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December 3-10, Epic (in length) Review

Swells1

By Swells1,
in Norwegian Cruise Line

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rayness

rayness

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Posted

Oh my goodness now I'm scared! I'm taking my mom on a RCL and Princess cruise and invited her sisters and my cousins to come on the RCL one. I think I made a mistake. I'm the only one who cruised before and I now they'll drive me crazy! Didn't think about that. I thought s cruise would be a good family trip. Swells you're so patient with everyone.

 

I think I'll plan on some activities that I'll do alone. I know I'll be the go to person and all of that time with them and the chaos and disorder will suck my energy dry.

 

I'm a planner and organizer too and hate being late. My aunt and my mom take FOREVER to get ready and do things at their leisure. I hope I survive because I usually travel solo.

 

 

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Swells1

Swells1

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We were in Georgetown, Grand Cayman on Wednesday. I had never been here. I told Collin we should take $10 and try to open a bank account. He asked me why.

"When someone gives me money, I can do my best Thurston Howell and say, 'I'll just put this in my Cayman account' "

How pretentious is that? Too pretentious for a certain fuddy-duddy. Roll your eyes with me, guys.

 

This morning was not going to be a repeat of yesterday. I made sure everyone was ready and I dragged them all down to the buffet. We had another early excursion this morning and I was sure we wouldn't find that "Jamaica laid-back attitude" here. We were going to be on time.

 

The queue for the tender was crazy long, but quick. And the tender itself was painless. The port area was not quite as organized as Ocho Rios, but better than some others I've visited. I had booked the West End Tour with Viator again. The local company we were looking for was Tourwise Limited. We all scoured the area for a good 15 minutes. I was sure they had left without us. Collin found someone who looked official who told us to go to the visitor's information trailer. Collin made a crack about the company going out of business this morning.

No one thought it was funny. We went into the information office.

"Let me guess, you booked with Viator?"

(Wait. What?)

"This is happening every day. They've known for 6 months that Tourwise Limited has temporarily closed because they are having problems with their vehicles."

(I booked less than 6 months ago)

She gave me her email address and told me to expect a full refund from Viator. If I didn't see it within the next 30 days, to contact her.

She arranged a private cab to give us the same tour. We would have to pay twice and wait for the refund, but it would be a few dollars less than the original tour.

 

She walked us out into the taxi waiting area. While we were walking, Linda handed me money to cover her fare. We were led to a van with two people inside. Collin, mom and Linda piled in the far back seat. I was stuck with a strange woman in the middle. And her husband with a lot of back hair and a tank top with something obnoxious written on it had the front passenger seat. I wasn't happy with this arrangement.

 

The driver, Lewis, was very friendly and knew a lot about the area. But it was obvious he wasn't a professional tour guide and this wasn't an organized tour. For example, he took us to a new hotel and showed us the entrance.

 

 

The first stop was Hell.

When you read reviews about this place, believe them. I wouldn't call this a destination. It's more like two buildings and a pit. I did get some great pictures, though. I bought a few postcards in the gift shop. The sales clerk asked me if I wanted them to be mailed. I told her no, that I'd read on Cruise Critic there was a huge delay in delivery time. She told me to not believe everything I read on the Internet. Postcards take two days to reach the States.

 

We met Satan. I guess he owns the joint. My mom was the only one who gave him more than a polite nod. No good deed, right? He asked her where she was from and she told him Tennessee. His eyes lit up and he dragged her over to a photo collage on the wall entitled " Satan goes to Tennessee". The three of us went outside to wait.

(Sorry, Mom. You know better than to engage with the locals.)

 

When we got back into the car, I made sure I was in the back with Collin and my mom. Linda got stuck with the strange woman. They were an odd couple. The man asked the most bizarre questions. At one point, we passed a large number of cars. The man asked, "What is the significance of all those cars?"

The driver replied, "That's a parking lot, sir"

 

The description of the original tour promised a visit to the Tortuga Rum Cake factory. Well, we went somewhere, but I certainly wouldn't call this place a factory. When I was about 7 years-old, there was a store near us called a "Package Store". They sold sandwiches and booze (I should say beer- this was still a dry county at the time). There were a few shelves of groceries that had inches of dust because no one would think to buy groceries there. Think convenience store that doesn't sell gas. That's exactly what this place reminded me of. They sold Rum and Rum Cakes, and candy and snacks. Definitely NOT a factory. There was an area outside, though, with a nice ocean view. It started to rain while we were there. Nothing severe, just a drizzle.

 

The next stop was the Turtle Farm. I was really looking forward to it. The driver got into the van and said, "Okay, we can go to the Turtle Farm in the rain or we can go somewhere else."

I was outvoted. We drove by some nice houses. I didn't get to tickle a turtle's tummy and make him laugh.

(At this point, be sad for me.)

 

The driver took us back to the taxi area. I paid him for the three of us and Collin gave him a tip. We picked up a few souvenirs, and Collin was hungry. Instead of eating locally, we wanted to go back to the ship and come back. I tried explaining to him that a tender port isn't really the place to come and go, but he was determined. I knew we weren't coming back, so I made sure to get what I wanted before we left.

 

We got back to the ship and headed for the MDR, but it was closed, so we went to O'Sheehan's again. Once again, the service was slow. Mom ordered dessert with her meal, but the rest of waited. We should have followed her lead. This time, we actually ordered dessert- not just menus- but never received them.

 

After lunch, Collin asked if we ready to go back off the ship. I thought it was silly, but we did. Even the security officer seemed confused. He reminded us twice that the last tender was at 3pm. We were the only ones on the tender. When we arrived, there was a line stretching all the way into the shopping area of people waiting to tender back. We went into one shop. No one bought anything. Collin bought a coconut from a vendor and Linda and I bought a snow cone. Then we found the back of the line and waited to go back to the ship. The snow cone was a waste. There wasn't enough syrup and the ice kept spilling into my bra. Collin defended his choice to return as though we were complaining. I told him to relax. No one could be upset with someone with such pretty hair.

 

We arrived back to the ship (again), and Collin and I took the best nap. EVER.

 

When I woke up, I met my mom at 5, and we went to the Cirque Dreams show. (I had invited the others, but they weren't interested. They decided to watch "Top Gun" at Spice H2O instead.) Because I still had the old, original UDP, I was able to score premium seats for about $17. We chose to sit in the upper level. Looking down on the other seats, I couldn't tell which were premium and which were standard. It look as though some seats had pretty bad views of the action. We were fist in line, and my mom immediately wanted to know why I had paid for Linda's part of the taxi this morning and I had to explain it to her twice before she understood. We really enjoyed the show, but I can see why it wouldn't be for everyone. I also thought the food wasn't bad.

 

After the show, we went up to Spice to meet up with Collin and Linda, but there was no one there. We checked the usual smoking areas, but didn't find them. We gave up and went back to our cabins. Collin had left me a Post-It note saying they were having dinner at Taste, so we joined them for dessert.

 

We played in the casino for a little while and turned in. We were all looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.

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Swells1

Swells1

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We slept in Thursday morning. Too late to go to the MDR, so we were off to the buffet again. This morning, I found the omelet station and ate far too much. I really wanted to take a post- breakfast nap, but I powered through.

 

I didn't have anything planned for today. Cozumel was our last port, and I just wanted to chill out, pick up a few souvenirs and take some pictures. We walked around the mall area at Punta Langosta (sp?) and then took a cab to Puerta Maya. At one point we saw the big Christmas tree in the center of the area and the three girls started taking photos. Mom was ahead of me, then Collin and Linda was behind me. I didn't want to be in their pictures, so I kind of ducked back a little and sat down on a bench. Linda asked me if everything was okay. I told her I just wanted to get out of their way. She nodded and wondered away.

 

Mom and Collin sat down beside me.

 

This was the conversation that transpired between my mother and myself.

Mom: I didn't take your picture.

Swells: I know, I was trying to get out of the way so you could take your picture

M: I know you don't like having your picture taken.

S: I know, I was trying to get out of the way so you could take your picture

M: I know better than to take your picture.

S: I know, I was trying to get out of the way so you could take your picture

M: Why do you think I was trying to take your picture.

S: Dear God. I know, I was trying to get out of the way so you could take your picture

She didn't say anything else for a while. We stood up after a minute and started walking around again. Mom came up to me with her eyes all watery and announced she was going back to the ship.

(***?!? Even if you were serious and not just throwing a tantrum, you don't have a clue where you are or where you need to go!)

"Why are you going back to the ship?" I asked

"Because I think I'm annoying you."

I held back a lot, guys. A LOT.

"Yes, you did annoy me back there, and you would have been annoyed, too. I hate answering the same question over and over. If you want to go back to the ship, go ahead, but I would like for you to stay.''

That 's all she needed to hear, and she was fine.

 

Collin decided it was time for lunch.

(Ugh! Did you not see the metric ton of food I just ate?)

We headed to Pancho's Backyard. I really wasn't hungry, but I went along with Collin when he wanted to share two appetizers as well as an entree. I ate too many nachos and only took a bite out of my burrito. The food was good, but it was way too early in the day.

 

After we ate, we headed back to Punta Langosta. Riding in the cab was the first time I really missed having cell service. A song came on the radio that we all knew. But none of us could place the singer. It drove me batty. That song was stuck in my head for the next three days. (It was "What You Won't Do For Love" by Bobby Caldwell.) And now it's back in my head. Thanks.

 

Walking down the street, we encountered a lady braiding hair. Linda had mentioned months ago getting her hair braided in Jamaica, but didn't seem serious about it. Well, My mom decided Linda needed braids. She tried to get me to pay for half, but I said Linda's hair was none of my business and walked away. They negotiated from $45 to $20, and Linda was stuck. The woman said it would be 20 minutes and Collin and I left. I think it ended up taking about 30 minutes but felt like an hour. We went into some shops and Linda found a Michael Kors bag for $20. She was so excited.

"It's a real one. The women showed me how to tell."

I didn't have the heart to tell her.

 

It was getting late when we arrived back at the ship, and I really wanted to get some pictures of Cozumel. Linda needed a cigarette and Collin wanted to take a nap. Mom and I went to deck 18 for a while. When the sun started to set, I wanted to go back to the cabin to get some sunset pictures from my aft balcony.

 

I got back to the cabin and Collin was getting ready to go to the movie upstairs. He wanted me to go with him. As we were leaving, mom and Linda were coming back from somewhere. Mom had a huge piece of cake in her hand. Like, really big. Like half of a cake. She wanted me to come into their cabin and Collin was in a hurry to get to the movie. I peeked in the door and asked what she needed. She just wanted to give me some cake. I told her we had reservations at Le Bistro at 8 and we would see her there at 7:45.

 

The movie was "The Blindside" and it had already started when we arrived. I have a friend who has a small part in this movie, but I still don't like it. So, it didn't bother me much when we had to leave early to make dinner reservation.

 

We got to Le Bistro at about 7:30 and waited for mom and Linda. And waited. And waited. After 20 minutes, I gave up and went to their cabin to get them. Mom answered the door in her jammies.

(Really? It's not even 8pm)

I asked if they were coming to dinner. She said they thought we should have an evening alone. I asked if they had planned on telling me, and she said she forgot.

 

I got to have an entire meal with my husband. Le Bistro was great. The service was perfect. We regretted only coming here once.

 

We had planned on seeing the Beatles again, but I wasn't excited about it. We went to the casino again, and I actually came out ahead tonight! Woo-hoo!! It was a great night. We watched a little TV and went to bed.

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boopsahoy

boopsahoy

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We slept in Thursday morning. Too late to go to the MDR, so we were off to the buffet again. This morning, I found the omelet station and ate far too much. I really wanted to take a post- breakfast nap, but I powered through.

 

I didn't have anything planned for today. Cozumel was our last port, and I just wanted to chill out, pick up a few souvenirs and take some pictures. We walked around the mall area at Punta Langosta (sp?) and then took a cab to Puerta Maya. At one point we saw the big Christmas tree in the center of the area and the three girls started taking photos. Mom was ahead of me, then Collin and Linda was behind me. I didn't want to be in their pictures, so I kind of ducked back a little and sat down on a bench. Linda asked me if everything was okay. I told her I just wanted to get out of their way. She nodded and wondered away.

 

Mom and Collin sat down beside me.

 

This was the conversation that transpired between my mother and myself.

Mom: I didn't take your picture.

Swells: I know, I was trying to get out of the way so you could take your picture

M: I know you don't like having your picture taken.

S: I know, I was trying to get out of the way so you could take your picture

M: I know better than to take your picture.

S: I know, I was trying to get out of the way so you could take your picture

M: Why do you think I was trying to take your picture.

S: Dear God. I know, I was trying to get out of the way so you could take your picture

She didn't say anything else for a while. We stood up after a minute and started walking around again. Mom came up to me with her eyes all watery and announced she was going back to the ship.

(***?!? Even if you were serious and not just throwing a tantrum, you don't have a clue where you are or where you need to go!)

"Why are you going back to the ship?" I asked

"Because I think I'm annoying you."

I held back a lot, guys. A LOT.

"Yes, you did annoy me back there, and you would have been annoyed, too. I hate answering the same question over and over. If you want to go back to the ship, go ahead, but I would like for you to stay.''

That 's all she needed to hear, and she was fine.

 

Collin decided it was time for lunch.

(Ugh! Did you not see the metric ton of food I just ate?)

We headed to Pancho's Backyard. I really wasn't hungry, but I went along with Collin when he wanted to share two appetizers as well as an entree. I ate too many nachos and only took a bite out of my burrito. The food was good, but it was way too early in the day.

 

After we ate, we headed back to Punta Langosta. Riding in the cab was the first time I really missed having cell service. A song came on the radio that we all knew. But none of us could place the singer. It drove me batty. That song was stuck in my head for the next three days. (It was "What You Won't Do For Love" by Bobby Caldwell.) And now it's back in my head. Thanks.

 

Walking down the street, we encountered a lady braiding hair. Linda had mentioned months ago getting her hair braided in Jamaica, but didn't seem serious about it. Well, My mom decided Linda needed braids. She tried to get me to pay for half, but I said Linda's hair was none of my business and walked away. They negotiated from $45 to $20, and Linda was stuck. The woman said it would be 20 minutes and Collin and I left. I think it ended up taking about 30 minutes but felt like an hour. We went into some shops and Linda found a Michael Kors bag for $20. She was so excited.

"It's a real one. The women showed me how to tell."

I didn't have the heart to tell her.

 

It was getting late when we arrived back at the ship, and I really wanted to get some pictures of Cozumel. Linda needed a cigarette and Collin wanted to take a nap. Mom and I went to deck 18 for a while. When the sun started to set, I wanted to go back to the cabin to get some sunset pictures from my aft balcony.

 

I got back to the cabin and Collin was getting ready to go to the movie upstairs. He wanted me to go with him. As we were leaving, mom and Linda were coming back from somewhere. Mom had a huge piece of cake in her hand. Like, really big. Like half of a cake. She wanted me to come into their cabin and Collin was in a hurry to get to the movie. I peeked in the door and asked what she needed. She just wanted to give me some cake. I told her we had reservations at Le Bistro at 8 and we would see her there at 7:45.

 

The movie was "The Blindside" and it had already started when we arrived. I have a friend who has a small part in this movie, but I still don't like it. So, it didn't bother me much when we had to leave early to make dinner reservation.

 

We got to Le Bistro at about 7:30 and waited for mom and Linda. And waited. And waited. After 20 minutes, I gave up and went to their cabin to get them. Mom answered the door in her jammies.

(Really? It's not even 8pm)

I asked if they were coming to dinner. She said they thought we should have an evening alone. I asked if they had planned on telling me, and she said she forgot.

 

I got to have an entire meal with my husband. Le Bistro was great. The service was perfect. We regretted only coming here once.

 

We had planned on seeing the Beatles again, but I wasn't excited about it. We went to the casino again, and I actually came out ahead tonight! Woo-hoo!! It was a great night. We watched a little TV and went to bed.

 

I applaud you-I would have killed your 3 travel mates by now!!! You have the patience of a saint!

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Linda the Book Lover

Linda the Book Lover

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I love the "we" which is how our trips go as well since I am the planner. It is nice you wanted your mom to have a companion but I think you and your mom should travel on a cruise together and you and your husband should travel alone together. It works for me with two vacations a year!

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Swells1

Swells1

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I love the "we" which is how our trips go as well since I am the planner. It is nice you wanted your mom to have a companion but I think you and your mom should travel on a cruise together and you and your husband should travel alone together. It works for me with two vacations a year!

That's exactly what I've planned. Mom and I are on the Pearl in December then Collin and I are back on the Epic the next October.

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Missymo

Missymo

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This review is hilarious and stressful at the same time. Enjoyed reading your review. Like to hear other people's insights into cruising. I personally would have had a meltdown if I was dealing with some of the situations with your crew. [emoji15]. I Love cruising, no stress allowed . [emoji23][emoji41]

 

 

 

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