My Perfect Vacation

[hftmrock]

I just got back from my perfect cruise vacation and wanted to share it with everyone.

 

Day 1 - We get to the Port. My family has a suite and our friends are in an OV but we snuck them in with us suite people in line. No one said anything. We immediately went to the desk and had that silly gratuity charge taken off all our accounts. If I dont have to pay it.. I aint paying it. Next we go to the buffet. We get settled and get our buffet fill.. we all had many many plates of stuff and ate what we felt like and threw away the rest.. heck.... thats what its there for! We get to the room and start to set up our stuff... One of my main rituals is putting my huge ashtray on the balcony table because we have 5 cases of cigs that we plan on going through and the balcony is the place of choice. We have a few cigars that we will get through too... CANT WAIT. The rest of the day went pretty smoothly.. We also got our friends with us for all the shows! Went back to the room and lit up on the balcony... Boy we were chimneys... Probably looked like the boat was on fire with all that smoke... LOL

 

Day 2

 

Got up at 5:00 am to put our blankets and books on my choice of lounge chairs.. Then went back to the room to sleep some more. (and smoke some more). at about 8am we got our friends and went to breakfast at Cagneys. I am glad we are showing our friends some upscale dining. They loved it. We then went back to the room for a bit more smoking and enjoying the ocean air... it was very relaxing. At about noon we went to the pool and still had our pime seats we setup at 5:00 am. Our friends had a baby that was still in a diaper but we put a large suit on him and probably no one noticed... We had Lunch at the buffet and we had a contest with our friends on how much we can eat.. We won hands down. We were bringing 5 plates at a time... we got some stares but who cares... We are on vacation!! We did some of the great activities and then went to dinner. We ordered 3 entres each and was so stuffed we could barely walk. We forced our way back to the room to chill on the balcony and light up... Most of the time we didnt see anyone on the balconies on either side of us.. I wonder why?

 

Day 3 - this was our drinking day... We decided to see who could get the most drunk. It started at about 10:00 am and I dont think we stopped until 2am!!! We were HAMMERED! We fell so many times going to the room it was hysterical. My buddy even fell into the pool once. (people had to help him out of the pool). Decided to spend the time recouperating on the balcony while puffing away... Many our heads hurt after that but it was worth it.

 

Day 4 - Our 2 kids were annoying us to no end so we told them they were allowed to do whatever they wanted on the ship. They both ran off and finally left us alone... At one point I heard a strange women yelling at them... LOL... serves the kids right! At least we had peace and quiet and did some more drinking...

 

All in all we had a fantastic time. Most of the time we have people telling us what they want to tell us (we never listen) But this time we didnt get people talking back so much.

 

 

 

(The following story did not happen.. It was just me trying to write a story with as many gripes as I could remember for a laugh... Its only make believe)... I hope that after you read that it is not real, it will put a smile on your face.

 

I actually go cruising in 19 days and I hope never to meet the family in the story.. ;)

[pehlibaar]

hahaha...loved it!

I'm assuming all the alcohol that was consumed was smuggled in, right?

[hftmrock]

MAN I FORGOT THAT!!!

 

Yes, we used rum runners and they never suspected a thing... I never paid one penny for alcohol on the trip! heehee

[Mooder]

I'm also making an assumption: that you wore a torn tank top, shorts and flip flops to the dining room? :o

[DMH15]

I haven't laughed this hard in ages.

 

First Nita came up with the post of the day this morning and you followed up with this. It's a good day on Cruise Critic.

[hftmrock]

I'm also making an assumption: that you wore a torn tank top, shorts and flip flops to the dining room? :o

 

 

actually I didnt wear a top at all... but my back and chest is so hairy.. people didnt notice and thought I was wearing a black furry top.. :eek:

 

 

:D

[Mooder]

actually I didnt wear a top at all... but my back and chest is so hairy.. people didnt notice and thought I was wearing a black furry top.. :eek:

 

:D

 

Oh, Perfect! I knew you'd find a way to class it up! :rolleyes:

[mickey557]

Lmao :)

[JerseyMom]

I hope you reminded the kids to make sure and push all of the buttons in the elevators when they get off. Other passengers really love stopping at all floors!

[hftmrock]

Dont know if they did that or not... They are older than 5 years old so I figured they can handle themselves and dont need supervision...

 

and truthfully... how much trouble can a couple of rambunctious kids get into on a ship anyway? :rolleyes:

 

 

as long as they were out of our hair... thats what counts.

 

 

 

 

Edit - I just asked my kids if they pushed all the buttons on the elevators and they told me that not only did they do that, they taped the reactions of the people on the evelvators and posted it on youtube...

 

Kids....

 

 

:cool:

[sparks1093]

As long as you didn't kick the flip flops off and pick your toes during dinner...;)

[russianmom]

:d:d:d

[SpecialPurpose]

You forgot to mention that the baby is still on the teat and your friend went all "National Geographic" and breastfed him anywhere and everywhere.

[tug]

actually I didnt wear a top at all... but my back and chest is so hairy.. people didnt notice and thought I was wearing a black furry top.. :eek:

 

 

:D

 

YOU'RE the wookie that was on my cruise! :)

[drhry]

I think I may remember them, you did not say where the VERY large tatoos were located maybe it was a different cruise!!LOL!! Love the story

[hftmrock]

As long as you didn't kick the flip flops off and pick your toes during dinner...;)

 

 

wait.....

 

 

 

were you on the cruise and were you stalking me??? How'd you know?? There are some things that are private ya know

[hftmrock]

YOU'RE the wookie that was on my cruise! :)

 

I do have class ya know... for the formal night, I shaved my chest to form a tie...

 

It was very classy if I di say so myself

[hftmrock]

You forgot to mention that the baby is still on the teat and your friend went all "National Geographic" and breastfed him anywhere and everywhere.

 

 

not everywhere... we are not savage!!... She only breastfed when we were eating... We all like to eat as a family together so the baby ate too...

 

and before anyone asks... she didnt take her shirt off as she normally does. She lifted her shirt over her head when she was breastfeeding but she kept it on... Class all the way