Interesting thread on out of control teens

[Sea Island Lady]

My Dad was career air force and all it took was The Look. I was smart enough not to push it further. Nuff said. ;)

I forgot about "that look"! My children are always saying "don't give me that look...I know what needs to be done."

 

Oh for heaven's sake, don't take the phrase 'a boot up the a$$' so literally.

Sorry, I have never heard that phrase, nor do I speak that word. Call me a prude.:rolleyes:

 

Too many people not being held accountable whether it's kids or their parents who aren't paying attention. I say a little fear of the consequences is a good thing.

I agree...Fear of consequences is a good thing as long as the children are not fearing a beating. Unfortunately, too many children in the world today are fearing a beating and getting them also. :(

 

Getting back to the subject of the thread... supervision is the key to having your kids behave on the cruise. Too many parents have the attitude that their kids can do no wrong and they will be safe, so why not let the kids run all over the ship and do what they want.:rolleyes: Parents should be held accountable for their children but they are not always so. If the cruiselines would step up the security and make sure that there is a curfew for kids, then the problems could be diminished.

 

Debandbill - So true! :)

[goodml]

Don't ever say "My child would never do blah blah blah." Believe me, even though you think that you have been a successful parent and reared a very "successful child," God has a way of reminding you that you aren't so perfect and neither are they. Its just how life works! At some time or another, your child will bring you down to earth and remind you of this! Believe me...

 

Signed...a mother who found out her child WOULD do some things she could not have imagined!

:) That's very funny and so true. Life sure has a way of humbling us when we need it (and sometimes when we don't.)

[debandbill]

Actually, there is a curfew for kids on RCI and its posted on the Compass. Granted, its not in big bold lettering, but its there..."all unaccompanied guests under the age of 18 must be clear of public areas by 1:00 am." Ummm....I just looked at the Rhapsody Compasses and they don't have this edict but our previous several cruise Compasses do contain this notice.

 

Regarding my child and his lessons to me....I do also believe in "bring up a child in the way they should go, etc." He is now 26 and doing very well and thinks his parents get smarter every day. So, even though we had a few very rough years of disappointment, his upbringing is finally creeping to the surface. I just know now that kids can be very savvy at pulling the wool over your eyes and frankly, we (parents) tend to ignore signs that things aren't right. Those of you who say that vigilance and involvement make a difference are correct but even with all that, our children sometimes find a way to thwart us. I am happy to be on this side of the parental timeline...its very hard work! Deb

[Sea Island Lady]

Actually, there is a curfew for kids on RCI and its posted on the Compass.

Yes, I know. That's why I said that security should be stepped up to enforce the curfew.

If the cruiselines would step up the security and make sure that there is a curfew for kids,

I know what you mean about things coming to the surface as the kids get older. However, my kids were usually caught either in the act or shortly thereafter. I think they gave up trying to be bad. :D

 

I have just recently told my parents (I am 47), that while in college, I took an airline trip to New York with a friend who introduced me to some famous designers. I even got to model for Geoffrey Beene! :) Even after all these years, that didn't go over well.:o

[madaamt]

My DH and I were on the Enchantment of the seas last year and were approched by two teen boys who wanted us to buy them a bottle of liquor!! Something needs to be done.

[Jumbie]

It is interesting how consistently parents who apply spanking believe that hellions are the product of not spanking; and parents who don't apply spanking believe that hellions are the product of spanking. I bet the actuality is that there is no correlation... that there are hellions who were spanked, and hellions who were not spanked.

Good point and I feel that it is somewhat true.

 

I was spanked as a kid and young teen. I'd usually get a lecture, then a smack or two and my dad even took a belt to me when I stupidly laughed when he spanked me. However, I was not ever abused.

 

I grew up in a society where spanking is normal. I've been discplined by my friends' parents when the situation warranted it and neither I nor my parents have any objection to it. In fact, I am grateful. However, when I left Grenada and went to university in Canada where it seems that parents cannot touch their kids cause they are taught to call 911 and report child abuse at the drop of a hat, I was rather disgusted with the way I saw many teenagers and kids behaving in public. No respect for their parents and elders.

 

Of course, this is a generalization. As with everything else, it doesn't hold true for everyone. I saw many well-behaved kids as well. It just seemed that they were in the minority as compared with the children I'd grown up around. By the way, I'm 25. I didn't grow up that long ago.

 

Like bicker pointed out, a lot depends on the child, their personailty, etc. but there is no doubt in my mind that a little spanking now and again (or the threat of one anyway) goes a lot further than a talking to, time out, grounding or threat of loss of something material such as a toy or allowance.

 

Just my two cents.

 

***

 

By the way, with regard to the punching incident, 19 is in no way a child and is a teenage in name only.

[stbmom]

There is ANOTHER discussion on NCL about a recent cruiser who just got back and had horror stories about kids. I am not sure how to add the link, but it is title: "Parents, please keep hold of your kids" or something like that. That say the kids were thowing deck chairs overboard and defacting in the stairwells!!!!!!!! This was on a 14 day cruise.

What in the world is going on?????

[MrsPete]

I guarantee you this: My children would never behave this way.

 

No, I'm not in denial. How can I be 100% certain? Simple: I supervise them, so they will have no opportunity to be troublemakers. When they are teens, they will be allowed LIMITED "on your own time" with friends, but my husband and I will check up on them -- frequently. They know quite well that if they are found in an inappropriate area, or taking part in any inappropriate activity, their "free time" will quickly end.

[dosi]

I hope that my son will learn right from wrong both by the examples that his father and I set for him and from the ways that we discuss morals and values. I have no doubt that at some point my son will do something stupid, dangerous or illegal....or maybe all three :eek: . I had a very moral upbringing and knew right from wrong and also did some very stupid things. However like others have said on this thread I do believe that appropriate supervision is the key to good behavior. No matter the age you have to keep a close eye on your children. I plan to be like Gumby's mom as my son gets older.....I will suddently materialize out of no where when he least expects it. I hope he will have it in his heart to do the right thing but if he doesn't then perhaps the RAGE of MOM will also be a good incentive. :)

[stbmom]

I honestly respect what everyone is saying, but I really think this stuff goes beyond normal childhood misbehaving. Although it concerns me that kids drink on the boats - that stuff is bound to happen in the lives of many kids before they turn 21. They same with hooking up with people (you know what I mean).

However - throwing deck chairs overboard is not normal for a child. Using the bathroom in the hallway is not normal for a child. Trying to break into someones cabin is not normal for a child. Giving a blackeye to a stranger isn't normal behavior (yes kids fight, but generally not people they have never met before). That is the part that is so scary for me - these are not normal children. I've been around kids a lot, they can do stupid things, but any kid deciding to defecate in the hallway needs to be in a psychologists office - not on a cruise ship enjoying a vacation. I can see throwing silverware overboard - they kids get courious, but throwing deck chairs overboard - that is not normal. Knocking on doors is annoying - knocking people down or hitting them in the eye is scary.

[Honey's Gal]

STBMOM, it can happen at couples only places also. I have found more rude and disruptive adults to be the norm lately than kids. I am certainly not saying kids can't be rude, they certainly can be.

 

It does all come from their upbring, adults and kids alike. Rude adults were probably rude children. IMO it seems to be a total lack of respect. If parents and children do not repect each other, no amount of dicipline will help. That is why some children do well without physical punishment and other don't.

 

A child needs to know that the parent is there to provide love, security, well being and guidance. A parent needs to know that IS their responsiblity, not someone elses. I think too many parents spend too much time trying to be friends with and please their kids. They forgot how to teach them to be kind, self-sufficient adults. This IMHO.

[stbmom]

Honey'sGal,

It's true that this type of behavior can happen at adults only places too - I just think it can be more easily controlled. Believe me, after the incident I had on the Jewel - I know adults can be problems too. I guess you are bound to have a lot more problems with 3000 people on a ship. I don't know, it just seems so sad that we now have to wonder if there is some crazy (and I do mean mentally disturbed) person on the ship with us when we spend so much for a vacation. I love cruising - really. But things seem to be getting a little out of hand. It's not all people, not even most people. But if the small people that are causing trouble are doing some of the things that I've read, I have to think twice. My dh and I booked a cruise while we were on the Jewel last month - now we are starting to rethink our plans - we booked the Voyager Class.

[Honey's Gal]

STBMOM, I am so sorry that these events make you want to change your long awaited plans. It is unfortunate that our society has changed so much over the years that people are afraid and uncomforable to do things that should be enjoyable bacause of others.

 

I do hope you go on your cruise and you do not have to deal with any unpleasant adults or children. We all deserve that.

[nosnobunny]

When we cruised on the Brilliance a couple of years ago, we had a long conversation with the head of Security. It was fascinating. Most areas of the ship are under camera serveillance (sp?). He told us that their biggest problem was with unsupervised teens who think it is fun to toss the loungers overboard. Apparently this happens on most cruises. They don't normally get away with it because they're on video tape and the parents have the expenses billed to their S&S card. Even a normally good kid can change into something else when they roam in packs. Unsupervised teens spell trouble anywhere.

 

Beth

[baseballmom]

I hope that my son will learn right from wrong both by the examples that his father and I set for him and from the ways that we discuss morals and values. I have no doubt that at some point my son will do something stupid, dangerous or illegal....or maybe all three :eek: . I had a very moral upbringing and knew right from wrong and also did some very stupid things. However like others have said on this thread I do believe that appropriate supervision is the key to good behavior. No matter the age you have to keep a close eye on your children. I plan to be like Gumby's mom as my son gets older.....I will suddently materialize out of no where when he least expects it. I hope he will have it in his heart to do the right thing but if he doesn't then perhaps the RAGE of MOM will also be a good incentive. :)

You've summed up my feelings beautifully! Sure, I'd love to say "not MY son," but I know it's not realistic. My 15-year-old son and I will be on Serenade in June. I definitely want him to have fun, maybe make some new friends, and enjoy the one week of summer vacation he'll get this year. However, he will definitely know the rules before we board, and will be reminded of them as the week passes. I also hope he will do the right thing in all situations -- we talk about being a "lemming" vs. being an individual quite a lot -- but if he slips up you better believe that this Gumby Mama will be right there to straighten him out! Thanks again for your terrific post!

 

Laurie

[ducklite]

My Dad was career air force and all it took was The Look. I was smart enough not to push it further. Nuff said. ;)

 

Beth

 

Oh yeah--my mom was the one with "the Look". She handed it down to me, and it still works :)

 

Anne

[hstrybuf]

I personally have never seen anything aboard a ship like the incidents aboard NCL or any other line. Sure, I've seen the small stuff and actually have said something to kids who were running in areas where it wasn't safe to do so. I also strongly suggested that a group of kids not be playing on the house phones, which from listening to their conversation, was their intent once the adults left the area. Anything as bad as what I've been reading would be reported to security and followed up if the behavior continued. We cruise off season to hopefully lessen the possibility of running into situations like those described. So far, it's worked.

 

Our relationship with our parents was based on mutual love and respect. Growing up in a small town, we were held accountable not only by our parents, but by the other adults who all knew us and by many of our peers. There wasn't much misbehaving going on in school because you knew you'd be punished at school, get it again at home, and be embarrassed to face your peers. In a small town, everyone knew everything about everyone else. It was not uncommon for us to get a spanking or have to go out and cut our own switch when we were misbehaving. Luckily that didn't happen often as my father also knew how to give "the look".

 

We tried to build on what our parents taught us with our own children. The occasional spanking worked as did taking away privileges and a stern talk about what was right and wrong. Our oldest was the easy one. It usually only took "the look". Our youngest however, required constant reminders and more strict discipline. She was and will continue to be our biggest challenge in setting our kids' feet on the right road.

 

Kids are going to make mistakes and hopefully they will learn from them. We can't do that for them. Talk to your kids, about everything, give them your love, time, attention and respect, use discipline as you deem prudent for each situation, and make them accountable for their actions from the time they are small. If you have to, seek help from professionals. When you've done the best you can, then keep your fingers crossed and pray they'll be the good kids we all hope for and responsible adults when they leave your home.

[tazmancruiser]

I thought about this all afternoon and some of the other problems that have popped up from time to time and it is really unfornate.

Several years ago on R.C. I talked to the Cruise Director and we were discussing some of the problems that happen on ships (all of the lines). Under age drinking, damaged paintings, throwing pool lounge chairs over board, etc. He said, "one spring break on anothe line got so out of hand they had to bring in extra secruity at the first port, as the passengers were really getting to the point they could no longer control them!"

He more less indicated R.C. were beginning to enforce a zero tolerance policy on certain issues. Under age drinking was one of them. He told of more than one family that where escorted off of the ship at the first port. I don't think insurance convers drunk and disorderly kids, let alone coughing up cash for one way airline tickets back home. And yes it isn't always the kids, some grown ups can act pretty down stupid too!

The bottom line is. If a passenger can't respect the rights of other people and causes enough problems that the cruise authority personnel cannot control his/her actions they deserve to be throwed off the ship at the first port. Parents are responsible for the actions of their kids and if they can't control them they should get throwed off also!

Don't worry! After this happens a few times and word gets around Mom and Dad will keep a better watch on their family.

[RandomUsername723]

Good Lord, I knew there were problems but those groups seem to make the merely annoying teenagers I've recently had to put up with look like Saints! Sounds like someone's father forgot how to take off their belt and give 'em a good whipping. As cruel as it sounds, kids like that deserve it and some are foolish enough not to be kept in line any other way! Unbelieveable!

[cpabobby]

What I find really remarkable are the parents who manage to effect discipline in their children solely by their supervision, without having to resort to violence.

 

There is never a need to resort to violence because judicious spankings are effective enough without it.

[Bonnie&Rob]

I made it clear to my son (now 23) that if he EVER embarrassed me with his behavior, he could expect me to show up at his high school wearing a pink bathrobe, fuzzy slippers, rollers in my hair and a mudpack on my face. I would then go to his classroom and ask for my darling son by name.

 

Needless to say, he wasn't willing to take the chance I would follow through.

 

Should probably tell you all this is the Bonnie half of Bonnie&Rob, for those of you envisioning Rob with the curlers in his hair.... LOL

[Heidict]

I made it clear to my son (now 23) that if he EVER embarrassed me with his behavior, he could expect me to show up at his high school wearing a pink bathrobe, fuzzy slippers, rollers in my hair and a mudpack on my face. I would then go to his classroom and ask for my darling son by name.

 

Needless to say, he wasn't willing to take the chance I would follow through.

 

Should probably tell you all this is the Bonnie half of Bonnie&Rob, for those of you envisioning Rob with the curlers in his hair.... LOL

:D ROFL I love this idea. I will have to remember it so that I can use it to threaten my kids when we have one!!!

[LoriLinay]

Bonnie, that really made me chuckle... We are currently having some "issues" with my 9th grade son. I'm sure quite a bit of it is the adjustment to high school and the additional freedom. His grades slipped drastically and don't seem to be improving. I told him point blank that he has 2 weeks to get ALL those D's to B's or better. His teachers are with me on this and have given him the catch up work. The consequence if he doesn't?? I'm taking a day or two off of work, and following him around school. I'll tell him I love him in front of his friends, I'll eat lunch with him. I'll pat him on the head and call him mommies little boy. I told him I'd do this to make sure he is staying on task. Guess what? He got the grades back up in DAYS. Not the 2 weeks!

 

(A tiny little evil part of me almost wishes he didn't take care of the problem.....LOL....)

[goodml]

:D :D Lori Linay, Bonnie&Rob Love it, love it, love it.

 

These tactics are just my style. My 9th grade son (and his friends:) ) know without a doubt that I would pull one of these stunts in a heartbeat. Fear is a beautiful thing in a teenager!

[baseballmom]

Bonnie, that really made me chuckle... We are currently having some "issues" with my 9th grade son. I'm sure quite a bit of it is the adjustment to high school and the additional freedom. His grades slipped drastically and don't seem to be improving. I told him point blank that he has 2 weeks to get ALL those D's to B's or better. His teachers are with me on this and have given him the catch up work. The consequence if he doesn't?? I'm taking a day or two off of work, and following him around school. I'll tell him I love him in front of his friends, I'll eat lunch with him. I'll pat him on the head and call him mommies little boy. I told him I'd do this to make sure he is staying on task. Guess what? He got the grades back up in DAYS. Not the 2 weeks!

 

(A tiny little evil part of me almost wishes he didn't take care of the problem.....LOL....)

Hi Lori,

That is almost word for word what I told my son when he was in 7th grade and it worked perfectly. His counselor even encouraged me to attend classes with him, but it never came to that point. He's in 9th grade now and starting to slip back into his old habits, so again I've told him that I will arrange to accompany him for a day or a week if necessary. Now the humiliation would be even worse because his teammates would never let him live it down, and there is the girl factor to think about. As a former boss once told me, fear can be a powerful motivator! :D

 

Laurie