Traveling WITHOUT children - mommy panic and withdrawl

[chasinraynbowz]

As a woman who raised 3 kids and now has grandkids....

 

GO AND HAVE FUN!!!!

 

Don't stress. As someone earlier said, your parents raised you and you turned out ok, right?

 

Our issues were the other way around. DH and I love to take the kids on vacation with us. Our oldest grandson has flown to California with us, driven to Colorado and gone to Gulf Shores with us... as well as many weekend trips. My DIL will let them go as long as we stay in the USA, but not on a cruise..... yet. But, just last week she finally agreed that is was ok to take the 5 year old next year, because he is asking to go... LOL!! We can't wait!!

[Athankfulheart]

I agree with those that have ordered you to " Go and have fun !".

We have 8 children and have taken several couples only vacations over the years. I have found it most difficult when there was a very small child left. It's just what mommies do :). You can do some things that make this a lot easier. These are things that keep me from missing or worrying about my kids while I'm gone. Some are things that others have already mentioned.

 

* Leave a signed consent to authorize medical care.

 

* Leave all the information that the caregiver will need relating to contacting you, tending to the kid's schedules (school?) as well as other items that might be second nature to you but unknown to the caregiver.

 

* Leave a project for your kids to accomplish while you are gone. We leave a word find book and a puzzle. We choose all the word finds that go with the theme of our trip and circle those pages. There are titles such as " The Beach " " Taking Off" etc in many of the books you can find at the $ store. Our children are wise guys, so we also pull out the answer key :p.

Both the word finds and the puzzle must be completed before we get home and a prize is awarded if they are done. This promotes working together and not having too much lazy time while we are gone.

 

* Leave a gift bag for each day. Our kids really look fwd to these. They often include a DVD, a game, a snack for all - maybe something holiday related ( this year will be st pattys day ). We try to be very creative on this and start working on them way ahead of time. This is not only fun for the kids but also helps us to feel better about taking our time out from parenting :o

 

* We usually leave when our children are still sleeping, so we have done some fun things for them to find when they wake up. Last year we drew all over the fridge with dry erase markers - pictures and thier names an how much we loved them. We also left the makings for a "tiny breakfast" which was inspired by a tiny t-fal frying pan that we came across while grocery shopping. We included small eggs, a loaf of cocktail bread ( found in deli section), a bunch of mini bananas etc... It just so happened that this was when the movie Despicable Me had come out on video so we printed out a picture of "Vector" in his orange warm up suit and added text about the "shrunken breakfast". This was a huge hit. This year we are leaving during waking hours, so I need to think of a new idea. Maybe we will just have an old fashioned Bon Voyage party :D

 

 

I find that these things help assuage the mom guilt for leaving them, but honestly they do have a wonderful time while we are away. I don't "miss" my kids anymore when we go on vacation. Their ages ( youngest is 5) plus the fact that I spend more time with my kids than the average bear since we home school probably have alot to do with it.

 

Have fun on your trip !!!

[divngmedic]

Thanks for the information. We look forward to traveling with our children when they are a bit older, but I'm not taking a 3 year old and 1 year old on a cruise! :)

Be careful or before you can take them on cruise there will a third to take.:p;):D:eek:

[jdvmd]

I know what you are going through. By Day 2, you should be able to enjoy yourself. That said, you do need to have a notorized statement. We do a Medical Power of Attorney as well as a Temporary Guardianship. Your parents would not be able to do anything for your children if there were a medical emergency. The hospital/doctors would need to reach you for permission. I would not take that risk with wasting time. Whenever we take our kids's friends with us, we also have the above from their parents so we can make quick decisions if we had to. Have a good time. It will be hard the first time but you will survive.

[Blueboss]

I can relate somewhat to the concerns of the OP. I left my son home for a week while the rest of the family went on a cruise. He chose not to go, had school, work and military obligations. Although he was 17, I still had concerns about it. His boss was the adult in charge while we were gone. I notified the school of this, got a med POA and gave son an insurance card to carry. He called his boss every evening and then checked in with us on Facebook. We bought an hour of internet time for around $30, it was more than enough time for us. As a mom you will always worry about the kids, but you do need adult time with your spouse. Let the grandparents spoil the kids, you spoil yourself for a few days. Enjoy!

[thesuffering]

we are going on our first cruise in a couple weeks and leaving our two kids (8 & 5) with their grandparents. Its a 7 day cruise, so we were getting really bummed thinking about not being able to talk to them. I researched. AT&T wants an arm and a leg to use the cellphone on the ship, and in port (mexican riviera) its not much better either. I did find an international sim from national geographic for $50 and like an hour of airtime, but i still searched for a cheaper option. I installed skype on my android phone, turned it to airplane mode with wifi only working and tested it out. at home it worked great. Our two ports do offer wifi in town so as long as the internet connection is decent we should be able to talk to our kids for free over skype. its worth a try at least.

[paul929207]

As you say the best bet is finding free wifi in the port. McDonalds usually have it. Check with your waiter or cabin steward. They usually know the cheap places.

[Blueboss]

we are going on our first cruise in a couple weeks and leaving our two kids (8 & 5) with their grandparents. Its a 7 day cruise, so we were getting really bummed thinking about not being able to talk to them. I researched. AT&T wants an arm and a leg to use the cellphone on the ship, and in port (mexican riviera) its not much better either. I did find an international sim from national geographic for $50 and like an hour of airtime, but i still searched for a cheaper option. I installed skype on my android phone, turned it to airplane mode with wifi only working and tested it out. at home it worked great. Our two ports do offer wifi in town so as long as the internet connection is decent we should be able to talk to our kids for free over skype. its worth a try at least.

 

I would have a backup plan as well. AT&T told us our phones would work in Mexico. At a Cozumel beach club, I tried to send a text and make a call, it wouldn't go through. I'm no techy, I had signal, it just didn't work. My sister had Verizon and her phone did the same thing. That's why we bought an hour of internet on the ship and used Facebook. We both left kids at home and needed to reassure ourselves that they were fine. It was worth every dime we spent.

[meggie711]

Have you thought about doing a practice run? Since the trip isn't until April, maybe consider arranging to leave them with the grandparents for a weekend? Even if you just stay at home, this would give the parents, the kids, and the grandparents practice with you being gone. We had to leave my son with my parents when he was only about a month old because my husband and I had the flu. On top of that, my son was sick too. He stayed with them for a week and it was absolute torture. Even though we would have preferred that we didn't have to do that, it gave us good experience with being away from him. After that, it wasn't a big deal to go on a weekend vacation. From there, we ended up going on a short cruise when he was 1.5 old. Now we're planning a 7 day. :)

[Alaskanb]

Make sure that your parents know your preferred doctors, dentists etc. We have a permission for care form filed with our grandson's pediatric practice and one also at our home.

[sarafinadh]

Try to not let the kids' (natural) distress at you leaving weigh on you too much. Make the goodbyes warm and brief. They will recover sooner if they have less chance to fret.

 

Honest, They will be fine while you are gone.

 

We are leaving for a week next Tuesday and our daughter is already pouting about being left.

 

And she is 18 ; -D

[tmealer]

Everyone here is probably going to laugh @ me, because my sons are all grown! They are 24, 22, & 19. They are all on their own now, 2 in college, the oldest a trucker.

Hubby & I have taken mini vacations without them before, but we have always had our cell phones and lap tops with us.

Now with us going to sail on our 1st cruise in May, I'm nervous about being so FAR away from them, lol I KNOW that they can call us if an emergency comes up.

Also I worry about leaving my little baby dogs @ home that week.

Guess I'm just being MOM.

On the other hand I am excited. Only 93 days left.

Terri in TN

[Mommyof3boys]

We are leaving our kids (9,6 and 3) as well. We have done 2 nighters but never 8days. I am a bit antsy but know that they will be in good hands with their grandparents.

[Martini Mom]

When we leave the kids with Grandma, for a cruise or otherwise, I leave a medical release form with her. It not only includes the release, but also any allergies, their date of birth (in case she forgets in a panic), where their records are (which hospital), and their insurance info.

 

I also give all of our parents a copy of our itinerary. I also give them emergency phone contact info for our ship. You can also give your family to link to your ship's webcam (if it has one), so they can see where the ship is. My kids like that.

 

We have used the ship's internet to "touch base" for our long cruise.

 

Every marriage needs some time away from the kids to reconnect. I liek this quote, “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” ― John Wooden

 

Have fun and try not to worry Mom :D

[energizer7]

If we go away for any period of time, we make a 'while we are away' book. In that we leave all the important phone numbers, contact information, medical release and itinerary of where we will be. It also describes all routines for each individual child. Plus any other routine that would be important for the caregivers (my sister and parents)to know. I also put in the menu for the week and the food is pre-prepared in the freezer. This takes a bit of preparation but my sister sure appreciates it and it gives her all the information she needs and it keeps the children's routine as consistant as possible. We also leave special notes and gifts to be given throughout the time we are gone. :)

[mitsugirly]

Questions:

Is there anything out of the norm we should have prepared prior to our trip? Our travel agent mentioned a notarized document authorizing the caregivers to get the children medical treatment if needed. Is that really needed? They will be with their grandparents; God forbid if something happens can't they just take them to the ER?

 

Just wanted to chime in on the notarized document for a caregiver (I did not read the responses, so this might have been covered)...you should always have this for your children if you are away from them. I work in the ER at the local hospital and we are not allowed to touch a child without the PARENTS authorization or we have to talk to them on the phone. Even though they are the grandparents, they will need to know you are giving them permission for treatment if needed. :) Better to be safe than sorry and you can just write up a statement and go to your bank and they will notarize it for free.

[Seago2]

Everyone here is probably going to laugh @ me, because my sons are all grown! They are 24, 22, & 19. They are all on their own now, 2 in college, the oldest a trucker.

Hubby & I have taken mini vacations without them before, but we have always had our cell phones and lap tops with us.

Now with us going to sail on our 1st cruise in May, I'm nervous about being so FAR away from them, lol I KNOW that they can call us if an emergency comes up.

Also I worry about leaving my little baby dogs @ home that week.

Guess I'm just being MOM.

On the other hand I am excited. Only 93 days left.

Terri in TN

 

I'm leaving my 27, 22, 20, 17 and 13 year old sons tonight. Guilt!!!!!

[alj1208]

OK. Here's a confession: I would leave my DS, 5, in a heartbeat to go on a cruise ALONE with my DH! I am a stay-at-home-mom, and I could really use a little adult time. Unfortunately, we don't have family with whom we could leave our son, so we took him with us on our cruise last year. It was a great family vacation. BUT, I would give anything to have a grown-up vacation with hubby. I don't think I'm a bad mom; indeed, I am completely devoted to my only child. If you're leaving your kids with the g-rents, and you trust them completely, go ahead an get a signed document allowing them to make medical decisions, but PLEASE, don't let your worries ruin a great vacation. Once you get onto the ship, order a drink, put your arms around hubby, and ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would if I could :)

[Seago2]

OK. Here's a confession: I would leave my DS, 5, in a heartbeat to go on a cruise ALONE with my DH! I am a stay-at-home-mom, and I could really use a little adult time. Unfortunately, we don't have family with whom we could leave our son, so we took him with us on our cruise last year. It was a great family vacation. BUT, I would give anything to have a grown-up vacation with hubby. I don't think I'm a bad mom; indeed, I am completely devoted to my only child. If you're leaving your kids with the g-rents, and you trust them completely, go ahead an get a signed document allowing them to make medical decisions, but PLEASE, don't let your worries ruin a great vacation. Once you get onto the ship, order a drink, put your arms around hubby, and ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would if I could :)

 

On my way!! No guilt :)

[energizer7]

We are leaving 8 children behind....not feeling guilty ...a teensy bit worried perhaps, for the younger ones because it's the longest we have ever left them and our first time cruising. However we are leaving them in the very capable hands of family and trusting they will enjoy the break in their regular routine...It's always tough to leave but everyone needs to take time for themselves, especially as a couple and we believe it makes us better parents...They will enjoy watching the ship leave on the ft lauderdale webcam and we have things set up so they receive "goodies" from us throughout the 2 weeks we are gone. My sister will need a holiday when we get back! 33 days we leave, 35 days were are cruisin' can't wait! :D

[MrYellowDuck]

It still think this is bizarre.

 

There are no likely circumstances where we would go off on holiday and leave our kids behind. If we couldn't afford a particular holiday with the kids then we'd choose a cheaper one.

 

I guess we knew the "job" was full time and decades long when we signed up too.

[Seago2]

It still think this is bizarre.

 

There are no likely circumstances where we would go off on holiday and leave our kids behind. If we couldn't afford a particular holiday with the kids then we'd choose a cheaper one.

 

I guess we knew the "job" was full time and decades long when we signed up too.

 

Lol. I can't wait to get on my cruise and take a break from CC.

[NMLady]

Just wanted to chime in on the notarized document for a caregiver (I did not read the responses, so this might have been covered)...you should always have this for your children if you are away from them. I work in the ER at the local hospital and we are not allowed to touch a child without the PARENTS authorization or we have to talk to them on the phone. Even though they are the grandparents, they will need to know you are giving them permission for treatment if needed. :) Better to be safe than sorry and you can just write up a statement and go to your bank and they will notarize it for free.

 

Not being able to get emergency treatment for a grandson has been our experience too. When we had our grandsons with us at home we had a notarized form from their mother, the custodial parent, giving permission for emergency care. However, when my husband had to pick up our grandson at Daycare to take him to the ER for an eye infection he didn't go home to get the form and the Drs wouldn't treat grandson without it. So they called gs's mother who lived in another state so she could give her consent.

So definitely get a notarized form for medical treatment.

[Athankfulheart]

We are leaving 8 children behind....not feeling guilty ...a teensy bit worried perhaps, for the younger ones because it's the longest we have ever left them and our first time cruising. However we are leaving them in the very capable hands of family and trusting they will enjoy the break in their regular routine...It's always tough to leave but everyone needs to take time for themselves, especially as a couple and we believe it makes us better parents...They will enjoy watching the ship leave on the ft lauderdale webcam and we have things set up so they receive "goodies" from us throughout the 2 weeks we are gone. My sister will need a holiday when we get back! 33 days we leave, 35 days were are cruisin' can't wait! :D

 

 

You are so right. The very best thing that we can give our children is a loving, stable marriage. Also, when our children are grown and leading lives of their own, we do not want to be strangers. We have 8 children and the older two (adults) will be caring for the rest while we are gone. They are most capable and trustworthy and I won't think twice about them while we are gone. We have rendevous points set up with them ahead of time for webcams and skype. Its lots of fun for all.

[energizer7]

It still think this is bizarre.

 

There are no likely circumstances where we would go off on holiday and leave our kids behind. If we couldn't afford a particular holiday with the kids then we'd choose a cheaper one.

 

I guess we knew the "job" was full time and decades long when we signed up too.

I totally agree, raising children is a 24/7 job and deserves our attention. It's more than decades long..it is a lifetime of commitment and we knew that when we adopted our children. Having said that, before we adopted we made a lifetime commitment to each other in our marriage and that also deserves our time and attention because it is 24/7 forever. So we do our best to balance our lives. We do many activities and holidays with our children throughout the year but we also have 'date nights' for ourselves..and take time to refresh our relationship just the 2 of us...once in awhile we get to take a special vacation alone. It makes us better parents and when the time comes and there are no more children living in the house, we will have a strong relationship and know how to enjoy each other's company....in our experience it's worked for 30 years....oh and as a footnote, our older children tell us it is nice once in awhile to not have mom and dad always around...guess they need a break from us too...just a thought.....