Help for a frump ...

[aruvqan]

The black caftan with a bold necklace might look nice.

The necklace in question is a fairly elaborate silver and lapis piece from Afghanistan ... it has the same colors as the hip scarf I would use.

[mangotangopls]

Happened to read thru this thread and kept thinking how thoughtful and kind posters were. They really are trying to reach out to encourage and help --- every variety of clothing can be seen onboard. While comfy inside the ship the sun can be really brutual if you are not dressed appropriately for it. And who wants to be sweaty anyway.

 

Seems like pretty good suggestions were given - I don't think "form fitting" is the same as clothing with a shape either. I also work with handicapped people - daily they wear lots of comfy looking clothing with give to it. Basically a close version of what others around them are wearing. I'm guessing you are expressing your individuality by wearing the caftans and dressing different but are they really your most flattering look?

 

We also put on a formal dinner dance as well as a prom every year for our clients. The ladies and girls dress up in beautiful gowns and dresses. They look fantastic. Lots of pretty light colors and some with flowers in their hair. They love getting their framed picture from the dance (yes, they enjoy the dance in their wheelchairs and with walkers or whatever) and seeing how special and beautiful they look. Their happiness and fun shines out.

 

I hope you can find that special outfit that helps makes you feel wonderful. Maybe some pretty colors and your lovely jewelry would be flattering but for goodness sakes, do dress for the climate and give the suggestions a chance. ;) Really do hope you enjoy your cruise!

[TrevyMcShaw]

This is from one of my favorite sites. It's a 3 piece set that has a duster jacket, in case you're like me and don't just love the look of bare arms. What do you think? It comes in sizes up to 3x and in about 8 different colors.

[Happy ks]

Give up the hair and makeup issue, flogging a dead horse ... and I happen to LIKE loose fitting clothing. I happen to feel that in form fitting clothing I look like a stuffed sausage with rolls hanging out all over. I happen to detest that look as it to me appears slovenly. Properly fit loose clothing has a modesty to it that does not appear like I *think* i am 3 sizes smaller than I actually am.

 

I have enough issues with appearance being fat, as many people associate it with slovenly lazy gluttonous behaviors. It is amazing how many times I get told I am fat because I am lazy and sit on my ass all day eating candy. I have actually had a doctor tell me that to my face in the presence of my husband when I went in to get dx for gaining 150 lbs in 3 years. I have been diabetic and on a very strict diet since 1980, and I do not sit on my ass and pop bonbons. My best defense to being considered a fat slob is actually care in dressing. My hair is always clean, brushed and styled [now tied back or braided, or dressed with combs] and I am always showered and in clean clothing.

 

Frelling forgive me for laughing at myself and calling myself a frump.

 

 

Forgive me for trying to help. I think I understand now that you don't really want any.

[royalcruz]

The necklace in question is a fairly elaborate silver and lapis piece from Afghanistan ... it has the same colors as the hip scarf I would use.

 

What kind of scarf? If it is sheer or silky it may look nice. Most of the scarves I've seen in the stores this year are very casual.

[Bunti]

Seeing the pic of the OP before her disability, I have a suggestion.

 

Aruvan have you checked out "holy clothing?" It is on ebay, they have lovely fabrics, all sizes, and some (most) of them have a Ren-fair type feel. They have dresses, caftans, blouses, skirts, etc. Quirky, but well made and very inexpensive. I have a hunch you will like them. I am going to try to post a picture....of a black semi-formal top t hope it works. Check em out on ebay, or do a google search. Good luck.

[aruvqan]

This is from one of my favorite sites. It's a 3 piece set that has a duster jacket, in case you're like me and don't just love the look of bare arms. What do you think? It comes in sizes up to 3x and in about 8 different colors.

URL please? Is one of the colors a darker blue, I really want an excuse for my silver and lapis necklace...

[Milaandra]

Oh, a Scadian! You can incorporate your love of historic costuming in your day-to-day fashion.

Get yourself some Indian salwar & tunic sets. Pretty, feminine, loose, cool and non-conformist! You can get cotton ones for day and fancier silk or chiffon ones for formal wear.

If you want to go more Elizabethan in flavour, your formalwear can be flowing pants or skirt, a long jewel-toned silk blouse and a bodice. If you will be sitting most of the time, you might want to go more Italian Renn with the bodice. The shorter waist will be more comfortable and flattering in a seated position.

Have you tried mineral make-up, such as Pur? If I use low-mica formulas, I don’t have any sensitivity, which is rare and wonderful for me. I don’t wear anything but lipstick during the day, but dressing up at night seems to require the extra polish and/or drama of makeup.

Growing out layers can be messy, I know! Putting your hair up can instantly look nicer for evening, and can add some formal class to a simple outfit.

I used to be a Scadian, too, also specializing in Tudor. Then I switched to mid-Victorian and believe me, Victorian corsetry isn’t all about compression either. In fact, it’s more comfortable than Tudor, because there is room built-in for the breasts. Check out Simplicity’s Kay Gnagey corset.

[aruvqan]

What kind of scarf? If it is sheer or silky it may look nice. Most of the scarves I've seen in the stores this year are very casual.

a very large batik silk square, cant find it online though. Mainly a medium blue, with a bit of white/pale blue and a very dark blue. I got it in the early 80s

 

hmmm,.

 

Sort of http://www.oneworldhull.co.uk/graphics/shop/accessories/batik_scarves_detail.jpg but all blue tones with a tiny bit of seriously dark indigo that looks almost black. I actually really like the addition of the rust color in this one.

[aruvqan]

Seeing the pic of the OP before her disability, I have a suggestion.

 

Aruvan have you checked out "holy clothing?" It is on ebay, they have lovely fabrics, all sizes, and some (most) of them have a Ren-fair type feel. They have dresses, caftans, blouses, skirts, etc. Quirky, but well made and very inexpensive. I have a hunch you will like them. I am going to try to post a picture....of a black semi-formal top t hope it works. Check em out on ebay, or do a google search. Good luck.

I have a top fairly similar to this, but it is a knit almost tshirt sort of material, would that still work?

[aruvqan]

Oh, a Scadian! You can incorporate your love of historic costuming in your day-to-day fashion.

 

Get yourself some Indian salwar & tunic sets. Pretty, feminine, loose, cool and non-conformist! You can get cotton ones for day and fancier silk or chiffon ones for formal wear.

 

If you want to go more Elizabethan in flavour, your formalwear can be flowing pants or skirt, a long jewel-toned silk blouse and a bodice. If you will be sitting most of the time, you might want to go more Italian Renn with the bodice. The shorter waist will be more comfortable and flattering in a seated position.

 

Have you tried mineral make-up, such as Pur? If I use low-mica formulas, I don’t have any sensitivity, which is rare and wonderful for me. I don’t wear anything but lipstick during the day, but dressing up at night seems to require the extra polish and/or drama of makeup.

 

Growing out layers can be messy, I know! Putting your hair up can instantly look nicer for evening, and can add some formal class to a simple outfit.

 

I used to be a Scadian, too, also specializing in Tudor. Then I switched to mid-Victorian and believe me, Victorian corsetry isn’t all about compression either. In fact, it’s more comfortable than Tudor, because there is room built-in for the breasts. Check out Simplicity’s Kay Gnagey corset.

I have salwar kameez for pennsic ... the black velvet lizzie is unbearably hot in August ...Odd, I have done regency and victorian, and I have been properly fit, and was not comfortable . I was told it was because I am exceptionally long waisted, just totally the wrong proportions for the style [though regency grecian revival was interesting. I was thrilled when Titanic brought it back into fashion]

 

I think the layered hair was one of my biggest mistakes ever - I have a fairly round face normally, and it just was all wrong, I look better with a closer to teh head style, which is why I normally use combs or braids. I had very long hair pre chemo [1995] and unfortunately my hair has never been the same. Though I like the grey in it.

 

Even the indian earth gives me zit issues. My pores are very unforgiving, and if I use eyeliner or eyeshadows I get dandruff in my eyelashes. About the most I use is lip gloss. Luckily, I have excellent skin so I dont feel the need to cover my freckles. i can remember growing up wishing I could tan enough to make them run all together ... glad I resisted because I would look like leather if I did!

[Milaandra]

I have salwar kameez for pennsic ... ...Odd, I have done regency and victorian, and I have been properly fit, and was not comfortable .

 

So wear 'em! They'll look way nicer than sweats.

 

Properly fit by whom? :eek: I can't imagine Victorian being less comfortable than 16th century...Regency if you have the long-line corset with the busk...okay, that might be uncomfortable. Thankfully there are so many choices in Regency.

 

It's been years and years since I've been to Pennsic...

[Bunti]

I have a top fairly similar to this, but it is a knit almost tshirt sort of material, would that still work?

 

The material in the blouse I posted is described as:"even more details - like the quality of the cut - luxury of the fabrics (butter-soft washed viscose with jacquard inlays) - flare of the hem and the stunning embroidery (including lace embroidery). Discreet, tempting, tasteful and gorgeous."

 

T-shirt material would make it more casual, okay for non formal nights, but not really formal.

 

I agree with Milaandra.....capitalize on your love of costuming, let your personality shine through. DON"T however follow through with your self identification as a frump by sticking only to sweats. I think you will be able to put some good looks together if you open your mind to them.

[Jules59]

Give up the hair and makeup issue, flogging a dead horse ... and I happen to LIKE loose fitting clothing. I happen to feel that in form fitting clothing I look like a stuffed sausage with rolls hanging out all over. I happen to detest that look as it to me appears slovenly. Properly fit loose clothing has a modesty to it that does not appear like I *think* i am 3 sizes smaller than I actually am.

 

I have enough issues with appearance being fat, as many people associate it with slovenly lazy gluttonous behaviors. It is amazing how many times I get told I am fat because I am lazy and sit on my ass all day eating candy. I have actually had a doctor tell me that to my face in the presence of my husband when I went in to get dx for gaining 150 lbs in 3 years. I have been diabetic and on a very strict diet since 1980, and I do not sit on my ass and pop bonbons. My best defense to being considered a fat slob is actually care in dressing. My hair is always clean, brushed and styled [now tied back or braided, or dressed with combs] and I am always showered and in clean clothing.

 

Frelling forgive me for laughing at myself and calling myself a frump.

 

 

WOW, after reading this, I have tears in my eyes. I'm thinking maybe on our upcoming cruise I should just stay in our cabin and eat from room service every day. You have wrecked any confidence I had in myself. We were just trying to help.

[TrevyMcShaw]

http://www.ashro.com/Clothing/Ashros-Best/3-Piece-Duster-Pant-Set-11.pro?fpi=25536&catCd=PW

 

Here is the link to the site. Very stylish clothing.

[royalcruz]

a very large batik silk square, cant find it online though. Mainly a medium blue, with a bit of white/pale blue and a very dark blue. I got it in the early 80s

 

hmmm,.

 

Sort of http://www.oneworldhull.co.uk/graphics/shop/accessories/batik_scarves_detail.jpg but all blue tones with a tiny bit of seriously dark indigo that looks almost black. I actually really like the addition of the rust color in this one.

 

Very pretty, but it doesn't look "formal". Fondly, it reminds me of a large scarf my hippy friend had hanging from her dorm room ceiling in 1983, along with a beaded curtain. We used to listen to great 60s and 70s records under the scarf.

[aruvqan]

So wear 'em! They'll look way nicer than sweats.

 

Properly fit by whom? :eek: I can't imagine Victorian being less comfortable than 16th century...Regency if you have the long-line corset with the busk...okay, that might be uncomfortable. Thankfully there are so many choices in Regency.

 

It's been years and years since I've been to Pennsic...

Actually properly fitted by me and my husband =) I make elizabethan costuming for fun and profit occasionally. I made the clothing in that picture =)

 

Elizabethan is more of an ice cream cone profile, it smooths the silhouette. Regency and victorian actually compress to get the various looks [and believe me, unless you body train, pouter pigeon is damnedably intolerable.]

 

You should think of going again some time. The classes they have are amazing, and the shopping /swoon!

[aruvqan]

http://www.ashro.com/Clothing/Ashros-Best/3-Piece-Duster-Pant-Set-11.pro?fpi=25536&catCd=PW

 

Here is the link to the site. Very stylish clothing.

That in purple is amazing .. thanks!

[Iluvmypuggle]

WOW, after reading this, I have tears in my eyes. I'm thinking maybe on our upcoming cruise I should just stay in our cabin and eat from room service every day. You have wrecked any confidence I had in myself. We were just trying to help.

 

Hi Jules. I am surprised that the OP thinks that most people's perception of anyone overweight is that they sit on their butt eating candy all day. I've struggled with weight issues my whole life and have seen others do so as well and I've never felt like people think everyone with weight issues are heavy from being gluttonous, lazy people.

 

I did think her post was a little depressing, but certainly nothing that should take away anyone else's confidence.

 

No one should stay in a cabin because they don't feel comfortable enough to strut their stuff. Everyone is beautiful in his/her own way and you have to feel that way or your own confidence won't come through.

 

To all the ladies reading this, if you take a little bit of pride in the way you look and spend a little bit of time on yourself, you will feel good. And feeling good is key to looking good.

 

We should be building each other's confidence; not bringing others down.

[aruvqan]

Hi Jules. I am surprised that the OP thinks that most people's perception of anyone overweight is that they sit on their butt eating candy all day. I've struggled with weight issues my whole life and have seen others do so as well and I've never felt like people think everyone with weight issues are heavy from being gluttonous, lazy people.

 

I did think her post was a little depressing, but certainly nothing that should take away anyone else's confidence.

 

No one should stay in a cabin because they don't feel comfortable enough to strut their stuff. Everyone is beautiful in his/her own way and you have to feel that way or your own confidence won't come through.

 

To all the ladies reading this, if you take a little bit of pride in the way you look and spend a little bit of time on yourself, you will feel good. And feeling good is key to looking good.

 

We should be building each other's confidence; not bringing others down.

I have the impression Jules was actually trashing on me, not that she was serious about being depressed. I have a very good sarcasm sense. I was actually ignoring that crack of hers.

 

You are correct, we need to be positive in our self image. I have struggled with public opinion, being fat in a thin world sucks ass. Believe me, if I go out to eat and have a second helping of anything, or the temerity to actually eat a dessert *gasp* I am a fat greedy slob that obviously ate my way to obesity. It has actually taken me a fairly long time to be able to actually joke about being fat, and joke about being a gimp. It is better to laugh at ones self before someone can spear you with their wit. I would rather call myself a frump first, before someone makes the crack about wearing fat woman mumus, or clothing by omar the tentmaker.

 

And to bring this back to the positive, I just made reservations for our 19th anniversary/honeymoon cruise, Feb 5th Eastern Carribbean on Explorer of the Seas.

 

So, How do I get one of those neat countdown sigs?

[knittinggirl]

Hi there,

 

Us frumps unite! Be comfortable is my motto!

 

I'm also a plus size girl. My husband walks with a limp, so we have to be careful what we do. We took some ancient ruins and the guide, Mr. Gonzales, walked so fast, my husband fell down. Gave new meaning to the term Speedy Gonzales.

 

I bought some Island Palazzo Pants from Deva Life Wear. They're made of cotton, and really loose. Great for the Caribbean. And they give the legs some cover from the sun. BUT, I'd still apply sunscreen. I think all day moisturizers should come with 30 SPF!

 

Regarding formal night, I don't see why we must have a different dress for every formal night. On our last cruise, we ended up returning 15 minutes late, so we missed the first formal night. No sweat! I found a cute dress at ColdWaterCreek. Not a real formal, but still cute. Most people are pretty lax about formal night anyway. One lady at our table donned a fancy blouse, while the other lady dressed looked like she stepped out of a fashion show each night.

 

Also regarding formal night, once we took my husband's wedding suit, and that time RCCL lost our luggage, temporarily. We hated to think we'd lost his $400 wedding suit, and two handknit sweaters. So, I add to all this, don't check anything you don't want to lose. So, leave the $400 wedding suit at home.

 

I haven't worn heels in forever, and can you imagine me trying to walk with my ankles wiggling. Not to mention the aching feet, annoying heel spur and all that. Really sharp! Besides, I only packed two sets of Rockport World Tours. I skipped the photographers, and put our camera on a pod, and lined it up to skip the feet. At least I was comfortable.

 

We're probably a-typical cruisers. We spend all this money for cruising, get the cruise company to splurge on our airfare, took a post night on our last cruise, but refuse to buy any alcohol, no photos (ours are fine) and no drink packages!

 

Also, be sure to book a spa treatment. We didn't do this until our fifth cruise. I walked into our stateroom and informed my husband I'd booked the mud room. Now they're calling it Couples Rasul. He probably thought I'd gone insane, but it was one of the highlights of our cruise. On our next cruise, he suggested Couples Rasul.

 

Don't feel nervous about your weight, you will just fit in with everyone else. At least they made the seats a little bigger on our last cruise!

 

P. S. We purchased some travel vests from Magellans, and they made a world of difference. I loaded them with all my stuff: inhaler, disinfecting wipes, kleenex, cruise card, keep me alive pills . . .

[knittinggirl]

Cant wear makeup =) even the seriously expensive hypoallergenic stuff [for decades my mum kept buying me stuff, ranging from Clinique to Mary Kay to the newest crap out there ... I actually have pristine unzitty skin, in a fairly light porcelain with freckles that goes nicely with my auburn side of brunette/lightly greyed hair and blue eyes. .... Here is me before the degenerative joint issue started, about 8 years ago. Pity elizabethan isnt considered formal any longer :D

 

As you can see, I am a plus size, and a self described frump mainly because with joint issues I need to dress for comfort more than glitz. As I said, I tend to dress in my palazzos with a polo which is more or less considered office casual. I have a swimsuit [i use hot tubs as physio for pain. I'm pumped that there are hot tubs available on board! I can get a good 4 hours of movement from a half an hour soak.]

 

I am more just worried about formal night, as most comfy clothing isn't overly formal ... unless I can get away with wearing a floor length kaftan with very elaborate jewelry and a hip scarf SCA style ... ;)

 

I've been using Bare Escentuals. It's the only make-up I've worn daily for well over a year!

[Jules59]

I have the impression Jules was actually trashing on me, not that she was serious about being depressed. I have a very good sarcasm sense. I was actually ignoring that crack of hers.

 

You are correct, we need to be positive in our self image. I have struggled with public opinion, being fat in a thin world sucks ass. Believe me, if I go out to eat and have a second helping of anything, or the temerity to actually eat a dessert *gasp* I am a fat greedy slob that obviously ate my way to obesity. It has actually taken me a fairly long time to be able to actually joke about being fat, and joke about being a gimp. It is better to laugh at ones self before someone can spear you with their wit. I would rather call myself a frump first, before someone makes the crack about wearing fat woman mumus, or clothing by omar the tentmaker.

 

And to bring this back to the positive, I just made reservations for our 19th anniversary/honeymoon cruise, Feb 5th Eastern Carribbean on Explorer of the Seas.

 

So, How do I get one of those neat countdown sigs?

 

Thank you Ilouvmypuggle. As for the OP, I'm sorry I tried to befriend you. I have a lot of other health problems and do not get out of the house for a few weeks at a time. Now I know why i haven't heard back from my friend request. I'm off of this post now.

[dustyroad]

First off, I think you need to think better of yourself. We can all be beautiful but it starts inside our head, between our ears :).

 

I'd start with hair and makeup, a new "do" and a visit to a makeup counter for a bit of color to the eyes, lips and cheeks can make you brighter and feel so good about yourself.

 

Next would be the clothing. I'd ask the advice of a trusted but honest friend or family member to come along on a shopping expedition. I'm not saying you have to purchase a whole new wardrobe, but a few pieces to make you feel good.

 

My mantra is to never buy anything I don't love and....never buy "cruise clothes", you'll never wear them again and it is a waste of clothing budget to do so. There are pieces out there that travel well and are suitable for cruises and home.

 

Unless you are cruising Alaska, leave the sweats at home. If you can't wear shorts, try a light cotton knit or linen pants (yes I know it wrinkles), some lightweight cotton T-shirts or blouses and maybe one sun dress for day wear. Take a bathing suit, you will be surprised what you see in a bathing suit on a cruise ship and may feel right at home wearing one yourself.

 

Your pallazzo pants will be fine for formal night with a nice top, it doesn't have to sparkle of be a color, or any night you care to wear them with a less formal top. There is no need to hide away in your cabin because of your clothes. Get busy and start now, you only have a few months to transform yourself from "fat and frumpy" to "large and lovely".

 

We're with you here all the way if you need to ask or vent :);) Please stay around and keep us posted!

 

HappyKs is so right with her post. i love my '' just my size '' lightweight cotton pants with elastic waistband. they are so comfy and i can get them for about $9 at walmart. tshirts are great to wear also. for formal night get a top that will go with your palozzo pants that you could wear to church or a wedding. you will look fine and be comfortable. the new hairdo and a little makeup will also make you feel more '' unfrumpy'' and in style for your cruise. find a swimsuit coverup to wear over your suit at the pool and in the lido area. it will cover you up and make you feel more comfortable with youself. it helps me anyway. you are going to look just fine and have a good time. you will fit right in and have a wonderful cruise.

[Colorado Kat]

I tend to go with the black pants, black tank-top or dressy t-shirt, and then some kind of brighter colored jacket. Makes it easy to pack, since I can re-wear the base outfit, and just change out the jacket or vest. (I figure I only wear the pants/shirt for a few hours at dinner, and then change.)

 

Kathy