what is the wildest,craziest thing you've ever seen on a cruise?

[smrtypnts]

Love the thread, Read it all today.

 

First Cruise, my wife and I were on the the upper level of the tender leaving the private island to go back to the ship. I learned then that since you will never see the people around you again, you can wear almost anything. A VERY elderly woman was wearing a very small bikini that looked more like a one piece. Only about an inch of skin existed between the waist of the bottoms and the top. :eek: After getting over seeing 2 very small strips of cloth running horizontally you notice 4 vertical lines that went from where her chest was supposed to be and where it landed. Never been surprised by anything on a cruise since.:)

 

You lost me on this one. First you say the bikini was very small, then you go on to say that there's only 1" of skin between the top of the bottom and the bottom of the top. Sounds more like a 2-piece to me. Then you go on to say you saw 2 very small strips running horozontally and 4 strips running vertically. I just can't get a picture of this.:confused:

[Golf18aday]

These have been great. Just thinking about a couple of these I still crack up.

Can you count having your fly down when having your picture taken with the Captain ? DW will not let me forget that one.

[beijobeijo]

i was dancing up in the club one night with this sweet guy on the Ledgend , and suddenly , every one is running to to windows, we look over, and we see ( its 2 am ish) a couple getting it on in the hottub , totaly nude. We start laughing, till my dance date yells " thats my baby sister!" his sister was my age( 16 at the time). He bolted , down and we all watched him, go out and scream at his sister, pointing up to the club. where we where all watching- i have never seen two people get dressed so quickly.

when he got back, a lot of people bough him drinks, to calm him down a little.

[smrtypnts]

i was dancing up in the club one night with this sweet guy on the Ledgend , and suddenly , every one is running to to windows, we look over, and we see ( its 2 am ish) a couple getting it on in the hottub , totaly nude. We start laughing, till my dance date yells " thats my baby sister!" his sister was my age( 16 at the time). He bolted , down and we all watched him, go out and scream at his sister, pointing up to the club. where we where all watching- i have never seen two people get dressed so quickly.

when he got back, a lot of people bough him drinks, to calm him down a little.

 

ewwwwwwww:o

[Jeanie821]

This might not be weird to some, but I have lived a sheltered life... on our Honeymoon on the Conquest last August, we were on board with about 800-1000 "Women of Distinction" ... black lesbians. You sure could tell which one was the boy and which one was the girl... Nice expensive mens suits, and awesome formal dresses... but too weird for us country bumpkins!! There was also 2 other groups and one was a church group... they were the unholiest people I have ever seen... fights constantly, puking in the floors, putting cigarettes out in the carpet. One kid was going from table to table spitting in all the ketchup bottles!!! GROSS!!!!

 

Makes me almost ashamed to call myself a Christian. And to think that they would have been the first to condemn the Women of Distinction!

[Jeanie821]

I was more embarassed by that than everyone knowing that we had made love in my mother's strawberry patch.

 

To quote Tony Orlando, "Who's in the strawberry patch with Sally?/Now that she's not picking them with me...":D

[Thirteen20WRX]

Unfortunately, I was the main act in this one.

 

I was about 12 y/o, on the S.S. Constitution (anyone remember Amercia-Hawaii?) and I was late for dinner. Everyone was already seated and I was a few decks above the dining room so I was running pretty quickly. I passed a couple in a hallway and then reached the stairwell. Not thinking about possible consequences, I launched myself (at a sprint) off the top stair on the landing--straight out. As anyone who's ever been on a smaller ship can attest to, there's not a whole lot of headroom-especially on the stairs. I hit my forehead square where the downward sloping underside of the stairs above me met the ceiling of the next landing down and the rest of my body kept going. I swear to this day the tips of my feet hit the ceiling, and I fell right on my back on the landing below.

 

The man of the couple behind me said, "OOOHHHH!" and then attempted, unsuccessfully, to stifle a fit of laughter. Embarrassed and with a massive headache, I lay there for a second, picked myself up, and continued on my way.

[ngl116]

I didn't see this, but my co worker went on a Carnival Cruise last month and told me about the "trans-sexual." She was at least 6 feet tall and during one of the games on the lido deck she/he offered her bikini top to a contestant. Can you imagine a mammoth sized she-man trying to hide her double d breasts while giggling about it??!?!

[pharaoh]

This thread is so great. Love it!

 

On Explorer of the Seas about 4 years ago, I was with my best friend and her sister on the sports deck where the mini golf is. The ship was going really fast for some reason and the wind up there was INTENSE. We had a bunch of towels with us cos we were planning to hit the pool after playing some golf for a bit. We'd put our towels on the floor while we hit, and then we'd pick them up and walk to the next hole.

 

Well, at one point my friend's sister and I were going around the back part of the course, I'm holding the clubs and she's holding the towels. Suddenly theres this huge gust of wind and the towels whip out of her hands and clench to her head! She was fighting to get out of the towel and I was standing there laughing my butt off while trying to get her unwrapped. We nearly fell over from the laughing and the wind combined! hahaha

 

Oh, joy.

[berniemom]

:D

Well I just read all 245 posts. Extremely Funny.

In our house we have a saying, twap or a cuff. Twap is a slap on the front of the head with the back of a hand. Cuff is the back of the head with the palm. We were on our first cruise and my wife was sittng beside a 17 yr. old. She was a little brat the whole time. Example after being presented with the menu she asks for chicken fingers. Forget what she did but my wife asked if she wanted a twap or a cuff. What do you mean she said. Well just pick one. Kid opted for twap so my wife gave her a twap. She was apaulled(spelling) and looked at her mother for support and give my wife sh%t. Mother just laughed and seemed a bit relieved that someone put her in her place. Now don't flame me for this hitting thing, they're light taps and don't hurt.

 

u go girl!!!!!!!:D

[MGilly]

I think the strangest thing we saw was on our first RCI cruise. DH and I were on the Voyager in 2000 with our kids, 18 and 21 years old at the time, and we were seated at a table that overlooked the two other floors of the dining room. Our tablemates were two elderly women, the 40-ish son of one of them, and his shrewish girlfriend. After a couple of nights spent listening to the women complain that they wished they were sitting two desks down with the GOOD son and watching the girlfriend berate the poor man about everything he said or did, we suggested they talk to the matre-d' about changing tables. The following night, the "good son" and his wife came up to our table to explain how they should not try to change tables at all, the service down there was awful, they'd get stuck at a table in a horrible location, etc., etc. The women spent the rest of the cruise looking down over the railing with binoculars to watch the "good son" and his family and comment on everything they saw happening at their table. Talk about dinner and a show!

[NYteacher]

This isn't something funny that saw but a joke on my mom and myself. It was my first cruise (at 38) since a Helsinki to Copenhagen trip when I was 9.

 

I had excitedly been reading cruise critic and was all set for the fabulous food and experience aboard a HAL ship.

 

We went up to the Lido deck for our lunch and I couldn't believe that everyone was raving about this tiny little hamburger and taco "buffet."

 

We shrugged and got some food and sat down around the pool to eat lunch. It wasn't until we were through that we saw people with plates of hot food, yummy salads etc that I realized we had missed the entire Lido buffet and that we had found the hamburger bar only. Glad we found this out on our first day.

[tahitidreamz]

*wipes a tear from laughing*

You all, I have not laughed this hard in a loooooong time.... I am still stuck on Bob-Oh and the poor wheelchair lady... Boy do they know how to party...*laughs* Unfortunately I do not have a great cruise story like the ones you all have observed... I do have an airport one though- My mom, brother and I coming back from Germany many years ago. Getting out of the taxi and trying to make a mad dash to the terminal. It was quite windy that day and my mom, was "rocking" this huge Afro Wig which was tossed off of her head by the winds amusement... Her wig was rolling down the curb like a tumbleweed from the Westerns... She is yelling to catch it, my brother and I are chasing it, and my brother makes a mad dash stomp on it.. She grabs it and slaps it on her head and we all run to the terminal counter to get checked in. I "Know" the ticket agent was looking at her like- What the heck??? My poor mothers wig was no longer "in"... It was a big hot mess..Half smashed in with a dusty shoeprint on the side from where my brother autographed it, and then to make it even worse it was on backwards.... What a day I tell ya....

ciao

tahiti

[bakechef]

I think it was in 1998. I was with my parents on the monarch of the seas, while dressing for dinner my mom was trying to put on a panty shield, well she got distracted and lost it, she couldn't find it anywhere, so she said oh well and got another one, finished getting dressed and we all went to dinner, well my mom got a little ahead of my dad and I and when we caught up with her in front of the dining room doors my dad notices something stuck to the back of her leg just below he skirt hem, yup it was the missing panty liner, my mom looking all pretty for dinner reaches down peels it off and sticks it in her purse, we had a good laugh, and of course she had to tell our tablemates about it, the woman is impossible to embarrass.

 

happy sailing!

[ridgeview lab lover]

A few come to mind. On the Sea Princess we had an older couple and the lady had to use oxygen. She had outfits made for the oxygen tank that was transported via a walker with wheels. I went to the arts and crafts class and they were making necklaces for not only the oxygen tank she had with her but her "sister" in the cabin as well.

We were on a Carnival ship several years ago and were standing on deck at the lifeboat drill when a lady went past with her golden retriever seeing eye dog. It turned out there was a large group on for a bingo event and she was one of them. I guess she had special cards made up in braille.

It was just startling to see a dog on ship.

We were getting on the tender to Cancum from the old Dreamward many years ago when there was a big group of Mexican police approaching. It turned out someone had jumped ship from a Cuban freighter and he was hanging on the anchor rope of the Dreamward!

My last funny - we did a cruisetour on Princess and the cruise was at the end. At that point everyone had laundry to do and two of our fellow passengers were trying to wash leather pants in the washing machine. Didn't stay aroung to find out how that turned out!

[LrdNorman]

As a graduation from high school present, my mom and I went on a three day jaunt over to the Bahamas. We were having a great time spending time together before I went away to college.

 

Since both my mom and I love to laugh, we went to the stand-up comedian's show one night. This man came out with quite an air of superiority (the "this joke is VERY funny" comments should have tipped us off that he would bomb...)

 

Anyway, he starts into his set and he is bombing left and right. Nobody's laughing, except for a few chuckles here and there. You can imagine his frustration as he pleads with the crowd, "Ah, come on! These are hysterical! They killed at Vegas last week!"

 

Much to his credit, he continued, but his jokes just weren't being received well. After about 25 minutes, he starts wiping his brow with his red handkerchief, he exclaims, "Man, you guys are a tough crowd. What is it going to take to make you guys laugh?"

 

From far in the back you hear a man's voice bellow out, "Say something funny!"

 

The place roared with laughter (except the comedian)....

 

Kevin

[passaporta]

We were on a cruise last summer with Dame Edna's twin sister. She weighed considerably more than her sister & instead of lilac hair - her hair was apricot, different but twins just the same.

 

SHe had amazingly flamboyant outfits or rather costumes for each time of day. Around the pool her huge hoop earrings & accessories matched her bathing suits. Her bejewelled sunglasses again matched each outfit.

 

Maybe she was Dame Edna in disguise???

 

:) :) :)

[PNFAM]

On our first cruise with RCCL on the Naviagator my husband and I wanted to quick run up to the dining area and grab a snack before going ashore. Now keep in mind my husband spends more time making sure I'm happy then himself. So as he was scurring around the room packing, picking up, etc, he placed his shoes on and out the door we went. Once in the dining room we went separate ways to fill our plates, I sat down first and waved him over, once he got close enough I burst out in tears of laughter he just stood there trying to figure out what was so damn funny. I managed to squeak out you have your boxes on. He had walked the entire dining room and didn't realize he had forgotton his pants. We will never forget that trip. :eek: :D

now thats not funny there' been several times i did not remember I put my pants on and had to actually look down to check, and i'm not even old!!!lol:D

[sag1804]

Well I know I have seen MANY crazy things and done many things on a cruise ship...however they aren't G rated. Yours sounds funny but BOY are there some crazy things that happen on these things.;)

[Jazzfman]

think it had to be the women from my Christian singles group. We cruised on CCL's Fascination during Valentine's Day week, and we had a "pajama party" (separated by gender) on Valentine's night. The women, needing a spacious place to meet, were loaned a suite by one of the men in our group. Poor guy... he came back to find candy arranged in the shape of a heart on his pillow and "Thank You Ed" written in lipstick on the mirror. To add insult to injury, the next morning he found himself explaining to the neighbors why there were a dozen pajama-clad women in his room.

 

Meanwhile, my roommate collected all of the glitter confetti our leader had used as decoration and used it to "baptize" one of the men in our group, who was in the cabin next to ours!

Sorry....I dont get it....why would you have a singles group PJ party Seperated by Gender!!!? Kinda looks these folks will be stayin single huh?

[jp2001]

We sailed on Royal Voyager along with the Hogs on the High Seas (Harley Davidson) convention unbeknowst to us until we arrived at the port for embarkation. There were 1500 Harley riders and 300 of the rest of us. The dining room dress code was waived only for convention goers all week. First formal night the convention goers all wore black leather. DH and I are walking to dinner with me in a full length gown and he in a tux and there is a couple in front of us. She is wearing a black leather bikini top with a pair of black leather chaps and a black leather thong (underwear). That's all she was wearing so her entire backside was exposed.

 

Leaned over to my husband and said, looks like I'm a bit overdressed this evening compared to her!

 

I think cruiselines should tell other passengers when such a large group ''takes over'' a ship, especially if they change the dress code, activities or the like.

[ZydeDiverDC]

I agree.. and me, with only silk and chifon! (sp?)

We attended a dance in another state so we had to get a hotel room. No one mentioned the Tri outs of three states Volley Ball for grade school up to high.. there were well over 700 students ... all with their own volley balls. in the pool.. in the jacuzzi, in the fitness room .. in the elevators .. up against our bedroom wall. bounce bounce bounce.. ergggg ( hair pulling)

now i ask.

[renata102]

i hope I will have some good stories when I come back from my 9/7 sailing. Funny stuff!

[renata102]

double post

[Need2Cruze]

Gosh these are hilarious! Laughing out loud here!

DH went on a cruise years ago when he was 19 - the maiden voyage of the Sovereign. So he, his brother and mother got to have dinner at the captain's table. An elderly gentleman (80ish) was also seated at their table. He kept trying to bring his drink straw to his lips, but his hand kept shaking (as elderly people's sometimes do) and he kept moving his lips in and out trying to grab the straw with them. The straw finally makes contact with the lips, and slurp! The little piece of paper they left at the end of the straw got sucked in! They never saw it again. And he never noticed!