Help for a frump ...

[aruvqan]

Hi, we are going on our first cruise ever [hopefully this feb, waiting for a contact from Royal Carribean as we need a handicapped berthing] and I have absolutely no idea what to wear ... I grew up watching Love Boat!

 

Im movement impaired, I use either a chair or crutches if it is a good pain day. At home I tend to wear tshirt and sweats all the time, and about as fancy as I get is Deva Lifewears's palazzo pants in black and a banded bottom polo. Im fat, as in 3X, and a frump. I figured we would be ok wearing sweats to the pools, and brunch and palazzos/polo to casual dinner, but what to do for formal night. I dont *do* formal as normally the clothing is seriously expensive and shopping for fatties is a pain in the arse as I detest polyester mumus and stuff with lots of bright patterns and colors and sparklies.

 

Should I just say sod it all and do room service and not worry about dressing up? [My husband can cheat and wear navy dress blues *sigh* so he doesnt have to worry ... ]

[Happy ks]

First off, I think you need to think better of yourself. We can all be beautiful but it starts inside our head, between our ears :).

 

I'd start with hair and makeup, a new "do" and a visit to a makeup counter for a bit of color to the eyes, lips and cheeks can make you brighter and feel so good about yourself.

 

Next would be the clothing. I'd ask the advice of a trusted but honest friend or family member to come along on a shopping expedition. I'm not saying you have to purchase a whole new wardrobe, but a few pieces to make you feel good.

 

My mantra is to never buy anything I don't love and....never buy "cruise clothes", you'll never wear them again and it is a waste of clothing budget to do so. There are pieces out there that travel well and are suitable for cruises and home.

 

Unless you are cruising Alaska, leave the sweats at home. If you can't wear shorts, try a light cotton knit or linen pants (yes I know it wrinkles), some lightweight cotton T-shirts or blouses and maybe one sun dress for day wear. Take a bathing suit, you will be surprised what you see in a bathing suit on a cruise ship and may feel right at home wearing one yourself.

 

Your pallazzo pants will be fine for formal night with a nice top, it doesn't have to sparkle of be a color, or any night you care to wear them with a less formal top. There is no need to hide away in your cabin because of your clothes. Get busy and start now, you only have a few months to transform yourself from "fat and frumpy" to "large and lovely".

 

We're with you here all the way if you need to ask or vent :);) Please stay around and keep us posted!

[kazakaza]

Hi there, I am too a larger lady and went on my first cruise in 2007 feeling fat and frumpy but i bought some essential pieces a long evening skirt which looks lovely with a selection of tops, I had many compliments despite being larger and not feeling particularly elegant so please think others see you diffenrently to what you see yourself. I bought some inexpensive items on ebay for my size and they are lovely I feel beutiful when onboard now and I am sure you will also, please let us know if you manage to find anything and enjoy your first cruise with Royal Caribbean, I am sure you will we was hooked after the first one. Karen

[cb at sea]

If you're going to the Caribbean, you aren't going to want to wear sweats to the pool---you will melt! It's HOT! Get something lightweight and comfy!

 

Don't worry about your size----you will NOT be the largest...I guarantee it!

Your "formalwear" doesn't have to be garish and mumu-ish! Most evening pants do come in larger sizes, and almost always have elastic waists...very comfy. There are so many "simple" tops, that don't have the sparkles and beading.....

I'm sure, if you try, you'll find something that will make you feel lovely and still be comfortable!

[Jules59]

Read down to the " Plus size formal clothes" thread. There are a lot of good web sites where you can order almost anything you want for size. I know, I started that thread.:) Go get your hair done, have your makeup done, maybe at a department store makeup counter? A lot of them do it for no charge. Although, they will push their product on you. Just make sure when you get your hair and makeup done, tell them you want it done in a way that will be easy for you to maintain. And most of all, relax and enjoy your cruise!

[Happy ks]

Read down to the " Plus size formal clothes" thread. There are a lot of good web sites where you can order almost anything you want for size. I know, I started that thread.:) Go get your hair done, have your makeup done, maybe at a department store makeup counter? A lot of them do it for no charge. Although, they will push their product on you. Just make sure when you get your hair and makeup done, tell them you want it done in a way that will be easy for you to maintain. And most of all, relax and enjoy your cruise!

 

 

Never, ever feel an obligation to purchase just because it is recommended. Too many people don't know how to say "No, thank you". I purchase most of my cosmetics from Nordstrom and don't feel pressured to buy a thing, I make my own choices, sometimes with assistance. It's actually a good way to buy cosmetics if you time it right and buy when they have a giveaway. I hardly ever buy eye shadow any more and always seem to have eye cream, makeup remover etc... from sample giveaways. Lancome, Clinique, Estee Lauder all have great promotions at times.

[CowPrincess]

If you DO say "sod it all" and stay in your cabin for formal night, you'll be missing an enjoyable evening. On land, I'm in the "frumpy" category -- blue jeans and fleece :) On a ship, it is my chance to show/enjoy the other fashionable side of me.

 

Decide right away whether you will use your w/c on formal nights, because that will affect what you can wear, I suspect. If you're in your w/c consider a black skirt, a simple black top and a sparkly/metallic throw for your shoulders (maybe pinned in an attractive drape). And a nice pair of earrings. It doesn't have to be fussy OR expensive to qualify as "adequate for formal night".

 

Go, enjoy, admire your hubby in his dress blues :)

[yogi2929]

Read down to the " Plus size formal clothes" thread. There are a lot of good web sites where you can order almost anything you want for size. I know, I started that thread.:) Go get your hair done, have your makeup done, maybe at a department store makeup counter? A lot of them do it for no charge. Although, they will push their product on you. Just make sure when you get your hair and makeup done, tell them you want it done in a way that will be easy for you to maintain. And most of all, relax and enjoy your cruise!

 

 

Here is the link-

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1075547

[Cozzette2]

If you DO say "sod it all" and stay in your cabin for formal night, you'll be missing an enjoyable evening. On land, I'm in the "frumpy" category -- blue jeans and fleece :) On a ship, it is my chance to show/enjoy the other fashionable side of me.

 

Decide right away whether you will use your w/c on formal nights, because that will affect what you can wear, I suspect. If you're in your w/c consider a black skirt, a simple black top and a sparkly/metallic throw for your shoulders (maybe pinned in an attractive drape). And a nice pair of earrings. It doesn't have to be fussy OR expensive to qualify as "adequate for formal night".

 

Go, enjoy, admire your hubby in his dress blues :)

 

I agree with the idea of a few black essentials, skirt, top and different scarves as you can really change up the look buy changing accesories.

My MIL is in a wheelchair and I know it is hard to dress so that skirts don't catch up in the wheels but maybe even some black pilazzo pants would be comfy.

Please don't miss out on all the fun because of your weight. I did that for many years and missed out on lots of fun and then I found out that no one cared but me. Go and have a ball.

Kris

[TrevyMcShaw]

Try some cotton knit capris for the day time. The palazzo pants with a flowing top, or just a nice pantsuit would be great for the dining room on any night, including formal night. You can be beautiful no matter what size you are.

[MHF]

My mom wore a bright blue sweater set with her black palazzo pants on Royal Carribbean's formal night during our girls-only cruise. Paired with a terrific necklace and stud earrings. She looked fab and you will too!

 

And I second the motion to buy new lipstick...always makes me feel good.

 

Melissa

[mamasue]

I'm in agreement with the other posters.... you don't have to feel frumpy because you're heavy!!

My best friend is plus-plus-plus size.... she's one of the most beautiful women I know!!

A nice pair of black pants with a pretty sparkly top.... some lake-up, hair done nicely, with some nice jewelry (not necessarily expensive).....

You'll feel and look a million dollars!!

Forget room service or the buffet..... enjoy formal night.... even have some nice formal photos taken to remember the moment!!! :)

[Jane110]

First off, I think you need to think better of yourself. We can all be beautiful but it starts inside our head, between our ears :).

 

I'd start with hair and makeup, a new "do" and a visit to a makeup counter for a bit of color to the eyes, lips and cheeks can make you brighter and feel so good about yourself.

 

Next would be the clothing. I'd ask the advice of a trusted but honest friend or family member to come along on a shopping expedition. I'm not saying you have to purchase a whole new wardrobe, but a few pieces to make you feel good.

 

My mantra is to never buy anything I don't love and....never buy "cruise clothes", you'll never wear them again and it is a waste of clothing budget to do so. There are pieces out there that travel well and are suitable for cruises and home.

 

Unless you are cruising Alaska, leave the sweats at home. If you can't wear shorts, try a light cotton knit or linen pants (yes I know it wrinkles), some lightweight cotton T-shirts or blouses and maybe one sun dress for day wear. Take a bathing suit, you will be surprised what you see in a bathing suit on a cruise ship and may feel right at home wearing one yourself.

 

Your pallazzo pants will be fine for formal night with a nice top, it doesn't have to sparkle of be a color, or any night you care to wear them with a less formal top. There is no need to hide away in your cabin because of your clothes. Get busy and start now, you only have a few months to transform yourself from "fat and frumpy" to "large and lovely".

 

We're with you here all the way if you need to ask or vent :);) Please stay around and keep us posted!

 

 

I totally agree.

 

However, I don't agree with going to get a "free" makeover at a dept store unless you really plan on buying something.

If you have a Sephora store near you, I'd go there as the makeup people will use a variety of brands on you, which is better.

 

Ask your regular hairstylist for some options you might want to consider to make your hair look a little more special on the formal night, but I wouldn't waste money on the ship's hair salon.

 

Do add some sparkly earrings, and a big smile and enjoy!

[royalcruz]

If you wear all black and some sparkly jewelry, you will look dressed up. But if it feels like too much for you to deal with, just go to the buffet...whatever you do, don't stay in your room.:) Maybe seeing other plus sized women dressed up will inspire you.

[cobbmom123]

I agree with everyone else, don't skip the dining room just because of this!!! I know alot of people in wheelchairs, especially larger sized people, aren't comfortable in skirts and dresses. Go for some black pants, they can even be palazzo pants or simple elastic waist pants. I think it'd look smashing with a simple top with a wrap on top. You can find some nice tops at places like Target for minimal cost. Dress it up with jewelry, you can find inexpensive dressy jewelry at places like Target, Kohls, etc.

You will burn up in sweats, buy some light weight elastic waist pants and you will be just as comfy without being miserably hot.

And definitely get a swimsuit! Since you have limited mobility and mention that you suffer from pain, I promise you will feel better if you will spend some time in the water!!

[aruvqan]

First off, I think you need to think better of yourself. We can all be beautiful but it starts inside our head, between our ears :).

 

I'd start with hair and makeup, a new "do" and a visit to a makeup counter for a bit of color to the eyes, lips and cheeks can make you brighter and feel so good about yourself.

 

Next would be the clothing. I'd ask the advice of a trusted but honest friend or family member to come along on a shopping expedition. I'm not saying you have to purchase a whole new wardrobe, but a few pieces to make you feel good.

 

My mantra is to never buy anything I don't love and....never buy "cruise clothes", you'll never wear them again and it is a waste of clothing budget to do so. There are pieces out there that travel well and are suitable for cruises and home.

 

Unless you are cruising Alaska, leave the sweats at home. If you can't wear shorts, try a light cotton knit or linen pants (yes I know it wrinkles), some lightweight cotton T-shirts or blouses and maybe one sun dress for day wear. Take a bathing suit, you will be surprised what you see in a bathing suit on a cruise ship and may feel right at home wearing one yourself.

 

Your pallazzo pants will be fine for formal night with a nice top, it doesn't have to sparkle of be a color, or any night you care to wear them with a less formal top. There is no need to hide away in your cabin because of your clothes. Get busy and start now, you only have a few months to transform yourself from "fat and frumpy" to "large and lovely".

 

We're with you here all the way if you need to ask or vent :);) Please stay around and keep us posted!

Cant wear makeup =) even the seriously expensive hypoallergenic stuff [for decades my mum kept buying me stuff, ranging from Clinique to Mary Kay to the newest crap out there ... I actually have pristine unzitty skin, in a fairly light porcelain with freckles that goes nicely with my auburn side of brunette/lightly greyed hair and blue eyes. .... Here is me before the degenerative joint issue started, about 8 years ago. Pity elizabethan isnt considered formal any longer :D

 

As you can see, I am a plus size, and a self described frump mainly because with joint issues I need to dress for comfort more than glitz. As I said, I tend to dress in my palazzos with a polo which is more or less considered office casual. I have a swimsuit [i use hot tubs as physio for pain. I'm pumped that there are hot tubs available on board! I can get a good 4 hours of movement from a half an hour soak.]

 

I am more just worried about formal night, as most comfy clothing isn't overly formal ... unless I can get away with wearing a floor length kaftan with very elaborate jewelry and a hip scarf SCA style ... ;)

[aruvqan]

If you DO say "sod it all" and stay in your cabin for formal night, you'll be missing an enjoyable evening. On land, I'm in the "frumpy" category -- blue jeans and fleece :) On a ship, it is my chance to show/enjoy the other fashionable side of me.

 

Decide right away whether you will use your w/c on formal nights, because that will affect what you can wear, I suspect. If you're in your w/c consider a black skirt, a simple black top and a sparkly/metallic throw for your shoulders (maybe pinned in an attractive drape). And a nice pair of earrings. It doesn't have to be fussy OR expensive to qualify as "adequate for formal night".

 

Go, enjoy, admire your hubby in his dress blues :)

He got me the most amazing earrings for my birthday ... I adore peacocks, and they are some sort of wierd wirework in titanium that is all peacock colors, so I know I am taking them, and I have a Lia Sofia necklace that compliments it. Still working on clothing. I am growing out my hair, so I tend to use combs to keep it out of my face [it is just bra length and now working on getting the damned layers gone!]

 

Just clothing *sigh* left...

[aruvqan]

Try some cotton knit capris for the day time. The palazzo pants with a flowing top, or just a nice pantsuit would be great for the dining room on any night, including formal night. You can be beautiful no matter what size you are.

Not overly fond of capris .... the deva palazzos are a nice heavyish nubbly all cotton woven cloth that wears like iron and is comfortable.

I have very long legs, so they are not quite this long on me and I don't like the way the top looks on me. I actually have 7 pair in black [a previous job required black pants, in a call center :rolleyes: that no customers ever came into!] and if I find something I like, I tend to buy it in job lots.

 

I also have their kaftan in black and natural

 

that is my favorite muck around the house after a shower gear.

 

I can really recommend their clothing for comfort and durability, my hubby has a pair of pants that I bought him almost 22 years ago with very little wear around the edges.

[aruvqan]

I agree with everyone else, don't skip the dining room just because of this!!! I know alot of people in wheelchairs, especially larger sized people, aren't comfortable in skirts and dresses. Go for some black pants, they can even be palazzo pants or simple elastic waist pants. I think it'd look smashing with a simple top with a wrap on top. You can find some nice tops at places like Target for minimal cost. Dress it up with jewelry, you can find inexpensive dressy jewelry at places like Target, Kohls, etc.

You will burn up in sweats, buy some light weight elastic waist pants and you will be just as comfy without being miserably hot.

And definitely get a swimsuit! Since you have limited mobility and mention that you suffer from pain, I promise you will feel better if you will spend some time in the water!!

I am definitely planning on hot tub time ... it is how I normally reduce pain [i actually am one of those people who's doctor prescribed a hot tub, legitemately. If you have joint issues and space for one, give it a try. Makes a serious difference]

 

Oddly enough, I find sweats very comfortable winter or summer ... though Im now going through forced menopause and the hot flashes are *odd* [they are not hot flashes, it is my inner child playing with matches!]

 

Though I am really not into jewelry [especially rings and bracelets] I have some nice pieces.

 

I just really dress frumpily .... *sigh*

[Romy40]

For my patients in wheelchairs, I recommend a black pin stripe VEST. Vests are typically shorter in the back (so no bunching up of fabric back there), and longer in the front (so your crotch is covered).

Vests can be quite formal with the right blouse, brooch, etc.

They are popular now too.

Best wishes.

[TrevyMcShaw]

Are you doing a Caribbean itinerary? If so, you are definitely going to want something, anything, cooler than sweats to wear into port and on deck on sea days. I am just concerned that you won't enjoy your cruise to the fullest if you go unprepared for the hot Caribbean sun and the Caribbean humidity.

[Happy ks]

I'm not quite sure what you are asking of people. When you come and ask for advice, then immediately make excuses for all the suggestions people are giving you, what were you expecting?

 

I believe everyone has beauty, they just have to find it. It doesn't matter your weight, your skin, your hair color...there is always room for improvement or change in all of us.

 

So, I'm going to stand by my very first statement. I think you need to start thinking better of yourself, true beauty starts between the ears in anyones head.

 

Why not try a bit of change? Some different well fitting clothing in a more flattering shape than those tent shapes you are showing. Clothing doesnt' have to be that loose to be comfortable. I understand your resistance to makeup, but a bit of lip gloss or eye shadow will brighten your face, as would a new hairstyle.

 

I also work with handicapped and I have never seen anyone wear huge clothing like that. Jeans can be purchased that have stretch and a elastic waistband. Lightweight knit pants are comfortable in a wheelchair, as are knit tops that aren't so bulky.

 

Have a trusted friend assist you with shopping and try some new things, you don't have to go through life feeling like a frump, I swear.

[royalcruz]

The black caftan with a bold necklace might look nice.

[aruvqan]

For my patients in wheelchairs, I recommend a black pin stripe VEST. Vests are typically shorter in the back (so no bunching up of fabric back there), and longer in the front (so your crotch is covered).

Vests can be quite formal with the right blouse, brooch, etc.

They are popular now too.

Best wishes.

Never really been fond of vests, though I do like my elizabethan corset and bodice. A corset when fit properly has killer back support, and unlike a victorian one isnt for maximum compression of the ribs and abdomen, just a light shaping.

 

Makes me wish it was a halloween cruise =) Maybe in a couple years we'll do a halloween one =)

[aruvqan]

 

Why not try a bit of change? Some different well fitting clothing in a more flattering shape than those tent shapes you are showing. Clothing doesnt' have to be that loose to be comfortable. I understand your resistance to makeup, but a bit of lip gloss or eye shadow will brighten your face, as would a new hairstyle.

.

Give up the hair and makeup issue, flogging a dead horse ... and I happen to LIKE loose fitting clothing. I happen to feel that in form fitting clothing I look like a stuffed sausage with rolls hanging out all over. I happen to detest that look as it to me appears slovenly. Properly fit loose clothing has a modesty to it that does not appear like I *think* i am 3 sizes smaller than I actually am.

 

I have enough issues with appearance being fat, as many people associate it with slovenly lazy gluttonous behaviors. It is amazing how many times I get told I am fat because I am lazy and sit on my ass all day eating candy. I have actually had a doctor tell me that to my face in the presence of my husband when I went in to get dx for gaining 150 lbs in 3 years. I have been diabetic and on a very strict diet since 1980, and I do not sit on my ass and pop bonbons. My best defense to being considered a fat slob is actually care in dressing. My hair is always clean, brushed and styled [now tied back or braided, or dressed with combs] and I am always showered and in clean clothing.

 

Frelling forgive me for laughing at myself and calling myself a frump.