Dinner Question - Is this rude?

[maryjaden]

I read this thread with interest. I have not cruised solo, but am considering it. I really never gave this much thought, but I certainly would not expect or think it was rude if table mates did not ask or include me in their evening plans.

 

If they had asked and it sounded like fun, though, I would probably join them!

[OCruisers]

I would find it rude not to make sure the "solo" was included in conversations at the table BUT certainly not rude to do our own thing after dinner. :)

Edited November 15, 2015 by OCruisers

[spookwife]

So, I was reading a cruise review on the Royal Caribbean boards written by a solo traveler. She was at a table for dinner with other travelers (apparently not solo travelers though), and after dinner, once everyone had finished eating, the others just got up and left and didn't invite her to do anything, like have a drink or see the show. It was just an observation, but the OP sounded disappointed because on previous cruises, she had made friends at dinner and was able to hang out with them afterwards.

 

Two other posters on the thread chimed in to say it was rude of the other passengers to just leave the OP alone after dinner. The OP never said it was rude, just expressed disappointment.

 

What do the wise people of Cruise Critic think? :confused:

 

I don't think it's rude at all. There is nothing that says you must adopt a solo traveler to hang out with you after a meal. I travel solo quite a bit, and have never expected to hang out with my random table mates - in fact if they had invited me to, I probably would have declined because I tend to like doing my own thing in the evenings. Of course, then one of them might have come over to Cruise Critic to complain about the rude solo traveler who kept refusing their invites. lol.

 

Nope. not in the least bit rude. nowhere is it written that table mates must be joined at the ship at any other venue. and while we have kept running into the same solo person on board and in port, I never would have felt the least bit inclined to invite them on my travels since we are there to enjoy each other without having to cater to anyone else.

[sail7seas]

This may be the first time in all my years on CC, there were 28 posts in a thread an everyone was in full agreement. Hip Hip Hoorah..... I'm so happy to have this 'agreeable' experience. :)

 

[Cruzin-K]

This may be the first time in all my years on CC, there were 28 posts in a thread an everyone was in full agreement. Hip Hip Hoorah..... I'm so happy to have this 'agreeable' experience. :)

 

Well, I'd immediately deleted my post about this topic in the review thread I referred to, so the two posters over there who thought it was rude probably haven't see this one. Yet. :eek:

 

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[sail7seas]

You made me chuckle. :)

[KARTI1955]

This may be the first time in all my years on CC, there were 28 posts in a thread an everyone was in full agreement. Hip Hip Hoorah..... I'm so happy to have this 'agreeable' experience. :)

 

 

Don't jinx it :D I see nothing rude at all. I cruise solo quite a bit and I would not expect to be asked to join my tablemates after dinner.

[maywell]

This may be the first time in all my years on CC, there were 28 posts in a thread an everyone was in full agreement. Hip Hip Hoorah..... I'm so happy to have this 'agreeable' experience. :)

 

There's a 1st for everything.[emoji4]

 

I think everyone who posted agrees that it's one of those expectations things you don't or shouldn't expect because all the passengers are on vacation - they don't have to invite others into their plan(s) especially before or after assigned /set dinner. Just because people are dining mates doesn't mean they're going to the show/bar with you.

 

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[Lerin]

Single or not, do people usually invite their table mates to hang out after dinner? :confused: We've never done this and have not been asked to partake in other's activities either.

 

Believe it or not, some people don't go on cruises to meet other people. This is why freestyle and anytime dining has been gaining popularity.

Edited November 16, 2015 by Lerin

[legaljen1969]

It's not rude...just like not offering to share your bottle of wine is not rude! While you may be seated with others, you are NOT part of their "party"...and I believe everyone knows that...

 

Interesting perspective. If I were planning to order a bottle of wine, I would expect to share it with anyone at the table. I would offer to share with anyone and everyone at my table. They are certainly at liberty to decline the offer. Others are certainly at liberty not to share with me, but I would never order a bottle of wine without considering that others at the table might want to share. I would not be offended if you did not offer to share with me, but I would NOT order a bottle of wine and not offer to share with all at my table.

 

We had tablemates on our last cruise that bought a bottle of wine and wanted to share with us. It was the lady's birthday and she was so excited about sharing with us. It wasn't something we would ordinarily drink, but they seemed like they were going to be very disappointed if we didn't have a sip. They bought the bottle intending to share it. The next evening, we ended up buying a bottle of something we liked to share with them. Sometimes you learn something new by sharing with others.

 

I understand some people are really wine lovers and bring really expensive bottles aboard, or purchase really expensive bottles. I can somewhat understand not sharing if it's something you really treasure. I am not that kind of wine drinker though. Anything I would drink I can afford to share.

[legaljen1969]

I don't know how I feel about this. I have never had a single at my table so I have never run into this issue. I can see both sides of it. Maybe she thought things were going along well. Maybe there was some talk of getting together at another time or having the same plans after dinner.

 

I wouldn't expect anyone to ask me to do something. I am not one to self invite either. It might be awkward if a single invited themselves along to join my evening and I didn't know what to do to decline.

Edited November 16, 2015 by legaljen1969
Trying to be agreeable.

[K&RCurt]

Single or not, do people usually invite their table mates to hang out after dinner? :confused: We've never done this and have not been asked to partake in other's activities either.

 

Believe it or not, some people don't go on cruises to meet other people. This is why freestyle and anytime dining has been gaining popularity.

 

I doubt it is typical, but it has happened with us.

 

We had a table on one cruise where we all just "clicked." While we didn't ALL do everything together by any means, we did end up with the majority going to a show together, meeting up for drinks, getting together for a few shore excursions and we hosted a pre-dinner get together in our suite. It was just "one of those things" where everyone got together amazingly well. Far from the norm from our experience.

 

In any case, I agree that there is nothing rude about not including others at your table, single or otherwise, in your plans. As long as the conversation and behavior during the meal are inclusive, that should suffice.

[Tura Lura]

I would never want to be on a cruise where I'm sitting with the same people each nite. That's awkward and uncomfortable, being a solo, unless they are all solo too. I don't want to intrude and I don't want to be intruded on!

[DRS/NC]

I'm wondering what cruise lines put singles together at dinner?

 

I've now done two 14 day cruises as a solo senior female, both times with Anytime Dining. I've never been seated (or asked if I wanted seating) with other singles. There were other singles mixed with couples at the table, but never a 'singles table'.

 

It would have been very nice if others had asked me to join them after dinner, but it's never happened -- evenings are the only part of solo cruising that I find disappointing. And it's very uncomfortable or awkward to ask. After the show, it's me & my kindle.

[Haoie]

I figure the onus would be on the single to ask if she could be included in the other's activities. Not the other way!

[Tura Lura]

On NCL I was in a studio and we had a studio lounge to hang out and our own solo host. The host organized dinners, made show reservations etc. So if you choose to, you could always eat with other solos, as well as go to shows or parties together.

 

I'll be going in a studio on Royal Caribbean next year, I know there are non hosted solo meet ups on the schedule but we'll see how that goes. I'm fine going out by myself though, i like it actually.

[SuiteTraveler]

It also depends on the cruise line. Both RCCL and NCL take reservations for shows on their larger ships, so if the other diners had show reservations after dinner, unless the solo cruiser happened to also have a reservation for the same show, they really couldn't invite her along. Also, if the other diners were in suites and the solo was not, then there is the issue of many cruise lines having a specific place in the theaters for seating suite guests and you can't bring a non-suite passenger along to that area without the concierge likely questioning it or on RCCL you have to show your cruise card - which is a special color indicating you are a suite guest to be admitted to that part of the seating. They actually put someone at each end of the row meant for suite guests to block other cruisers from that row and scan your cruise card to insure you had a reservation as you enter the theater venue.

[sail7seas]

I'm wondering what cruise lines put singles together at dinner?

 

I've now done two 14 day cruises as a solo senior female, both times with Anytime Dining. I've never been seated (or asked if I wanted seating) with other singles. There were other singles mixed with couples at the table, but never a 'singles table'.

 

It would have been very nice if others had asked me to join them after dinner, but it's never happened -- evenings are the only part of solo cruising that I find disappointing. And it's very uncomfortable or awkward to ask. After the show, it's me & my kindle.

 

As a solo traveler, I would be most upset to be 'put' at a table devoted only to singles. Because I am now widowed, I must dine

only with single people? No way.

 

Edited November 18, 2015 by sail7seas

[Tura Lura]

Most solos prefer to be put with other solos. Why would you want to be a third wheel to a couple or a group? I would feel weird sitting with two couples and me. And I don't want the awkward questions about why I'm on my own. I'd rather eat on my own, but if I'm going to be put with others, then yes please to a table of other solo travelers.

[sail7seas]

Good thing we are not all the same.

I would not wish to be 'put' at a 'singles' table.

I absolutely would speak up and request different seating.

 

If anyone wished to ask me why I was traveling solo, what is awkward about responding I was a couple for 47 years until my very DH passed away? It may make me sad but it is nothing to feel awkward about to ME. I realize some may feel differently.

Edited November 18, 2015 by sail7seas

[Tura Lura]

Good thing we are not all the same.

I would not wish to be 'put' at a 'singles' table.

I absolutely would speak up and request different seating.

 

If anyone wished to ask me why I was traveling solo, what is awkward about responding I was a couple for 47 years until my very DH passed away? It may make me sad but it is nothing to feel awkward about to ME. I realize some may feel differently.

 

Do what makes you happy. Me, it would feel awkward and intrusive.

[Tura Lura]

And do note it's not really "singles" but solo. I travel solo but I am far from single. My partner will be home watching the kitties. :)

[Redee2cruz]

Not rude at all. There could be many reasons why the invitation was not extended. When you decide to travel solo you have to be prepared for this to occur with some groups, particularly other couples....

[notentirelynormal]

As a solo traveler, I would be most upset to be 'put' at a table devoted only to singles. Because I am now widowed, I must dine

only with single people? No way.

 

 

Personally I don't think a single or solo or whatever you want to call it is any different then a stranger couple. I wouldn't care in the least. I get the bigger tables to get the different personalities. As long as you contribute to the conversation I would welcome your presence.

[Tura Lura]

Personally I don't think a single or solo or whatever you want to call it is any different then a stranger couple. I wouldn't care in the least. I get the bigger tables to get the different personalities. As long as you contribute to the conversation I would welcome your presence.

 

Yeah I go for table for 1 unless it's other folks I've already met somewhere else. I don't do set dining times, tables or table mates. But I don't go hoping to meet other people. I go to get some me time and chill.