Taking Step-Son out on Cruise

[FiveOh147]

Does anyone know or had an experience with only one legal parent leaving on a cruise with there son/daughter. My wife and I are going on a cruise in March with our son and her son (my step-son). Is there a problem leaving the country without both parents there. Since there is no way his real father would sign a letter allowing it because he is an ________. (fill in the blank)

[Cotton]

Uh-oh. You may have a problem. I see you'll be on a Carnival ship. Carnival (maybe all cruiselines?) requires a signed affidavit from the 'other' parent that give the accompanying parent permission to take the child out of the USA.

 

If you go to 'guest services' on the Carnival website, I believe there is a form you can copy, to have signed, or at least request a copy of the needed form.

 

In your case, since the dad is a ____,:( all I can say is 'good luck'.

[jckvpa0]

My friend who is a widow was taking her daughters out of the country & she had to show a death certificate at the airport. When I first heard of this I was appalled, ( her husband had been dead for less than a year), I thought what an awful way to start off a trip. Given that so many children are abducted by spouses I understand the need to do this.

[jae1969]

Does anyone know or had an experience with only one legal parent leaving on a cruise with there son/daughter. My wife and I are going on a cruise in March with our son and her son (my step-son). Is there a problem leaving the country without both parents there. Since there is no way his real father would sign a letter allowing it because he is an ________. (fill in the blank)

 

Does your DW have full custody or Joint? If full, then it is just a matter of keeping your DW from being questions and possible delayed. Sign the Doc yourself. She does not have to ask permission from him. If it is Joint, then you can always ask your attorney to send the form to the Ex's attorney and and have it signed that way. chances are he would not be an ______ to his own attorney.

[kitty9]

As long as your stepson has a different last name from everyone else in your family, you will need to get permission from the birth father to take the boy out of the country. It makes no difference who has custody, be it full or joint. My cousin has full custody of her son, and even though the birth father lives in Oklahoma and not in Arizona, she still needed to have the notorized and signed letter from the father. Carnival, and the airline, asked for this before they cruised to Mexico.

[Jodyflower]

I actually have personal experience with this one! I have two children and am on my second marriage. We have already gone on two cruises with the children and a third coming up in February. If you have SOLE LEGAL CUSTODY, then you do not need permission from the birth father, however you do need documentation (original court papers) proving such. If you have shared or joint custody (which is the case with me), you do in fact need an original notarized letter signed by the other birth parent. What I did was just typed up a short letter including the children's names, dates of birth, dates of the cruise, name of cruiseline, ports of call and also included both my name and my husband's name stating that my ex-husband gives his permission for the children to accompany us on the cruise. It is also very important that you include in the letter that your ex-husband/wife give full permission for yourself and spouse to make medical decisions for the children should the need arise. If your ex gives you a hassle about signing the letter and getting it notarized, I would definitely just have it go through the lawyers. Both times I presented the notarized letter at check-in at the cruise terminal and we sailed right through (although Norweigan did not even ask for it but Royal Caribbean did). It is just a control issue with the exes and it is sad to think that they would deny their children the opportunity to such a fun time just to be spiteful to their ex, but as we both know, these selfish people do exist. Good luck! :)

[jae1969]

Yes, Kitty that is true. However the requirement is only for the cruiseline not the courts. So I am only implying to just sign the ex's name and have someone you know notorize it. Everyone knows someone who can notorize. Again, the only one requiring the signature is the cruiseline. The father cannot do anything, if he wanted to try, it would have to be in civil court and again if the mother has full custody then he has no right. No law is broken reguarding taking the child out of the country. The only law broken would be the signing of somone else name and again it is just for the purpose of keeping the cruiseline happy. If you have full custody, you have a right to take your child anywhere you want on vaction.

 

Sorry to offend you, but sometimes you can not fight an ______ without being an ______ yourself.

 

I would never advise this, I am only implying what I would do, If I were in you situation.

 

Good luck

[bplazo]

I have always traveled with my daughter who has a different last name than myself and my husband. I have never been questioned about it.

[letscruisegd]

I just took my daughter on her first cruise this past August (she was 16 at the time). I had a notorized letter signed by my ex-husband however, Carnival did not ask for it. My daugher and I showed our passports and we were on our way. Maybe they didn't ask for it because she's a teenager and not a small child. I'm taking her on another cruise in April and although she's 17, I'll take another notorized letter just in case.

[Jodyflower]

Wow, BPLazo - you've been quite lucky! Like I said, Norweigan didn't ask for it, although they told me it was required at booking, but Royal Caribbean did ask for it and am I glad I had that notarized letter because at first I couldn't locate it and they told me we would definitely have been denied boarding if I didn't have it. I will always bring one with me just in case.

[idocdlw]

Yes, Kitty that is true. However the requirement is only for the cruiseline not the courts. So I am only implying to just sign the ex's name and have someone you know notorize it. Everyone knows someone who can notorize. Again, the only one requiring the signature is the cruiseline. The father cannot do anything, if he wanted to try, it would have to be in civil court and again if the mother has full custody then he has no right. No law is broken reguarding taking the child out of the country. The only law broken would be the signing of somone else name and again it is just for the purpose of keeping the cruiseline happy. If you have full custody, you have a right to take your child anywhere you want on vaction.

 

Sorry to offend you, but sometimes you can not fight an ______ without being an ______ yourself.

 

I would never advise this, I am only implying what I would do, If I were in you situation.

 

Good luck

 

I would be very hesitant about asking my notary to compromise his/her integrity. Even if they did notarize willingly, if they lost their notary privileges needlessly, I'd feel horrible.

 

My ex is a _____ too so I can emphasize. People are always amazed that I haven't taken him to court for back child support, but you can't squeeze blood from a turnip. I've even loaned him money when he's needed it. Though I've never threatened to take him to court, the fact that I could serves as proper motivation for him to cooperate in situations like this. Rather than be an ____ myself, I am slowly "killing him with kindness" ;)

 

Please do not compromise your integrity...even if that means involving lawyers, mediators, whomever. You are the role model for your children...how would you ultimately want them to handle similar situations that may arise in their futures??

[MississippiMom]

We have plans to cruise in late 2006, with our two biological children and my husband's daughter from his first marriage. All five of us have the same last name. We have a copy of my step-daughter's birth certificate, which, obviously, reflects her mother's name, which is not mine. Will we still need a letter from her mother to cruise? (This scares me because she is the type to sabotage such a trip.)

 

Thanks for any information or experience that you share.

[Jodyflower]

Because you all have the same last name, l would think you are ok. However, does your husband have SOLE custoday or JOINT custody of your step-daughter? If he does not have sole custody, then legally he must get permission from the birth mother. Since you say the mother is difficult, she could always say that her daughter was kidnapped (extreme but not impossible). Myself, if I were you, I would consult a lawyer to ensure the letter gets signed and back to you before your cruise. Good luck! :)

[FiveOh147]

I really appriciate all the feedback and assistance. Since I live in the state of Florida and they rarely give sole custody that is not the case. My step-son's father only has parental responsibilities which include child support and visitation every other weekend. I obviously need to contact our atty but was interested in what experiences others had. Thanks again.

[MississippiMom]

Because you all have the same last name, l would think you are ok. However, does your husband have SOLE custoday or JOINT custody of your step-daughter? If he does not have sole custody, then legally he must get permission from the birth mother. Since you say the mother is difficult, she could always say that her daughter was kidnapped (extreme but not impossible). Myself, if I were you, I would consult a lawyer to ensure the letter gets signed and back to you before your cruise. Good luck! :)

 

I know that this response may seem a bit odd, but I know for certain that neither parent has "sole custody" of my stepdaughter, however, I can't recall if they still have "joint custody." (There have been many legal issues in the past two and a half years and I really try to stay out of it as much as possible, now.)

 

I do know that in the current version of their parenting plan (I think this is the fifth version, in the past ten years that I have been around.), any time a parent travels with the child, the other parent is to be notified in advance, including detailed information about where the child will be at and how they can be contacted. I will make sure that when the time comes, that my husband sends the cruise information through the attorneys so that his ex-wife doesn't claim that she wasn't told. Additionally, I am trying to encourage my husband to request that his ex. agree to getting a passport for their child. I know it won't be necessary for this 2006 cruise, but it will provide us with some photo ID of their child, plus it will be a good "first step" to get his ex. thinking about their daughter traveling with us.

 

I'm crossing my fingers that we won't have any problems. :rolleyes:

[Jodyflower]

Well at least you have plenty of time to get this all squared away. Pain in the butt, I know, but if you are going through a lawyer for the notarized letter, might as well try for the passports at the same time! Finally got my ex to sign for the passports and at least I don't have to worry about it for another 5 years! Much luck to you - my fingers and toes are crossed for you!! :)

[MikeT718]

Yes, Kitty that is true. However the requirement is only for the cruiseline not the courts. So I am only implying to just sign the ex's name and have someone you know notorize it. Everyone knows someone who can notorize. Again, the only one requiring the signature is the cruiseline. The father cannot do anything, if he wanted to try, it would have to be in civil court and again if the mother has full custody then he has no right. No law is broken reguarding taking the child out of the country. The only law broken would be the signing of somone else name and again it is just for the purpose of keeping the cruiseline happy. If you have full custody, you have a right to take your child anywhere you want on vaction.

 

Sorry to offend you, but sometimes you can not fight an ______ without being an ______ yourself.

 

I would never advise this, I am only implying what I would do, If I were in you situation.

 

Good luck

 

How can you tell some one to break the LAW..I am a Notary and would never notarize any thing like this I MUST HAVE THE PERSON SIGNING IN FRONT OF ME..

 

Now as far as a step child and travling if they are over 15 there is no problem any further DW and her DS and myself were on the Zaandam last spring and no longer needed her X to sign.

[MikeT718]

WSOD

Dup Post

[suep]

We recently cruised to Mexico on Princess and my son brought along his 17 year old friend. We were told by Princess that we needed a letter from the parents authorizing the friend to travel with us. In that the friend's father had passed away several years earlier, the mom provided us with a notarized letter indicating her son could travel with us, along with death certificate for the husband. Princess did not even ask for these documents; just wanted to see all of our passports. However, when we went through customs on the way back into the US, the customs agent asked to see the travel documentation for the friend. Who knows what would have happened if we didn't have this documentation....better safe than sorry!!

[Sandra*]

My husband and I have children from another marriage each...and only one of our children has a different last name. We both have joint custody of all children and when we travel, we print up a letter that the other parent signs confirming that they are allowing us to take the child(ren) on that specific vacation, etc...we get it notorized. We also bring our custody papers confirming our joint custody rights (in my papers I have it stated that I am allowed to take my daughter on vacations up to 7 days without having the father's permission). We have been travelling with them now for many years...both cruise and land...and have only been asked for the papers once...at the ticket booth at the airport during check in.

[jae1969]

I appoligize if I offended anyone. That is not my intent. I just understand how difficult it can be to deal with an ex who only cares about ruining your vaction with the kids out of spite or jealousy or whatever his/her reason. Unless you have walked in those shoes you have no idea what it is like. It was very easy for me several years ago to say you should just reason with the person. Then I found out that they do not care. They dont care how it will hurt thier children, they do not care how it will hurt anyone. All they care about is hurting you.

 

Try and spend several years being the good parent, following the rules, do what is right only to have the other person to somehow always end up controlling the situation. That is what it is about, the ex wants to control the situation, and sometimes you just cant let them. I understand what several of these people are going thru.

 

Again, I am sorry if I offended anyone. I would take back what I said if I could.

[Jodyflower]

Jae1969: I know about the control issue with the ex all to well. However, I found after too many years of being controlled, that YOU must take control of the situation at hand and be an advocate for the innocent children that are in an unfortunate situation. I know it's hard and you get angry and your emotions take over and you just act on it. But, as a parent, we must set proper examples for our children and make decisions that not only we want them to follow but that we ourselves will follow as well. :)

[matt32703]

I have always traveled with my daughter who has a different last name than myself and my husband. I have never been questioned about it.

 

I've had the same experience as bplazo. I have 2 step-sons and have sailed with them on Celebrity and Carnival. Neither line has said a word to us about the boys and needing a letter from their father.

 

I guess it comes down to a CYA thing. Better to have the letter and not need it than not and need. We are cruising again in a few weeks so maybe we will get something together and have their dad sign it.

[matt32703]

Ok ... I went to the Carnival site and this is what they say (or at least what I found):

 

"When traveling with a minor and both parents/legal guardians are not cruising, we strongly recommend bringing an original signed letter from the absent parent/legal guardian authorizing the minor to travel with you. This will expedite processing by the Department of Homeland Security. Please note that a notarized letter to this effect is required if debarking with children in Mexico."

 

Looks like:

1. They "strongly recommend", not require a letter.

2. Having a letter will "expedite processing by the Department of Homeland Security".

3. Mexico requires a letter ... however, we have been to Cozumel without one.

 

I'm sure this will just add to any confusion. Believe me, we hate to deal with my wife's ex, too. Good luck to all........

[richbum]

I can sympothize with you in this situation. It wasn't the ex who was giving me a hard time (well, it was, but it was his wife who was making all of the decisions for him). We never went out of country, but everything that I wanted to talk to him about was a big fight. Also, being on the other side of it, (I am a notary) there is no way that I would ever go against the oath that I made and forge his name. If he is really that bad of a guy, he will definetly take you to court for forging, and then who looks like the bad parent??? It won't be him.

Just my 2 cents, but I have decided that the "kill em w/kindness" thing works much better, and now, I am getting my way much more often.

My best advise is, go through the lawyers. He won't want to look bad in front of his.

 

Good luck.