Interesting thread on out of control teens

[DocJohnB]

That's why I said that security should be stepped up to enforce the curfew.

 

If the cruiselines would step up the security and make sure that there is a curfew for kids

 

Sea Island Lady. How about this: It is the parent's responsibility to make sure that there is a curfew for their kids and it meets or beats the cruiselines curfew. How would they do that. If the curfew is 1 am for their kids, then the curfew is 1 am for them. That would ensure the kids have met the curfew. I know that it is a novel idea that some parents will have to accept this responsibility. However, if you are bringing you kids, teens, young adults as guests, then YOU need to ensure that your offspring follow the rules and it is impossible to do this from a lounge, bar or the casino. Now if you don't want to take on this responsibility - don't bring the kids on the cruise.

 

I am not sure how much more the cruiselines could do. They do maintain security staffs and surveillance on board. I do not think it is necessary to have roving patrols on all decks to ensure that kids are being parented correctly.

 

Just my nickle's worth.

[Sea Island Lady]

Sea Island Lady. How about this: It is the parent's responsibility to make sure that there is a curfew for their kids and it meets or beats the cruiselines curfew. How would they do that. If the curfew is 1 am for their kids, then the curfew is 1 am for them. That would ensure the kids have met the curfew.

It would be great and it works with our family. Unfortunately, too many parents stay out all night or go to bed and let the kids stay out. If security would take the responsibility to escort any kids seen out after 1:00 am to their parents stateroom, then maybe there wouldn't be many problems. Or...perhaps at check-in, the reservationists could speak to each parent briefly and give parents a pamphlet on the rules and regulations of the ship. I think that parents would pay more attention to someone telling them personally then taking the chance that they would read about the curfew in the Compass later. Just an idea! :)

[DocJohnB]

Or...perhaps at check-in, the reservationists could speak to each parent briefly and give parents a pamphlet on the rules and regulations of the ship. I think that parents would pay more attention to someone telling them personally then taking the chance that they would read about the curfew in the Compass later. Just an idea! :)

 

Actually, this is a great idea. However, I have a sneaky but strong suspicion that those who ignore the blurb in the Compass, would do the same with the pamphlet.

 

Perhaps if the pamphlet stated that zero tolerance to the curfew would be the rule and breaking the curfew would result in being placed off the ship at the next port (ala Paradise and smoking) would be a better deterrent.

 

(I know, I know, Bicker, but I am just putting forth ideas here. ;) )

[bUU]

It goes back to what we were talking about earlier about denial: The parents who a inclined to provide appropriate supervision for their children are as likely as not to do so regardless of being told, and those who are not so inclined would as likely as not ignore any measures to prompt them to do so. And having a strange adult, even in uniform, escorting minors back to their stateroom -- well that's just asking for trouble in this day and age.

[Sea Island Lady]

And having a strange adult, even in uniform, escorting minors back to their stateroom -- well that's just asking for trouble in this day and age.

Good point, but there has to be a way. Phone call, note sent to the stateroom the next day or even a visit to the dinner table the next night by an official might do the trick. The parents would sure be embarrassed by that! :D

[bUU]

I suppose that could work, but only if children were required to wear placards at all times that indicated their cabin (and complied with the requirement).

[Sea Island Lady]

but only if children were required to wear placards at all times that indicated their cabin (and complied with the requirement).

Now we are getting somewhere. :) If the younger children have to wear an ID bracelet, then the older kids should have to also. After all...they are the ones causing all the trouble!

[Onessa]

". . . After all...they are the ones causing all the trouble!"

 

I don't have a teen nor have I ever travelled with one, but I think it is a very unfair generalization to say that teens are causing "all" the trouble.

 

I've been on cruises where there have been middle aged adults causing criminal mischief - lots of drunken and disorderly, once I witnessed a passenger taking a swing at another passenger, and public urination. I've also been witness to a number of boorish, obnoxious behavior on the part of full-fledged adults.

 

I no more want to be awaken at 3:00 from a drunken adult who was too drunk to dial correctly, than I want a crank call from some bored teens. No more want some idiot middle-aged woman "holding" the elevator for her friend who is "just getting her purse from the cabin", than I want to deal with a pair of 12YO's joy riding in the elevators.

 

The cruise companies need to take action against all passengers, regardless of age, who are behaving badly enough to infringe upon other passenger's safety and/or well-being.

 

It's nice to say that teens cause "all the problems" but we all know that is not the case.

[Sea Island Lady]

I don't have a teen nor have I ever travelled with one, but I think it is a very unfair generalization to say that teens are causing "all" the trouble.

"Out of control teens"...that's the name of this thread and they are who we are talking about...not the misbehaving adults. ;)

[beachchick]

DH and I figured out early on in DD's teen years that the 2 things teens fear above all else are loss of priviledges and being embarrassed by their parents. Fortunately, we had already taught her right from wrong so she only needed the occassional "nudge" to remember. (Don't get me wrong, she was no angel and got grounded more than once.) She is now one of the most charming, kind, honest people we know (yeah, I know we're kinda biased).

 

I think the issue becomes murkier for the 18 to 21 crowd. First, we tell them they are adults, but then we tell them they are still kids. I say we expect them to act like adults. If they don't, it's off the ship. At that age the only thing the parents can really do is not pay for them to go in the first place. If RCI makes parents (or older adults travelling with 18-21 year olds) responsible for the young adults behavior, that's perfectly fine with me. I just think it's a difficult transitional phase. The bottom line is that passengers need to live up to the expected standards of conduct. Period. Hitting someone else for any reason except true self defense should be cause for immediate action by the cruise line.

 

More food for thought, when did we start needing constant television PSAs telling parents to "be a parent to your kid"? Frankly, the fact that we need these PSAs in the first place is what's truly frightening. If you need to be told to be a parent, you shouldn't be one.

 

beachchick

[Kami's pal]

Bonnie, that really made me chuckle... We are currently having some "issues" with my 9th grade son. I'm sure quite a bit of it is the adjustment to high school and the additional freedom. His grades slipped drastically and don't seem to be improving. I told him point blank that he has 2 weeks to get ALL those D's to B's or better. His teachers are with me on this and have given him the catch up work. The consequence if he doesn't?? I'm taking a day or two off of work, and following him around school. I'll tell him I love him in front of his friends, I'll eat lunch with him. I'll pat him on the head and call him mommies little boy. I told him I'd do this to make sure he is staying on task. Guess what? He got the grades back up in DAYS. Not the 2 weeks!

 

(A tiny little evil part of me almost wishes he didn't take care of the problem.....LOL....)

 

I love this strategy. It works so well. Of course, one HAS to act. Saying and not doing just incites the little bully to up the ante. So, you embarrass me, I'll embarrass you. You distract me in the car, you walk. I'll drive beside you, or otherwise supervise you, but you will walk. I did this to a misbehaving teen ball player I was driving home. Never had that problem again. Won't buckle the seat belt? My car just drifted to the curb whenever that seatbelt latch clicked. I had every child under 7 convinced that I had rigged my car to the seatbelts.

 

For a year I belonged to a parent (of acting out teens) support group. We had the most fun brainstorming logical consequences for our children. Smoking? You now have total control of your portion of our budget. That's n$ for clothes, transportation, recreation, food, heat, phone service, cable service, laundry etc. etc. etc. You get to do the shopping for x, y, z (shampoo, birthday party gifts, haircuts, clothes, school trips, ) after we deduct the share of #$ for household expenses. Worked for mine.

 

Phone bills? I took the phone's handset with me to work. Rude, angry language? My feelings were too hurt to do _________, I needed a cognitive/ affective tuneup so I did _______ instead of driving the team, washing the clothes, cooking the meal.

 

I am a retired teacher. My daughter is now a teacher. In 1963, my first year of teaching, l had occasion to ask a parent to come in because his child was refusing to pick up his pencil. I had in mind a referral to psychological services. Father came. Levered his tool belt into the chair. After hearing my earnest plea for counselling, he said, "He'll pick up his pencil tomorrow." And the child did.

 

My daughter had to make an appointment to inform parents that their daughter was failing, had not turned in assignments, and was always late or missing during class. Parents insisted that daughter was scared of teacher and went to principal to register a complaint.

 

When children are held responsible, allowed to live with the consequences of their choices, they won't run wild on a holiday, because they won't have earned that holiday. And, if they "forget' they will live with the printed consequences of the cruise line. If that means mom and Dad do too, then they live with those consequences. Selling the kid's car, ipod, leather jacket, renting his room to another adult (kid can sleep on the floor in the laundry room) would soon reimburse parents for the costs.

 

Where there's a will there's a way.