Have to cancel son's reservation b/o sports!

[MissDiva1]

Wonder how much longer before this thread gets locked...:rolleyes:

 

Why:confused:

[Martini Mom]

Why:confused:

Personal attacks.

[MissDiva1]

Personal attacks.

 

I must have missed it......

[reno3]

I just told my 16 yr old son about this.

I asked him if he would stay home and not cruise (and be cut from the team)...he said "NO" he would not stay home.

He is on the high school swim team and has been on the baseball team in middle school. He has played baseball every year since T'ball and still does play baseball for the local city "Big" League. We have never run into this issue. My son says he does not try out for the high school baseball team because everyone makes it and there are just too many kids and you do not get much playing time.

[willy32465]

him on the cruise. As a parent you can explain to the coach what the priorities are - family - and if the coach doesn't agree then I wouldn't have my child on the team anyway.

agree 100% FAMILY FIRST

[BallFour4]

The kid(s) that got cut might make the sacrifice if given a chance and stay home for the team. Your school district has most likely played baseball games over spring break, basketball games over the Christmas break and had band and drill competition on weekends for many years.

 

This should be no surprise to parents with kids in these activities. You really have to pick you battles, understand the potential for a "scarlet letter" of sorts would be cast on your son by his coaches and fellow team members.

 

I was on a division I college football team and we practiced Christmas morning for a bowl game played on New Years Day, three years of my career we missed going home. I understand it's different at that level but the commitment is to your team.

 

My daughter is a college track athlete and we planned my mothers funeral around a track meet. Absurd? perhaps, but her teammates were there in force.

 

In 8th grade he was a kid. In 9th grade he's a young man on a team. You and he need to decide how bad he wants it.

 

Athletics paid for my undergraduate degree. I would not have been able to get there if not for the support of my coaches and team.

 

.

[friedshrimp]

I think it's like this:

 

Let's say you do taxes for a living. You aren't going to take off during your busiest time - Jan through April 15. Most likely, your boss is going to make that decision for you, but if you are a good employee you know that it would be silly to even consider a vacation at that time.

 

If your kid is a football player, you know that he is going to have tryouts then practice and games from August until November. It would be silly to plan a vacation during that time, but again, the coach (boss) is going to tell you that you can't do it.

 

If you don't want to have restrictions on your time, don't sign up for activities or jobs that will implement them.

 

The difference being one is a job that puts food on the table, a house over their heads, pays the bills, and provides money for school activities............the other is a game or fun activity. Huge difference.

[cathyoo]

Back in Australia sport was something you paid for and played through neighbourhood teams and junior leagues. There's a lot that's neat about the USA, but the way sport and education are so married together is just bewildering to me (like how people get into universities here on "sports scholarships". Back home you need to be intelligent to get into university and we have no "college sports".

 

Many American children would not ever have the opportunity to participate in sports activities if they had to "pay" for them.

[MissDiva1]

The difference being one is a job that puts food on the table, a house over their heads, pays the bills, and provides money for school activities............the other is a game or fun activity. Huge difference.

 

Wouldn't you put food on the table and a house over your head even if you didn't have children:confused: I'm not getting your analogy.

 

Many American children would not ever have the opportunity to participate in sports activities if they had to "pay" for them.

 

You are not aware of traveling soccer, soft ball etc:confused: Many Americans pay for sports.

[Jeano222]

The day that a coach or school dictates to me what they will or will not allow on Spring Break or any other holiday, is the day I yank my kid out of the sport. Their rules are affecting your finances and family life. He is still a child living in your home and I'd be damned if I would cow-tow to them and if the kid gets mad so what. He doesn't pay rent, buys clothes or anything else. My 3 children all grown and faced with this scenario more than once, but we never allowed the kids or their teams dictate to us. None of them grew up to be ax murderers, I think parents these days don't have spines, maybe that's why the kids have so much of the It's All About Me Syndrome.

'

[jenwales]

I think parents these days don't have spines, maybe that's why the kids have so much of the It's All About Me Syndrome.

'

 

Yes, that must be it. It has nothing to do with following through with commitments or anything like that.

 

The funniest thing is that the people who are protesting altering their schedules due to their children's activities are the very definition of the, "It's All About Me Syndrome." Those of us who take our kids' activities into account when making plans are absolutely putting someone else first.

[MissDiva1]

The day that a coach or school dictates to me what they will or will not allow on Spring Break or any other holiday, is the day I yank my kid out of the sport. Their rules are affecting your finances and family life. He is still a child living in your home and I'd be damned if I would cow-tow to them and if the kid gets mad so what. He doesn't pay rent, buys clothes or anything else. My 3 children all grown and faced with this scenario more than once, but we never allowed the kids or their teams dictate to us. None of them grew up to be ax murderers, I think parents these days don't have spines, maybe that's why the kids have so much of the It's All About Me Syndrome.

'

 

LOL! It's all about who:confused: Remember they learn from their parents;)

[MissDiva1]

Yes, that must be it. It has nothing to do with following through with commitments or anything like that.

 

The funniest thing is that the people who are protesting altering their schedules due to their children's activities are the very definition of the, "It's All About Me Syndrome." Those of us who take our kids' activities into account when making plans are absolutely putting someone else first.

 

Those people don't have child atheletes and never will.......it's all about their vacation.........

[Little Elm]

The day that a coach or school dictates to me what they will or will not allow on Spring Break or any other holiday, is the day I yank my kid out of the sport. Their rules are affecting your finances and family life. He is still a child living in your home and I'd be damned if I would cow-tow to them and if the kid gets mad so what. He doesn't pay rent, buys clothes or anything else. My 3 children all grown and faced with this scenario more than once, but we never allowed the kids or their teams dictate to us. None of them grew up to be ax murderers, I think parents these days don't have spines, maybe that's why the kids have so much of the It's All About Me Syndrome.

'

Are you kidding? This parent and kid made a commitment to a team and to a school for that matter. Now, they want to yank the kid out of the sport to go on vacation. What about the team and the commitment that was made to them? Do they forfeit the games if they don't have enough players just so the family can go on the cruise. You look up "It's all about me syndrome" and this is it.

 

How hard is it to check the game and practice schedule before making a cruise reservation? I am sure the date of the cruise can be change to summer time when the kid has no games. During Spring Break they can have "family time" around the games.

[JLC@SD]

And your solution for families who need to plan before schedules are released? Just don't travel or take a vacation for 4 years? Yeah...sounds reasonable to me.:confused:

 

Yeah it can be reasonable....:D

 

School districts publish their schedules well in advance......and if your kid plays football.......there is a set schedule (i.e Aug to Dec).......and if he / she plays basketball ........different schedule (i.e. Dec to Apr)....and if he / she plays baseball / softball .....even different schedule (i.e. Feb to June).

 

And if this year's schedule isn't out yet......check last years.....it will be the same.......;)

 

Parents need to get informed and plan their vacations around the schedules if their kids want to play sports......;)

[fleckle]

If he were my son, I would consider the fact that he gets only brief, limited time in his life to play high school baseball with his teammates. He has the entire rest of his life to go on cruises.

[akcruz]

The fact that my children have a roof over their heads, food in their stomachs, all of the necessities in life and some of the wants prove that my wife and I make sacrifices for our kids. How silly of you to state that if we do not want to bend over backwards for our kids and let their desires run the family that we shouldn't have kids. My kids understand that the times I can take vacation from my job is limited and therefore we will take a vacation, from school, sports, band, and other distractions when that time arises. None of them plan on making any sport or music a career, it's just something fun to do. We bust our butts getting them to and from practices and games but when vacation time comes, their sports and such get put on hold until our return. If they can't agree to that then the sports and music go bye-bye.

 

Just to make sure, I never said you had to bend over backwards for your kids, I was commenting on the fact that you seemed to be upset that parents arrange a vacation around a kids schedule. In this case, yes I think that parents need to take into consideration what their kids are involved in, what commitments they have made, and what is of interest to them. Will vacation always be exactly what and when the kids want, no, but their needs to be compromise.

 

If you are taking a vacation, and doing it on your own time table, I hope you are putting a roof over the heads and feeding them appropriately. If not, vacation should be the furthest thing from your mind.

 

My kids go to a school district that is very competitive. If they missed practices during spring break it would impact their sports career for the rest of their time in HS. I know when they need to be here and when I can take a vacation. We didn't take a big family vacation last year due to everyone's schedules. This year we have 3 weeks over the summer to fit one in so we are doing it up big to make up for last year. It is all about COMPROMISES, not out and out giving in one way or the other!

[newcatintown]

What is important to me and mine may not be important to you and yours. Doesn't make me right and you wrong. Just makes us different. There is no 'one size fits all' here. I know why I have taken the side I'm on, but I don't know you, your family or your circumstances to understand why you think otherwise. Nor do I need to. I don't begrudge those who think differently than me, and just ask for the same consideration.

[Warm Breezes]

The day that a coach or school dictates to me what they will or will not allow on Spring Break or any other holiday, is the day I yank my kid out of the sport. Their rules are affecting your finances and family life. He is still a child living in your home and I'd be damned if I would cow-tow to them and if the kid gets mad so what. He doesn't pay rent, buys clothes or anything else. My 3 children all grown and faced with this scenario more than once, but we never allowed the kids or their teams dictate to us. None of them grew up to be ax murderers, I think parents these days don't have spines, maybe that's why the kids have so much of the It's All About Me Syndrome.

'

 

When I plan a "family vacation" its about finding a time in the "family's" schedule to fit that vacation in. Personnally, when my kids join a team sport, their schedule becomes part of the "family" schedule. After all, DS and DD are an integral part of my "family" and to say that the commitments I allow them to make mean nothing to the "family" is wrong IMHO.

 

If you can't make the commitment to your child's team, then don't allow them to join. The choice is still yours and no one is dictating your vacation schedule. If you do allow them to join a team then you are making the commitment with your child to make sure they follow the team rules, which may include attending practices and games during school breaks. Don't agree with the rules, then don't commit your child to the team and take your "family" vacation whenever you want. Pretty simple really.

 

Deciding a time for a family vacation based solely on DH's and my schedule makes the "It's All About Me Syndrome" become is all about Mom and Dad and says that the kids don't count....In my family they count, and my kids are not "It's All About Me". In my family "It's all about family" and that includes the kids and their schedules.

[cathyoo]

When I plan a "family vacation" its about finding a time in the "family's" schedule to fit that vacation in. Personnally, when my kids join a team sport, their schedule becomes part of the "family" schedule. After all, DS and DD are an integral part of my "family" and to say that the commitments I allow them to make mean nothing to the "family" is wrong IMHO.

 

If you can't make the commitment to your child's team, then don't allow them to join. The choice is still yours and no one is dictating your vacation schedule. If you do allow them to join a team then you are making the commitment with your child to make sure they follow the team rules, which may include attending practices and games during school breaks. Don't agree with the rules, then don't commit your child to the team and take your "family" vacation whenever you want. Pretty simple really.

 

Deciding a time for a family vacation based solely on DH's and my schedule makes the "It's All About Me Syndrome" become is all about Mom and Dad and says that the kids don't count....In my family they count, and my kids are not "It's All About Me". In my family "It's all about family" and that includes the kids and their schedules.

 

Well said

[KCMiller]

Well said

 

Amen!

 

KC

[cathyoo]

In most cases especially in high school sports there are try-outs and some kid probably didn't make the team because your child was selected. If your child, your family was unable to commit to the TEAM you should give the other child that opportunity.

[pe4all]

It amazes me that I managed to go thru high school as a varsity starter in 4 sports (we had 4 sport seasons then) without having any Saturday/holiday practices! (and I went to college on a field hockey scholarship) It just wasn't done then - and we still won our share of county championships! Now, having a college student who played soccer since she was 5, then travel soccer, varsity h.s. soccer for 4 years WITH Saturday/holiday practices, I marvel at the commitment kids have to make nowadays. (and us!)

[paleskin]

I've found as a parent of 2 high school boys that freshmen pretty much sit on the bench most of the season. Knowing what I know now, I'd take him on the cruise and forget the season, and try out next year. I would speak with the coach directly and explain that when you booked, you had no idea he would be on the baseball team,but if the coach doesn't budge, I'd politely tell him that you understand now, and that he'll be back next year.

[boohicks]

I have been a band Mom for 8 years. This isn't only about athletes.

When kids make a committment to be in the band well I think that they should be there. The band practices for all kinds of marching competitions, including State! When someone is gone, it can completely mess up the other marchers and then there are holes(missing people) in the show. Some parents feel as though they can just leave for the weekend, not seriously considering what effects this has on the marching show. Band Directors do tell them if you are not here, you may lose your spot for the rest of the season! Parents cringe as they hear this, but the kids committed to being part of the band imho! My kids never wanted to miss a practice, game or competition, they wanted to keep their marching spots! Sorry to have hijacked........