Widowed now and cruising with kids

[Denise Stuart]

Hi all,

 

My husband and I have taken our triplets cruising on Carnival since they were 4 years old (now 17 years old). My husband passed away 2 years ago and now we have decided to cruise without him. I am not sure how this is going to turn out. I have sunk my life into keeping busy (Running multiple businesses and raising my children). I am not sure what to expect with all of this free time.

(I do love to work out). Is there any other Widows that could guide me to some hidden secret for those times I may be lost? I would love to find a gentleman companion to make the experience fun but I know that may be asking for too much.

TIA

 

 

Denise

[riffatsea]

Hi,

I think the first thing to get used to after being widowed or divorced is to get used to doing fun things on your own. Not just the things you must do like work and children , but things you can enjoy.

That way IF you meet a guy you may enjoy that too but you won't think that you can only enjoy things with a man as a companion. Sometimes you can have fun with women as friends too.

I wouldn't go on a cruise with the idea of hoping to meet someone but planning to do activities that you like.

[Denise Stuart]

Sorry if I came off as looking for a man.

I have been living the single life for 2 years.

I do know how to do things along and love to, but the cruise was a family affair.

I am just bracing myself for all of the potential downtime and would like to find tricks that someone else may have came across that worked for them.

Please don't read more into this..

[hrwi]

Are you a big reader? I'd definitely hit the library prior!

 

I might do something like have a daily "date" with just one kid. I find I have really good time with each of my kids on their own - a meal or a mini-golf game?

[Denise Stuart]

hrwi,

 

That sounds like great idea! Thank you!

[carnivaladdix120]

I'm married but spend quite a bit of time alone on our cruises (hubby loves the casino lol) so I like to put different events on my favorites list on the Hub app like all of the trivia games (always meet lots of fun people). I also download a few books to read on Serenity deck in a clamshell. I love the ocean so I tend to get a little snack from the Taste Bar and relax on deck or on the couches near the windows.

[bury me at sea]

Check the Fun Times for things that interest you such as afternoon tea, cooking demonstration, art auctions are fun even if you have no intention of buying, line dancing, etc. There's always something going on.

 

I am an avid reader and take 3 or 4 books with me.

 

I hope you have a great cruise. It will be different but you might enjoy some of the differences.

[winddawn]

I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds to me like you are still grieving the loss of your husband, and that is understandable.

 

I've been divorced for over 5 years after 25 years of marriage. We were always avid cruisers as a couple (since the 90's). It has been a big adjustment. I think it is important to just go enjoy yourself and your family, and not just as a diversion to stay busy. I've found cruising solo to be very enjoyable and a welcome break from work and everyday responsibilities and taking care of my house and yard. It really does take time to shake that feeling of experiencing life as a couple, but over time, I've found not being part of a couple has a lot of very enjoyable advantages.

 

One of the great things about cruising is meeting so many different people who enjoy cruising and traveling as much as you do. I've found most people to be very warm and welcoming even though I'm not part of a couple, and most are willing to exchange cruise experiences very willingly. I've met some amazing people cruising. But toss out that notion of meeting someone onboard because most cruisers are couples and families.

 

At the time of my divorce, I had been married over half my life. After that, I decided it was time to experience life on my own and to enjoy things that I like to do, a luxury I didn't have when I was married. And it has been an amazing 5 years. I've taken 14 cruises since my divorce, some with friends and some solo. That's about 3 cruises a year. And I don't regret a single one of them. I've had a blast!

 

I'd encourage you to just go enjoy yourself and your cruise. It's an important step to learning how to enjoy yourself as something other than just being half of a couple. I hope you have a great time with your triplets. :-)

[FLSteve11]

Sorry if I came off as looking for a man.

I have been living the single life for 2 years.

I do know how to do things along and love to, but the cruise was a family affair.

I am just bracing myself for all of the potential downtime and would like to find tricks that someone else may have came across that worked for them.

Please don't read more into this..

 

You still have the gym to work out in.

I would get involved in activities. Trivia, game shows, arts and crafts, dance classes, etc. There are usually a number of things going on besides the big shows and eating. Try some new things out, you may find you like them and have a new hobby to do. Look up the roll call for your cruise and get involved in it. Chances are you might find someone else who you relate to and have someone to hang out with or group activities. While it isn't most cruises (since I'm usually with my DW and DD), there are some cruises where we had a great roll call and people would play games together, or even just hang out and chat about things.

[A&Jfamily]

There are plenty of people that have cruises solo with kids. You might wish to post on the family board for other insights.

 

But I can say I think without my DH that a cruise would look much the same with my kids along. We breakfast as a family. I take walks on the track. Relax on the balcony. Read. Go to cooking demonstration or trivia or some other shipboard activity. Meet my kids for dinner. Catch a show or comedy club. Watch a movie on TV or under the stars. Have some drinks and chat with people. And enjoy my shore excursions with my family. You can be as busy or as quiet as you. I am sure it seems so very different but you can develop your own new cruise routine.

 

Sometimes after being so busy all the time we have to learn again to just "be"

 

 

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[momonthego17]

I like to keep a journal, detailing the day, what I ate, experiences and it's fun to read even years later. If you are on a ship with an Alchemy Bar, ask about the Mixologist class. The class won't be listed in the Fun Times, you need to ask, like the first day. It's usually held the last sea day around 2pm. The bartender educates about the way to mix drinks and you get to help out. I think it was $20 per person, about 2 hours long and lots of samples[emoji3]. The small group that does this is usually chatty.

On a healthier note, walk around the track on deck. I've had lots of great chats with fellow walkers.

I've enjoyed the 3 pm tea time and chatted with lots of people.

Work out at the gym! Even if there's no chatting, it's good for endorphins [emoji106]🏻

Have a great cruise!

[BoDidly]

I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds to me like you are still grieving the loss of your husband, and that is understandable.

 

I've been divorced for over 5 years after 25 years of marriage. We were always avid cruisers as a couple (since the 90's). It has been a big adjustment. I think it is important to just go enjoy yourself and your family, and not just as a diversion to stay busy. I've found cruising solo to be very enjoyable and a welcome break from work and everyday responsibilities and taking care of my house and yard. It really does take time to shake that feeling of experiencing life as a couple, but over time, I've found not being part of a couple has a lot of very enjoyable advantages.

 

One of the great things about cruising is meeting so many different people who enjoy cruising and traveling as much as you do. I've found most people to be very warm and welcoming even though I'm not part of a couple, and most are willing to exchange cruise experiences very willingly. I've met some amazing people cruising. But toss out that notion of meeting someone onboard because most cruisers are couples and families.

 

At the time of my divorce, I had been married over half my life. After that, I decided it was time to experience life on my own and to enjoy things that I like to do, a luxury I didn't have when I was married. And it has been an amazing 5 years. I've taken 14 cruises since my divorce, some with friends and some solo. That's about 3 cruises a year. And I don't regret a single one of them. I've had a blast!

 

I'd encourage you to just go enjoy yourself and your cruise. It's an important step to learning how to enjoy yourself as something other than just being half of a couple. I hope you have a great time with your triplets. :-)

This is really sound advice , can't add much to ît ,but I'll try.

Whatever life brings you remember this , be good to yourself . Treat yourself to a luxury that you normally wouldn't do. Everything else will fall into place :) after that.

[stevefrisco]

Bless you and belated condolences for your loss. Working out always helps me take my mind off stuff (though I don't do it enough). Nothing is more beautiful than working out overlooking the sea. I hope you all enjoy yourselves.

[Denise Stuart]

Thank you, you all have been very generous with your thoughts. I really appreciate it! I'll post how it went next week. God bless you..

[frayedend]

I'm going on my first cruise with my teen boys after my divorce in a couple of weeks. I'm not too worried about keeping busy. I'm usually not completely at ease when alone, but one or 2 cocktails and no problem at all. As many pointed out there are so many activities to keep busy. We are doing a port heavy cruise and I am looking forward to spending time with my kids. It will certainly be a different experience without their mom coming along. But I'm also sure they will ditch me on the ship quite a bit. But there's trivia, the piano bar is awesome at night, cooking demos, drink demos, bingo if that's your thing. Have a great time.

[EmilyMac]

Hi Denise,

 

I read your post and had to reply. I was widowed and also have 3 children. After taking many vacations alone with the kids, I found that cruising was the perfect vacation for us. Before cruising, I was the vacation planner, the one to make all the decisions and it seemed more like work than fun with no significant other to share it with. But cruising with the kids allowed me to relax as everything is planned on the ship. The kids could go off and do the things that interested them and I could do the things that I wanted to do. Then we'd meet up during the day for meals, activities, etc. It was the ideal vacation in a less than ideal situation. Don't get me wrong, there were many times that I'd look at other families and wish that my husband was there with us too. And for you, as you'd cruised before with your husband, it will be an adjustment to the fact that he is not with you again. For us, this was a new experience and we didn't have memories of previous experiences to deal with. But you can do this!

 

I wish you the best with this experience and all the other changes in your life.

[dcherry]

I am not a widow or single but I have plenty of experience doing my own thing. I've never really found much "down time" on a cruise. Do you typically go over the Fun Times for each day? If not, you can pretty much keep busy Alllll day long if you don't want any down time. I usually have the opposite problem and can't decide which of the activities to give up. I've also done the excursions by myself and still had a great time.

[Frick_&_Frack]

Hi Denise - My condolences to you and your family. While I am also a widow, we did not have children.

 

However, I have begun cruising again. And, as to "downtime" (as I was my DH's caregiver - it was a major concern for me since I'd forgotten what "time" was), I only have as much of it as I want.

 

I have come home from recent cruises with a list of things I wanted to do/try and never got around to. Either, I was reading, enjoying participating in games (or mostly watching), etc. The time flew right by.

 

Good luck. Just remember, please, that this is a new (sort of) experience. Enjoy the time with your children. Some days may not be perfect, and, trust me, you may envy the "perfect" families you see too. But, hopefully, you have happy memories as well and can build a new tradition for your family.

[Denise Stuart]

Thank you to everybody who responded to my thread. Our cruise was great I never felt alone the ship family is amazing they knew my birthday was coming up so they celebrated it while onboard. A lot of wonderful people including gentlemen that just enjoyed my company as I did theirs. As a Realtor I made many new contacts which I did not plan to going in. So business, pleasure and keeping the family tradition alive, I am so blessed, thank you all for making me feel I could do this I really appreciate it.

Edited August 1, 2017 by Denise Stuart

[Denise Stuart]

Bless you and belated condolences for your loss. Working out always helps me take my mind off stuff (though I don't do it enough). Nothing is more beautiful than working out overlooking the sea. I hope you all enjoy yourselves.

Thank you, I did work out every day, the food options for my clean eating was taken care of and my alone time/company time worked out perfectly. I didn't realize their are so many great conversationalists on board. I will never worry about traveling alone again.

[LambKnuckles]

I didn't start cruising till after I was widowed. I took my Mom and my daughter on our first cruise. My DD was just 17, and she LOVED the Carnival Club. She was heartbroken when she got to be too old to go there.

 

My husband loved the sea. For a short part of his life, he worked on board seismic vessels off America, Africa, and Alaska. We never were able to cruise together. By the time the bug bit us, he was too sick.

 

I love people watching. I love the activities. Going to the shows and the Comedy Club, playing Bingo, or just getting a deck of cards and playing Solitaire. I would go to the Library. I'm not a sun-worshiper, but love the slides! Even still in my 60s, I love the slides.

 

Meet people, talk to strangers, play the penny slots in the Casino -- I made a $10 contribution work for almost 90 minutes, playing the minimum bet and just having fun and people watching and chatting.

 

Bless you.

[hrwi]

Thank you to everybody who responded to my thread. Our cruise was great I never felt alone the ship family is amazing they knew my birthday was coming up so they celebrated it while onboard. A lot of wonderful people including gentlemen that just enjoyed my company as I did theirs. As a Realtor I made many new contacts which I did not plan to going in. So business, pleasure and keeping the family tradition alive, I am so blessed, thank you all for making me feel I could do this I really appreciate it.

 

I'm so glad you had a nice time!