Should I expect rude comments?

[emjsea]

There was a poll on the Celebrity Cruise board and 15% said they didn't want children on their cruise at all. Most did accept them if well-behaved.

 

So 85% of the population likes well- behaved kids and 15% don't like kids at all. Sounds about right. I would question anyone who said that they like badly behaved kids or adults for that matter.

 

Not wanting children around on your vacation doesn't mean you don't like children. Contrary to the popular belief of the parents of perfectly-behaved little snowflakes :rolleyes:

[CowPrincess]

I'm childless by choice. That said, it does not mean I hate kids. What I hate are the parents of the kids who don't supervise the kids, never set boundaries, never enforce rules, and for some reason think the kids will teach themselves appropriate social behaviour at some time.

 

The area in which we live has many, many "free spirits" who feel that rules and discipline are bad for kids.

 

Believe me, it makes dining out a nightmare. On several occasions we have left a restaurant because little Johnny won't quit throwing a tantrum beside us, and little Lucy won't sit down at her table, instead flinging herself into other diners and table, while Mom and Dad ignore the goings-on, or smile indulgently, assured that everyone in the restaurant finds the kid's behaviour charming.

 

It makes going to the grocery store a trial. It makes being in any retail environment hell on earth. It is SO bad around here that before any live performances, the MC always has to announce "If you have a child with you, and your child does not behave, you and your child will be removed from the theater".

 

People don't develop the "leave the kids at home" attitude in a vacuum. The responsible parents of well-behaved children can thank the all irresponsible parents for that attitude.

 

Kids will be kids; parents need to be parents, not indulgent or disinterested or too-tired-to-care.

 

JMHO

[bethcollins]

As a mother of three (ages 14,19,23) kids who have been cruising for years I very much understand both sides of the kids debate. The worst behavior I have seen was on a two week Med cruise on Celebrity. The kids were absolutely out of control. There was actually a meeting with several passengers and the hotel director in reference to one particularly obnoxious young man. He was a terror--flipping people's loaded trays in the buffet, tripping people, pouring drinks on the carpet, etc. Had that been my first cruise, it would have been my last!

 

One slight concern, though, about the DVD players in the dining room. You do mean they are used with headphones, right? If so, I think that is a great idea. If not, I would find that to be unacceptable. Just as everyone would should my 14 yr old bring his ipod speakers to listen to some tunes at the table!

 

Beth

[ChBoxers800]

As a mom myself, and now a grandmom (of the cutest little 9 month old guy in the world who will be doing his first cruise in 2 weeks) I have absolutely ZERO tolerance for bad parents.

 

My business is school buses. Have owned and driven them for almost 30 years. And I can tell you that I love the kids, and want to say as far as possible from many of the parents. You can tell what the parents are like before you ever meet them, by the way their child not only behaves, but accepts direction and discipline.

 

It truly is not the childs fault that their parents have zero control of them. However, having said that, I have grown to be rather outspoken (inherited from my mom) and can tell you that any child that disturbs my vacation to the point that he/she is making me miserable, I will directly confront their parents. I've done it before and surprisingly, it works. Of course, the child was probably told to stay away from that grouchy woman, but it did the trick.

 

Perhaps that what more of us need to do...confront the issue (parents) head on and not let them let their children run wild while the rest of us suffer in silence because we don't want to be a complainer.

[kat89447]

I live out west with my DH and DD and every summer we fly back east to see my side of the family. My DD turns into the perfect child while traveling much to our amazement (wish it would translate to home). When she was 7 we did the Disney Land and Sea and she was the perfect child day in and out and my DH and I were just hoping that when she finally had her meltdown it would be in private. It really was unnatural how good she was. Well it finally happened as we were coming back to our cabin after dinner one night. I think she saved it all up for the event. We were so worried the neighbors would all hear and complain and make comments. The next morning this wonderful couple smiled and said they had been taking bets on if she was a "real" kid. They told my DD that they thought she was being so well behaved and were proud of her and she told them "well I held it in as long as I could but I AM only 7 and sometimes you just have to let it out." We laughed the rest of the trip, along with our neighbors and every trip since she has a pretend tantrum at the end of the day (quietly in our room, wherever we are) to "let it all out"

I find that for every comment we get over traveling with her that is negative there are 3 positive comments that have that secret wink and smile of the parent club. Cruising with multi generations is the best and most economical way to vacation especially in this world of family not living in the same city or town but all over the place. There are more alternatives to cruise where there are no children than there are to cruise with children. Families are pretty much stuck with school vacations and such. Remember we (families with children) are the majority on these cruises and alot of these itineraries would not exist if it wasn't for us.

[Cruisin thru life]

The only caution I would offer is if you little guy gets cranky or noisy, remove him from a situation that could get uncomfortable -- the dining room, for example (of course you would do that, but felt obligated to say it.)

 

I agree that this would only be common sense for most people, but today common sense seems to be fading away. On our Dec 07 cruise there was a family that had a baby around 4-5 months old. Every night about the time we sat down for dinner the baby would get cranky. The mother was VERY good at walking around and quieting the baby as to not disturb the other guests. I applaude her for that, but IMO after the second night I would have made other arrangements for the baby during the dinner hours. I can't imagine that the mother was able to enjoy her lovely meal since she spent 90% of her time in the dining room walking around.

 

Another instant I came across was on our Feb 08 cruise. We were at the past guest party seated behind a family with four children that appeared to be under the age of 4 yrs old. The children were unruly. They were whining, crying, and even some times screaming. Along with jumping on the seats and trying to run off. This again is a good time to utilize the kids clubs. It's great to take your children along, but if it's just not working out at a certain point just remove them from the situation. Save yourself from the embarrassment, and makes it easier for other guests to enjoy their time.

[kittycat_26]

I was terribly worried about how my DS who at the time was four/almost five would behave on our last cruise. He gets cranky and ill behaved particularly when he is tired and off his schedule. I knew this would happen on our trip and wasn't sure how to cope with it. (Yes, I am one of those parents that is always worried about what people would think.)

 

True to my expectations, DS was a handful and just about the time I was ready to let him be shark bait off the tail end of the boat, a couple came up and complimented me on how well DS was doing. I could have hugged them. It made me realize that he wasn't as bad as I was thinking he was.

 

In short, we're all only human. Do the best you can with what you've got and don't sweat the small stuff. Take it one day at a time and chances are you and your kids will have a wonderful time. The more worked up you are about your kid's behavior the more they are going to sense that.

[Julienatul]

I wouldn't worry about the rude comments. My DD is only 2 and she has been on 5 cruises already. Never once have we had a rude comment, stare etc. We always get compliments on how well-behaved she is and she is a normal two-year old. We stick to her schedule. We eat in the dining room every night and use a dvd player and I can only think of one time that we actually had to take her out of there. People are generally in a happy mood on a cruise. This board is not a true representation of passengers on a ship. I also find that most of the stories of the "bad kids" are taken from everyday life and not experiences they have actually had on a cruiseship. I agree parents should discipline their children and be respectfull of other passengers and the majority of parents truly are.

[reedstephstuff]

So, I'm reading all of this great info. We will be going on our 1st cruise ever in November and my sons will have just turned 2 & 5. We opted to do the 8pm dinner seating and I was wondering whether or not anyone thought this would allow us to do dinner BY 10pm when Camp Carnival switches to babysitting. I don't anticipate having every meal without them but am well aware that formal night may not work for my boys (depending on their level of fatigue)....

Sounds to me like people on a cruise handle children in the same way they do anywhere else. It amazes me how many people forgot what having young children was like or that once they were children too. I guess it's simply how you handle other peoples' ignorange and rude behavior. I do, however, feel very compelled to keep my children in control & when they are out-of that... it's time to go. Unfortunately, not all parents think this way.

I appreciate any advise about the evenings with Camp Carnival though!

[XSITD2CRUZ]

 

Not wanting children around on your vacation doesn't mean you don't like children. Contrary to the popular belief of the parents of perfectly-behaved little snowflakes :rolleyes:

 

As the mother of a very active, mischevious 4 year old who appears to think he's 14 years old, I've been on the receiving end of temper tantrums, overly loud embarrassing comments, and general mortifying moments in public places.

At a recent t-ball practice, after having spent the first 30 minutes worrying about the antics of DS and what the other parents must think, I had an epiphany when several of the other mothers started telling me how cute DS is, what a personality he has, etc. I was so focused on what others were thinking and the perception that they would have of mine and DH parenting ability, when in actuality I was sweating over it for nothing. After that, I just sat back and enjoyed the rest of practice. DS will only be 4 once so there's no point in sweating the small stuff. When he's 18 and heading off to college, the embarrassment of him proudly proclaiming that he passed gas in the middle of a silent movie theatre will only be a distant (and probably by that time funny) memory. Enjoy your time with your children because they'll only be kids for a very short while.

All that said, DH and I will be enjoying our cruise minus the pint sized tornado and I'm looking forward to being only DW for a week and not Mommy Commander!

When I've told co-workers of our cruise plans, several have said we'll be unhappy because we'll have lots of kids to deal with on Carnival, especially with it being around Spring Break.

The difference is they'll be OTHER people's children and NOT my own, therefore I'm NOT responsible :)

[ncmomof2]

OK, so the consensus seems to be that nobody really minds well-behaved, supervised kids (as long as the supervision actually results in control of problem behavior). And, in other threads, a number of you have said that you do let your 9-11 year olds check themselves in and out of the kid program and move around the ship on their own. But, it seems that it is frequently members of this age group on their own about the ship that get wild and cause problems. So, my question is, does anyone have any ideas on how to find out about misbehavior of 9-11s who are on their own so that such privileges can be revoked (or other steps can be taken)? Short of taping a "How am I acting? Call cabin XXXX." note to their back and therefore earning the "cruelest parent causing the most humiliation ever" award...;)

 

TIA for any ideas!

[brazilgirl]

NCMOM-

 

You made me chuckle,,,,I have the same question. My daughter is 10 and will be able to check herself out.

I am a bit concerned about a young girl wandering around alone on a big ship.

I don´t think she will behave terribly(she is a girl with fairly good judgement),

But ...

I now have an image of her with a sign around her neck and me with the meanest mom in the world trophy in my hands.

I don´t think there will be a lot of other kids her age because of our destination ( the Med in May).

I also have had some qualms about her safety....she is very pretty and I can´t help being a little wary of her checking herself out and wandering around alone. Are my fears unfounded?

[MTcruiser]

NCMOM-

 

You made me chuckle,,,,I have the same question. My daughter is 10 and will be able to check herself out.

I am a bit concerned about a young girl wandering around alone on a big ship.

I don´t think she will behave terribly(she is a girl with fairly good judgement),

But ...

I now have an image of her with a sign around her neck and me with the meanest mom in the world trophy in my hands.

I don´t think there will be a lot of other kids her age because of our destination ( the Med in May).

I also have had some qualms about her safety....she is very pretty and I can´t help being a little wary of her checking herself out and wandering around alone. Are my fears unfounded?

 

 

I also have a 10 year old DD. She is very well behaved...however is it possible for them not to check them selves out of the camp carnival, because i certainly do not feel comfortable with her doing that. I have been on 3 cruises, but none with kids, so im a lil paranoid.

[sailinglisa]

You don't have to allow your 9 and 10 year olds to sign themselves out of the children's programs. You can opt to have a parent (or designated person) pick them up. But, if you do let them sign themselves out, tell them in no uncertain terms that they have to find you the first thing after signing themselvs out (and you let them know where you will be at what time). If you find out that they did not do that, then you suspend their signing out priveleges for the rest of the cruise.

[MTcruiser]

:) Thank you and that is a great idea. I'm sure everything will work out fine. Thanks again.

[Nliedel]

You know I'm cruising in the fall with one of my brats and we're booking a balcony. I've seen kids in the owners suites on some cruises. Lots of families cruise in some very nice rooms. It seems like you're just anti-child altogether ditch-kitty and I too am surprised you elect to cruise and not go to an adults only place. I'm not saying you don't belong on cruises. I'm just agreeing with PattyW. You are not going to be able to escape kids on cruises, unless you're in aldults only areas all the time and I just can't figure out how you can do that.

[Onessa]

does anyone have any ideas on how to find out about misbehavior of 9-11s who are on their own so that such privileges can be revoked (or other steps can be taken)? Short of taping a "How am I acting? Call cabin XXXX." note to their back and therefore earning the "cruelest parent causing the most humiliation ever" award...

 

We've given DD (now 12YO) some flavor of independence and the personal responsiblity that comes with it on several occassions (including a few cruises over the past 2+ years).

 

We set down ground rules, let her know what they are, and make certain she understands that we are serious about them. Among the ground rules is that

a) she never leaves the club alone and

b)we meet all of her friends before she EVER leaves the kids club (now teen club) with any of them

once we've approved of her choice in friends, we enlist the friends' families for "policing" -- on our Med cruise last fall, all of the girls she hung with were terrified of doing something wrong because the one girl's older brother LOVED to tattle. There were five 12YO girls, which translated into eight parents, four grandparents, one aunt and a multitude of siblings.

c) she has specific checkin times and places.

d) She leaves a message at the cabin when her plans change -- and she knows we'll check up on her occassionally.

e) no going into anyone else's cabin (at least not without our permission and then only with one of the parents present)

etc.

 

She knows our expectations, she knows the consequences of not meeting those expectations, and knows we will follow through. She has always met, if not exceeded, our expectations (the mom of a toddler, who let us know at dinner one night that DD "chased her down" to return a toy that her child had dropped from a stroller, seeing her hold a heavy door for an older couple, hearing her ask a "height challenged" woman if she needed help serving herself a dessert in the Windjammer)

 

We've been fortunate that there have always been some good kids with which she could hang.

 

If handled well, this can be a good opportunity for your kids to learn about independence. Good luck!

 

PS Perhaps "best" is that she has very unique hair (long, thick and curly) and all of the little old ladies LOVE it. She hears complete strangers tell me "oh, I saw your daughter at the pool this morning and . . . " and while they always have been positive things, I think she knows that I would find out if she was doing anything wrong! :D

[ncmomof2]

Onessa, thank you so much for sharing your rules! They make a lot of sense and made it seem a lot more manageable. Our DD also has very distinctive hair that people (especially women) notice and remember, so hopefully that will work for us as well! ;)

[Nliedel]

I don't know. I really like the idea of pasting a sign on his back saying, "How am I acting, call cabin XXX"

 

I know he can sign himself out on our next cruise (number one), but I don't know if I want to allow that. He's usually a very thoughtful little guy and behaves in public, but all kids can go wild if put in a pack.

 

I love Onessa's rules, but I've seen kids in packs and just don't ever want to be the parent of one. It was almost easier when he was younger and we put him in the kids clubs and that was that. Now, he's old enough to know he's got options. I suppose I can tell him he will never cruise with me again, if he breaks the rules. That's a pretty big threat and I'm serious with that stuff.

[Onessa]

. . .It was almost easier when he was younger and we put him in the kids clubs and that was that. . .

 

Yes it was a lot easier when I'd put her someplace and that would be where she was when I picked her up! But it's all part of growing up. When she was 10+YO and we were on a cruise, I started to panic thinking about the fact that in about 1.5 years, she'd be in the teen club. But when we did cruise when she was actually 12YO I have to admit, she was ready for it.

 

When I was growing up we had lots of opportunities to practice our independence, but in today's society we have organized sports, book clubs, crafts clubs, scouting, park programs, etc. where the kids are organized, led and supervised by adults. Every once in a while the kids have to have the opportunity to try things on their own.

 

But if all else fails, pack the "

 

I also ask all adults out there cruising to remember that this is a learning experience for these kids. If there are 'packs' of kids on board, remeber that they are human -- if you make eye contact, greet them, treat them like other pax; they will be more likely to behave.

 

There was a group of older kids who hung out together on our last cruise. One of the girls in particular had kind of the Goeth(sp) thing going on an multiple piericings and was a bit scary at first glance. But we had met her on the way up to the teen club the first night -- she had initiated a conversation with my DD (who looks at least 14YO) and even when she found out that DD was only 12YO she was still very nice to her and to my DH and I -- it was a short elevator ride, but we now "knew" her.

 

While I observed the group getting a bit emboldened when they knew that some of the pax were intimidated by them, I could also see that when others simply acknowledged them they'd settle down. So when they "chased away" a group of four older adults simply by sitting down near them in the Windjammer one night, I wasn't surprised that their volume had gone up a bit and there was a bit of rowdy behavior going on. But when I walked past them to get an iced tea refill - I made a point of making eye contact with "April", and when she smiled and said hi, I asked her how her cruise was going, she said fine thank you and I walked on. The demeanor at the table changed - and while they were still having a good time, they were not in danger of disturbing anyone for the rest of their time there.

 

While there are obnoxious kids (and adults) anywhere you can go, given the chance most kids are genuinely good and just want to be treated with some respect and dignity. Most folks on the family cruising board are good parent and treat kids like fellow human beings. But I work with enough kids (I volunteer with the Girl Scouts, Youth-in-Government, soccer and curling, and I judge debate and forensics) to have observed the reactions of some adults to large groups of kids. Even when the adults do not mutter insults in the kids direction, most of the kids know that they are not welcome and react to that.

 

But hey, remeber to pack the "how am I behaving, call cabin xxx" t-shirt for cases when all else fails. It would be a great deterent if nothing else!

[5waldos]

Are you kidding me??? She had the nerve to berate a 6 y/o for READING?!!! I am a teacher and you should NEVER put down someone for READING. If it is rude for children to read at the table, then why do Applebee's, Bennigan's, Ruby Tuesday's and other restaurant chains give kids puzzles and coloring materials at the table. I would have LOVED to have been at your table for that meal.:rolleyes:

 

Uh...although I agree generally with your point, I'm not sure that citing restaurant chains attempts to keep the kids quiet is the best argument for allowing children to read at the table. And you aren't putting someone down for reading, you are pointing out that there are times when it is better manners to participate. However, the lecturing woman was incredibly rude, and 6 year olds should be commended for being able to amuse themselves while the adults linger over a meal.

[WineDown17]

I never cease to be amazed by the things I read on these boards.

 

I think it is wonderful that families travel together and experience vactions such as cruising toegtehr- reagrdles of the age...

 

Unfortunately, everyone comes to the table with different opinions and lenses, and just as you will find rude folks at the local grocery store, you will find them on the baords and on the cruiselines.

 

What I try to tell myself is that if anyone truly feels it is inappropriate to bring a child on a cruise, and needs to express this displeasure at seeing a family having a wonderful time, WHILE ON A CRUISE to boot.. how sad and unhappy their life must be.

 

I dont know.. I just cant find it in me to be unhappy or judgemental when experiencing a great time with my family on a cruise.. or anywhere else...life is too short to be a curmudgeon!

 

And as for the "They wont remember it".. YOU will.. and they will see pictures, and hear stories about that trip for the rest of their life.. no one remembers 100% of the things they experience in life, yet each experience shapes us into who we are...

 

And as for the retort someone made when someone said "I came on the cruise to get away from kids".. Priceless.. maybe an alternative would be to tell them that is what retirement homes are for.. not vacations!! LOL.

[GORDONCHICK]

These are some of the comments we've heard on our four cruises so far:

 

"What a nice young man!"

"Look how handsome you are in your suit!"

"Your son has wonderful manners."

"You make me miss my grandchildren!"

 

On our first cruise, DS was 3 1/2. We were on a cruise full of veterans (over Veteran's Day). They kept asking his name and he would tell them "Aaron Lawson get out of the sandbox". He honestly thought that was his whole name since he heard it every day at school. Everyone got a good laugh out of it, so he kept doing it. When they saw him in the dining room in the evenings, they said "there goes that Aaron Lawson get out of the sandbox!"

 

You may hear some rude and inappropriate comments about children, but then again, you may hear some rather delightful ones as well.