This is why writing a letter to your butler can be really important. You can set expectations ahead of time as to how much or how little attention you require. We left our letter in the suite for him once we boarded.
For example:
To our Butler
We are ______ and _______
We would like to have the following snacks _______
We do not want the following________
We do not need you to provide these services ____________
We would like you to do the following for us ____________
And so on. Will the butler comply? It depends on the butler. But it is extremely helpful for him or her to know what’s expected ahead of time. I agree that if you don’t use his services you don’t need to tip. Also, if the butler ignores what you tell him and is really in your face about tipping, I wouldn’t tip either. You should tip accordingly. JMHO and from experience. We had one okay butler and one outstanding butler. We tipped accordingly.