bag with his mother who demanded that she come. At the time we weren't engaged. I have since been given a beautiful engagement ring and my fiance opted to invite several friends and family. Heres the issue... I didn't send out invitations because it was a small, personal event at first and then once it became a "real wedding" I just assumed most people wouldn't care to attend because it is quite an expensive trip. Since then (2 months ago) a lot of people have said they are going. However they haven't booked anything. Only 6 of us are booked. How do I go about telling people that if it isn't booked by Sept then they aren't going because I am turning my guest list in and getting everything done??? I don't want to hurt his familys feelings, but I know my family cannot afford to attend so it is mainly his friends and family holding us up.

Thanks,

Trish

[Fantasy_Bride]

Tell them exactly what you said in your post. If they get upset who cares. They should know that there are timelines and due dates. It is the same procedure if you were having a land based wedding with caterers. If people get upset with you for telling them the due dates, then they never had your best interest at heart. I told all of my guests that if they can't give me definite answers, they weren't going to be placed on my guest list. It may seem harsh, but people have to honor timelines. If they haven't booked by now, chances are that they won't. Enjoy these planning days, and don't let it stress you out.

[sas80]

In May my boyfriend and I decided to get another couple to go on a cruise and get married while we were gone. Sort of a planned elopement. And that was great until he let the cat out of the bag with his mother who demanded that she come. At the time we weren't engaged. I have since been given a beautiful engagement ring and my fiance opted to invite several friends and family. Heres the issue... I didn't send out invitations because it was a small, personal event at first and then once it became a "real wedding" I just assumed most people wouldn't care to attend because it is quite an expensive trip. Since then (2 months ago) a lot of people have said they are going. However they haven't booked anything. Only 6 of us are booked. How do I go about telling people that if it isn't booked by Sept then they aren't going because I am turning my guest list in and getting everything done??? I don't want to hurt his familys feelings, but I know my family cannot afford to attend so it is mainly his friends and family holding us up.

Thanks,

Trish

 

Put together a newsletter and send it out. Make it fun and festive. Announce your plans, invite the recipients to join you, list the details, prices and cut off dates. Make sure recipients understand that the deadline for the guest list is non-negotiable and that the date is mandated by home land security.

[6rugrats]

In May my boyfriend and I decided to get another couple to go on a cruise and get married while we were gone. Sort of a planned elopement. And that was great until he let the cat out of the bag with his mother who demanded that she come. At the time we weren't engaged. I have since been given a beautiful engagement ring and my fiance opted to invite several friends and family. Heres the issue... I didn't send out invitations because it was a small, personal event at first and then once it became a "real wedding" I just assumed most people wouldn't care to attend because it is quite an expensive trip. Since then (2 months ago) a lot of people have said they are going. However they haven't booked anything. Only 6 of us are booked. How do I go about telling people that if it isn't booked by Sept then they aren't going because I am turning my guest list in and getting everything done??? I don't want to hurt his familys feelings, but I know my family cannot afford to attend so it is mainly his friends and family holding us up.

Thanks,

Trish

 

You didn't mess up. You decided basically to elope, and then your fiance "invited people" (not sure what invited means). I am reading from your post that you still have not planned a "real" wedding.

 

Since your fiance seems to be responsible for this misunderstanding, IMO, he should go to whomever he "invited" and let them know that they will have to make their plans ASAP and give them a date by which they must respond. Let him deal with it. If you don't hear from these people by the cut-off date, make your plans without them.

[Cruiselover7279]

I know how you feel. When my fiance and I decided to do our wedding in St Thomas we told some of our close friends and everyone was all for it and couldn't wait for me to get the pricing and now that I did all the work we are the only ones that have booked. I wish I could get some answers so I could work on the rest of the arrangements. If I dont get some answers in the next few months I will say something again. I know that it is still a while away but I like to have everything in order.

 

So I guess all I would do is send out a newsletter or email to everyone stating that you would like to wrap up your planning and get all of the numbers to ur wedding consultant. Good Luck!!!

[Slippinx12]

I don't think you messed up either. Just send everyone an email (or a newsletter if you have time... September really is just around the corner) telling them:

 

"We are so glad you are planning to join us for our wedding cruise (elopement). I just wanted to give you a heads up that the last day to put down your deposit for the cruise is September.... 2008. No bookings are allowed after that date. To put down your deposit, call xxx-xxx-xxxx. Feel free to call me with any questions you may have. Thanks!"

 

It doesn't even have to be complicated. Just something simple to let them know about the deadline and how to pay up. Maybe they didn't realize there was a deadline?

[Mary loves to travel]

Newsletter is a good idea. and the key as 6rugrats stated above is to let your fiancee "hound" his friends and family.......don't take this all on yourself.

trust me on this one.

 

Cheers,

Mary

[6rugrats]

Newsletter is a good idea. and the key as 6rugrats stated above is to let your fiancee "hound" his friends and family.......don't take this all on yourself.

trust me on this one.

 

Cheers,

Mary

 

Ah, someone else who knows!