One Person Holding Place In Line For A Group....Is It Ever Okay?

[Fizzer59]

Has our society become so lacking in manners that we need to ask what is rude and what is not? This is rather shocking that it needs discussion to know what is rude behavior. :eek: Sad for all of us.

 

 

Good Morning All,

Long time lurker but first time poster. Have never taken a cruise in our lives but my wife and I have our fist planned on the Zaandam to Alaska in May.

 

I agree with the sentiment but with one caveat. That is that what is considered to be rude is not universal and there are sometimes cultural differences. We are Ex Pat Brits, who spent time in Germany while in the Forces. In the UK queuing or lining up is the norm but in Germany when a bus or tram arrived it was a free for all. They weren't being rude, just different.

 

When I grew up, eating a meal with a fork alone was the height of bad table manners, yet in North America its the norm. I was even raised to push my peas onto the back of my fork with my knife. As my mother would say, if caught using it to scoop food "It's a fork not a shovel". After 30 years in Canada it doesn't bother me but it did for quite a while. I still eat the way I was raised but reserve my judgement of others who are different.

 

Don't even get me on to the Japanese way of sniffing because blowing one's nose is considered to be rude. :D

 

As I said before we are virgin cruisers ( unless you count time on troopships/ landing ships), so to speak, but surely cruise passengers are from multicultural backgrounds and they may not be actually being rude, or perceiving that they are rude. OK perhaps not on an Alaskan cruise, which I would expect to be more homogenous than most with regards to its self loading cargo.;)

 

I guess my point is that in many cases rudeness, just like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder and I'm not willing to stress over something to the point where it spoils our long anticipated trip.

 

 

BTW and on the main topic, I will join my wife or vice versa in a line if I really cannot be with her at the beginning but try to avoid it so as to not have to deal with upset folks. If the line is for something that has limited supply and is first come first served then absolutely not. My wife will just ask for 2, with the other for her husband :D

Edited April 14, 2015 by Fizzer59

[SydneyD'Augstralia]

i don't stand in lines, I'd rather just wait until the crowd clears or go somewhere else.

 

I don't understand the brouhaha.:confused:

 

What is the difference if the extra people in a group wait in the line or join later? There are still the same amount of people ahead of you.

 

If Passenger Bob holds space and 6 join, there are 7 people in front of you. If all 7 stand in line, there are still 7 people in front of you.

[midwest 852]

Often DW and I will join a line together, and if the line is moving very slowly she will need to go sit down for a while. Everyone nearby understands this, and it is not rude.

 

Just because you want to justify your DW needs to leave the line and rejoin you later it does not make it ok.

Belive me I understand problems that occur when traveling with a handicap or elderly person. So if it's ok for your wife to join you how can you fault me i have 2 elderly parents, a handicap DH & a young child is ok for the four of them to join me? No of course not!

Do what you need to do for your loved ones & have a great cruise.

Manners have no gray areas.

[jtl513]

duplicate

Edited April 14, 2015 by jtl513

[jtl513]

So if it's ok for your wife to join you how can you fault me i have 2 elderly parents, a handicap DH & a young child is ok for the four of them to join me? No of course not!

If your entire group is initially standing in line in front of me and two have to go sit down and one has to take a child to the bathroom, it's perfectly all right by me for the four to rejoin you, the placeholder, when you reach the head of the line. It would be bad manners on my part to object.

 

However, if the other four don't initially show up until long after you, that's a whole different story. All of you belong at the back of the line at the time the group is all together.

 

Edited April 14, 2015 by jtl513

[Lottie Linda]

Often DW and I will join a line together, and if the line is moving very slowly she will need to go sit down for a while. Everyone nearby understands this, and it is not rude.

 

Just because you want to justify your DW needs to leave the line and rejoin you later it does not make it ok.

Belive me I understand problems that occur when traveling with a handicap or elderly person. So if it's ok for your wife to join you how can you fault me i have 2 elderly parents, a handicap DH & a young child is ok for the four of them to join me? No of course not!

Do what you need to do for your loved ones & have a great cruise.

Manners have no gray areas.

 

In some places it is polite to slurp noodles and in some places it is rude. I bet there are some places that are a bit in between.

 

I used to travel with my grandmother all the time. We would find her a seat where she could entertain herself until I worked my way to the front of the line, then she would join me. Often I would remark to the people behind me, she has difficulty standing. Never once did anyone object.

 

If people can't get along, if people can't make adjustments, then it might have to go the way of many amusement parks- a special line for the handicapped and ALL their family.

[galensgrl]

i don't stand in lines' date=' I'd rather just wait until the crowd clears or go somewhere else.

 

I don't understand the brouhaha.:confused:

 

What is the difference if the extra people in a group wait in the line or join later? There are still the same amount of people ahead of you.

 

If Passenger Bob holds space and 6 join, there are 7 people in front of you. If all 7 stand in line, there are still 7 people in front of you.[/quote']

 

But if six people suddenly jump in line because 1 other person in line was designated as line holder, then there are six more people in front of you who should have gone to the back of the line like everyone else. I don't stress about it, but this is why pax who waited patiently in line get upset having a half a dozen people just jump in line in front of them.

 

Maybe everyone in line should just step around the new group of line jumpers, forcing them to the back of the line, and see what kind of reaction that garners LOL :D

 

Or if you see someone letting a half dozen people in line, calmly ask the line holder "Do you mind if I join your group? You appear to have special privileges and I want to be in your group." LOL :D

 

All kidding aside I've seen this kind of thing before. I do think it is okay to say something, but it's how it is said that matters. It's irritating but not worth causing a fight and ruining your cruise over it.

 

Lorie

Edited April 14, 2015 by galensgrl

[BeagleOne]

If you're holding a place for people who have difficulty standing or walking, that's fine. If someone in line needs to leave quickly to take a child to the bathroom and then gets back in the line with the rest of the family, that's fine too.

 

Otherwise, no line-jumping or holding places for people who just don't show up on time.

[iancal]

So who makes the call on all of these behavior issues? Is it all written down somewhere?

 

Starting to sound like the discussion on what clothing is appropriate on formal nights.

[jtl513]

So who makes the call on all of these behavior issues?

Usually no one. The rude people simply get away with it.

[Sherry H]

So.........arrived 1/2 hour early to line up for the computer class. I'm sure most of you know the number of available computers are limited. Just before class is to begin here come 6 people to join their 2 friends at the front of the line. Leaving us to not get a computer.

Now that's just not right!!

[drgrinch]

I was in line once and a person a few places ahead of me was "holding a space" for about 8 other people. When the 8 extras got in line, there was some grumbling. The space holder loudly announced that, "these people are with me."

 

More grumbling.

 

Then, out of the blue, the person in front of the space holder declared, "See all of those people behind you? They're with me. Please move your party behind them."

 

It worked.

 

Priceless - and to be remembered, for when someone behind me pulls that stunt.

[maxie99]

Good Morning All,

Long time lurker but first time poster. Have never taken a cruise in our lives but my wife and I have our fist planned on the Zaandam to Alaska in May.

 

I agree with the sentiment but with one caveat. That is that what is considered to be rude is not universal and there are sometimes cultural differences. We are Ex Pat Brits, who spent time in Germany while in the Forces. In the UK queuing or lining up is the norm but in Germany when a bus or tram arrived it was a free for all. They weren't being rude, just different.

 

When I grew up, eating a meal with a fork alone was the height of bad table manners, yet in North America its the norm. I was even raised to push my peas onto the back of my fork with my knife. As my mother would say, if caught using it to scoop food "It's a fork not a shovel". After 30 years in Canada it doesn't bother me but it did for quite a while. I still eat the way I was raised but reserve my judgement of others who are different.

 

Don't even get me on to the Japanese way of sniffing because blowing one's nose is considered to be rude. :D

 

As I said before we are virgin cruisers ( unless you count time on troopships/ landing ships), so to speak, but surely cruise passengers are from multicultural backgrounds and they may not be actually being rude, or perceiving that they are rude. OK perhaps not on an Alaskan cruise, which I would expect to be more homogenous than most with regards to its self loading cargo.;)

 

I guess my point is that in many cases rudeness, just like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder and I'm not willing to stress over something to the point where it spoils our long anticipated trip.

 

 

BTW and on the main topic, I will join my wife or vice versa in a line if I really cannot be with her at the beginning but try to avoid it so as to not have to deal with upset folks. If the line is for something that has limited supply and is first come first served then absolutely not. My wife will just ask for 2, with the other for her husband :D

 

- welcome to CC, dam style, funny about the peas, that brought out a memory about my grandmother, when I was young, she said the same thing,,:)- let us know how your first HAL cruise was, I did the Alaska trip on the zuiderdam last sept, fantastic:D

[galensgrl]

So who makes the call on all of these behavior issues? Is it all written down somewhere?

 

Starting to sound like the discussion on what clothing is appropriate on formal nights.

 

Try to remember that when people push their way to a spot in front of you after you've been waiting in line. If you're okay with that, then it's all good.

 

Lorie

[Tampa Girl]

Often DW and I will join a line together, and if the line is moving very slowly she will need to go sit down for a while. Everyone nearby understands this, and it is not rude.

No. That seat was taken, just not occupied at the moment. That is why the woman asked.

 

 

But she didn't think it was o.k. and muttered something about people "saving seats." But, thank you. I didn't think that I was being unreasonable.

[LMaxwell]

So.........arrived 1/2 hour early to line up for the computer class. I'm sure most of you know the number of available computers are limited. Just before class is to begin here come 6 people to join their 2 friends at the front of the line. Leaving us to not get a computer.

Now that's just not right!!

Don't ever allow that again. Speak up. Be nobody's doormat.

[nana51]

I haven't had this problem on the cruise ship but in Disneyland. I do say something. What about if you're in line at the buffet and just want a roll, is it permissible to go around someone who is waiting for an omelette? I'll fess up and say I've done that.

[ger_77]

You know, I'm okay with someone saving a spot for 1 other person, or making room for someone who has mobility issues, but when it is more than that, I make my opinion known to the "saver".

 

On one cruise there was a woman (I certainly won't grace her with the title of "lady") who always pushed herself and her other 3 friends into the lines, whether it was the Lido, the show lounge, or while waiting for a bus. After encountering her rudeness a few times, she elbowed me aside at the Lido and said "Let me just get this" as she reached for salad tongs which she promptly handed to her buddy who was standing beside her (making a double line). I looked at her and said very loudly "I will only allow you to get what you need for two reasons: 1 because you are incredibly rude, and 2 because you obviously have a lot less time left on this earth than I do and must eat yourself silly till the end." Her buddies scattered and she did a "Harumph" and waddled off. I didn't see her pushing herself too much after that, or maybe she just saw me in line and thought better of it.

 

Smooth Sailing ! :) :) :)

[bshow]

Line cutting is boorish behavior, but I've not seen it be a big enough issue to worry much about. I'm usually not in any hurry, and I definitely don't want to waste energy bickering with some clod.

[Flyingfish]

No - it's not acceptable. What's the saying from Animal Farm? ... "all people (animals) are created equal, some are more equal than others." And it's the "others" we all have to deal with. Nuff said!

[nana51]

No - it's not acceptable. What's the saying from Animal Farm? ... "all people (animals) are created equal, some are more equal than others." And it's the "others" we all have to deal with. Nuff said!

 

But, but, but my eggs are getting cold. This guy is taking FOREVER!:p