Worst cruise excursion ideas

[cactuslady]

To begin your day, join local residents as you take transit buses for a tour of the state-of-the-art LA Area Freeways. See Watts, Encino, the Assyrian temple facade of the old tire factory, and the City of Industry. Buses will pass close enough to Disneyland so passengers on the right side can spot the Matterhorn. Wear a bathing suit under your clothes, so you will be ready for your 3-hour Snorkeling Tour of Los Angeles Harbor, followed by the Great White Shark Encounter (food provided so you can hand-feed the friendly sharks). Refreshments will be provided on your return to the ship, including chicharrones and your own historic can of Brew 102, a famous brand produced right in downtown LA in the halcyon days before the brewery was demolished.

 

(Sorry Californians, but I grew up there. ;) )

[Copper10-8]

visitling the town of hell and the turtle farm

 

Come on Vic, dude! How often do you have a chance to go Hell and/or tell people to go to Hell? Maybe they can move the turtle farm to Hell and have turtles from Hell;)

[tomc]

How often do you have a chance to go Hell and/or tell people to go to Hell?

I have some neat cards, just like the Monopoly "Get out of jail free" cards, but they say, "Get out of Hell free." I give them out to people and they are very popular.

 

http://www.goohf.com/

[Copper10-8]

I have some neat cards, just like the Monopoly "Get out of jail free" cards, but they say, "Get out of Hell free." I give them out to people and they are very popular.

 

http://www.goohf.com/

 

I like the T-shirts:)

[cactuslady]

How about best shore excursions? From Seattle, you can get to Paradise and back in a day.

[kryos]

Going to the luau experience sponsored by the cruise line in Hawaii. The food was atrocious and the entertainment merely OK. Too many people and too far from the stage.

LOL ... and they are still offering this excursion because a bunch of people on our Amsterdam cruise in January took it ... and, yes, complained. They made such a ruckus about it that HAL issued a partial refund ... something like 20%. The food was apparently barely edible, it started raining so the show was cut short, and the place was mobbed. People on that tour were NOT happy and were not shy about making their displeasure known at the shore excursions desk.

 

For my money, I don't bother with luaus anymore. They are not worth the money charged. Yes, the show is nice, but it is often packed and your view of the stage is usually quite obstructed. The food is usually of medocre quality.

 

For my money, on my next trip to Hawaii, I'd rather spend a day at the Polynesian Cultural Center. We stopped there on a Circle Island tour I took there in January. We did not have the run of the whole property, because we were just there for lunch, but what a lunch it was! Barbeque, plus lots of other items on the buffet. ANYONE could find something there that they would enjoy ... and the food was of pretty good quality ... buffet-style, sure ... but good quality ... and far better than the fare served at a luau.

 

I'll definitely make it a point next time I'm in Hawaii to take the tour that spends the whole day there cause it looks like there is sure a lot to see that we did not get a chance to experience on this particular tour.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[kryos]

Come on Vic, dude! How often do you have a chance to go Hell and/or tell people to go to Hell? Maybe they can move the turtle farm to Hell and have turtles from Hell;)

I actually enjoyed that tour. :) I think it also included the rum outlet as well as hell and the turtle farm.

 

Not something I'd necessarily do again. I only did it the first time because I had promised several people that I would get them tee-shirts from Hell.

 

It is neat to be able to say I've been to Hell and back, though. :)

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[Copper10-8]

For my money, on my next trip to Hawaii, I'd rather spend a day at the Polynesian Cultural Center. We stopped there on a Circle Island tour I took there in January. We did not have the run of the whole property, because we were just there for lunch, but what a lunch it was! Barbeque, plus lots of other items on the buffet. ANYONE could find something there that they would enjoy ... and the food was of pretty good quality ... buffet-style, sure ... but good quality ... and far better than the fare served at a luau.

 

I'll definitely make it a point next time I'm in Hawaii to take the tour that spends the whole day there cause it looks like there is sure a lot to see that we did not get a chance to experience on this particular tour.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

 

Hey Rita, ever done the "road to Hana" on Maui?

[Pete Jackson]

"Swim with the Alligators"

 

"Your gleamimg coach will depart from dockside and take you through the picturesque neighborhoods surrounding Miami airport as it heads off to the everglades for this unique and uplifting experience.

 

"After winding through magnificent sawgrass groves, the coach will pull up at a beautiful beach teeming with flying and swimming wildlife, and you will wade in to mount your 'steeds', magnificent Florida alligators, who will glide you through the maze of Everglades waterways. You will have the opportunity to dismount and come face-to-face with your reptile for a kiss! Then, holding the gators tail, you will be towed back to the beach for a refreshing drink of gatorade. A tasty lunch of barbecued everglades shrimp will be provided before you reboard your coach for the trip back to the ship.

 

Note: please wear your bathing suit under a comfortable top to make full enjoyment of this wonderful and educating day. Chicken necks will be provided to keep your 'steeds' running at maximum performance.

[hobbit81]

How many people can say they went to Hell and back?:D

 

Did you send your postcards from Hell, GC too?:p

 

I'm sorry, I had to laugh. I know it's really not funny but as Jimmy B say's "if we wouldn't laugh we would go insane." And I know my time is comming for the bad experience but just haven't had it yet. Is there wood somewhere to knock on??

[mama d]

I have to say to the people who have gotten into the "spirit" of the OP's idea I am being entertained!

Keep them coming, for me this laughter is great medicine and right now I am in need of it.:)

 

Sunny days, smooth sailing

[ANSalberg]

You mention Asia -and we were there in October on the Pacific Rim cruise on the Amsterdam -and it was MAGNIFICENT cruise! However, We decided to cancel a projected Beijing tour- when they told us there was "no potty stop for over 4 hours" in the mid-morning time-range! Ahhh; COFFEE??????? We heard later that the potties they DID have were squat-holes......Ummm; I don't think so, dude! Laughing NOW; but that isn't funny!

[GOLDENBONNY]

Cruise Line Meet and Greet:

 

Stop in a port with at least 5 other large cruise ships. Stand in a line along the dock with all other passengers and shake hands with all passengers from other ships.

 

Cost: Carnival $39

RCCL $49

HAL $59

Crystal $69

 

 

I JUST HOPE ITS A JOKE:confused: ????ITS CAN'T BE REAL:eek:

[michmike]

you need to check out pennsylvania dutch country..paradise is less than an hour from intercourse.. (he says, with the very straightest face)

 

in the spirit of the OP the very worst shore excursions are ANY that the cruise line sponsors.. dealing with whiny kids and constant stragglers at any stop.. no thank you.. we do our research online and book with local independent operators..go when we want. where we want and generally at less than what the ship tours cost

[mama d]

We've been on some good ones, and some bad ones. Regarding the bad ones, cheer up. Things could get worse. In that vein, I request your suggestions for really bad cruise excersions. Cruise execs are listening! For example, from Asian ports,

 

"Visit large poultry farm and join in chicken plucking experience."

 

 

OP's original got several of us thinking ....... and having some fun. :)

[Pudgesmom]

Cruise Line Meet and Greet:

 

Stop in a port with at least 5 other large cruise ships. Stand in a line along the dock with all other passengers and shake hands with all passengers from other ships.

 

Cost: Carnival $39

RCCL $49

HAL $59

Crystal $69

 

 

I JUST HOPE ITS A JOKE:confused: ????ITS CAN'T BE REAL:eek:

 

Just trying to get in the spirit of the OP's suggestion for worst-ever shore excursions!

 

Beth:p

[Pudgesmom]

How about:

 

Cruise Line Sales Training Experience

 

Travel by bus to a crowded Caribbean beach. Carry with you items from your cabin, such as soaps, shampoos, towels and mini-bar contents. Walk up and down the beachfront offering to sell your items to sunbathers. Don't take no for an answer!

 

Activity Level: Moderate

Danger Level: Moderate, mostly from irate tourists.

Cost: 10% of your take

[mama d]

Camel Spider Excursion

 

Join us in experiencing the thrill of a lifetime witnessing the giant Camel Spider as it races across the sands. You will be greeted in port by an open air bus with stadium style seating to transport you deep into the desert where you will get out to walk the sands in search of the elusive Camel Spider. You will be encouraged to do what we have dubbed the “Spider Dance” . While you are jumping up and down, causing vibrations that call the Camel Spider from his sandy hideaway, keep a close eye for that large creature to appear. When he does he can run at a speed of 10mph. Being a nocturnal creature he will jump from his lair and come straight at you giving you an opportunity to get a good look at him, please have your camera ready. At this point if you run he will follow you, think of the photo ops! This is a chance of a lifetime don’t let it pass you by. Intersested in what you will be seeing take a peek at this website http://www.camelspiders.net/

 

 

Oh, what a tangled web we weave .....;)

 

Sunny days and no spiders in my sand please!

[cactuslady]

Camel Spider Excursion

 

Intersested in what you will be seeing take a peek at this website http://www.camelspiders.net/

Aaaaaaaaiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: What is really scary is the link to the experts at the U of Arizona, right down the street here in Tucson. These things are local! I don't even need the shore excursion!

 

Better book a nice long crossing with plenty of sea days so I can get away and calm down.

[dakrewser]

Hey Rita, ever done the "road to Hana" on Maui?

 

I've driven the road to Hana - fortunately in a rental car! :)

 

THe best luau we've done is west of Honolulu - Paradise Cove (http://www.paradisecovehawaii.com/index.htm). Good food and a great show.

[tomc]

michmike

paradise is less than an hour from intercourse.

How do you make it last an hour??

[trubey]

tour a milking yard at a dairy farm.

 

Cows are not "cute".

 

lkt

[kryos]

tour a milking yard at a dairy farm.

 

Cows are not "cute".

Trust me, I know. You should see them scatter when a skydiver is getting ready to land in their grazing area. Anyone who has landed in a "cow paddy" knows in a special way just how cute those animals are. :)

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[tomc]

Our special Shorex is to Trubey's Family Farm where you can pet the animals and, on Thursdays, help the man from the breeding co-op start the process of life. We supply the rubber gloves and ... [censored; too much information follows]. :eek:

[babyher]

michmike How do you make it last an hour??

 

 

How do you not??????????????????? :)

 

Hmmmmm I guess my Dad was right , Everyone ain't Italian *LOL* :)