LoisLane0 Posted May 12, 2015 Author #26 Share Posted May 12, 2015 You do know that at the end of thecruise he will get an itemized bill showing all purchases and payments, don't you? Yes. I do. I posted about that already up thread. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo222 Posted May 12, 2015 #27 Share Posted May 12, 2015 (edited) If I was you FIL it would wound me greatly if my DIL that I love and cared greatly about would not let me take care of their trip and purchases. This way I get to enjoy spending my money on them rather than letting them spend my money when I am dead and gone.It I feel the opposite -- I would respect someone who wanted to pay for their own incidentals, drinks, etc. -- as opposed to taking as much as possible from the FIL. If the more I spend, the better the FIL feels, I might as well fill my house with art! And, it's a interesting to compare this poster with the poster from a couple weeks ago -- the one who was worried that her father was taking his girlfriend on a cruise, and the girlfriend was a complete gold-digger. Interesting contrast! Edited May 12, 2015 by pablo222 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoisLane0 Posted May 12, 2015 Author #28 Share Posted May 12, 2015 as opposed to taking as muchas possible from the FIL. This!! This is what I'm worried about. I *know* he'll see the expenses and it's not about hiding anything. It's about not taking advantage. For example, we haven't seen my brother in law and his spouse in ages. Say one afternoon we sit around with some drinks, which lead to more. I don't want anybody else to pay for that. I don't care if he sees the itemized list at the end, because for something like that the four of us will be united and say this was something we didn't want to charge to anybody but ourselves. I thought about it long and hard and realized excursions are different because it is part of the trip experience. However, frivolous things (single malt scotch, a hat from the gift shop, etc) which might not matter monetarily but do matter to the four of us in terms of not wanting to take advantage, that is something we were trying to understand how to navigate. It's not about the money as much as it is emotional and making sure we're not taking advantage of those we love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoisLane0 Posted May 12, 2015 Author #29 Share Posted May 12, 2015 That should be great -- we did that with my 3 siblings and spouses in 2012 and it really was a highlight of a wonderful trip. That is great to hear. I can't wait!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruisin' Chick Posted May 12, 2015 #30 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Maybe you should just say upfront, yes, I appreciate you taking care of our expenses but I do feel a bit strange if you're paying for the occasional logo tee shirt or drink and I hope you understand that I want to cover that and please don't feel insulted by the offer. Rather than having post-cruise regrets about what you did without. I'm guessing you're not talking about buying a $3000 watch or consuming the most expensive wine. So why do you feel guilty about a drink or a doodad, because that's how I'm reading it? Just explain to him so you don't feel bad and he doesn't feel bad. Maybe he doesn't realize how you're feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoisLane0 Posted May 12, 2015 Author #31 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Maybe you should just say upfront' date=' yes, I appreciate you taking care of our expenses but I do feel a bit strange if you're paying for the occasional logo tee shirt or drink and I hope you understand that I want to cover that and please don't feel insulted by the offer. Rather than having post-cruise regrets about what you did without. I'm guessing you're not talking about buying a $3000 watch or consuming the most expensive wine. So why do you feel guilty about a drink or a doodad, because that's how I'm reading it? Just explain to him so you don't feel bad and he doesn't feel bad. Maybe he doesn't realize how you're feeling.[/quote'] Actually with this crew, consuming the most expensive wine or single malt isn't a reach. ;) I appreciate all the information about how the fiances work! I understand how it works now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A_Sea_Bugg Posted May 12, 2015 #32 Share Posted May 12, 2015 It I feel the opposite -- I would respect someone who wanted to pay for their own incidentals, drinks, etc. -- as opposed to taking as much as possible from the FIL. If the more I spend, the better the FIL feels, I might as well fill my house with art! Well I don't get that from the OP. And I would think that the FIL respects his family and that they all are not gold diggers but if he is wanting to treat the family to a all inclusive cruise where he foots the bill. He has taken into account that they will be responsible in their charges. However maybe the DIL could tell him that he is able to put a charge limit on each cabin key card. That way it might be the best of both worlds. He gets to treat his family yet if they want to charge a lot of stuff they don't feel like they are taking advantage. I have went out in the past with family members that have picked up the tab. I did not know ahead of time they were going to do it and I ordered what I wanted. Then when I found out they were picking up the tab I wished I had ordered something less expensive and that is why they do it that way so people order what they would if they were spending their own money not someone else's. Putting a limit or just telling everyone that he will be responsible up to a set amount imho isn't a bad idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caribill Posted May 12, 2015 #33 Share Posted May 12, 2015 However maybe the DIL could tell him that he is able to put a charge limit on each cabin key card. That way it might be the best of both worlds. He gets to treat his family yet if they want to charge a lot of stuff they don't feel like they are taking advantage. Putting a limit or just telling everyone that he will be responsible up to a set amount imho isn't a bad idea. That's not the way it works. If putting a spending limit was possible (I know it is for kids, not sure about adults), once the limit is reached, nothing can be charged to the account, no matter who is paying for it. If the limit is reached on day 3, forget about buying even a bottle of water for the rest of the cruise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoisLane0 Posted May 12, 2015 Author #34 Share Posted May 12, 2015 (edited) That's not the way it works. If putting a spending limit was possible (I know it is for kids, not sure about adults), once the limit is reached, nothing can be charged to the account, no matter who is paying for it. If the limit is reached on day 3, forget about buying even a bottle of water for the rest of the cruise. Not only that, this isn't something that fits our family dynamic. We wouldn't put limits on the kids' even because they don't over charge. I gave my son my paypal account info and he's super responsible. He asks before he puts in $5 on a gaming account, same with my daughter. They are super conscious and responsible people. I was bracing for teenage insanity but it hasn't been the case in my house. These two are the best teenagers. Sure, they talk back and the like but that is normal. They are good people. It's not about the money. My in-laws know we won't go crazy on their account. The reason I was asking is what IF we *wanted* to go crazy one night, but didn't want to do it on his dime. There are a lot of people going on this. It's not just a couple of us. The person who went on the Ruby up thread and said he paid cash nightly offered us a window in to a compromise which won't hurt him yet it allows for the contingency that if we're sitting around the bar one night and somebody buys a bottle of Cristal champagne or Dom for a few hundred? We can go to guest services and pay for it, then explain that we all went a little nuts that night and this is why we plunked down some cash. He'd be fine with that especially after the fact. I don't think he'd take cash directly from us because I know I wouldn't if it were my kids. However, if they drank a bottle of Cristal without me and then paid for it, I'd be more upset I wasn't there to partake, and while I'd tell them it was unnecessary to pay it, I'd appreciate the sentiment. Almost 30 years ago when I graduated college my late dad gave me some money to help me when I relocated before I started my job. After I started it, I sent the check to him for the money. He refused to cash it but he told me he was touched I tried. I digress, as this thread has!! ;) The purpose of my question was that I wanted to find out what our options were if we were to splurge on something that we didn't want to put on anybody else's account. Edited May 12, 2015 by LoisLane0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiefBoats Posted May 13, 2015 #35 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Cash is not an option on board except in the laundry (not Royal/Regal) or for tipping the staff beyond the automatic gratuity charged daily to your account. All charges are paid with your cruise card. Sent from my KFTHWI using Xparent Green Tapatalk 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrobinso Posted May 13, 2015 #36 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Princess has a number of gifts that you can prepurchased. Go to the Princess website and you will find the gift brochure as well as the form you fax to purchase the gift. One of the gifts you can prepurchase is OBC. You may be able to do this over the phone. I'm not sure how far in advance you must do this, so the sooner the better. Try and estimate how much you will be spending on extras then send yourself a gift of OBC for that amount. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colo Cruiser Posted May 13, 2015 #37 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I agree, there are many options. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo222 Posted May 13, 2015 #38 Share Posted May 13, 2015 (edited) For example, no, you don't really need that frivolous doodad from the gift shop that is going to get lost the minute you get home. And wait, how many drinks did we all sit around drinking that one night after the grandparents and grandkids went to sleep? Those kinds of things are what I'm concerned about. I think your respect is very good. If a family member wants to bring the family on vacation, that is a nice thing for everyone. But, then what happens if you see a piece of jewelery, or a watch you wish to buy on board? I completely understand your position. If it were me, I would simply forego the purchase, because it wouldn't feel right to take an extra $500 gift from the FIL. In my opinion, gifts should be offered, not simply taken because you can. Any way to discuss this with the FIL? That you want to buy some gifts on board for friends at home, or something, and you would expect to pay for them yourself? Also, at anytime during the cruise, you can go to the purser's desk and pay down your account balance with cash. Then, you FIL is only responsible for the final (smaller) amount. You can also send yourself casino credit in advance, which will give you easy access to cash on board. Edited May 13, 2015 by pablo222 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUT2407 Posted May 13, 2015 #39 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Is there any way to get a separate account. IE I want to buy a present for HER, how can I do so without her knowing what I spent? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo222 Posted May 13, 2015 #40 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Is there any way to get a separate account. IE I want to buy a present for HER, how can I do so without her knowing what I spent? Register separate credit cards for each account. You can only see folios which are being settled to your own card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caribill Posted May 13, 2015 #41 Share Posted May 13, 2015 But, then what happens if you see a piece of jewelery, or a watch you wish to buy on board? Is there any way to get a separate account. IE I want to buy a present for HER, how can I do so without her knowing what I spent? The shops that sell jewelry on board will also accept credit cards in addition to the cruise card. So if you want to make a purchase there and pay for it other than with the cruise card, you can use a regular credit card. Now, GUT2407, if she sees your credit card statements when they come to the house, she will still she how much you spent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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