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Straights attending FOD meetings

derf5585

By derf5585,
in LGBTQIA+ Cruisers

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txflyer

txflyer

Posted
Posted
Okay! I'm not sorry. These words (Breeder and Fag Tag) best describe them in the most direct manner. They certainly are not as offensive as "Homo", "F****t", "Sissy", "Queer" etc., which we all have experienced.

 

Naturally there are "Breeders" out there who are accepting but they're in the minority. If the majority had their way, you can imagine what the outcome would be (think Germany circa 1935).

 

Sorry if you (a Gay) were offended. This is a Gay board and we are talking about how we feel about "Straights" attending FOD meetings. Let's simply call the meetings "Friends of Gays" rather than "Friends of Dorothy" (and we Gays know what FOD signifies) and invite everyone.

 

Its an interesting situation to see extreme comments posted by a user that has virtually no board history, coupled with a profile that is void of any details, Further proving the brevity that comes from behind a veil of anonymity.

 

While JGarlands points are interesting to ponder, I have to admit that the majority of heterosexuals that I know are very accepting of gays although they may not agree with us on all of the issues the gay community faces.

 

Even if I was to hypothetically conclude that the majority are NOT accepting, I think its irrational (and disrespectful) to assume that majority would take us back to "germany 1935". I think that anyone that holds onto this ideal should consider a reality check. It makes me wonder what it is about ones life that would be a catalyst for such a comment. ..>>jack

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02143

02143

Posted
Posted

I agree on the troll comment. "JGarland" sounds like a name someone would pick if they wanted to troll and make gays look bad, and it's pretty unusual and ballsy for someone to come in on their first post and start telling other who can or can't post to the gay boards. I expect it's someone who's trying to stir up a fight.

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Blazerboy

Blazerboy

Posted
Posted

Malcolm, thanks for taking my jibe about the board's sexuality as just that, a joke!:D

 

There are valid points here about the desire for "safe space" etc, for the FOD meetings, and I respect the way that they were presented...at least by 01243 (think I used to know your name...I'll just call you Somerville for now....CRS is catching up with me...:o) And Malcolm, I think you make good points too!

 

As an interesting flip to this conversation, my partner and I have been accused of being elitist because, after the first FOD parties on several ships, we didn't always hang out with gay guys exclusively, but mixed with everyone. Someone even came up to me and said "so, I guess we're not good enough?" I laughed, assuming it was a joke, but he was serious...:rolleyes:

 

But I'll be bold enough to say that one of the reasons that the straight folks (men and women alike) seem to like us is that we DON'T change our behavior, and we're as comfortable with them as with "our tribe." Believe me, this took work on my part to feel comfortable, but the reward is not that I get to have straight friends, but that I feel SO much more comfortable in life with myself...(hey "life" is work, and that doesn't necessarily stop because you're on vacation...:) )

 

Guess the summation is that we should all try to be sensitive to various needs....whether it's generational, cultural, or even a personallity trait.

 

So I'll stop inviting my twenty straight friends that I cruise with to FOD parties without first explaining that not everyone will be comfortable with them, and they need to make their own decision about whether to attend or not.

 

And please don't judge me if I don't make myself exclusively available to the FOD's sailing on a particular trip! (Gee, you'd think my ego would take a break at SOME point...what's the phrase? "He's not all that and a bag of chips!")

 

And then you all can decide whether the presence of a few straights (I've NEVER seen an official FOD party with more than a few non-gays of ANY stripe) will be a risk you're willing to take to meet some nice folks. If it is too big an issue, I really would respectfully suggest that you consider, for your own happiness, a different kind of vacation. But, if you ignore my pontificating, fear not, the yenta in me will see you folded-arm in the corner, and try to draw you out....I always want people to have fun!:D

 

And you enlightened straight folks are now educated to know that you need to be sensitive to the group assembled, and know that, while many here would welcome you, some might have some issues, and then decide whether you want to attend, or just be friendly and approach folks at some other time. Heaven knows on a cruise ship, meeting people is about as difficult as saying "Hello, and where are you from?"

 

Back to the campfire...I think the s'mores are ready....

 

Andrew (I guess I feel pretty comfortable with a slightly thinner veil...as long as it doesn't clash with my outfit.)

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CindyM64

CindyM64

Posted
Posted

Andrew, your comments were right on point. As you so eloquently wrote, none of us can please all of the people all of the time no matter how hard we may try. But that doesn't mean we should ever give up....

 

Pass the s'mores, please. :p

 

Cindy

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paddy Anne

paddy Anne

Posted
Posted
Our sentiments exactly.Why would a straight person want to attend.Do I sniff a little voyerism here?

 

J.and J.

 

Well why would straights want to attend a FOD party. I can only speak from my experience. On my last cruise there were 8 of us. 5 queer and 3 of them. :D. We all did our own thing in the days and then had dinner together and partied in the night. Our FOD parties were always in the evening and so we all went together. Did my 3 straight friends had issues? Well I don't think they would have been there if they did. We just wanted to hang together.

Are they voyers? I think not. Just hanging with their friends.

cheers.

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derf5585

derf5585

Posted
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Posted
Our sentiments exactly.Why would a straight person want to attend.Do I sniff a little voyerism here?

J.and J.

 

I will repeat my original post to start this thread

 

On the NCL Dawn the FOD meeting were held in "Champiane Charlies" led by a piano player who was (how should I say it) Stereotypical gay and very out. My questions are.

Does the leader of FOD meetings have to be gay?

Do cruise lines recruit gays so they can lead FOD meetings?

Do straight applicants lie so they can get a job on a cruise ship?

 

By the way in out roll call we had a gay couple and a single gay cruiser who's partner just passed away (he and his partner were with us on our last cruise a year ago). We saw them at "Champaine Charles" and Derfette and I sat with them. As the piano player ended his gig one of the woman came up to Derfette and said she is not a Leabian. I told Derfette that we had just crashed a FOD meeting.

My questions are

Since the "meeting" was held in the open was it ok to be there?

Why would the woman announce that she was not a lesbian?

Should we not have danced?

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pnhmrk

pnhmrk

Posted
Posted
I will repeat my original post to start this thread

 

Does the leader of FOD meetings have to be gay?

 

Not all FOD meetings are hosted. (I've never been to one that was hosted) Ergo the leader doesn't have to be gay, there doesn't have to be a leader. (I'm not saying that unless the leader's gay he/she shouldn't be there)

 

Do cruise lines recruit gays so they can lead FOD meetings?

 

No - I would doubt that a recruits sexuality for FOD purposes would have a direct influence on who was recruited.

 

Do straight applicants lie so they can get a job on a cruise ship?

 

Very possibly. But a lot of homosexual applicants will lie as well. I don't think that any applicant would lie specifically to get a job hosting an FOD party - they're not important enough.

 

By the way in out roll call we had a gay couple and a single gay cruiser

 

There are lots of people who fall into the FOD band on most cruise ships. a lot don't go the FOD parties in the same way that all singles don't go to the singles parties of all the Bridge players to the Bridge parties.

 

Since the "meeting" was held in the open was it OK to be there?

 

My feeling is still that if you happened on the gathering by accident then it was perfectly OK to stay. But once you'd realised what was happening then you probably shouldn't have gone back to all the following parties.

 

Why would the woman announce that she was not a lesbian?

 

For someone to walk up to you and announce their sexuality without any previous conversation is unusual. Maybe she had got caught in the party as well and was feeling uncomfortable. (Could that be a reason why FOD parties should generally be restricted to FOD?)

 

Should we not have danced?

 

Why on earth not? It was your holiday as well.

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JGarland

JGarland

Posted
Posted
I kind of get the impression that JGarland thinks he/she is amongst a bunch of non-technologically-inclined morons, but maybe that's just me. He or she definitely seems like a troll, though.

Okay! I'm not sorry. These words (Breeder and Fag Tag) best describe them in the most direct manner. They certainly are not as offensive as "Homo", "F****t", "Sissy", "Queer" etc., which we all have experienced. (And now Troll.)

 

Naturally there are "Breeders" out there who are accepting but they're in the minority. If the majority had their way, you can imagine what the outcome would be (think Germany circa 1935). (Also the Religious Right)

 

Sorry if you (Gays) were offended. After all his is a Gay board and we are talking about how we feel about "Straights" attending FOD meetings. Let's simply call the meetings "Friends of Gays" rather than "Friends of Dorothy" (and we Gays know what FOD signifies) and invite everyone.

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paddy Anne

paddy Anne

Posted
Posted
Okay! I'm not sorry. These words (Breeder and Fag Tag) best describe them in the most direct manner. They certainly are not as offensive as "Homo", "F****t", "Sissy", "Queer" etc., which we all have experienced. (And now Troll.)

 

Naturally there are "Breeders" out there who are accepting but they're in the minority. If the majority had their way, you can imagine what the outcome would be (think Germany circa 1935). (Also the Religious Right)

 

Sorry if you (Gays) were offended. After all his is a Gay board and we are talking about how we feel about "Straights" attending FOD meetings. Let's simply call the meetings "Friends of Gays" rather than "Friends of Dorothy" (and we Gays know what FOD signifies) and invite everyone.

 

OK how about a Toronto language lesson for the year 2007. There is nothing wrong with the word QUEER. In fact we use it here to be all encompassing. Gay (which we use here in the community for men) lesbians, bi, and everyone else who doesn't fit into the afformentioned.

When asked I say I am queer. Why should I have to give any more detail.

 

JUst my thoughts as I am having coffee.

cheers,

PA

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KingsCt

KingsCt

Posted
Posted
I kind of get the impression that JGarland thinks he/she is amongst a bunch of non-technologically-inclined morons, but maybe that's just me. He or she definitely seems like a troll, though.

I'm new to the boards (just registered). After reading this Thread, sounds like

there is a lot of viciousness & name-calling. (Meow!)

 

If someone doesn't like Straights at Gay meetings, that is their opinion. And if someone wants to bring Straights to Gay meetings, so be it. Don't bother talking to them if you don't like them there.

 

Is this not a forum about Gay Travel?

 

P.S. How do I get a picture or attachment by my name?

 

Rob

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JGarland

JGarland

Posted
Posted
OK how about a Toronto language lesson for the year 2007. There is nothing wrong with the word QUEER. In fact we use it here to be all encompassing. Gay (which we use here in the community for men) lesbians, bi, and everyone else who doesn't fit into the afformentioned.

When asked I say I am queer. Why should I have to give any more detail.

 

JUst my thoughts as I am having coffee.

cheers,

PA

I don't find the word offensive when we refer to each other. I do find it and the other words very offensive if a non-gay uses them when refering to one of us. Just like the N-word or the J-word or all the others. I've used the Breeders-word, refering to Straights, often; and don't find it offensive. I too am a Breeder - be it a Gay one.

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paddy Anne

paddy Anne

Posted
Posted
I don't find the word offensive when we refer to each other. I do find it and the other words very offensive if a non-gay uses them when refering to one of us. Just like the N-word or the J-word or all the others. I've used the Breeders-word, refering to Straights, often; and don't find it offensive. I too am a Breeder - be it a Gay one.

 

I guess my point was that Queer is politically correct here in Toronto used by anybody because of it's inclusivity. There is really nothing offensive about it.

Gay here is for guys. Where you live a guess defines things.

 

I really don't like the "us" and "them" stuff with anyone.

Paddy Anne (who's still drinking my coffee")

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pnhmrk

pnhmrk

Posted
Posted
Just like the N-word or the J-word

 

The "N-word" I can get. I'm not sure why we don't use it as a word when we are using it as an example though? (Fear I guess - I haven't used it in this post because I'm unsure what the reaction would be). What is the "J-word"? On the Cunard board it signifies "Jeans" - something you wouldn't dare to wear aboard one of the Queens!

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Ephraim

Ephraim

Posted
Posted
I can only assume the J-word is Jewish? I'm Jewish, I don't mind hearing that. Though there is an associated K-word I wouldn't like to hear.

 

That K-word is really an American thing. It comes from Ellis Island and the German word for circle.

 

Getting back to topic... I have no problem with anyone who is accepting, coming to an FoD party. And I would be the first to bring our homosexually-impaired friends if we were traveling with them. In fact, we did bring them to the last FoD on the cruise, of course, we were the only ones there.

 

I do have a problem with some people being so radically exclusive to actually say something and make people feel unwelcome. Frankly, I think we should be beyond discriminating against someone on the basis of their sexual orientation. Otherwise, I'd be a hypocrite.

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derf5585

derf5585

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I can only assume the J-word is Jewish? I'm Jewish,

 

Me too

 

I thought the J-word is Jap

 

Jewish-American princess

from

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish-American_princess

 

Fagala

Yiddish word for homosexual male.

Old Jewish grandmother walks into a bar noticing all the men holding hands with other men, walks over to the bartender and says, "Fagalas?"

from

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Fagala

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