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Oh, I forgot!

When I was getting up out of the spa tub, I saw a dolphin. It was over before I registered even what happened, but so cool!

Anyway, here are some random menus.

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It was now 415, I had the latitudes vip party (I am lowly bronze so not invited, but since I arranged the meet and greet, I was elevated.) at 6, and dinner at 7.i hadn’t eaten since 9, and the buffet was closed. There was a small buffet at topsiders with very little that I could eat- it was a lot of meat. So I had a small plate of the whitest food I have ever eaten. Bread, potato salad, quiche.

The latitudes party was nice, I got to meet the captain and the cruise director, and some others. Passed drinks and light snacks. I love the bliss space here. I expected this to be more salesy, and certainly the staff that came by to say hi all had reasons, like the emerald guy, but no real selling. It as nice and I met a few nice people.

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So... as I was getting dressed in the spa, Thelma from the spa came to get me for my 245 seaweed wrap. She had me fill out the normal paperwork. I made a note not to try to sell me on product.

She DID try (and succeed) at upselling me by $25 to spend my seaweed wrap time in this human rice cooker, instead of on a table:

She did ask me why I didn’t want product. This kind of annoyed me. I told her I have tons of unused product, that it’s a buzzkill to end the massage fighting a hard sell, and that I didn’t have room anyway. She countered the last statement with the fact that they can ship. I told her to forget I used that as an excuse and to just not sell me anything. She dropped it.

She also asked me how many times a week I soak in a tub, and how many times a week I perform skin brushing.

...a week? Really? Like, it would be nice to soak in a tub and brush my skin every week; but as the nice lady said:

The last thing she did that bugged me was she fed me some crap about “just like you take capsules for an internal cleanse, this wrap is an external cleanse.”

I told her I have a liver and kidneys, I don’t need capsules.

For the rest of the time she was lovely.

I’ve never done a seaweed (or anything else) wrap. I have no issue with nudity, but parts of this were awkward.

First, I had to strip (while she left the room) and wear this:

Yes, that is a paper thong. Next she gave me an 8x10 piece of tissue to “hold over my chest,” if you are anything more than a b cup, this is going to be comical.

Now, I had to climb on top of the steamer, which was covered in Saran Wrap. Climbing it was hard, in my paper thong, especially because my hands were occupied holding the tissue over both boobs at the same time, all while being watched and helped by Thelma.

Once I laid on the plastic she had me sit up (again tricky while on nipple duty) and she covered me in green goo. Then I laid back down, she wrapped the plastic around me, sealed me in the steamer and left me to marinate for 20-30 minutes.

She came back, I climbed out of the contraption, and she led me to the shower. Then she began to rinse me off from the back. As a grown a$$ womAn, this also felt weird. Thankfully I was allowed to do my own front.

Then I got to lay on tinfoil, with a new paper thong and now roughly a washcloth for my upper bits. I was wrapped in the tinfoil and left for a bit, and then it was massage time.

The massage was nice. There were a few times it was too intense, she asked if it was too much pressure and I said no, and then the next stroke I realize, ow too much, but didn’t say anything.

At the end, I dressed and left feeling pretty good.

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So: quick bit of randomness that i should have included earlier, a 1-minute tour of my aft-facing balcony:

Also, for what it’s worth, my friends and even my MOM think that last night’s towel animal looked a little... risqué.

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Let’s talk about the spa:

The female side of the spa is small. It’s basically a steam room, a sauna, a hot bathtub sized bathtub with jets, a small square tub with cold water, and some chairs.

There were two women in the bathtub IN their robes. Is that normal?

Anyway, I spent some time in each, except for the cold plunge pool (no thanks.) and went to the coed section. It boasts a hot tub, a jetted pool with showers, amazing heated tile loungers, and some rain showers. Loved the pool, it had the added perk of being a pretty intense wave pool due to the toughness of the water.

I was madly in love with the heated tile loungers.

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While I am at it, here’s a short timelapse from the front of the ship at sailaway.

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An idea of how rough the water is today:

Also: someone just vomited in my hall.

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What a fantastic idea for the gift exchange - I love it!!!! Did everyone seem to enjoy it?

Yes! Lots of laughs. A few people asked for the text.

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Here you go, available on amazon:

Also, although I did not use the MDR today, here’s some menu:

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A couple orders of business while I sit in my heated tile lounger.

1.) these babies are a lifesaver. Basically it’s a eucalyptus steam bomb that makes my

Shower smell and feel good when a little

Tired/hungover:

2.) magnets are a great investment on this trip!

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So we did a gift exchange. I had found a fun story game way to do it involving a couple that needs to bake a cake, so I wrote a compelling story about a couple who likes to hog chairs and smoke on the balcony. Whenever the word WRIGHT/RIGHT/WRITE was spoken, everyone passed their present to the right, whenever “LEFT” was spoken, to the left. There were blank spaces in the story I added, using names of the participants drawn at random. A few people asked me for my story, here it is:

This is a story about Mr. and Mrs WRIGHT.

One evening they were sick of their jobs and decided it was the RIGHT time to take a vacation. Mrs. WRIGHT Said to her husband, “————, we have plenty of vacation time LEFT, let’s go!”

“You’re RIGHT, _______, we should go! “ So Mr. WRIGHT and Mrs. WRIGHT called their travel agent _______, booked a last minute cruise on the newest, prettiest ship called the NCL _________, and left for the port RIGHT away.

As they were boarding, they were told that they could not bring water on the ship.

“But my friend ________ brought it last year! This isn’t RIGHT!” Exclaimed Mrs. WRIGHT.

“Lady, you should have LEFT the water at home!” Said the porter, and before Mrs. WRIGHT could complain too much, mister WRIGHT ushered her the rest of the way through security and bought her a couple cokes at the vending machine, while Mrs. WRIGHT decided to WRITE a quick text to her friend _______. Wish you were here! It said.

Before long, their boarding number was called and mr and Mrs WRIGHT were ushered RIGHT onto the ship. Mr. WRIGHT went RIGHT up to the nearest bartender, ___________, and got two drinks. He went looking for Mrs. WRIGHT, Who LEFT her towel on a chair to reserve it for the entire cruise (“I paid for this cruise! It’s my RIGHT to have a chair!”) she then LEFT to go smoke on her balcony, until her porter,________ came and yelled at her.

By the time she came back, Mr. WRIGHT had ordered about 8 rebellious fish and one WOO WOO, and had nothing LEFT. He wasn’t feeling RIGHT, and Mrs. RIGHT was already annoyed that there was no lobster in the main dinning room, so they both LEFT to go back to their stateroom to take a nap. And yes, Mrs WRIGHT still LEFT her towel on a chair.

We don’t know what happened to them after that, because the rest of us were all enjoying our vacation. RIGHT now while they are napping, _________ and _________ and ________ and _______ are all having an amazing time. But the moral of the story is, you don’t always have to be WRIGHT. Have a safe and happy trip, everyone, and enjoy what’s LEFT!

Anyway, I ended up with an awesome water bottle, coozie, and umbrella from Seattle. Thank you whomever you are!

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After breakfast, I had just enough time to run back to my cabin, grab some stuff, most importantly, grab a Bloody Mary, and head to the meet and greet.

The meet and greet was in bliss lounge which is so much nicer here than on the breakaway.

The captain came which was awesome. He’s the bald guy.

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Is that a drink or yogurt?

It’s a yogurt parfait.

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Breakfast:

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Monday’s dailies:

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I went to sleep, wondering what this towel animal is supposed to be.

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For dinner I got the squash salad (although frankly it was more like an arugula Brussels sprout salad with a little squash but those are all my friends so we good.) it was super tasty.

My main was the eggplant Gorgonzola. I don’t love thickly sliced eggplant but in spite of that, it didn’t bother me. What did disappoint was the sauce. I am no Italian gravy snob, I often use jarred at home, but ncl’s red gravy always disappoints me. The meal wasnt inedible, I still enjoyed it, but in the same way I might enjoy a frozen meal for lunch.

One thing I will say is the hostess who sat me, she also sat me for lunch. For dinner, she remembered my name. I always appreciate that. Except when it’s panera and they know my name and breakfast order. Then I feel bad.

Next was our barcrawl. I suck and didn’t get a lot of photos, none of the people. Met some awesome people. It didn’t go off perfectly, one outdoor destination was freezing and the other was closed, and some people couldn’t find us, and I didn’t win the dollar game, and at one point I swear the quartet was playing taps (although maybe it was amazing grace.) then we were treated to the musical stylings of Jake. He wasn’t bad but the music wasn’t really our jam. Things kind of broke up after that, which was fine because I was tired.

During this time I had a passion fruit mojito, a raspberry guava mojito, a cranberry vodka and a peachy thing from the champagne bar. Here’s some random photos from this time.

Enjoying your posts so much! Any idea who the Captain is? or the Concierge?

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I got prime location at the front, center of the ship. I wedged myself up against some metal, this kept the world from seeing my underwear- nobody needs that. I took some great timelapse of sailaway, and then I got cold, so I decided to watch the rest from my aft facing cAbin. Easier said than done, it was so windy I was Marilyn monroeing all over the ship. Finally I got inside and the world was safe from my underwear.

I curled up on the chair with my blanket and drank some of the mediocre sparkling wine, listening to juliana Hatfield, and Hamilton.

Then I went inside and took a nap. I never nap. It felt good.

6pm. Dinner at indigo.

T

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My little setup... fake candle, fresh flowers, and an atomizer spraying orange and lemongrass.

My lucky blanket for balcony viewing. It’s a mermaid tail, my grandma made it.

I brought reusable stainless steel straws. I also had a crazy straw in the shape of my name but I don’t know where it went.

I wandered around the ship some more.

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Dessert and dailies:

Oh yeah, I forgot! In my wandering, i tripped over the spa and booked two massages and a facial.

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STATEROOMS ARE READY!

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So, lunch, day 1:

I opted for the hummus, knowing that NCLs tastes like the real stuff, and the watermelon. It was all really good.

Oh and you know, another rebellious fish.

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Oh, while wandering, I had a rebellious fish:

And a mango meltdown:

I believe my lunch choices were buffet, summer palace. And o’Sheehans. I remember o’Sheehan’s being underwhelming on other ships for vegetarians, and I didn’t want to do buffet, so summer palace it was.

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Ok, let’s get this party started. My key didn’t work so I had to go immediately to guest services. Thankfully I was the first one there and they fixed it immediately. I asked if there was somewhere I could put my unwieldy carryon stuff- they sent me to lotus garden. I had to wait about a half hour to be helped, there was a really nice woman who was one of the dancers who helped me find the person who was supposed to be attending the luggage drop off. Meanwhile, I met a very nice bartender named matika. She’s loud. I like that. I told her she will see me again later.

Free of bags, I wandered the ship a little.

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