At Dinner, Do You Wait To Eat Till Everyone Is Served?

[tuggers]

It always amazes me that people have food put in front of them and they IMMEDIATELY begin to eat. No waiting for everyone to be served. Have they changed the etiquette books while these people were at the buffet?

 

I have even encountered this at the Captain's Table when the signal to eat is always 'Bon Appetite' by the Host at the beginning of the meal and when the Host begins to eat for the following courses.

 

Now on another thread, we have someone ordering extra Shrimp Cocktails to

 

maintain the flow of courses at the meal!

How ridiculous! You want to skip a course, you skip a course. People should look, see that you have no soup, salad, etc. At that time, you can say, 'I'm not having this course' and everyone can begin to eat. This does not disrupt the 'flow of the meal'!

Opinions please.

I have always thought this was very elementary table manners but obviously, some people are too anxious to get to that food. It could have been a couple of hours since they've eaten!:D

[JimnKaren]

Karen and I almost always wait to make sure that all at our table have been served. However, if my ice cream is melting on my pie, I will start sooner, rather than later. At a large table (10 or more) the waiter can take several minutes to get all in place, but we wait anyway. If one is sitting at a table of two or four, then what the heck, it will only be an extra 30 seconds!!

 

Jim

[Ma Bell]

Yes, it's definitely basic table manners, but I'm sure there are people who just don't know any better. They just weren't taught. Usually when they see others waiting they catch on. Even though my parents were from very humble backgrounds, they always made sure we learned our manners.

 

On the other hand, I'm sure there are a few who just don't care.;)

[usha]

Yes, we wait.

 

I've been pretty surprised to see even pax at the officers table, begin to eat before the officer has been served! :eek: This is such basic manners, but the clueless march on...

[Outlanderssc]

As with all issues of manners, there are limits here.

 

I usually order a special low-sodium meal which can take as long as ten minutes extra to prepare. Sorry, Doctor's orders -

 

I certainly wouldn't expect my table mates to eat their dinners cold in deference to my dietary requirements. Go right ahead, I would feel better knowing you enjoyed your meal rather than follow some rigid rule of ettiquette.

 

Ideally, of course, the waiter will hold service until all the meals are prepared and can be served at the same time. But this is not always the case, and not always possible.

[Ma Bell]

In this case, the one who is holding up the table just says "please don't wait for me, my meal may take a little extra time."

That's where the manners come in.

[flashdog_1]

When you have a special dietary need because of health or allergies, want a vegan, kosher meal etc. you inform the cruiseline a couple of weeks ahead of time so they will have the ingredients etc. I didn't realize that even so the meal would be delayed.

 

True, a good waiter will wait to serve everyone simultaneously but in a case like that I don't know???

 

I've seen passengers say to the others, "Please go ahead since my entre is late coming," or the same with melting ice cream. Usually everyone waits, of course.

 

If someone happens not to wait, then everyone has permission to go ahead, I guess.

[chessbriar]

it's only polite to wait until everyone is served. It's also proper manners. Unfortunately, as society becomes more relaxed and casual so do manners.

[Andym]

My DW is a vegetarian and orders from the vegetarian menu. If the waiter is doing his job, and they always have, her meal always is served along with everyone elses. At the table for 10 we had in August on the Millennium, the ladies orders were taken first, and they also had their meals served first and everyone waited untill all had been served until they started. Just basic manners and nothing else.

[flagger]

No.

 

We cannot stand cold food or melted ice cream or lukewarm salad.

[tuggers]

Flagger you are kidding, right?

 

Got this off the internet on the proper way to begin:

 

Q: When is it okay to begin drinking and eating? Does one wait until the host/hostess starts eating his/her meal?

A: If water is on the table as you are seated, it is appropriate to sip your water after everyone is seated and after you have placed your napkin in your lap. For other beverages and foods, wait until everyone has been served, and do not eat until your host/hostess has begun; when your host picks up his/her fork, this is an indicator that you may do so. Do not help yourself to the bread basket and other communal foods until your host has indicated you may do so. If you pick up the bread basket, hold the basket and offer to the person to your left, then serve yourself, and then pass the basket to the person on your right. (Same applies to butter, salad dressings, and other condiments that are passed.) The host/hostess may ask you to start eating and you should comply with the request

[Jimsgirl]

On a recent cruise, a "table mate" was very obnoxious all the time, she "knew everything" yet really knew nothing . she would make her point by wagging her finger at you. Every night she would go straight to the salads, and demand that hers be served when everyone else received the appetiser. then she expected her main course to be served, while others we still eating soup or salads, then she would get up an leave to go to the Casino (she spent a great deal of the cruise there).

 

Her leaving left us to actually ENJOY the rest of the meal.

[Marobarb]

Yes, I wait. I have to see what utensils to use for that course.

[Karynanne]

Always wait until everyone is served, or as Ma Bell said, if someone does say "Please go right ahead and start", then we will.

 

Karyn

[Char]

The Bobster has to have a no added sodium diet and our table has never had to wait for his food to be served. It is always served along with all the rest of the diner's courses. Why would a special menu need to be delayed? Oh--of course we wait till the whole table has been served.

[Luckyroot]

I always wait till everyone has their meal in front of them.

 

However, if for some reason MY meal isn't there I immediately offer for others to begin and not wait on me (presuming of course that they have waited.......sometimes they don't!)

 

It's just good manners..........some have them, some don't!

[RodPat]

I don't understand everyone's rush to eat. We cruise to enjoy everyone's company and eating with them is just one of those special things we get to do. We had someone on our last cruise who had to have a special menu and she was able to order her food the night before for the upcoming day's dinner. We never had a delay waiting for her food. Why someone has to leave dinner early to gamble is something I can't understand. I love the casino but there are plenty of hours on the ship to lose my money. I for one feel bad about the loss of manners. Pat

[Ine]

Yes, of course we will wait, so we can eat all together.

We never had any problem with that on our table.

 

We are on vacation, no need to hurry....

[bakcd]

While on the Mercury in October, I was shown the menu for the next evening before leaving the dining room. I indicated my choices for the following day to the matre'd. My meal was always served with everyone elses. If you are in need of a special diet, ask to order in advance.

[Schplinky]

We wait until folks have been served or have asked us to go ahead, because their meal was delayed or they would prefer us not to wait. That said, I was reading Emily Post or Judith Martin (Miss Manners) once and the rule stated there was that at a large, unhosted, table (as in there is no person hosting the meal), as soon as three people have their food, it is ok to eat. I was surprised by this but suppose that at some events, a very large table might take a long time to serve. We normally eat at medium tables of 6-8 and I would feel rude to dive right in.

 

I really like Judith Martin's take on manners, by the way. Her feeling is that ettiquette is not properly used to make people feel like outsiders, it is used to let everyone know what to expect so everyone can be comfortable.

[WeBeCruisin']

Flagger you are kidding, right?

 

 

His Flaggerness doesn't kid about such things.:)

[cfprunner]

Always wait. I can't imagine anything more rude.

 

Also, if your food is delayed, always ask the others to begin without you.

[tbelian]

No.

 

We cannot stand cold food or melted ice cream or lukewarm salad.

 

Surprised?

[Ericknow32]

I will wait but if my table mates don't care and start eating before I get my meal I will not hesitate to do the same for the next meal. I am usually the last person to be served (don't know why) and most of the time people don't feel the need to wait until I get served. The way I feel is that if people at my table don't show respect why should I do the same for them when the roles are reversed. But, I will do the right thing until the ice is broken.

[Schplinky]

So here's a twist on the post: will you wait if your tablemates are consistently late getting to the table? I would open with a gentle "don't wait for us if we're late" on the first night if we are dining with strangers but in general, I would not want to wait a half hour for folks to stroll in. I was genuinely surprised on my first cruise how late some folks would arrive and would expect the waiter to run and get them appetisers and salads while we were well onto the entree.