New cruise line now forming!!!

[Danno]

Rather than buck the trend of the modern day cruise lines I have decided to establish and run my own cruise line...since I have no money I've decided to start by establishing our new cruiseline look, style, target clientel, rules etc...because this cruiseline is a figment of my imagination I get to call the shots...starting with my front office staff.

 

President for life...Danno

V.P. for a while...DJK aka DON

V.P. just because has a gun and scares me...Duck

Boss of Social events...Lois

Bar Boss...Newt

Lecture co-ordinator...Ninna (she seems to know everything)

Restaurant head honcho...Bruin Steve...(he's from the west. He must know good food)

 

We will be expanding this group as I see fit...etc

 

 

Our guidelines...

 

a) we charge a fair price while doing everything possible to keep standards high. We while regretfully raise prices rather than lower standards.

b) no cells or walkie talkies

c) proper attire or no admittance to diningroom or public rooms on specified evening

d) NO upselling on the ship...what we have to sell we will post in our daily news letter...we assume you can read and make your own decisions

e) No public announcement that are not essential

f) the price posted is what what everyone pays

g) No included tips...great service deserves MORE than 15%...poor service deserves nothing!!

h) Kids must be under the care and control of a parent at all times

 

 

....please feel free to add to this list...when I save up enough money this will be our baby!!

[Longboysfan]

Could I post for the position of Assistant Cruise Director.

 

I know how all the games are played.

I can get up early in the AM.

Work the gang way if needed.

Have my own dress up duds.

Know how to have a good time on the ship.

I've cruised all about the Caribbean.

I could handle a spot light for the big shows.

The only thing is I'm not the best dancer. Even the Macarana turns my two left feet in the wrong direction.

[Giorgi-one]

I suggest you number the guidelines, so we can track them. You stopped with h = 8.

 

9. No chair saving when you leave the pool area except for bathroom break.

10. No children in buffet lines or elevators without parents.

11. Fresh brewed coffee in dining rooms served with cream.

12. Miinimum shrimp size is 26-30 per pound.

13. Serve hot soups hot and fill the bowls.

[judyfssw]

Could I please have the position of "Queen"?

 

I just love having people wait on me.

I reply when people say good morning, welcome to our ship, etc.

I like good food and excellent service.

I try to be nice to everyone.

I would love to be in a Penthouse Suite.

I never look down on the people who try to make me happy.

I'm generous with my tips.

I'm happiest when people treat me like royalty.

 

I do think that I can meet all of the expectations for "Queen". And, I'm not snooty! :)

[Danno]

Queen?? I guess we now have a Queen!!

[kokonut]

Danno,

 

I want to be on the inaugural cruise!! I know your cruise line would be first class all the way.

 

Question - have you named the cruise line yet? If not, you should open the post up for suggestions.

 

By the way, I'd love the position of Dress Code Enforcer!! I abhor jeans on formal night!!

[DUCK33]

does a vp with a gun out rank a queen? i know 2 guns beats 4 aces but thats poker:)

[Danno]

KOKONUT...I think that job goes to DUCK...he has a gun. You can stand at the door...if they have jeans on tell DUCK, he will shoot the offender. I know it sounds extreme but these people must learn.

[alpal1993]

I volunteer to work the medical facility first aide only.I'll leave all the real medical emergencies to someoe else.

[kokonut]

KOKONUT...I think that job goes to DUCK...he has a gun. You can stand at the door...if they have jeans on tell DUCK, he will shoot the offender. I know it sounds extreme but these people must learn.

 

Danno,

 

I'll be happy with that job. Count me in!!

 

One more thing - is there a rule about bringing on suitcases full of booze? Not against someone taking wine on board - but I think cases of beer is a bit extreme.

[DUCK33]

ATTENTION!!!!!

 

emergency staff meeting to be held at the martini bar forthwith.

 

topics of discussion:

1 Booze smuggling......yes/no/how much?

2 Denim....anytime/anywhere?

3 Walkie talkies.....necessity or nussiance?

[Longboysfan]

Did you read over my application..... :confused:

 

I have feelers out to other cruise lines also and just wanted your line to get first crack at bringing me on board. ;)

[Danno]

ATTENTION!!!!!

 

emergency staff meeting to be held at the martini bar forthwith.

 

topics of discussion:

1 Booze smuggling......yes/no/how much?

2 Denim....anytime/anywhere?

3 Walkie talkies.....necessity or nussiance?

1) NO...never

2) NO...except in Alaska when departing the ship for a tour...(I don't care that you were stupid enough to pay $150 for "really nice" designer jeans...that just makes you gullible, not properly dressed)

3) NO!!!...off to the brig!!!

[charlielinda]

Since you have a Queen, I'd like to be the Princess. I just need a Royal Suite and a sea pass card that I never have to pay. That way I could have free spa treatmens, free bingo, weekly meals at the Normandy, free excursions! That's it. I'd love to on your ship.

[kokonut]

1) NO...never

2) NO...except in Alaska when departing the ship for a tour...(I don't care that you were stupid enough to pay $150 for "really nice" designer jeans...that just makes you gullible, not properly dressed)

3) NO!!!...off to the brig!!!

 

Three cheers for Danno!!!

 

We still don't have a name for your cruise line..........

[Danno]

Basketlady...

 

We don't have a "Normandy"...we provide the best meals we are capable of, in the main diningroom. We encourage large table so our pax can meet new and interesting people from all over the world...and we DON'T sell water!!!

 

 

The rest you can have...welcome aboard!!

[stretch]

Excushe me, Madammm........ (Hic)......... can I drive the boat?? (hic)

I promishhhh not to wreck itttttt.

(Hic)

Ishe -burg, what's that doing here. Full shpeee aheadd, ram that mothah down.

Stretch

[Danno]

Sorry Stretch...ANY displays of public drunkeness will get you confined to your cabin, or, DUCK can shoot you.

 

Actually we don't have a captain yet...any suggestions. Stretch, don't bother filling out the app..

[stretch]

Ok, how about bar manager??? I'm very well qualified.

Stretch

[ABoatNerd]

Danno, excellent thread.

 

In reality, I would point out the "new cruiseline" is alot like Crystal!

 

I offer the following name for your cruiseline..."THE CLASS AND DECORUM LINE" - that automatically will scare off (hopefully) the following groups:

 

1) Freestyle folks

2) "I will do what I want"

3) "Other passengers do not affect my vacation"

4) Parents with their out of control kids and young adults

5) Adults who exhibit rude, inconsiderate, loud behavior

6) Casual dressing preference

 

Individuals from 1) to 6) have other cruise lines to patronize where they will feel happy and fulfilled.

 

People who prefer a formal, quiet, decorum environment will also be satisfied.

 

Seems a win/win to me

 

Kindest Regards from ABoatNerd - XSnob

[gkm]

Danno, can I apply for the job of passenger? I promise to be well-behaved, dressed appropriately, always smiling, cordial, and appreciative of all of you on the staff.:D Garry

[kjunea]

I would like to apply to run the Children's Program.... 20 years of teaching middle school has made me more than ready, willing and able to take care of these lovely, lovely, kiddies.

 

1. Lots of activities

2. Babysitters provided, no charge -- just tip as you see fit.

3. Children supervised on elevators, etc.

4. special swim times just for kids.

5. no kids in pool with diapers, swim kind or other kind

 

Can I have beepers to beep parents whose children are uncontrollable? Also, I will need a childsize "brig", suitable for timeouts.

[Lois R]

Hi Dan:)

 

Social Director?:eek: ......I would be directing everyone to where the food and drink are located:D

Garry....you can Co-Chair that one with me:D

[Danno]

Can I have beepers to beep parents whose children are uncontrollable?

 

 

Actually we have those now...rather than beepers which may annoy other pax...we have remote control activated TAZERS (sp?)...the wires are attached to the parents forearm when they leave Jr. in the capable hands of KJUNEA...tell me now they don't have a vested interest in seeing that their kid behaves!!

 

Garry...I don't think passenger can be a job :confused: . How about VP in charge of customer happiness...first thing you get to do is tell them our Cruise Director is NOT perky...and won't use the same "we lose more shower curtain's that way" line on the final evening!! That should to make them happy!!

[kjunea]

I've been trying to get a tazer for years to use with my kids (that or a cattle prod)!

 

This will be such a fun ship!!