PHOTO REVIEW: H turns GOLD on the Carnival Conquest (Fun Times, New Menus)

[ProfCruise]

Still reading? Have some FISH AND CHIPS

Since grandma eats almost nothing but fish, it’s a wonder she hasn’t tried the fish and chips joint before. Maybe she couldn’t find it – it’s a bit hidden directly above the Lido buffet (There’s also a bunch of extra seating up there and it’s never crowded. Plus if you climb the stairs you can skip the miserable gym.). Here’s the menu:

Grandma tried the Cider Battered Fried Fish. She said the batter was nice and light and the fish was “standard fish and chips fish.” Since I've never tried standard fish and chips fish, I asked for further clarification. She said it was what about what she expected. Well I expected to eat sherbet and cheese for 3 meals a day and I pretty much did -- so I guess that's positive.

 

[BethersD]

You're awesome H!!!! Thank you for your very detailed review!!!

 

My boys, their Dad and I will be on the Conquest in a few weeks and I really appreciate a three-nager's point of view, especially since it will by my three-nager's (and his 7 year old brother's) first cruise. I can't wait to read more!

[ProfCruise]

I'm loving your review!!! Thanks for helping me pass the time until my cruise! H you are just so adorable! I hope mom let you have all the cheese and orange sherbet you wanted on this cruise, after all, isn't that what cruises are for?

 

I like you. A lot! :D

[ProfCruise]

You're awesome H!!!! Thank you for your very detailed review!!!

 

My boys, their Dad and I will be on the Conquest in a few weeks and I really appreciate a three-nager's point of view, especially since it will by my three-nager's (and his 7 year old brother's) first cruise. I can't wait to read more!

 

Oh, how exciting for them! How about taking a friend along? I happen to be available. If not, be sure to report back with how they liked it!

[Peemagg]

I am enjoying the review greatly! Please keep writing! We will be on the same cruise in January and looking for everything and any advice you can give us!

[wantocruisemore]

Loving this review! Can't wait for more!!!

[KPfromCT]

Welcome back H! Love your reviews, and this one is starting out, as to be expected, PHENOMENAL!:D:D

 

What happened to Dad on this trip? Did Mom make him stay home and WORK?:eek::eek::D:D

 

Hope you had tons of cheese and orange sherbet.

 

Cannot wait to ready more?

[janpa70]

Love your review. We were on this cruise and had the best time. This was are first time on Carnival in almost 25years and we had a wonderful time.

[cruiseonthebrain]

H- you rock and your reviews are epic! Keep em coming!

[ProfCruise]

H IS ON THE LOOSE: DR. SEUSS PARADE AND STORY TIME

The Cat in the Hat parade started in the Degas Lounge and got off to a bit of a slow start as one of the entertainment hosts stalled for 20 minutes (mom knows just how hard that is – a few weeks ago her baby animal youtube video froze and she had to resort to actual course content while she re-booted) waiting for Eric to arrive to kick things off (“Is everyone excited to see the Cat?!?!” became a little less exciting after the 6th ask).

Here I am waiting for this thing to get started already.

 

 

Once he arrived (Eric, not the Cat…he wouldn’t appear ‘till later), we said hello (far less enthusiastically than we would have 20 minutes sooner) to Sam I Am and Thing 1/Thing 2 (I think it’s kind of sad that their mom dresses them exactly alike and that I used a “/” instead of an “and” to refer to them. They should be treated as distinct individuals. Except that, much like me, all they do is run around destroying things. It’s not like one of them is mature enough to wear something other than a onesie.).

 

 

Anyway, we made our way to the Toulouse-Lautrec main show lounge shouting “Dr. Seuss is On Loose” while ringing cow bells in close vicinity of those trying to finish their book (the one they started on that glorious day they had off between finishing school and starting full-time employment/having kids) and knocking down passersby with our giant character signs and pom poms.

When we arrived at lounge, we gathered up on the stage and Sam I Am and Thing 1/Thing 2 (sorry guys) disappeared backstage to make room for a brief appearance by the real “Cat in the Hat.” They must pay those characters by the hour because we never see them for more than 10 minutes at a time except for photo night when they can charge $11 for a print of a terrified H.

 

 

After the real Cat in the Hat left to go change into a Santa (whom I also fear up close – more on that later) costume for his night job, Eric read a giant version (in both size and enthusiasm) of “The Cat in the Hat,” with members of the audience acting (that’s being generous – the two little kids were pretty good, but the dad…never mind, he might be reading this. Then again, it was more about his wife humiliating him -- which seemed to be a regular theme around the big boat -- than talent) out the parts.

I must have heard the story a billion times before (it’s one of mom’s favorites), but this is the first time the cat spoke with a southern accent. He was Scottish once (as read by Wee Jimmy), which sort of made sense. But southern? The friendly part works, but to just bust into a total strangers house and create chaos? Doesn’t seem very gentlemanly. In any case, even though it left me with some questions, I enjoyed the story very much.

In closing, what would I do if my mother asked me (for those of you familiar with the book)? I’d tell her “nothin.” I’m a three-nager, after all. :cool:

[workinggal]

A great review. We will be on the Conquest in Feb. Is there a fee for the fish and chips food? Sure looks good.

[WPTNGirl]

No charge for Fish n Chips and only open at lunch.

[workinggal]

Thanks, this is our 2nd Carnival cruise. Last was 5 yrs ago on Ecstasy. All other cruises on Princess. Really like the ports and price for this one.

[JohnSpo]

I am enjoying your review. I was on Conquest on the same itinerary a month ago. I look forward to seeing some familiar faces and places. Thank you for taking the time to post.:cool:

[CruiseBride926]

Great review so far

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ProfCruise]

A great review. We will be on the Conquest in Feb. Is there a fee for the fish and chips food? Sure looks good.

 

You'll love it! No fee for fish and chips. And never a line!

[ProfCruise]

I am enjoying your review. I was on Conquest on the same itinerary a month ago. I look forward to seeing some familiar faces and places. Thank you for taking the time to post.:cool:

 

Such a fun itinerary and ship. Be sure to chime in!

[ProfCruise]

DO YOU LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM?

Well since your eyes are already adjusted to all the bright colors, I may as well cover the other Dr. Seuss themed event, the Green Eggs and Ham Breakfast (plus it involves FOOD, so that should make you happy). The breakfast takes place on the final sea day at either 8 something (I think 15) or 9:45am. Make a reservation early (at the table set up on embarkation day or by calling guest services) to get your preferred time (the 8 something filled up fast, so we had to do the 9:45). There’s a fee of $5 per person, but it’s worth it to see mom’s expression when she sees green eggs. Or it may have been the ham. Both this time and on the Pride, when mom ordered a side of green eggs, she got the green eggs and ham instead, which sort of ruins the experience of green eggs for a vegetarian. But since grandma and daddy weren’t with us this time to get some meat based food porn for you (daddy was in Vegas losing all our cruising money – so you may not hear from me again for a while – and grandma was in a private meeting with the Captain…more on that later), at least we got a photo of the green eggs and ham.

Here’s the menu.

 

 

I ordered the Truffula Tree Pancakes.

 

 

Mom ordered the From There to Here, From Here to There, Funny Belgian Waffles are Everywhere.

 

Do we like Green Eggs and Ham? No, but here they are anyway.

 

 

Breakfast also includes a delicious basket of breads, muffins, and other things to raise your blood sugar and the (super nice) wait staff will bring around yogurt or Jello parfaits to keep it steady. We prefer the J-e-l-l-o.

 

 

To be continued…

[jzad]

Well Merry Christmas! Another 'H' review! Welcome back, I will be reading along

[ProfCruise]

ANOTHER SERVING OF GREEN EGGS AND HAM

 

 

During breakfast, the characters come out one at a time for a photo op (professional photos will be taken, but you can also take photos with your own camera). When Thing 1/Thing 2 arrived, our waiter asked me if I wanted to get in line for a photo. I was like, “Nah, it’s bad enough that I have to share a stateroom with them.” In fact, I wasn’t interested in meeting or getting in a photo with any of the characters this time. Three-nagers…totally unpredictable. I was perfectly content finger painting with butter and syrup and watching the parents’ crazy antics, trying to get their stubborn/terrified kid to smile for this year’s Christmas card photo. It’s sweet that they haven’t given up their will to try, like my mom (more on that later). Be careful though, on grandma’s Behind the Fun tour (stay tuned), she saw several parents in the medical unit stuck in a permanent pretzel position. There’s also a holding cell for any who completely lose it (it rarely comes to that though – there is plenty of alcohol on board).

 

After the characters made their brief appearances, the wait staff donned blue wigs and did a short performance. I wonder if public humiliation is written into their contracts?

 

 

Then they gave us a Grinch cookie and sent us on our way (No more money to be spent in here! The Casino is open. GO!).

 

 

This is the 3rd time we’ve done the Green Eggs and Ham Breakfast. There’s a reason we keep coming back – our sugar addiction.

 

 

And it’s lots of fun too!

 

 

 

[sunset785]

Great review! Love the Dr Suess pics and can't wait to take my kids in July!

[ProfCruise]

PLAYLIST PRODUCTIONS

 

 

There are some complaints floating around these boards about, well, everything -- but for now I want to focus on those related to Playlist Productions. The smaller cast and lack of live music seem to top the list. Knowing some people hate change, even when it’s positive (I guess that’s why mom refuses to cut my hair and never tires of correcting people by saying, “he’s a boy.”), I was determined to keep an open mind.

Well I owe all you curmudgeons an apology. Costs have clearly been cut and it seems that the room stewards are not only responsible for moving furniture and vacuuming up 35,000 tons of sand on port days (that was one of the fun facts on grandma’s Behind the Fun tour…more on that later), they are now charged with creating the cast for the production shows. See, look:

 

 

Still though, Towel Animal Theater had amazing special effects including bubbles and streamers, and gets a thumbs up from H. Also, instead of sleeping, I spent the last night of our cruise trying to catch my towel animals coming to life. I blame the towel animals for my behavior on the flight home.

 

 

[ProfCruise]

PIZZA PIRATE

I’ll get to the other Playlist Production shows later, but if you’re wondering what you can eat at 3pm (or 3am) on the Conquest – pizza. Pizza Pirate is located all the way aft on the Lido deck (out by the adults only pool). It’s open 24/7, goes great with soft serve (also available 24/7) and tums, and is free of charge. Here’s the menu:

 

 

And here’s a photo of the chef preparing them (they are always made fresh to order).

 

 

I ordered the Margherita (excellent).

 

 

And Mom ordered the Mushroom (too mushroomy). Sometimes mom laments on how fast I’m growing up (doesn’t feel that way to me -- I’ve been asking if I’m old enough to drive every day for, like, 1090 days and it’s always: “No, not for a few more years”). Well it’s comforting to know that no matter how old you are (and trust me, mom is oooooooold), your mom will always eat the mushrooms you pick off your pizza. Mom used her fingers to pile them up on grandma’s plate (so they wouldn’t contaminate anything else on her plate with their fungusyness) and grandma gobbled them up unfazed, even though they were covered in the germs of 2000+ people, hoping to prevent a tantrum.

 

 

Mom here. In my defense, I just wanted a hint of mushroom. Of course this would be one area where Carnival would NOT skimp.

[BettyPC]

Where have I been? Never read an "H" review. I guess I will be busy tonight! Great fun:D

[ProfCruise]

Where have I been? Never read an "H" review. I guess I will be busy tonight! Great fun:D

 

Hi Betty! Based on your profile photo, you've been somewhere fun! Next time, take me along. ;)