Casual dress on Formal nights

[Scrumpy]

LOL ... trust me ... from my limited experience with cruising HAL ships, if anyone had given your MIL the "stinkeye" over how she was dressed, it would have probably been someone right from these boards! :) I've found that in actual truth, most people don't give a rat's you know what about what other people are wearing (assuming, of course, those other people are not dressed just downright sloppy). People are too focused on having a good time in their own groups to worry how others are dressed. And ... isn't that the way it should be?

Why can't we all just get along is the only thing I wonder. :(

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

 

I don't think most people onboard are nearly as concerned as people on this board try to make it seem. I don't advocate purposely breaking the dress code, but why is the first reaction always to send someone to another cruiseline? I think some people are as committed to frightening people away as others are to encouraging people to experience a wonderful cruise on HAL. Me, I rave about HAL and want to share the cruiseline, but it would increase competition for cabins, wouldn't it?

 

Ah - one reason we can't get along is because people's standards and priorities are different and flexibility is often perceived as weakness. My idea of being a nice person includes the ability (actually, the DUTY) to cut a dress code offender some slack instead of immediately judging them as being lazy, rebellious, thoughtless, inconsiderate, disrespectful, etc. I have only noticed someone's clothes in the DR one time and if the guy hadn't been such a jerk, I doubt I'd have noticed his attire. This guy, even in a tux, would not be a desirable tablemate - at least not for us or the other two couples wearing pained expressions at our table. Pleasant people, regardless of clothing, are always welcome.

[nashkan]

Every cruise-line that I have been on has formal nights....WHY??...because the majority of people ENJOY them .... I LOVE them, I enjoy seeing all the people dressed, I enjoy the elegant settings, perhaps reminiscent of times gone by....of a simpler time.... I enjoy seeing women in gowns and their finery, they look radiant and so glorious!!! I make it a point to express how wonderful they look and their beauty, too often in life we do not get that opportunity.......... I can honestly say that no one has ever been offended when they were complimented and to tell someone they are stunning, I am sure they were not upset ..... I enjoy seeing my grandson (10) wear his tux ..He looks sharp and he enjoys the attention he gets, and I know he FEELS good being dressed up ..... it makes other people HAPPY to see others dressed up..... sometimes it JUST makes sense ..... I love to wear my shorts & flip-flops more then anything..... that is what I am MOST comfortable in....but sometimes you have to think BEYOND YOURSELF and think of others.....that is what I feel about formal nights.... it is NOT just YOUR night, but it is a night for others as well..... Now if you will just come up to me and tell me how handsome I am in my tux ...I will be VERY HAPPY as well !!! :) happy cruisin' Dan

[Scrumpy]

Thank You Everyone.

 

I like HAL, never will sail on NCL.

 

I also respect other passangers rights and understand all of them.

 

This will be my first cruise on a Suite and/or Balcony, so I´m thinking of spending two evenings on the balcony with my family, order dinner from room service and just relax looking for wildlife ....... well, maybe this time, I can skip packing for formal night and enjoy those nights this way.

 

I ask for THOSE THAT CHOOSE NOT TO DRESS FOR FORMAL NIGHT for some experience, notes, "will You do it again", etc.

 

I like this board a lot. Thank You.

 

Perhaps some people missed this post. Why else would posters continue to question this person's choices? If they are NOT in the DR and NOT in public areas but instead are dining PRIVATELY, their dress should not concern anyone. NO ONE WILL SEE THEM.

I have friends who have room service almost every night on a cruise. They never take formal attire. No one knows what they wear, if anything, because they are on their balcony or in their cabin. They have a lovely time with each other and that time alone together is why they are on vacation in the first place. People are different and that is okay. Really, it doesn't hurt anyone if people stay in their cabins. I had a co-worker who went on a cruise specifically to conceive a child; she had a goal and achieving that goal didn't require formalwear. Not everyone who goes on a cruise is looking to get the same things out of it. Some people are so fixated on the idea that someone might have different experiences and different desires - and somehow impose them on others - that it's like they've lost the ability to comprehend what has actually been said here.

 

You can dress casually on formal nights and be entirely within the guidelines if you aren't in public areas. People do it and have a great time as I hope the OP does. :) We missed the second formal night on our last cruise due to illness and quarantine. We still had a good time. And, I assure you we didn't dress up ;)

[herb]

I guess I don't like the idea of a cruiseline saying it's absolutely fine to dress casually and neat for dinner, but don't you dare step foot in any public areas.

[dakrewser]

I guess I don't like the idea of a cruiseline saying it's absolutely fine to dress casually and neat for dinner, but don't you dare step foot in any public areas.

 

:confused: Hotels and resorts do it - why not cruise lines?

[krewzin]

I'm curious as to what peoples thoughts are on wearing flip-flops with my tuxedo on formal nights? These aren't those cheap-type flip flops...these are the really good leather ones, dark in color.

 

I don't mind dressing for dinner but I just hate wearing shoes...so rather than attempt going barefoot I intend on donning the 'flops.' If not for that little "slapping" noise when I walk, I really doubt people would even notice.

 

Will I have a problem?

[dakrewser]

I'm curious as to what peoples thoughts are on wearing flip-flops with my tuxedo on formal nights? These aren't those cheap-type flip flops...these are the really good leather ones, dark in color.

 

I don't mind dressing for dinner but I just hate wearing shoes...so rather than attempt going barefoot I intend on donning the 'flops.' If not for that little "slapping" noise when I walk, I really doubt people would even notice.

 

Will I have a problem?

 

There's nothing in the dress code that specifies footwear AFAIK, so go barefoot. Most people, evidently, won't even notice...

[ANSalberg]

I used to think the debate over Formal Nights was at best amusing and at its worst a waste of time. My thought was "Who cares what someone ELSE chooses to wear?" UNTIL we were on a Celebrity cruise several years ago to Bermuda out of NYC. There were 2 tables in the dining room with middle-aged folks [ in case you think this sounds LIKE kids] in T-shirts/jeans -and they were none to clean either. Certainly it was none of MY business what they wore- EXCEPT they got in a FOOD FIGHT. You may think this doesn't happen - but it did; the behavior reflected the dress to the Nth degree!!!! My point is that HAL is a classy cruiseline and the rules on Formal Night are "Dress up and behave yourselves" - It certainly isn't too much to ask 1300 adults on a beautiful ship!

[Cruiseoften]

People CAN dress casually on HAL and BE WITHIN the cruiseline's dress code. Why is that so hard to understand? If someone is willing to avoid the public areas, what EXACTLY is the problem? Why is this even anyone else's concern? If they're dining on their balcony, you won't know how they are dressed - unless you lean over and look. Live and let live...

Cruiseoften - your post is needlessly insulting to the OP. What brownie points do you get for being so rude?

 

Scrumpy:

Original post -

mozart1999

 

Casual dress on Formal nights

I know that most of CC´s like to dress for formal nights and enjoy the dining room and all the atmosphere around it, but this question is for those that choose NOT to dress and NOT to go to the DR, I want to know all experiences and notes.

 

I´m going to Alaska this june and like to have a different cruise, more casual. Also I´m on an aft. corner suite on the Westerdam and dreaming of the large balcony and all the use I can get from it, like having breakfast and dinner.

 

OK, perhaps my wooden spoon comment was a bit ‘snarky’ – mozart1999, I apologize.

 

However, my reply was to the oroginal post; no mention was made of only a couple of nights. We too frequently use room service. We've even been known to never leave our cabin all day, we ask our steward to just forget about us! It’s great......stop the world for a bit and step off - what a cruise is all about to us. :)

[herb]

:confused: Hotels and resorts do it - why not cruise lines?

 

No they don't . The dress code applies to the restaurants ONLY. Not the whole hotel or resort.

[peggy1]

We went on our second HAL cruise on the Nordam April5, and we found passengers to be dressed as you would find them on any of the other ships. Nothing outlandishly formal. Not very many gowns at all. People looked nice but didn't break out the ultraformal attire, as it seemed like past posters had found to be the case. Some of the posting here seems quite on the snobby side however, when you are on board you do not experience that at all. Many men wore Sports Jackets on the second and third nights, some wore just shirts (no ties). My husband always wore a suit, but we certainly didn't care if people opted to be less formal. As long as people aren't in T-shirts and jeans, I say leave people alone. For those who suggest others should choose cruises with no formal nights, I say get over yourselves. We found the Nordam to be nothing special as a ship, the food was just barely fair. We found ourselves trying to pick out what would be the least bland and go with that. We had requested a table for two and were told my the Maitre D' that those were assigned last July! Give me a break, we have sailed about 35 times and have never had a problem getting a table for 2 when we wanted it. We did eventually get one, after we were happy where we were after 3 days, however the Maitre D acted like he went to so much trouble to get us this table. So we said goodbye to friends we had made and moved, only to sit near an obnoxious family. We were concerned about an older passenger who we had met on board. An Ambulance pulled up when we reached Grand Turk, when we inquired about her the Maitre D' said "Oh no, she didn't die, but the biggest group traveling with us was 150 people had a death and now its down to 149 and he laughed. Inappropriate response, you bet. However, the staff on the ship were wonderful, very accomodating and friendly, especially our cabin steward and Lido staff were very helpful. We saw some very elderly people struggle to get out of hot tubs , to the point that bar staff by the pool along with his wife had to strain to get him out only for the man to insist going into the other hot tub. Nightmare. An elderly man also had great difficulty getting out, so I assisted his daughter only to learn that the man had an indwelling catheter and urine bag. I don't think this was good for him or the other passengers. There were quite a few children on this cruise, and for some reason they were told they could only go to the covered Lido pool, which made it very noisy for others in there. They could have used the Aft pool, but an officer said that was the policy. Okay, the policy is to be adhered to, however one father told his son after the officer left. "If anyone says you can't use the pool, you take him by the hand and drag him to me",way to go. Great way to teach your son to respect authority and abide by the rules!. The port of Grand Turk was great, we went to Govenor's Beach, and the Marine Facility there is very nice, we would have enjoyed the pool all day long. Don't even think about going to the "town"??? There is nothing there. Sorry this has run on so long and is totally off the subject of dress as it turns out, but I started there. I have much more to say, but I'm sure there are people tearing out there hair from what I have written. There seems to be such unabashed loyalty for HAL, but I don't get it. Give me NCL. RCCL, we love the Radiance class ships. Love to cruise, but knock off the snobbery.

[RuthC]

Love to cruise, but knock off the snobbery.

What some people would call "snobbery" others would call "refinement".

[zelker]

The only thing we (as members of the formal crowd) can do is get over it and move on. After all, there are lots of problems in the world to worry about without acognizing over the guy who showed up in his bathrobe on a formal night. Look at it this way -- you'll always remember that guy but probably forget by the next night whoever was next to you in a tux.

 

Call it part of a "colourful" experience that you will recall years from now.

Well said! In fact, I will now seek out the "guy in the bathrobe" on any cruise I go on, just to have something colorful to remember! (Everyone else in black tuxes and long gowns will be remembered as the lemmings going to the sea!)

[PRINSENDAM]

No they don't . The dress code applies to the restaurants ONLY. Not the whole hotel or resort.

 

 

Herb,

 

Not true! Some hotels.... the Ritz in London for example do have a dress code in effect for the entire hotel and , for example, jeans are not allowed at any time... not even in the lobby.

 

At another hotel in London... can't remember the name unfortunately, gentlemen must wear jacket and tie all the time.... no exceptions. If you arrive at the hotel to check in without jacket and tie you will not be allowed inside the door!

 

Stephen

[Scrumpy]

Herb,

 

Not true! Some hotels.... the Ritz in London for example do have a dress code in effect for the entire hotel and , for example, jeans are not allowed at any time... not even in the lobby.

 

At another hotel in London... can't remember the name unfortunately, gentlemen must wear jacket and tie all the time.... no exceptions. If you arrive at the hotel to check in without jacket and tie you will not be allowed inside the door!

 

Stephen

 

Kind of OT, but this reminds me of something we thought was hilarious - and of course inappropriate. We'll never forget it. We stayed in a Ritz-Carlton and there was a guy barefooted in his hotel bathrobe in the lobby. I'd have thought there was at least a minimum dress code, but apparently there wasn't. Or, maybe he was too wealthy for them to intimidate.

[Scrumpy]

Cruiseoften - it's very gracious of you to apologize to the OP. When I read the first post, I assumed it was related to the specific formal nights. Not everyone would think that way, so I see the misunderstanding. Dress codes questions, even benign ones such as this, seem to ignite a fire without fail. People respond to the first post and even if there is specific clarification later, a lot of people don't see it. It's one thing to advocate jeans and tank tops in the DR on formal night and I can understand folks getting a little testy when someone posts about that. It's basically trolling. When apparently well-meaning and considerate folks get hammered, it's unfair - which is why I've stayed on the thread. Glad it's all sorted out now :)

 

I could easily stay in the cabin or on the balcony most of the time; there's nothing as peaceful and rejuvenating as the sea.

[Cruiseoften]

Thank you Scrumpy :)

 

I had another thought after posting

 

- Are Formal nights really necessary on an Alaska cruise? The weather is so variable making it necessary to pack extra sweaters, raingear, good walking shoes.hats and gloves, particularly if you are touring and even for visiting glaciers.

 

Most men have a jacket or blazer, at least one good shirt and tie {I hope ;) } and a smart pair of slacks - a suit is not really necessary. Few women bring the most exotic gown on such a trip so a tux is probably over the top.

[Scrumpy]

Cruiseoften - You're welcome.:)

 

In May, DH is taking a tux to Alaska and I will probably take one gown (unless I've "outgrown" it) and a couple of cocktail dresses. Our first trip to AK, I do not remember seeing many people in truly fancy dress, but I wasn't paying that much attention. I believe we saw a couple of furs. I had a black cocktail dress and a more formal dress, but it was not a gown. DH had a suit. We fit in fine on that trip. I thought people were dressed very nicely, but that was my main impression. If DH didn't already have a tux, we wouldn't go out of our way to get one. I bought several new things to wear in the evening, but I always go crazy shopping before vacation and I'm sure they were not strictly necessary. I will try to pay attention while we're on our cruise (5/27) and see how people are dressed.

 

It would be heavenly to avoid taking extra things to AK. Warm clothing is already so heavy. Maybe have ONE formal night instead of two? Or 2-3 informal nights where slacks and jackets would work? If they're dark, I guess they might work now. Totally not into fashion, so I wouldn't know. Is there a huge difference between a dark business suit and dark jacket and trousers? Maybe HAL will think about other options for Alaska with the weight restrictions for luggage...

[iceman93]

I have a question for the folks who've been arguing the "Dress code isn't that big of a deal" point of view. Most of you seem to graciously agree that jeans, shorts, T-shirts, tank tops, flip-flops, etc. are clearly unacceptable and you concede that they would be inappropriate in the dining room or the public areas. Where is the line drawn?

 

To some of us, the dress code is simple, clear, easy to follow, and should be strictly enforced.

 

Some others have argued that "resort casual" should be sufficient every night. Others have said that one notch below the required dress would pass muster. But these people have also stated plainly that blatantly casual attire isn't acceptable. Why is it that whatever dress code violation bothers you is wrong, while whatever dress code violation bothers me makes me snobby, stuffy, and out of touch with modern society?

[peggy1]

Only snobs would confuse the two, refinement shows in decorum not dictating what others should wear.

[Cruiseoften]

Hi Scrumpy: It's several years now since our HAL Alaska trip. We included a land tour, and visited Fairbanks, Anchorage, Dawson, Denali etc. joining the ship in Juneau for the trip back to Vancouver. We rode trains, narrow gauge and regular, articulated buses, very rickety buses, riverboats and a tiny plane to Eagle (I swear it flapped its wings!). There were of course several overnight stops and we felt sorry for many DH's struggling with too many overloaded bags - you couldn't 'park' anything enroute.

 

Our recollection is that tuxes were out numbered by dark suits, perfectly suitable with your cocktail dresses. My DH does take a dark suit, travels in blazer and dockers, packs slacks, shirts, sweaters and shorts. I don't believe I took a long gown - probably a long skirt and a couple of really dressy tops. I do know that I had a black, perfectly plain scoop neck top to wear with the long black skirt - there was method in my madness :D - I'd heard of necklaces and earrings fashioned from real Alaska gold nuggets - they're one of a kind. Believe we found it in Ketchican - it's a favorite piece to this day.

 

Enjoy your trip! Don't leave home without your binoculars!

[herb]

Herb,

 

Not true! Some hotels.... the Ritz in London for example do have a dress code in effect for the entire hotel and , for example, jeans are not allowed at any time... not even in the lobby.

 

At another hotel in London... can't remember the name unfortunately, gentlemen must wear jacket and tie all the time.... no exceptions. If you arrive at the hotel to check in without jacket and tie you will not be allowed inside the door!

 

Stephen

 

My apologies...

 

I guess I was comparing cruise ships to all-inclusive resorts. I never considered comparing a cruise vacation to a vacation at a 5 star hotel or a possible Relais & Chateau hotel.

[Scrumpy]

Cruiseoften - oh, those little tiny planes! We've been on a couple. I think we had one from Cancun to Cozumel that flapped its wings, too!!! Your trip sounds like a lot of fun - you covered a lot of ground! I am very, very fond of trains and would love to take one in AK. We are likely to do a land-based vacation in Alaska in the future; we looked at a cruisetour before we booked this cruise, but had too many time constraints this summer. Our first Alaskan cruise came about when DH told his mum we were going because he was planning to run the marathon in Anchorage. He got injured and never told her; in the meantime, she's told everyone in New Zealand how her wonderful son was taking her to Alaska. :eek: I don't think she was here more than 2 or 3 days before I had found our cruise on Maasdam. I think we booked within about three weeks of departure. I couldn't stand the thought of her going home without having been to Alaska (even though she drives me nuts and always stays too long)!:rolleyes: She's coming back in July, but I'm not allowed to tell her about this cruise because she'll be upset she missed it. I was surprised DH was interested in going back. We haven't even made the second trip yet and we are already talking about a third to get to see more of the interior.:)

 

Awesome - you struck gold! And, you know how to accessorize. Wow! I would have never thought to even look for gold. Duh! You have hit on the tricky part of formal nights for me. Some dresses are inherently dressier than others. I'm never quite sure if it's the fabric, length, cut - or if a little beadwork, even sequins is what makes the difference. I have dresses and very nice suits that I've worn to formal evening weddings, but I have only worn one of them on a cruise. If "elegant" equates to "formal", then I should be set; I just don't know if they are equivalent. The helpful salesladies have told me that I can dress things up or down with accessories, but I don't have the knack for it. It's great if they can pick out a belt or something, but they don't come along to the shoe store, the jewelry store, etc... and my hair is tragic. So, I guess I compensate by getting even dressier clothes than I probably need. About the tux, jacket, etc. - if we have to bring a garment bag anyway, I might as well fill it with clothes for both of us. DH usually travels in jeans or Dockers-type pants, but he wouldn't be caught dead with a blazer on the plane. One of those things... Excited about the tux, though. Makes no sense to me!

 

DH gave me binoculars that take pictures last weekend. Don't ask, LOL! I haven't played with them yet. I know we have two sets of binoculars already. I use one to watch wildlife around here, but the second one is MIA. I guess I better figure out the new one. It looks pretty cool, but I know nothing about either binoculars or cameras. I can point and shoot. Can't focus to save my life!

 

Thanks for the well wishes about our cruise. I think it will be even more incredible than the first one. Guess I'll stop chattering now as I've gone at least a little OT!

[kryos]

I have much more to say, but I'm sure there are people tearing out there hair from what I have written. There seems to be such unabashed loyalty for HAL, but I don't get it. Give me NCL. RCCL, we love the Radiance class ships. Love to cruise, but knock off the snobbery.

Thank you, Peggy, for an excellent and down-to-earth post. I agree 100% with your thoughts on dress. As long as people are dressed decently (no tee-shirts or jeans in the dining room), give them a break! Not everyone wants to get all gussied up just to have dinner. And, why shouldn't they be able to eat in the dining room, and be served, without having to jump through the dress code hoops to do it? Believe me, HAL is coming around on this issue. Just look at all the people who dine each night dressed casually on formal night. Believe me, if the majority of passengers were dressing to the nines and had a problem with it, the Matri 'd would be turning these people away. As it is, they walk right in, are seated, and enjoy a meal. Doesn't that tell people something?

 

As for children in the pool and the man telling his kid to swim in whatever pool he wanted ... I don't know how I feel about that. I go back and forth on that issue. On the one hand, HAL is trying to market themselves to families, and part of a family experience is to be able to swim together in the pools. On the other hand, some adults want a pool that is quiet ... and that's one generally one pool will be designated for adults only. But ... if one pool is excluded to children, that forces everyone in the remaining one. Doesn't make sense, does it? I guess the father felt that he paid his child's cruise fare, and there was no valid reason why his kid couldn't swim wherever he chose. So, in that respect, I can understand the father's instructions to his son. If a cruise line is gonna advertise itself as a "family friendly" cruise experience, then they can't exclude certain family members from age-appropriate facilities. Obviously the pools are age appropriate for children.

 

Again, thanks for your very well worded post.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[kryos]

There were 2 tables in the dining room with middle-aged folks [ in case you think this sounds LIKE kids] in T-shirts/jeans -and they were none to clean either. Certainly it was none of MY business what they wore- EXCEPT they got in a FOOD FIGHT. You may think this doesn't happen - but it did; the behavior reflected the dress to the Nth degree!!!! My point is that HAL is a classy cruiseline and the rules on Formal Night are "Dress up and behave yourselves" - It certainly isn't too much to ask 1300 adults on a beautiful ship!

I don't think there are many people here arguing that there should be SOME standard of dress ... and in my personal opinion, resort casual is fine. Resort casual does not include jeans and tee-shirts, and certainly one shouldn't be admitted to the dining room dressed that way (with the possible exception being the last night of the cruise if luggage has to be out before the dinner hour).

 

I have a feeling the behavior of the people you mention wouldn't have changed one iota ... no matter what they were wearing. They could have gotten into that food fight just as easily wearing gowns and tuxes.

 

It takes a lot more than clothes to make the man ... or the woman, for that matter.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita