For Pam in California..........

[venicecruiser]

I remember reading that you scattered your brothers (or brother-in-laws) ashes at sea while on a Princess ship.

 

I will be on the Grand in December and want to scatter my husband's ashes at sea.

 

I would very much appreciate it if you could tell me what is involved. For example, when is it done, which deck is it done from, does a staff member or officer assist you, etc. Also, when should I contact Marine Services?

 

Thanks very much........

 

Claudia

[mrsihopes]

Would like to know also Pam, we will be doing that soon also.

[bconley351]

I had copied the text of the posting, as burial at sea, in the same general area of my stepfather, is my mother's request. Here is the info:

 

 

Distributing Ashes at Sea; Our Experience

________________________________________

Many of you followed my thread from a year ago when my brother-in-law got sick while on the Coral Princess and subsequently passed away. He wanted to be cremated and sent out to sea, so we planned a family cruise on the January 5-15, 2011 Sapphire Princess, and I arranged with Princess to distribute his ashes.

 

The purpose of this thread is to provide information for those who might be considering this. It's illegal to do this on your own without permission or within 12 miles of the U.S. so please keep this in mind if you respond.

 

On April 16, 2010, I faxed my request to the Princess Marine Department, 661-753-0214, and included my full name, booking #, cruise # and date, cabin #, phone # and email address. I received an email response on April 19th from Janine Curry, Secretary to Alan Wilson, Vice President, Marine Operations, with the approval and a letter which I've copied below:

 

"Thank you for your request to spread ashes while at sea during your cruise onboard the Sapphire Princess, cruise #H102N, commencing January 5, 2011.

 

"We would like to inform you of the following:

 

* Ashes must be contained in a biodegradable urn

* Ashes/Flowers may only be spread in International waters

* In accordance with environmental laws, only ashes, biodegradeable urns and biodegradeable flowers are permitted to be spread overboard. Cards, paper, metals, plastics and other non-biodegradeable items are not permitted.

* Our ships do not employ a Chaplain

 

"The ship will be notified of your request and you shall be contacted while onboard. You will be informed of an appropriate time to carry out the spreading of the ashes. A member of the ship's company will escort you to a suitable private location and stay with you during this time."

 

Once onboard, I went down to the Passenger Services Desk with a copy of the above letter. Naturally, no one at Princess had notified the ship, but not to worry. I received a call from Trent, from Customer Service, the next morning and he told me he would check with the navigator to find out what days and times would be possible. He called me back the next morning to say that any time our third sea day on our way to Acapulco would be fine. After conferring with my sister, we set a time of 11am.

 

We all arrived at the Passenger Services Desk at about 10:45am and were met by Manuel, who was going to help us. He had arranged for a gorgeous flower arrangement (at no cost) for us to toss with the ashes and led us up to deck 7 aft. He had two crew members stationed on both sides of the ship who closed off the back of Promenade deck after we passed by. We went to the very back of the ship and had a few quiet moments while my nephew opened the box and then sent Jim's ashes out to sea. I followed with the wreath. We stayed there for about 10 minutes, each wrapped in our own thoughts and memories. It was very short and simple.

 

Princess couldn't have been more supportive or sympathetic. They were respectful, and it was just the way my brother-in-law would have wanted it, and my sister was comfortable with.

 

The above is not for everyone, obviously, but in case this is yours or your loved one's wishes, I wanted to share.

 

Here is a photo of the gorgeous wreath. My sister wanted to keep it and take it back to her cabin. It was too beautiful to toss.

 

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_yQpcOfNUGRo/TT...s%20Wreath.jpg

[venicecruiser]

Thank you so much for posting that information........

 

Claudia

[1 HappyCruiser]

Pam's post from 2011 is:

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showpost.php?p=27605910&postcount=1

 

[Pam in CA]

Thank you all for following up in my absence. I'd send in the request well ahead of time. As you can see, I sent it in April for a January cruise. I brought copies of my request and the response with me just in case there was a glitch in communications. There was, so it was good I had it.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss and hope this information is helpful. For my brother-in-law, who loved to cruise and wanted his ashes spread at sea, it was the right thing to do. It felt right for all of us. Now, every time I cruise off Mexico, I take some time to think of him.

[reney313]

I know this is a Princess board, but after reading the post from Pam in CA on her experience, it reminded me of a similar emotional read from Trainman-2 on the RCI board. It does look like both Princess and RCI do very well in ensuring this time is appropriate and respectful for the family.

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1268384

 

I have also provided these "directions" to my boyfriend (and my parents!) just in case, even though I am only 39....It is always best to let loved ones know your wishes (I had to bury my DH 4 years ago and wish I would have known of this option.)

[C Cruise Dude]

Thank you all for following up in my absence. I'd send in the request well ahead of time. As you can see, I sent it in April for a January cruise. I brought copies of my request and the response with me just in case there was a glitch in communications. There was, so it was good I had it.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss and hope this information is helpful. For my brother-in-law, who loved to cruise and wanted his ashes spread at sea, it was the right thing to do. It felt right for all of us. Now, every time I cruise off Mexico, I take some time to think of him.

 

Pam, thank you for sharing the information in your post. It look like it was an amazing experience and I could easily understand why the wreath was kept, it is very beautiful. Jack

[Pam in CA]

Pam, thank you for sharing the information in your post. It look like it was an amazing experience and I could easily understand why the wreath was kept, it is very beautiful. Jack

Thanks. We didn't keep the wreath as it was meant for Jim, kind of to mark the spot, so to speak.

 

One more thought. A month ago, I was back in VT visiting my Dad's grave. It saddened me to see him there alone and no one from our family closer than 3,000 miles away. My Dad passed away at 61 and my Mom re-married within a year to one of their best friends and a wonderful man. I adored him. They had 30 years together and she chose to be interred in FL with him. I don't know when I'll be able to go back to VT and it struck me that it's your memories of the person that are so important. I used to feel that I needed a place to go but I no longer feel that way. Maybe it's age, maybe it's knowing that both my Mom and Dad's resting places are so far away. Sorry to get philosophical.

[pavmar]

I recently scattered the ashes of my dear friend while on the Star Princess in April. The staff and crew could not have been more helpful. I simply emailed the rep for the ship. She sent me all of the requirements such as the need for a biodegradable urn. Unfortunately she forgot to pass my request on to the ship. It was not a problem at all. I simply contacted the Passenger Services staff on the ship once we were on board. We did not have a lot of good weather on our sea days. The Captain kindly informed the staff when we would have the best weather while still in international waters. At the designated time the crew members escorted my family to the back of the Promenade deck. Security sealed off the area so we could have privacy and spend the time we needed. The Environmental Officer did need to verify the type of container we were using. The weather was perfect, the sun shining, and the sea calm, just as the Captain promised.

I purchased the biodegradable container on Amazon.com. It cost me about $36 versus the $250 the Neptune Society wanted. While the ship does not provide a chaplain, we had some prepared poems etc. The ship also provided the exact navigational location information for us to provide to my friend's family. To top it off I won the cruise navigational chart at the auction - the Captain and crew designated the ash scattering on the map in beautiful fashion. I was so impressed with the entire process. Everyone was incredibly helpful and respectful.

[WeBeGone]

My husband and I love cruising and have lived by the ocean all our married life. We always had told our family of our desire to have ashes spread at sea. However, a couple of years ago I found Eternal Reefs, http://www.eternalreefs.com/reefs/reefs.html?gclid=CO-206HNiLECFRJl7Aoda2GqeA.

 

Ashes are mixed with a special concrete which is used to make a half ball with large openings of various sizes cut into it. There is a memorial service, a plaque placed on the structure, and then it is sunk into the ocean. Within a month plant life begins to grow and the fish discover it. After a year it is a fully functioning reef - a living reef. The sites are chosen to be close enough to shore and in shallow enough water to be accessed by divers in the future.

You can see more on their facebook page.

It's an interesting alternative to spreading ashes.

[lovevacadays]

Thank you all for following up in my absence. I'd send in the request well ahead of time. As you can see, I sent it in April for a January cruise. I brought copies of my request and the response with me just in case there was a glitch in communications. There was, so it was good I had it.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss and hope this information is helpful. For my brother-in-law, who loved to cruise and wanted his ashes spread at sea, it was the right thing to do. It felt right for all of us. Now, every time I cruise off Mexico, I take some time to think of him.

 

Lovely.

[Sailingpeace]

Thanks. We didn't keep the wreath as it was meant for Jim, kind of to mark the spot, so to speak.

 

One more thought. A month ago, I was back in VT visiting my Dad's grave. It saddened me to see him there alone and no one from our family closer than 3,000 miles away. My Dad passed away at 61 and my Mom re-married within a year to one of their best friends and a wonderful man. I adored him. They had 30 years together and she chose to be interred in FL with him. I don't know when I'll be able to go back to VT and it struck me that it's your memories of the person that are so important. I used to feel that I needed a place to go but I no longer feel that way. Maybe it's age, maybe it's knowing that both my Mom and Dad's resting places are so far away. Sorry to get philosophical.

 

Hi Pam, please don't apologize for such personal taughts. Many of us are going through similar experiences and as there is no book on the One right answer to what to do or what to feel in such circumstances, shared feeling are very precious and helpful. I wont go into details , but I want to let you know that you info and shared thaughts are very helpful and that I personnally appreciate them, sincere thanks. I am also glad to see that Princess accomodates us in such events, no wonder it does feels like sailing with family.

[venicecruiser]

Thanks so much all of you for all the information.

 

Claudia