Toddlers and the MDR - AHHHHHHH

[yj2cute]

Totally agree with this. My kids are now 15 and 18. When DS was a baby/toddler we could take him anywhere because he rarely cried and when he did he was easy to calm. On those rare occasions when he did cry, we would simply take him out of the room for a few seconds and that was all we needed. DD on the other hand cried until she could talk. We went for 2 1/2 years avoiding sit down restaurants because she could not be calmed once the crying started. I would not subject anyone to that...it is rude.

 

At that age, the improper behavior is not the child's, it's the parents. They know their kids and what they can handle. Yes there are occassional melt downs by "good kids". The proper resonse with them is to take them out of the room and calm them down. If that can not be done that get your meal to go and leave the other patrons to eat in peace. If you have a child like DD, then don't put the child in those type of situations where you KNOW they will not do well. It's not good for the child or anyone else for that matter. Why subject everyone to that? It's selfish and poor behavior on the part of the parent.

 

IMHO, once children can talk and understand, then discipline takes over. Parents need to teach their children how to act in a sit down restaurant. If you haven't taught your child how to do that, then you may want think twice about putting them through an 1 1/2 - 2 hour meal. Again...why make the child and everyone else suffer? When I say taught your child....I mean no getting up from their chair, inside voices, and eating...not playing with their food. This sometimes means that the parent needs to interact more with the child to keep them patient. For example...playing I Spy or tic tac toe with them. Both of my children could sit through a 2 hour meal by the time they were 3. DS could do it before then. We taught them early what proper behavior was and we interacted with them so they didn't get bored. That was our job as parents.

 

Some parents liked to place blame on the situation (the child is tired or they are hungry). IMHO that's the parents fault. If you know your child is tired or hungry then don't take them to a sit down restaurant where they need to wait for their food. Again this is our job as parents to take care of the needs of our children...we shouldn't subject innocent bystanders to our child's mood because we neglected to get them sleep or food when they needed it.

 

Sorry this long...but I just think if parents would use a little more common sense and discipline (no hitting or even yelling is necessary to properly discipline), then this world would be much better place to be in for all of us.

 

LIKE!!! Its so refreshing to see some responsible parents who realize that when you decided to have children you agreed to raise them in the way that they should go and if that means foregoing some activities until they are ready, so be it!

 

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[bia]

Without knowing my family situation, I find your statement to be rude & uncalled for. The children in question are not "my" grandchildren. Had I attempted to take charge of their behavior, or criticize their upbringing, their parents would have removed them from our lives completely and broken my husband's heart.

 

I hope you never find yourself in a difficult family situation............ You obviously are too opinionated to be able to handle it properly!

you did the right thing. some dil and ds would remove grandchildren from our lives in a heart beat because they can. i truly understand difficult family situations.

bia

[TheCalicoCat]

A windjammer is the ultimate type of large sailing ship with an iron or for the most part steel hull, built to carry cargo in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century. Windjammers were the grandest of merchant sailing ships, with between three and five large masts and square sails, giving them a characteristic profile.

 

 

The windjammers were cargo ships designed for long voyages. They usually carried bulk cargo, such as lumber, guano, grain or ore from one continent to another, usually following the prevailing winds and circumnavigating the globe during their voyages. Several of these ships are still in existence — either as school ships, museum ships or restaurant ships.

 

 

That's what I thought which is why I asked!

[flhokie]

We'll be sailing with DD for the first time next year when she's 2 1/2. We plan to eat in the MDR, but if she mis-behaves one of us will be taking her out.

 

People told me that my thoughts about this type of issue would change after having a child, but they havent....

 

I fly all the time for work and see the parents ignoring misbehaving children all the time. When the parents are trying to work with the child/paying attention to the child, I often ignore the behavior or ask if there's anything they need or try to distract the child (if I'm close enough). But, when they ignore the child and/or the behavior I get upset. Last week a parent got mad at the flight attendant because she told her the 2 year old had to be buckled in for takeoff and landing. Also, when the child was screaming his head off (angry screams) continuously (in 1st class), mom would occassionally turn to him and say "shh," that was the extent of trying to get him to behave. She brought 1 toy with them and after the flight attendant had to explain to her that the child couldn't throw it around the cabin she put it away. In these cases (and the case of the OP from what it sounds like) the parents are the biggest issue.

 

Also, it starts at home and in every day life. We take our daughter out to dinner fairly regularly with her grandparents. We are prepared with snacks and toys to entertain her and are prepared to remove her if she gets really bad (we haven't had to do this yet, but I'm sure it will happen). When we cruise, she will be used to sitting in a high chair or booster seat in a restaurant and we'll make sure we have things to keep her occupied (we'll be traveling with a large group, including 2 sets of grandparents so that shouldn't be too hard). If we decide to do a specialty restaurant we will take advantage of the babysitting onboard (Allure).

[MrsK2008]

I know that I will get all types of hate posts, but I'll say it anyway - if your kid (age 0 to 80+) is crying, squawking, or otherwise making all types of loud noises in the MDR, PLEASE take them outside, to the babysitters, eat at the Windjammer, etc…..PLEASE!!! If your kid can sit still and be relatively quiet, feel free to dine in the MDR, otherwise please make other arrangements!!!!

 

I get it.....I have kids. We didn't go out to dinner until they were old enough to behave in public and could sit still for an hour. I also totally get that kids make noise, SOME noise - but the kid sitting at the table next to us cried through every meal…..and the parents did NOTHING!!! It was especially bothersome on formal night. The last night the kid was so cranky that the parents just took him out of the high chair and let him run around the dining room!!

 

I DO understand that they paid for the cruise as well and that they have the ‘right’ to eat in the MDR, but when your kid is preventing me from having a conversation or is incessantly squawking at the top of his lungs, maybe it’s time to go to the Windjammer or get a sitter for a few hours. Come on people….use a little common sense here!

 

Why is it just sooooo hard to be considerate??? Flame away, but it won’t change my mind!

 

Uggh, another complainer! Sorry, but you will see families whether you in the MDR at sea or your favorite restaurant on land.

I agree that the parents need to parent and know when to remove their child when they are loud or misbehave! I have a toddler and I just got off a cruise. For the most part, she was fine and ate her food, but there were a few times when we had to take a walk out of the dining room because she couldn't sit still. Parents should know when to abort the mission when their children start acting up -in any place!

I just don't understand why you needed to complain on the family board about your experience in the MDR because you had a hard time tolerating some bad kids.

[CaroleSS]

MrsK,

I am the OP. Sorry to burst yoru bubble, but the thread started out on the RCCL board site. CC moved it here - not me.

 

The over riding theme is that parents need to PARENT. They need to know when their children are misbehaving and DO something about it. These parents just let their kid cry, wiggle, run inthe aisles, etc and just went blindly about their dinner. I probably could have put up with it, but when it happened on formal night as well, that was it!

 

We need to be less obcessed with ourselves and think just the teeniest bit about those around us - and the impact we might be having upon them....that's all.

[bralli]

These parents just let their kid.... wiggle....

 

Oh, the humanity...

[scarlett81]

Oh, the humanity...

 

Hahahaha!

 

OK, Cry, -That shouldn't be tolerated, absolutely!

 

Outside of that, you sound like you just don't want kids aboard, and if thats the case then write, or fill out that questionaire and tell them they shouldn't allow kids under a certain age for certain or all sailings.

 

The reality is that you have no right to complain here or anywhere about kids onboard, when the cruise ship you are choosing allows them. Shell out the money for one of the few lines that openly discourages or doesn't allow children aboard.

As for us, we just took our 1 yo and 5 yo on a Crystal cruise and we were encouraged by all Crystal reps to book with them! They LOVED taking $25,000 from me! (fyi our response from ALL staff and 99% of cruisers was positivity and joy)

 

If I'm letting my kids cry, yell, or throw food..then flame me all you want. Outside of that. Get. A. Life.

[angelndscz]

I love kids, have 4 of my own, been the team mom of several teams (baseball, soccer, cheer, lacrosse, and hockey), nieces, nephews, cousins kids, etc. But I have very little patients for parents who do not discipline their kids. I find it extremely rude if parents allow their kids bad behavior to annoy those dining around them. I have actually become very bold lately to people cutting in line in front of me and those who allow their kids to behave poorly in public. So if the parents want to be rude, I might be as well and give them my $0.02 or constructive criticism as some might call it. It has nothing to do with not wanting kids in the MDR, but everything to do with parents being mindful of their children's behavior and their surroundings.

 

These threads make me think of my husband's second/third? cousin's post once on facebook (notice I stated it is not my relative... ha ha) where she went to the beach with her kids and someone else. The lifeguard at the beach came up to her while she was tanning and told the mom that she needed to keep a better eye on her kids. The mom got mad at the lifeguard and snapped at him that was "his job." Then proceeded to post rude comments about the lifeguard on facebook. Mind you her kids were very young although I would have to log-in as my husband on facebook to try to find their ages but at least one of them is not school age yet. Really? Yea. Um. :-(

[CaroleSS]

I am a mother of two and am NOT suggesting as many of you suggest that cruise lines ban all children. If you think so YOU should get off your high horse and Get.A.Life!

 

What I posted and what someof you fail to understand was that I was passing along a story of my experience with oblivious and thoughtless parents who felt as if they were ever so much more important that the whole rest of the folk around them and as such allowed their child to misbehave.....totally unfettered.

 

As I stated before, I originally posted in the RCCL board - as the cruise was aboard an RCCL ship. *I* did not post it in the Family Cruises board!!!! It was never intended to upset your sensitivities......just a simple request for parents to control their children and NOT let them throw food, cry, run amok. Why does that concept excape you?

[scarlett81]

I am a mother of two and am NOT suggesting as many of you suggest that cruise lines ban all children. If you think so YOU should get off your high horse and Get.A.Life!

 

What I posted and what someof you fail to understand was that I was passing along a story of my experience with oblivious and thoughtless parents who felt as if they were ever so much more important that the whole rest of the folk around them and as such allowed their child to misbehave.....totally unfettered.

 

As I stated before, I originally posted in the RCCL board - as the cruise was aboard an RCCL ship. *I* did not post it in the Family Cruises board!!!! It was never intended to upset your sensitivities......just a simple request for parents to control their children and NOT let them throw food, cry, run amok. Why does that concept excape you?

 

I know you weren't suggesting it, I was suggesting it. If there are folks that don't want to be onboard with kids, period, then maybe they should request child free sailings and see what the cruise lines say. When I called Regent, for example, the rep made it clear that kids wouldn't be welcome on certain sailings, but gave me options for other sailings that were encouraging families. I had also called Seabourn and was told no kids, (under a certain age) period. I appreciate that info, for my family, and for my fellow passengers.

 

Unfortunately, oblivious and thoughtless parents are rampant right now, on cruiseships, Walmart, Disneyworld, schools, everywhere. Whats frustrating to some of us parents on boards like this is that to some, (maybe not you), ALL children/parents get flamed and blamed for the obnoxious few.

 

As I said in another thread, I don't tolerate my kids making loud noise, screaming, throwing food, period...on a cruise ship. However I also don't tolerate that at McDonald's. Manners are manners universally. I say get a life to the few cranks out there that don't want my kids presence there, period.

[MrsK2008]

MrsK,

I am the OP. Sorry to burst yoru bubble, but the thread started out on the RCCL board site. CC moved it here - not me.

 

The over riding theme is that parents need to PARENT. They need to know when their children are misbehaving and DO something about it. These parents just let their kid cry, wiggle, run inthe aisles, etc and just went blindly about their dinner. I probably could have put up with it, but when it happened on formal night as well, that was it!

 

We need to be less obcessed with ourselves and think just the teeniest bit about those around us - and the impact we might be having upon them....that's all.

 

You're right - we all need to be less obcessed with ourselves! Not only parents but all adults! I'm not going to complain about how people drink too much on cruises because of one lady on my cruise last week was a bit tipsy, walked right into me and knocked my drink all over me! But when we vacation with thousands of other people, you are bound to have people bother you in some way or another, whether children in the MDR or people knocking drinks on you.

I just don't get why people that have a bad experience with ruly kids on cruises that they need complain about it. Trust me, when my daughter acts up, I'm first person she is annoying and have taken a few walks during dinner time. But I don't want to be told by fellow cruisers that I should dine in the buffet because you can hear my child!

[CaroleSS]

Once is fine, Twice is tolerable......but 5 - 6 times in a row.....EVERY night.......come on!

[MrsK2008]

Once is fine, Twice is tolerable......but 5 - 6 times in a row.....EVERY night.......come on!

 

Not good Karma for you on that cruise! Did you go during school vacation week? After the third time, I would have asked the matre 'd to sit you away from families.

[jules1121]

I'm not going to complain about how people drink too much on cruises because of one lady on my cruise last week was a bit tipsy, walked right into me and knocked my drink all over me! But when we vacation with thousands of other people, you are bound to have people bother you in some way or another, whether children in the MDR or people knocking drinks on you.

I just don't get why people that have a bad experience with ruly kids on cruises that they need complain about it. Trust me, when my daughter acts up, I'm first person she is annoying and have taken a few walks during dinner time. But I don't want to be told by fellow cruisers that I should dine in the buffet because you can hear my child!

 

Like! The point is every once in a blue moon we are all annoyed by some unruly kid somewhere. Every once in a while you also will get annoyed by some drunk somewhere, some loud obnoxious person, or some demanding rude person, or some rude or lazy server. Because you had one annoying kid not far from you in the MDR you choose to come on CC start a post telling everyone how others should parent and you and others will complain about how people don't parent their kids.

You seem to forget about the other 50 + kids who have probably eaten around you recently that DIDN'T act up because you didn't notice them. You noticed the one that did and decided to generalize and gripe.

 

The majority of parents will parent their kids and take them out if they act up and none of them will do it just because you posted telling them to do it. The only thing a post like yours does is inflame the kid haters (and yep there are plenty on here who claim to love and have kids but seem to think kids should shut up and disappear in public:rolleyes:) and make good parents have to deal with more BS when they travel with their kids. Nice job thinking out the effect your post would have.

 

As a side note let me make it clear my issue isn't with posting a vent that you had a kid by you in the MDR that acted up and affected your dining enjoyment. That really DOES suck and that parent should have handled it differently and I would be really annoyed too. But there is a far leap from that to coming on CC and griping about how parents and kids should act in the MDR and where they should eat.

[CaroleSS]

Not good Karma for you on that cruise! Did you go during school vacation week? After the third time, I would have asked the matre 'd to sit you away from families.

 

We went the first week in May. It would have been difficult for us to move to a different table as there were 9 in our party. In retrospect, I should have.

 

Jules: Please tell me where I generalized and said ALL kids should be banned or that ANY family with kids can only eat on a deserted island?? I didn't gripe about ALL parents, just this one set. It was a venting of my experience and an opportunity for some to recognize themselves and possibly take heed.

 

CC is a place where ideas can be shared. There are plenty of threads where people gripe about topic A or topic B. That comes with the territory. Topics about kids can't all be about rainbows and fairys.

[yj2cute]

I don't understand the attacks on the OP here.

 

Why she came here to complain is because the name of this board is CRUISE CRITIC. I would be thoroughly annoyed if I were in her situation as well. No one said anything about banning children all together, but of course someone had to start beating that dead horse. What the OP said, and the sentiment is shared by many, is that her dining experience was negatively impacted by an ineffective parent. I think the ones who are so bothered by her post may be feeling a bit guilty.

 

In any event, this is a message board, to be used for the purpose to discuss, critique and share information about cruises. Good, bad and indifferent. If anyone here doesn't like, maybe they should find a different board to frequent. Maybe the DIS boards, where everything is sunshine and lollipops. :rolleyes:

[jules1121]

Deserted island?? All families banned??? :confused: I didn't say anything like that. :p I said you shouldn't come on here and tell people how to parent or where they should eat (quote below, last one from a later post). Sometimes it sucks but its not possible to come on a public forum and tell others guidelines for parenting (like "relatively quiet" and "sitting still" can vary by definition from person to person). It can be such a grey area and will bring out the kid haters to agree and tell everyone how to discipline their kids.:rolleyes:

 

Personally I would have been ready to throttle those parents but I am betting either A. they were so used to the noise they didn't really notice or B. they were just rude inconsiderate people and rude inconsiderate people make rude inconsiderate parents.

 

In rereading your OP and your other posts specifically, you are correct that some of my response isn't directed at your OP but some of the posters and I appolgize for that. :)

 

My point is most parents who cruise with their kids will parent their kids (distraction works or taking walks can work great). I cruise with my kids and I was so worried about cruising with my DD impacting someone else's dinner when she was two I made sure we had a table for just our family. We have had some wonderful family vacations and as far as I know we never impacted someone else's dining experience which is the way it should be. But sometimes we have to cut parents a little slack (actually I try to do that for parents, seniors, young people, waiters, etc). Sometimes they think their child is going to act fine (and maybe usually does) and then in the middle of the meal, they suddenly don't.

Eek, for most parents no one is more mortified about the situation than them. Its hard to figure out sometimes if you can nip it fast or should you drag a child kicking and screaming out of a resturaunt. I remember going to some friends' house for Easter dinner and my normally sweet child threw a fit. I wanted to drag her out of there and hide under a rock. The other couples there all had older/grown children and unlike me they weren't upset or phased, said they remembered that age and just smiled.

We have plenty of people on CC who can easily use the example of one rotten kid (really parents) gripe post as justification to go around telling other people how they shouldn't cruise with their kids and other such rude comments. :rolleyes: It can be very annoying and unnerving for decent parents booking a family vacation coming on here looking for info. After researching on here before my first cruise with DD I was just about convinced people would be glaring and making rude comments on the ship because of all the CC comments I saw! :o

 

My real concern is when comments drive the type of behavior in the example from my friends experience last month. A friend of mine was flying with her girls recently. Her girls were quietly reading in their seats when a guy came to sit in the row behind them (bumping everyone and not saying excuse me to anyone) and said rahter rudely, "Are you girls going to behave on this flight?" Without missing a beat my friend said, "They will if you will". Apparently the guy got the hint and looked embarassed when he realized he was being rude. Parents shouldn't have to deal with that kind of people anymore than anyone should have to deal with multiple evenings of a screaming kid. (One evening would have been forgivable but every evening of your cruise IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE)

 

if your kid (age 0 to 80+) is crying, squawking, or otherwise making all types of loud noises in the MDR, PLEASE take them outside, to the babysitters, eat at the Windjammer, etc…..PLEASE!!! If your kid can sit still and be relatively quiet, feel free to dine in the MDR, otherwise please make other arrangements!!!!

 

maybe it’s time to go to the Windjammer or get a sitter for a few hours.

 

The over riding theme is that parents need to PARENT.

[parallax]

Bad behavior is bad behavior and it does not matter who is the originator, kids or adults. I think that the one thing that I find interesting about this board is that boorish behavior of an adult is much more acceptable among the participants than a misbehaving child. There is a sense of entitlement among many passengers. They are like a bad HOA that wants to regulate ever aspect related to your home. Accordingly, there are common themes that many would like to see enacted: no smokers, no kids etc. For a cruise line to be economically viable, it needs to have a broad appeal. It needs to take a multi-generational in approach. Therefore, outside the luxury lines, kids are always going to be part of the equation.

[CaroleSS]

I don't understand the attacks on the OP here.

 

Why she came here to complain is because the name of this board is CRUISE CRITIC. I would be thoroughly annoyed if I were in her situation as well. No one said anything about banning children all together, but of course someone had to start beating that dead horse. What the OP said, and the sentiment is shared by many, is that her dining experience was negatively impacted by an ineffective parent. I think the ones who are so bothered by her post may be feeling a bit guilty.

 

In any event, this is a message board, to be used for the purpose to discuss, critique and share information about cruises. Good, bad and indifferent. If anyone here doesn't like, maybe they should find a different board to frequent. Maybe the DIS boards, where everything is sunshine and lollipops. :rolleyes:

 

 

Thank you for your support.

I have said my piece. I will not post again.

[poppetts]

Personally i think the OP should have moved tables or dining room. Time to look at river cruises or the QM2, much less chance of kids there , or better still stay at home!!

[JMHAM1]

First off I have 6 kids so I feel like I have earned the right to say my piece on this subject.

 

IF you take your child out you DO have an obligation to your child and the other diners and yourself to be smart about it.

 

• Pick a good time for your child
  
• Let the waiter know that you have a little and tell them to go ahead and bring out their food first
  
• Don't expect your toddler to sit for 2 hours over a leisurely meal cuz to them it is BOR-ING!
  
• If your child starts to pitch a fit, take them out to calm down.
  
• You may even have to skip dessert!
  

OK I'm off my soapbox now. We dine out quite often and get complimented on our children's behavior. That above all makes Mom smile!

 

 

 

So if parents would adjust their expectations and work with their child a good time can be had by all but maybe not in the specialty restaurants! :p

[bplazo]

Personally i think the OP should have moved tables or dining room. Time to look at river cruises or the QM2, much less chance of kids there , or better still stay at home!!

 

Excurse me but the OP has mentioned serveral times that they have a large table and it would have been difficut to move tables, and why should she? The parents need to make there children behave and stop the screaming, crying and running around. Why should the op have to move? The family should have been asked to leave if they could not calm their child down.

 

I have really not seen any misbehaving children on our cruises, but if I did,I would by annoyed and I would also be complaining.

 

I have to wonder why this was originaly on the RCCL boards and moved to the family boards.

 

Great parents are appreciated.

[bralli]

First off I have 6 kids so I feel like I have earned the right to say my piece on this subject.

 

IF you take your child out you DO have an obligation to your child and the other diners and yourself to be smart about it.

 

Yes, well said. Those of us WITH well behaved kids (at least I hope that is the reality...) shouldn't be making excuses for rude parents. It's not the end of the world for a parent to walk a screaming toddler out of the dining room for a few minutes. Personally I usually take mine out on the windy deck for a few seconds and shock them into submission. ;)

[yj2cute]

Yes, well said. Those of us WITH well behaved kids (at least I hope that is the reality...) shouldn't be making excuses for rude parents. It's not the end of the world for a parent to walk a screaming toddler out of the dining room for a few minutes. Personally I usually take mine out on the windy deck for a few seconds and shock them into submission. ;)

 

LIKE!

 

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