Live (NOT) From the Carnival Valor

[Kokomo_Man]

LIVE (NOT) From The Carnival Valor

 

 

Hi all,

 

I've been in kind of a "blue mood" for the first couple days of this cruise and wasn't going to do a "Live From..." this time. I won't explain the mood, but I've gotten over it, so I'll do some catching up in the next few posts.

 

For this post I'm going to start by saying that I'm having a great time on this cruise. Those of you who have followed my posts before know that I love cruising in general and Carnival in particular. But that doesn't mean that everything is perfect, so I'll be telling you about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

 

This first post will have a bit of the ugly, but keep in mind that I always have a great big grin on my face from the second I set foot on a cruise ship and the only time I loose that grin is when I have to get off the ship on the last morning.

 

With all that smiley stuff said, there have been a couple of problems on the start of this cruise. I wrote about them and posted it it this morning on the facebook page of a certain rotund Carnival cruise director hoping that it would get immediate attention. This is a bit of a rant, but we’ll see here what attention it gets. I’m posting the entire message here and I’ll let you know what happens.

 

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

 

Hello John,

 

Originally this was to be a “live” post to you and I was going to put it on facebook for immediate attention. This was to be about a problem that effects the Valor and all of her sister ships… the Freedom, Glory, etc, so I figured that getting this to you would make a difference in all of the ships. However, when I tried to get on the ships internet last night I couldn’t… nada… zip. I couldn’t get anything. More about this in a minute. The next few paragraphs are what I originally wrote.

 

This is not my normal venue for my “Live From…” series (I would have my mouth washed out with soap if I mentioned that normal venue), but I’m posting here because I know this will get the immediate attention that it needs from the beards.

 

First I must tell you that I’m a non-smoker. But, on very rare occasions I like to have a fine cigar… particularly when it is “under the stars” with a particular senior British cruise director. But there is now a problem here on the Valor.

 

This ship used to have a great cigar bar, the “Winston cigar bar”. That was quite fitting for a venue named for Winston Churchill. But alas, cigar smoking is now banned there, and it is simply now “Winston”. I understand the reason for this so I won’t bemoan the loss of the fine leather seating place for smokers in general and cigar smokers in particular. (By the way… the Winston is now lonely and abandoned. It languishes empty with only the occasional passer through on the way to the internet café.

 

Instead of the Winston, the indoor cigar smoking place has now been designated to be the “Paris Hot” lounge. A fine idea except that the door the “Paris Hot” is always open and cigar smoke now permeates the whole aft section of deck five. This includes not only the hall ways but also the Lindy Hop Piano bar (now non smoking) and the Eagles Lounge. This clearly needs to be fixed.

 

By the way, I should add that I’ve had nothing but a grin on my face since I boarded the ship this morning. I’ll post more info on the blog when the cruise is over.

 

Bob (AKA Kokomo_man)

Memories of Naked Fanny

 

I wrote the original in hopes that could be quickly and easily fixed. CLOSE THE DOOR… duh.

 

But, I couldn’t get this to you because the internet was down. So I figured this morning (as I write this) I would log on, pay my $100 for internet time and then get this off to you to do something about the problem. But Noooooo… there was no internet connection this morning. I checked back through my “live from” posting while on BC4 last year and the following paragraph is what I posted then (and posted to you on the blog).

 

Big grin not withstanding there is one thing that tries to wipe the grin off my face each time I cruise on Carnival… the internet service. As I started writing this tonight I decided that I would give in and use the ship-board internet to post the stuff I’ve written over the past couple of days. But when I tried to “get on” and sign up for a little bit of time, I couldn’t even get connected to the first step of signing up (paying) for the service. After a few select cuss words and frustration, I gave up thinking that they had just saved me a chunk of money.

 

I won’t put the rest of that “rant” here, but John… beards… I love Carnival. However the internet service here is ridiculous. This past year I have also cruised on “Flowrider of the Seas and Nose Art of the Seas (the “Woman to Blame” made me do it”) Both of those others all had far superior internet service. If you can transform the Liberty in just a few days of dry dock… and indeed the Valor had a whole set of cabins added in the last dry dock, there is no longer any excuse for Carnivals internet service.

 

Bob (AKA Kokomo_man)

Memories of Naked Fanny

 

P.S. I’m finally posting this from a coffee house in Cozumel where there is good wi-fi. The wi-fi on the ship is still down.

 

P.P.S. This was originally to be “Live From…” and I left the heading that way. Future posts (if any” will be Live (NOT) from the Carnival Valor.

[pe4all]

Totally agree with you here. Just got off Liberty on Saturday, and I had over 90 internet minutes (out of 240) left cause we just couldn't get on. I couldn't even print out my boarding passes for my flight due to the internet being down. (I tried from 7 a.m. that morning until 10 pm the night before my flight.) Really needs to be looked at. Many, many people were complaining. I actually felt bad for the internet supervisor - she couldn't do a thing for anyone.

[Kokomo_Man]

LIVE (NOT) From The Carnival Valor

 

 

This post will be just a few bits and pieces I wrote from the first part of the cruise when the writing wasn’t coming to me. It’s just a few bits and pieces that I started to write about………………….

 

OK… before I get going, in the interest of full disclosure and truth in advertising, this is not “Live” from the Valor at all. Those of you who have followed my “Live From…” posts over the last few years know that I really like Carnival. That’s why I’ve been on 6 carnival cruises in the last three years and have two more scheduled for this year.

 

All that said, the reason this isn’t coming “live” is that I can’t even log on to the internet on this ship. I’ve tried for two days now… all over the ship. I can’t even get to the point where I can try to pay for an on-board account. This all seemed familiar so I checked what I wrote on my last Carnival Cruise… BC4 last year and what I wrote there is a carbon copy of what is happening here. I won’t repeat it here, but if you want to read what I wrote then, check this link.

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1368136

 

So although not really “live” because of the DS internet I will only be posting from each port when I can find a free and good internet connection.

 

Enough of that stuff.

 

Morning – First Sea day.

 

Those of you that have followed my “Live Froms…” in the past know that I spend most of my mornings on board out by the pool watching the “goings on”. OK… I admit it….watching the “goings on” means that I’ve got on dark sun glasses and I’m checking out all the hard-bodied sweet young things around the pool. It’s not that I’m a “dirty old man”, but “I’m just a guy”. (Credit here must go to the very funny Bill Engval who said that when a man behaves in certain ways, he can explain it all by saying, “I’m just a guy”.) And yea… perhaps I’m a dirty old man ‘cause my dark sun glasses have fogged up.

 

This morning when I contemplating what to write about yesterday’s sail away I realized that this was going to be another “fun” cruise. When I re-read what I wrote back on BC4 I realized that the sail away once again got the fun started. The young and old… the big and the small… the wide and the narrow all were dancing to the tunes… this time the tune of “HOT HOT HOT”. And so the party, fun, and another cruise to the Caribbean begins.

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

[Kokomo_Man]

LIVE (NOT) From The Carnival Valor

 

 

I’m still catching up on the posts. Here’s about our stop at Grand Cayman

 

Grand Cayman.

 

[Truth in advertising. – I actually wrote this to tell about Grand Cayman after we were sailing away from Cozumel a day later… after I came out of my “blue mood”]

On my last cruise we passed by Grand Cayman because of weather (the winds were too high for us to park). We were really disappointed and bummed out for the day. This time the winds were also too high to park in the usual place… the Georgetown “harbor”. Instead we parked at “Spotts Dock”. The word “Dock” in the name is a bit misleading. The ships don’t dock… the tenders take the passengers from the ship to “Spotts Dock”.

 

We were one of the first three ships to arrive at Spotts, but there were at least two other ships that were turned away. So the good news is that we got to make a stop at Grand Cayman. The bad news is that all of the water activities were canceled. Even though it was a clear, sunny day, the high wind made the sea very rough and choppy.

 

There is almost nothing at Spott’s Dock. A few of the merchants from town and two ice cream trucks “set up shop” near where the passengers were getting off/on the tenders. But other than the few vendors, there’s nothing to see or do at Spott’s Dock. So we took a bus ride to Georgetown. It cost $5.00 each way per person. The bus operators were making what the tour operators were losing.

 

When we got to Georgetown we could see why the ships didn’t park in their usual places at Georgetown. The sea was so rough and choppy that there was no way that tenders could operate. This was the first time I had ever seen waves crashing against the sea wall at Georgetown. It was creating a spectacular scene with the sea foam spewing into the sky.

 

I had arranged a “wave runner” tour to Stingray City & Rum point on my own with the reputable firm Island Marketing. (Carnival doesn’t offer this kind of tour to Stingray City.) Alas, Island Marketing had to cancel this tour too. This was the second time I tried to make this tour… the time we didn’t stop at Grand Cayman and this time. Both times Island Marketing “covered” my deposit. Maybe it’s an omen and I shouldn’t attempt this tour when I’m in Grand Cayman on BC5.

 

We did all the requisite “Grande Tourista” stuff while we were in Georgetown. We bought enough T-shirts to support all the cotton plantations in the old south, enough rum to support all the sugar plantations in the world, and of course enough Cuban cigars to keep Fidel in power, his missiles pointed toward us, and all of his insurgents operating in all of South America for the next hundred years.

 

What’s that you say???... Fidel’s not in power?… they don’t have missiles?... they don’t have insurgents?... they’re no threat to us or anyone else in the world? Well if that’s the case, then why do we still have our policy from 1959 still in place? There must be some reasonable reason that the US still has the economic embargo on Cuba… some reason why any ship (cruise ship) that stops in Cuba can’t dock in the US for six months.

 

What’s that you say???... Canadians, and almost the rest of the world had removed all embargos of Cuba?... and that Canadians and most everyone else can travel to/spend money in Cuba? Hummmm… then why is it that the US is so “off base”….

 

I’ll stop the Cuba sarcasm at this point. I could go on, but I’m sure I’ve made my point. I suspect that by now some of you are starting to turn red… or maybe green with nausea. But I wanted to point out that I continue my miniscule protest against our US policy toward policy by purchasing Cuban cigars that I won’t even smoke.

 

(By the way… I’m working on making a trip to Cuba later this year. I have not worked out all the details to stay out of jail upon returning to the US, but I’m pretty sure it can be done under the “people-to-people” policy that was put in place back in Jan 2011.)

 

Wow… it’s hard to believe that it’s already 2012.

 

Before I end telling about Grand Cayman I’ll tell you that we did the other thing required in Grand Cayman… we went to “Jimmy’s Place” (Margaritaville). Parrot-Head law requires the visit, and consumption of a “Cheeseburger in Paradise” along with a few gallons of frozen concoctions to help us hang on. I only had half of the Cheeseburger, but fully complied with the gallons to help me hang on.

 

Now it’s on to Cozumel.

 

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

[mississauga]

Hello Bob, hope all is well with you. We met on BC4 and had a nice chat at Starbucks in San Juan where you tried to help me with some problems on my netbook...lol.

 

Sorry to hear about your loss and fully understand why you were in a funk at the beginning of the cruise. Hope as the cruise goes on, you will remember only the good times.

 

Looking forward to hearing more about your cruise on the Valor. Your Lives and reviews are always a good read.

 

Take care and perhaps we will meet again on a future cruise.

[SenatorsFan]

Glad to see you posting another review! I think you should not give up on the Grand Cayman tour. Wouldn't "third time's the charm" be in effect?:D

Heather

[Pichu21]

LIVE or not, I'm glad to see another review! I love reading your reviews and I'll enjoy this one very much either way. :)

[violetsmile]

Just booked that Island Marketing Tour in GC for April. Can't wait, and I'm bummed you didn't make it. Loving the review, though, and counting down to my turn on the Valor (93 days!).

[Kokomo_Man]

Still NOT Live From The Carnival Valor

Still catching up on the posts… this will be from out stop at Cozumel and I’ll also post some to catch up business in a few minutes.

Thanks for all the nice comments. It’s those comments that keep me encouraged to continue posting and sharing the good (mostly), the bad… occasional, and the ugly (rare).

Mississauga… I do remember working with you very well from BC4. If I recall correctly you were the one that told me how to get to Starbucks for wi-fi. I don’t think we ever got your netbook working but it was nice chatting with you both at Starbucks, throughout the cruise and a couple of times here online. I’ll be on BC5 again in a couple of months. Are you going to be there?

Cozumel.

Last night as we headed toward Cozumel the ship was really “Rockin-n-Rollin”. No… this wasn’t the party type. When we sailed away from Grand Cayman we sailed right into the teeth of the wind that was blowing Grand Cayman out of the Caribbean. Now we were sailing through the “angry sea”. Lots of people were green… including me. I waited until too late to take any “meds” against sea sickness. So for dinner, I took a “Triptone”, and went to bed. (Triptone is a “med” lots of scuba divers use to combat sea sickness.)

This morning the seas were calmer. We didn’t arrive in Cozumel until 10:00, so I “slept in” and then had a nice leisurely breakfast. Our original plan was to SCUBA dive in Cozumel. But the seas were still a bit rough… at least rough for the little dive boats. It was overcast, the wind was brisk, and the temperature was cool enough that I had on long pants and a light jacket at breakfast.

Word was filtering throughout the ship that because of the rough seas a lot of the water activities were being canceled. For example, one of the “all inclusive beach break” tours has water toys for everyone to play with… you know, kayaks, snorkeling, Hobie sail boats, and the like. Any way… this tour was still on, but all of the ocean water activities were going to be closed down.

Since the internet had been down since the ship started out (more on this in a minute), I had not been able to get a weather report and a water temperature report. So I didn’t know how it would be for SCUBA diving. Since the SCUBA trip was not scheduled until the afternoon, my plan was to get off the ship and find a wi-fi hot spot and check out the forecast.

That part of the plan was good. It was easy to find a coffee shop with wi-fi right in the “Grande Tourista” compound where the ship docked. For a $4.00 cup of coffee they would give you the password to their wi-fi. YEOOOOOOWWWWWW… $4.00 for a cup of coffee.

It didn’t matter… I admit it… I’m an internet junkie. My hands start to shake… my stomach turns over, and I become a blabbering idiot without the internet. (No snide comments about a “blabbering idiot” allowed.) So, for a mere $4.00 I could sit in a comfortable chair and get my internet fix. I was in heaven.

To make it short, the weather was not going to get better until late in the afternoon. The high for the day was only going to be 70F. So I did not go SCUBA diving.

“The Woman to Blame” taught me a long time ago that if life gives you lemons, then go to “Jimmy’s Place” and have a large frozen strawberry Margarita. So that’s exactly what we did. We took a taxi to downtown Cozumel (the real name of the town is San Miguel), wandered around a bit and then went to “Jimmy’s Place”.

There is one place I want to mention. If you walk a couple of blocks past the Punta Langosta Grande Tourista shopping area there is a little shop selling a little bit of everything. They also have a guy right up front who is cooking pork tacos. These are not the tacos like you get at Taco Bell (the Mexican phone company). These are “soft tacos” on a thick flour tortilla. He carves the pork right in front of you.

It all smelled so good that I just couldn’t resist it. They were only a buck each, so I had him carve up a couple for me. On top of the taco the vendor put a bunch of green stuff and pointed me to the salsa on a nearby table. I slathered on some of the red stuff... the stuff with small flames shooting out the side. I took a big bite and it was mmmmm- mmmmm good. I know I shouldn’t eat stuff from street vendors in Mexico, but it was really good. I’ll let you know if I have fire shooting out of you know where tomorrow.

About the internet on board… a rant

Each day I have walked down to the internet café… walking through the forsaken and lonely Winston’s ex-cigar bar… and talked with the internet manager, Ivan (not his real name). Ivan is always proudly wearing a polo shirt with a logo on it that proudly proclames, MTM. MTM is the satellite provider to almost every ship in the world.

Now keep in mind, when my credit card company locked out my card because someone was spending money on a cruise ship in the Caribbean, MTM & Carnival knew it instantly when I ordered my “boat drink” the first night of the cruise… my order for the boat drink was declined. Also keep in mind that MTM & Carnival were able to instantly swipe and approve another credit card so that I could resume buying boat drinks.

So why is it that each time I’ve talked to Ivan, MTM & Carnival can only tell me that “zey are wurking on iit”. And when I’ve asked Ivan, MTM & Carnival when it will be fixed the only answer I get is, “I dunno”. I find it interesting that when I pressed Ivan yesterday on who is “working” on it, the answer I got was, “Miami”. I said, “I see and then when they figure it out, they will fly someone out to the ship by helicopter and fix the problem on the spot… is that correct?” Ivan only responded, “I dunno”.

I should say that Ivan did invite me to use a computer terminal in the internet café as the internet itself is still working… just not the ship’s wireless system. Since there’s no way for me to transfer anything I have written on my computer to these terminals they are of little use to me. I’m unwilling to spend $0.40 to $0.75 per minute to type all this in during “live” internet time.

Come on Carnival. You do everything else so well. Why do you continue to have such DS internet service… why do you continue to be the worst in the industry? And not worst by just a little bit… worst by a mile… and for this cruise on the Valor, you’re not even in the game. Yea…yea… yea… I hear Carnival saying, “you’re on vacation”… “you’re supposed to unplug”. Yea, well if that’s the case, why are you selling us this DS for such outrageous prices. By the way, with the wireless down they are still trying to sell us internet time. Mr. Cahill… shame on you!

Enough of the “rant”… back to the crusin’ stuff and a frozen concoction to help me hang on.

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

[Kokomo_Man]

LIVE (NOT) From The Carnival Valor

 

I want to take time out from my usual banter to tell you that Carnival does listen and is responsive to what their customers have to say. While I’m quick to “rant”, I also want to be quick to give credit where credit is due. I’m not going to “blow smoke” at you and tell you everything is “golden”… and the world in now perfect.

 

Every cruise line has its good points and bad points. As those of you who follow my banters know, “The Woman to Blame” and I tried out the “Rockwall of the Seas, and another “Nose Art of the Seas” cruise this last summer. And while both of those have their good points, you can see where I’m back to. One of the reasons I’m back to Carnival (among many) is the responsiveness to customer input.

 

I mentioned earlier that I posted a note to Carnival’s rotund Senior Cruise director. I got an almost immediate response. The “rotund one” responded on his facebook page and I found a very nice response from him when I got back from shore today. Not only that, I mentioned the part about the cigar smoke to the guest services desk and they took care of the problem almost immediately. I got a phone call from a guest services and the representative explained the circumstances to me and how they were going to try to deal with the problem. (I have to admit that I don’t know a good “air tight” solution because the customers are the ones leaving the door open. And since I firmly believe that cigar smokers… all smokers are still first class citizens, I am adamant that they should have a nice lounge to enjoy their cruise too. So I’m sure that the “rotund one” will pass the problem to the “beards” in Miami and they will come up with a good, long term solution.)

 

Also, earlier I mentioned that lots of excursions were canceled, but I failed to mention that all of the cost for the canceled excursions booked through Carnival have been fully refunded by Carnival. The refunds came within a few hours. To my knowledge, Carnival has always been more than fair in such dealings. Now I hope the tour operator I booked with in Grand Caymen will refund as fast.

 

And one last point... Nooooooo; I’m not getting anything for saying this. I’m not getting a free cruise (I wish)… I’m not getting free booze (I wish) and I’m not getting a free upgrade. (And I’m not asking for any of that.) What I am getting is exceptional service and better cruising… not to mention all the warm chocolate melting cake I can eat.

 

OK… enough of that. There’s a “boat drink” waiting for me… back to the fun stuff.

 

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

[mississauga]

Mississauga… I do remember working with you very well from BC4. If I recall correctly you were the one that told me how to get to Starbucks for wi-fi. I don’t think we ever got your netbook working but it was nice chatting with you both at Starbucks, throughout the cruise and a couple of times here online. I’ll be on BC5 again in a couple of months. Are you going to be there?

 

That's me, Bob. We are going to give the BC5 a pass. There are going to be 2 very large groups vying for attention during the blogger events. It was bad enough with the one group but with two, the rest of us will be left out. I refuse to have to join a secondary group in order to enjoy the blogger cruises...lol:)

[Kokomo_Man]

Still NOT Live From The Carnival Valor

 

 

Belize.

 

I’m writing this as I sit in the only internet café in the Belize “Grande Tourista” cruise ship compound. I didn’t plan anything here except that I did want to take the tender ashore so I could get on the internet.

 

I know… I know… that’s sick. Here I am on a cruise in the Caribbean and all I wanted to do at this stop is get on the internet. I really should seek professional help for this. By the way… there are a hoard of other people here in the internet café with me, so maybe a wise “shrink” should set up an office in the next vacant area of the compound.

 

But… I’ve been to Belize many times before… I think five times since 2009. And since it is the most expensive stop to take tours I thought I would save a few bucks on this one. (The internet café only cost $5.00 for as long as I want.) The tour I otherwise would have taken is of course SCUBA diving. The SCUBA tour here is about $150… in Cozumel it was $75.00. One of the things I really hate is being “ripped off”… especially when I do it to myself. And I consider the diving to be better in Cozumel than it is here in Belize.

 

If you’ve never been to the cruise ship compound in Belize, then you should go at least once. It’s really not much, but it has character. There are of course all of the t-shirt and trinket shops… and the required Diamonds International. But there are also as many drug stores as there are anything else. These drug stores sell a variety of prescription pills and potions without requiring the prescription. They proudly advertise the price for each of the drugs that you couldn’t otherwise get without seeing a doctor.

 

Each one of these drug stores had a lot of people milling around in them. You could see that they were waiting for an opportune time to go to the counter when they thought no one would hear what they were asking for. I only snooped for a little bit, but I’m sure that tonight there are going to be a lot of happy women back on board the ships. Each man that I saw step up to the counter was getting a few of those little blue oval pills.

 

There’s not much else to tell about Belize, so it’s on to Roatan.

 

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

[Kokomo_Man]

Still NOT Live From The Carnival Valor

Belize… part 2

After I had written the earlier post on Belize my two daughters with me on this cruise got back from their Cave Tubing and Zip line tour in Belize. When they got back they were talking a mile-a-minute about the tour. There’s no question that they had a great time.

My oldest, Amaya, wore my Go Pro video camera on her helmet during the Zip line part of the tour. She was hollering and screaming all the way across each segment. Wendy (the other daughter with me) said she loved every minute of it. Wendy is the dare-devil of my kids. (She gets that from me.) Wendy wants to go back and do it again. Amaya?... well, she said that she’s glad she did it once… and will never do that again.

Both girls were also impressed by how knowledgeable the tour guide was on the bus ride getting there. They said that he gave very interesting information about the country of Belize during the hour + bus ride. They were also impressed by how well the tour guide could answer random questions about almost anything. The girls said that the guide really added a lot to the tour.

I guess if the response of my girls is any indication, then this may be a pretty good tour to do in Belize.

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

[Kokomo_Man]

Still NOT Live From The Carnival Valor

Belize… part 2

After I had written the earlier post on Belize my two daughters with me on this cruise got back from their Cave Tubing and Zip line tour in Belize. When they got back they were talking a mile-a-minute about the tour. There’s no question that they had a great time.

My oldest, Amaya, wore my Go Pro video camera on her helmet during the Zip line part of the tour. She was hollering and screaming all the way across each segment. Wendy (the other daughter with me) said she loved every minute of it. Wendy is the dare-devil of my kids. (She gets that from me.) Wendy wants to go back and do it again. Amaya?... well, she said that she’s glad she did it once… and will never do that again.

Both girls were also impressed by how knowledgeable the tour guide was on the bus ride getting there. They said that he gave very interesting information about the country of Belize during the hour + bus ride. They were also impressed by how well the tour guide could answer random questions about almost anything. The girls said that the guide really added a lot to the tour.

I guess if the response of my girls is any indication, then this may be a pretty good tour to do in Belize.

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

[LBumb]

nothing like getting the cruise spirit going than sailing away to hot hot hot

[sayvan]

Glad I found your review. My son and daughter are currently travelling with their mom on this cruise. Thanks for posting....

[mississauga]

My oldest, Amaya, wore my Go Pro video camera on her helmet during the Zip line part of the tour.

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

 

 

Speaking of the Go Pro video camera, what is your opinion of it? Our youngest asked for it for Christmas. We got it for him but have no idea how the videos will come out. Does it have to be used only during fast action events? He doesn't do a lot of that. It was during his trip to Hawaii that he wished he had one and wanted to have it in case he takes a vacation like that again.

[mickiemac]

Bob

 

Glad you are having a good time. Hope the weather and internet service improve for you. Have another Chocolate thingy for me...and a couple of melting cakes for Jim..

[Kokomo_Man]

LIVE!!!!! From The Carnival Valor

 

 

Shizam!!!!

 

This morning I got up and my hands were shaking. I could barely get out of bed. I tried to pull the covers up over my head, shut my eyes tightly and hope it world go away. But as I shut my eyes the demons appeared on my eyelids. I didn’t know how to face the day… how to face the deamons. And I knew it would only get worse as the day wore on. How was I ever going to survive a day at sea and an over-night without the internet.

 

So I dragged myself out of bed… staggered over to the table and took a stiff belt of booze. Then a second stiff belt of booze. The sun wasn’t up yet so maybe if I hooked a barrel of rum up as an IV I could make it to Miami without throwing myself overboard.

 

But even the booze wasn’t working. In desperation I sat down at my open laptop. I turned on the wireless. I knew it was going to be a futile effort. I had tried every day since boarding the ship to no avail. But I was desperate… so I tried again any way.

 

And then… SHAZAM!!!!! I was saved. A Carnival screen popped up wanting me to spend money. I thought, “naw… it couldn’t be… I must be delusional”. But I went on any way. I frantically typed in my name and other information. I was typing in the information so fast that smoke was coming out of my keyboard. The plastic pieces were starting to melt and my finger tips were burning. But I didn’t care. I continued to type away.

 

I finished typing, and clicked on the “spent a bucket of money” button. The birds started singing… the clouds parted and the sun came out. Palm trees sprang up and the temperature warmed. A gentle Caribbean breeze started blowing. I was instantly transported to Nirvana… or maybe it was a sea day on the Valor. They are close to the same.

 

So today I am posting truly “Live From the Carnival Valor” today. I’ll post the stuff I wrote on our stop at Roatan in a few minutes, but for now I’ll just tell you that it is now a great day at sea. The seas are calm. I’m writing this from my usual spot out on the pool deck and I can’t see a cloud in the sky. The temperature is in the mid 70’s. Maybe this is really Nirvana.

 

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

[kcparrothead]

Loving it!!! So glad you're back LIVE!! Have a great final day!

[Kokomo_Man]

LIVE!!!!! From The Carnival Valor

 

 

Roatan

 

This is my fourth trip to Roatan. Well… sort of my fourth trip. My first trip was in May of 2009. On that trip were supposed to dock at noon, but as noon came and went, we were still slowly cruising a mile or two of the coast of Roatan. In the end we never docked. There was ongoing civil unrest in Honduras. The Captain came on the loudspeaker and apologized, but it was deemed to dangerous to dock. A couple of months later… I think it was July… there was a bloodless coup d'état. They have since has successful elections and all now seems peaceful. I should not that in Central and South America they rarely change presidents by election. Their most common form of “election” is by way of coup d'état.

 

The other two times I went on excursions. “The Woman to Blame” and I went to the Monkey, Parrots & Pirates tour on one of the visits. We both enjoyed that tour. The other time I went SCUBA diving and enjoyed that too.

 

This time I didn’t do a tour at all. Instead I just walked around the tourist trap compound and then went to check out the beach area. Notice that I didn’t say “Grande Tourista” this time. Yes, the compound is a tourist trap, but of all the places like this, the “trap” at Mahogany Bay is the most “civilized” of all. The shops are all bright, cheery and well maintained. And the buildings are not all jammed in together. Instead there’s a large expansive area and the shops are well spread out. Kind of like a stroll around a concrete park. Of course there is the requisite Diamonds International, but all of the other shops seem to be independent operators.

 

There’s only one place in the shopping area with wi-fi. I certainly had to stop there for about an hour to post my previous days journal, check email… and get my day’s internet fix. After that I decided to wander over and check out the beach area Carnival has constructed. I had only seen it from the boat and wanted to get a “close-up” look.

 

You can’t miss the beach area as you are coming into port. Every time I’ve been here before I stood up on the highest part of the ship and took hundreds of pictures of the area. It looks a lot like those posters, screen savers, and photos for those “come to our island in paradise” advertisements.

 

There are two ways to get to the beach area; you can walk it in about 5 minutes, or you can pay $12.00 each to ride a “chair lift” back and forth all day. The chair lift takes longer. So I decided to walk. Carnival has done a very good job of making the path to the beach like a walk through a tropical garden. I guess that’s because it is… a tropical garden. Unless you want the aerial, view I recommend that the walk… it’s very nice.

 

The beach is a very nice area too. There are plenty of lounge chairs if you want to just find a place to “chill”. It was 79 degrees here today, so I think most of the folks on the ship decided on a beach day. I didn’t get there until about noon… I slept in…but there were still plenty of lounge chairs available. No chair hog problem here.

 

I decided that all I wanted to do was to put my “toes in the water… ass in the sand” and that’s exactly what I did. The water was warm and inviting, but I didn’t go in. I just sat there and took in the… ummmm… “scenery”. I did mention all the “hard bodies” on the first day of the cruise. Well, I think they were mostly “conservative” while around the ships pool. But today… at the beach… well… I’ll just say… I’ve never seen so little cloth put to such good use.

 

I don’t want to miss-lead you. There were lots of families at the beach area too. In fact probably more families than anything else. The kids and adults alike seemed all to be having a glorious time. They seemed to be loving the snorkeling, swimming and playing on a variety of water toys. It’s just that maybe the old guys in dark sun glasses may have been having the best time. (Perhaps “old guys in dark sun glasses” should be the lyrics for a Jimmy Buffett song.)

 

You can get food and drink (soda and booze) in the beach area, but none of this is free. (There are a couple of “watering holes” in the compound area too.) All of the water toys cost extra too. They have paddle boards, kayaks, and other assorted “human powered” water toys. My daughter Wendy and her husband Rick decided to pay for the “package deal” which cost $50 for one of the cloth clam shells and use of all the water toys for the day for both Wendy and rick..

 

Wendy and Rick said that was the best thing they did on the cruise. They loved the beach and spent all day there. They used the available snorkel equipment and swam out beyond the “normal” swimming area. They found a place off the end of the pier there that they said was the best snorkeling of the trip. (This includes a snorkel trip they went on back when we were back in Key Largo.)

 

If you’re on a cruise to just “chill” (and lots are) then this may be the best “beach break” area of the cruise. And men… don’t forget your dark sun-glasses and de-fogger spray.

 

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny

[2wallace]

Love this review!:)

[shopperwhite]

can you tell me who the piano player is? is he any good? thanks.

by the way in roatan the best coffee sold in bags second to the very best which is costa rican what a surprise....

[balcony bound]

I am so happy to see you doing another review! I love reading your words and feel like we are friends that haven't met.

 

I have gotten a chuckle out of your internet withrawl (which is withdrawl I always look forward to when cruising). Hope your trip was enjoyable, internet addiction aside.

[Kokomo_Man]

LIVE!!!!! From The Carnival Valor

 

 

Last Day

 

Now that I’ve gotten my internet “fix” this morning I can enjoy the last sea day. One thing I want to add about the internet on board today is that it’s really “fast”… that is “fast” for a ship at sea… which means slow by most other standards. I suspect that “blazing speed” today is because most other folks have given up and I’m not having to compete for wireless bandwidth.

 

Today is like most “last sea days”. It’s more crowded by the pool than most of the other days. You can tell that most folks are not ready for the cruise to be over. They are all trying to get the most out of their last day at sea. That includes me. I probably won’t quit until late tonight.

 

You can also tell that everyone is now much more “laid back”… much more Caribbean-ized. There is not a pair of long pants in sight. Flip-Flops and sandals are the order of the day. Those who were wearing sandals with socks the first day have now lost the socks. The last formal night in the dining room really wasn’t formal at all. Instead, they were mostly dressed nicely in “cruise casual”. There was not a tux in sight except for the staff.

 

I like the less formal dress. There were many years when I wore a tie & such for work so I like to get away from that. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not suggesting flip-flops and swim-suits, but this is the Caribbean. An outrageously bright “parrot shirt” and nice sandals are the order of the day. Besides, I don’t own a tux and only wear a suit to funerals. And when the time for my non-funeral comes… I want a one of those outrageously bright parrot shirts, shorts and sandals.

 

Today is water-slide day. I and anyone traveling with me usually hits the water slide early on in the cruise. (All that is except for “The Woman to Blame”.) This time it was a little cool earlier in the cruise, so I wimped out. But today is perfect. So I’ll be doing that a little later today.

 

--- A little bit later ---

 

Yaaaahhhhooooooooooooo!!!.

 

I stopped the writing for a bit, and went to the casino to see if I could win enough for that new condo in Key Largo that I want. Well… I’m not buying a condo in Key Largo, but maybe I still have enough to buy a “pup-tent” and go camping with the alligators in the Everglades.

 

Then I went back to my cabin to change into my swim suit… it’s was time for the water slide. While I was in the cabin I looked out the window and could clearly see Cuba. On all my previous cruises I could only faintly ever see Cuba… in fact I was never sure that I was seeing Cuba or just some clouds at the horizon. But both coming and going this trip Cuba has been very visible. I guess there’s something about the “forbidden fruit” and I’m determined to make a trip to Cuba my next great adventure.

 

Anyway… I got my swimsuit on and went to the water-slide. Now I’m not a little kid… but there’s still a lot of little kid in me. (I hear you… naw… “no way”… you can’t tell that at all.) So there I was standing in line with all the little kids. But I wasn’t the only adult. There were a couple of ummmmm… Errrrrrr… well let’s just say, I needed to have my dark sun glasses.

 

Besides needing the dark sun glasses it’s a bit funny standing in line for a water-slide. I find myself listening to the advise from all the little kids on the best way to go down. Some like it on their belly feet first… some on their belly head first. But most advise that you sit down… grab the rails with your hands in front of you and pull your self forward as hard as you can to fling yourself down into the trough. Then as soon as you can, you lay down...

 

YAaaaaaaHHHHHOOOOOOOO!!! The technique had me flying down the waterslide just short of the speed of light… perhaps a little faster. The water slide is more cork-screw than slide. On this ship it drops two stories. And you continue to build speed most of the way. I was going so fast that I was worried that centrifugal force might fling me out of the corkscrew at any minute. Just when I know I was going to go flying out into outer space, the corkscrew emptied into a trough filled with water. I burrowed into the salt water like a torpedo and was completely submerged for a second or two until the water slowed me to a stop.

 

I scurried back to the top to do it again. While waiting in line I intently listened to all the kids describing inventive ways to do the water slide. All great sport! I don’t care how young or old you are… I don’t care how large or small you are… if you are able you should try this. And for those of us who aren’t kids any more… it’s good to be a kid again for at least just a little bit.

 

--- I’ll be back later for a bit more ---

 

Bob

Memories of Naked Fanny