Sign for 18yr old to drink alchlol?

[bratsuzy]

Some 18 teen year old can drink But others , Don't know when to stop.

Give them the Bar bill. on a cruise ship that should do it.

[Sally Forth]

I would, but this is definitely a YMMV issue. Our kids can drink legally in Canada. Our oldest goes to school in Montreal, where legal age is 18, and the youngest in Ontario, where it's 19. I let them drink beer in Mexico, where it's legal at 16. However, I'm talking about drinking a cold beer with us at dinner, not ordering while out on their own.

 

Viv

[Sally Forth]

Oh thank goodness I never had to deal with this. Yes! I do think my son has never had a drink and he's 25yo. There are many young people these days that choose not to drink or do drugs. My son went to college and still didn't have a drink! It does happen. He's a deviant. LOL Ever hear of the "straight edge" movement?

Good for your son. That's pretty amazing.

 

Viv

[ukchris]

I did not say that. I was questioning the OP's comment that they did not want to spoil his fun andsaid that if he needed to have a drink in order to have fun things might not be that great with the lad. You need to readthe full content of the postings.

 

If I remember correctly those who went off for WW II could not drink nor vote but they did not feel abused or deprived. My how we have sliped in our value systems.

I did read the full content of the postings, yours was the second one.. The poor guy hasn't even had a drink and you sound like you have him signing up to A.A.

At the end of the day, it's up to the parent if they sign the form or not, they are the ones that know him best. I guarantee though that if he is not given the authority by his parents he will probably find a way of getting it, all he has to do is ask a 21 year old to buy it for him.

Im sure that those who went of to WW2 had a few drinks along the way too:D .

[andreamarc]

Some 18 teen year old can drink But others , Don't know when to stop.

Give them the Bar bill. on a cruise ship that should do it.

Right on Suzy, my kid is 18 and we will be leaving pretty soon. This time, I'm not sure we should put him on as an authorized person for on board charges!!!! I'm might have a heart attack at the end of the cruise, and he's bringing a friend. They can gamble too, don't forget. Not a great combo for an 18 year old on the loose. first the drinking, then the Texas Hold'em tournament. Maybe this won't be as relazxing as I thought. :eek:

[navybankerteacher]

Trying to shelter a child by banning drinking through adolescence- and hoping that (as if by magic) suddenly at age 21 he/she will responsibly handle alcohol is one of the major causes of college binge-drinking. If parents drink at home, they are teaching their children that drinking is OK -- in that case, why not teach them HOW to drink at the same time? Let them have wine (perhaps watered) at family meals from childhood on. Let them have an occasional beer at family gatherings. See how they handle it -- and make sure that you let them know that drinking to excess is NEVER acceptable. But, if your value system does not consider drinking OK, then you should try to teach them not to drink.

 

If you have never taught them how to drink, a cruise might be a good time to start --- IF YOU ARE ON THE CRUISE WITH THEM, AND MONITOR THEIR "LESSONS". If you will not be along, or are not willing to act as a guide and an influence, you would be insane to give them the green light to learn on their own in that particular nvironment.

[andreamarc]

I was worried about my son on this cruise because he hooked up with some older kids on the last cruise and was a little more out of control than I was happy about. A year later, he's more mature but the problem may still arise and of course one thinks of the "over the side" horror stories of people falling off balconies when drunk and rowdy. My solution? --- Bring the girlfriend!!!

[ukchris]

Trying to shelter a child by banning drinking through adolescence- and hoping that (as if by magic) suddenly at age 21 he/she will responsibly handle alcohol is one of the major causes of college binge-drinking. If parents drink at home, they are teaching their children that drinking is OK -- in that case, why not teach them HOW to drink at the same time? Let them have wine (perhaps watered) at family meals from childhood on. Let them have an occasional beer at family gatherings. See how they handle it -- and make sure that you let them know that drinking to excess is NEVER acceptable. But, if your value system does not consider drinking OK, then you should try to teach them not to drink.

 

If you have never taught them how to drink, a cruise might be a good time to start --- IF YOU ARE ON THE CRUISE WITH THEM, AND MONITOR THEIR "LESSONS". If you will not be along, or are not willing to act as a guide and an influence, you would be insane to give them the green light to learn on their own in that particular nvironment.

Well said, perfectly put.

[Fishbait17]

Ever hear of the "straight edge" movement?

 

Ummm, yes. Two daughters (ages 19 and 22) of a close friend are part of the "straight edge" movement, or so they claim loudly. My daughter has had to pick each of them up and take them home, so drunk they could barely walk, several times. Their parents still believe that they do not drink, nor do they have sex. I have seen them both do both, to excess! I have tried talking to the parents with and without the daughters and have lost these friends due to their denial and their daughters' lying. Needless to say, these girls are not allowed in my home anymore. But funny, their brother lives with us... and his parents think that HE is the bad one (I have seen him drink maybe a beer or two, have never seen him drunk in the 3 years he has lived here.) His best friend, who spends much time at my home, has had the same experiences with weekly binge drinking, with his parents in complete denial. Come to think of it, the WORST binge drinking teens that I know are the ones who's parents are the most strict and in denial about drinking... to this I SWEAR! BTW, I have allowed my daughters to share a glass of wine or a beer with us at home or on vacation since their mid-teens. I know they have had some "had more than I should have moments" but they have always known they can call us for a ride or help without us going nuts on them, unlike their friends. At any given time, we have at least 4 late teens/ early twenties living with us and at times have had up to 8. We have very frank, open discussions with them all, and I will say from experience that it is a VERY rare thing that a 19 year old has NOT been drunk at least once in his/her life. Two of the kids in my home were binge drinkers who no longer drink (true straight-edge) even though they are of age. Since so many kids in my home are of legal age, we all take responsibility for everyone who comes in.. Right down to taking keys from ANYONE with a drink in his/her hand (including my own elders). Young adults are going to do what they want when out of your sight, it's up to you to prepare them to be responsible about their actions, and how to handle the choices they will inevitably face. If you think they can't get hold of booze because they are underage, thats another denial.. My 20 year old's best friend has a more extensive liquor cabinet than we have.

 

As you can see, I feel VERY strongly about this subject. While its all anectdotal, I have seen strong evidence of what really goes on, despite what a parent believes. We are not the "cool parents".. We do not allow other people's children to have a beer or wine with us without their parent's permission. But we have been told that we are some of the few parents they can talk to honestly and openly, allowing us to give some important advice that many of these kids have never been offered. If you have a strong opposition to all alcohol, teach you children your values... but also prepare them for making their own decisions when they become adults... they need your guidance more than you may think.

 

Robin

[jp2001]

Here in Quebec, Canada, drinking age is 18 years old and by the time I turned 18, my parents had already tought me to drink responsibily. I was probably something like 12 years old when I was allowed to get a very little amount of wine just to taste (something like 4-5 drops, not even 1/16 of a glass). Then, a little older, I asked if I could have more and my mother would pour aobut 1/2 glass of wine for special occasions (2-3 times a year, my birthday, Christmas and maybe New Year toast). By the time I turned 18, I was drinking a full glass of wine, maybe even two for special occasions but they would not have tolerated in day-to-day basis or even every weekend. At 16-17 years old, when my group of friends started drinking, most of the people who had never the right to drink just overdrank while I was having 2 (maybe 3) beers. OK, I must admit I did drink too much on a couple of occasion over my teen years but way less than some other teens that just went wild when they discovered alcohol.

[Gone_Again]

I did not say that. I was questioning the OP's comment that they did not want to spoil his fun andsaid that if he needed to have a drink in order to have fun things might not be that great with the lad. You need to readthe full content of the postings.

 

If I remember correctly those who went off for WW II could not drink nor vote but they did not feel abused or deprived. My how we have sliped in our value systems.

 

I don't think the son NEEDS to drink to have fun. I'm very doubtful that was the point of this post.

 

If that's your thought on why people drink, then it shouldn't have anything to do with age. I'm 26 years old, and when I go on vacation, I also want to have a drink here and there. It's not because I need it to have fun, or have life problems that I should get help with, it's because I want to sit back and enjoy a nice drink. Point blank, no hidden meanings.

 

I also don't agree this has anything to do with a value system.

 

If he were to drink while in the US, it would be illegal. This is a once-in-a great-while loophole for him, that he probably wants to take advantage of. I don't blame him.

[CanadianTwosome]

I would have no problem signing it, but again, the legal drinking age here is 19, so when my daughter is 19, I will sign the form without hesitation because I would not deprive her of the same freedom of choice she has at home. My husband and I would have to discuss it if she were 18 or younger. That decision would be based on what we'd seen at home. I will be shocked if she hasn't had a few drinks by the time she's 19. I know I did. I'll go out on a limb and say most kids do. I agree with the idea that if you do sign it, he should be responsible for his own bar tab. I would even go so far as to have him 'prepay' by giving you an agreed upon amount and then monitoring it. The two of you could go together and look at the bill daily so that he is aware of the costs. As has been noted, the letter can be rescinded at any time.

[TTown Traveler]

If you have never taught them how to drink, a cruise might be a good time to start --- IF YOU ARE ON THE CRUISE WITH THEM, AND MONITOR THEIR "LESSONS". If you will not be along, or are not willing to act as a guide and an influence, you would be insane to give them the green light to learn on their own in that particular nvironment.

 

I am not against letting your teen have a few drinks on board the ship, if you feel comfortable doing so and you are there to supervise. I was on a cruise last summer that had a large number of recent high school grads. They were 'chaperoned' (not really ~ the chaperones were on the pool deck, drunk, before we left the home port!) Many had parental consent to drink, and were bought a 'beer package' prior to setting sail (allowing them to purchase a fixed number of beers over the course of the cruise.) The first several days we encountered unsupervised, drunken (and often obnoxious) teenagers regularly throughout the ship. (While the chaperones enjoyed a few too many beers & umbrella drinks around the pool deck…) Fortunately, when their beer packages ran out, so did the numbers of drunken teenagers!

[wilson9112]

Wow, the post is really close. I hear some good ideas on both sides. However, the idea of him having to pay makes a lot of sense. It is a lone opportunity for him to drink (legally)! I didn't know that I could rescind the letter. Being all said, I guess I will sign it, watch him, if he makes an error I will rescind it. I think he will be OK. I just get so worried because alcoholism runs on both sides of the family and I don't want that to happen to him. But, I don't think this one time would do it. Thanks all for your thoughts. I'm still not sure yet but this is what I'm leaning towards:D

[beth4652]

I am not against letting your teen have a few drinks on board the ship, if you feel comfortable doing so and you are there to supervise. I was on a cruise last summer that had a large number of recent high school grads. They were 'chaperoned' (not really ~ the chaperones were on the pool deck, drunk, before we left the home port!) Many had parental consent to drink, and were bought a 'beer package' prior to setting sail (allowing them to purchase a fixed number of beers over the course of the cruise.) The first several days we encountered unsupervised, drunken (and often obnoxious) teenagers regularly throughout the ship. (While the chaperones enjoyed a few too many beers & umbrella drinks around the pool deck…) Fortunately, when their beer packages ran out, so did the numbers of drunken teenagers!

 

 

This kind of situation is a result of "mob mentality." I venture to say that any one of those kids, if alone, would not have exhibited that kind of behavior. They also would have found a way to get alcohol, whether or not they had parental permission. In most cases, I believe this is also the reason many college students overindulge.

 

 

 

DH and I have seven children, the youngest of which is now 21. They have all known what alcohol tastes like before hitting 21. They have all been responsible drinkers, other than the occasional "mob mentality" college party. Even getting drunk was a lesson for them. They don't want to feel that way again.:o We have signed for them to drink onboard on more than one family cruise. I agree with the poster who said that it is a rare child who has not had alcohol before age 21.

 

It's very easy to keep tabs on how many drinks your child buys by checking your onboard account each day (or several times a day, if you think there's a problem).

 

I think it was the OP who mentioned having a drink to have fun, not the son. If you're a good enough parent to be asking this question, you are a good enough parent to be realistic about your son's maturity and ability to handle this responsibly. Go with your gut.

[Manx]

So he can sign up for the army, go to Iraq or Afghanistan and die for his country, he can get married and have children and he can drive a car but you wont let him have a beer or glass of wine??

 

This was the point I was just going to make, so well said. I am from Britain and can't understand how the 21 age limit is exceptable to the young adults of the USA.

 

We cruised with our son in the summer, he was 18 in June and we signed for him to be able to drink. This meant he could have a glass or two of wine at dinner and a couple of beers if he wanted to. It's still tightly controlled,he couldn't get more than one drink at a time; one evening he went to the bar to get a helmut of beer to bring back to our cabin for us all to share and he wasn't allowed. He was also told when he received his card that it could be withdrawn at any time if he abused it, so I imagine that bar staff keep a close eye on what they consume.

[alphakitty]

Ummm, yes. Two daughters (ages 19 and 22) of a close friend are part of the "straight edge" movement, or so they claim loudly. My daughter has had to pick each of them up and take them home, so drunk they could barely walk, several times. Their parents still believe that they do not drink, nor do they have sex. I have seen them both do both, to excess! I have tried talking to the parents with and without the daughters and have lost these friends due to their denial and their daughters' lying. Needless to say, these girls are not allowed in my home anymore. But funny, their brother lives with us... and his parents think that HE is the bad one (I have seen him drink maybe a beer or two, have never seen him drunk in the 3 years he has lived here.) His best friend, who spends much time at my home, has had the same experiences with weekly binge drinking, with his parents in complete denial. Come to think of it, the WORST binge drinking teens that I know are the ones who's parents are the most strict and in denial about drinking... to this I SWEAR! BTW, I have allowed my daughters to share a glass of wine or a beer with us at home or on vacation since their mid-teens. I know they have had some "had more than I should have moments" but they have always known they can call us for a ride or help without us going nuts on them, unlike their friends. At any given time, we have at least 4 late teens/ early twenties living with us and at times have had up to 8. We have very frank, open discussions with them all, and I will say from experience that it is a VERY rare thing that a 19 year old has NOT been drunk at least once in his/her life. Two of the kids in my home were binge drinkers who no longer drink (true straight-edge) even though they are of age. Since so many kids in my home are of legal age, we all take responsibility for everyone who comes in.. Right down to taking keys from ANYONE with a drink in his/her hand (including my own elders). Young adults are going to do what they want when out of your sight, it's up to you to prepare them to be responsible about their actions, and how to handle the choices they will inevitably face. If you think they can't get hold of booze because they are underage, thats another denial.. My 20 year old's best friend has a more extensive liquor cabinet than we have.

 

As you can see, I feel VERY strongly about this subject. While its all anectdotal, I have seen strong evidence of what really goes on, despite what a parent believes. We are not the "cool parents".. We do not allow other people's children to have a beer or wine with us without their parent's permission. But we have been told that we are some of the few parents they can talk to honestly and openly, allowing us to give some important advice that many of these kids have never been offered. If you have a strong opposition to all alcohol, teach you children your values... but also prepare them for making their own decisions when they become adults... they need your guidance more than you may think.

 

Robin

 

Robin I totally agree with the way you feel about this! :)

 

However, people can proclaim as loudly as they want, if they are drinking, they ain't "straight edge". As my son says to others who say they used to be straight edge, "If you aren't now, you never really were." I know most parents think I'm just naive for believing my son has never had a drink in his life...that's ok....I know it is true.

 

I would not allow an 18yo to drink in my home or on a cruise....to each their own. :)

[nosmothj]

Take a few seconds and think about what you just said. If he needs to drink at the age of 19 in order to have fun then he may be headed down the wrong path in life and may need outside help.

 

They can go out and KILL for there country but unable to drink?

 

Also if you have not taught for young adults any lessons yet, they likely are not going to learn them from you.

[TATAR63]

I totally agree with the comment about being 18 and serving in a war! My daughter just turned 21 so this is not an issue for us anymore.

 

We returned from a cruise last summer and found out about the policy, my daughter asked if I would have signed it and I told her yes.

[travel_lover]

First of all be realistic, kids these days are going to drink wether you allow it or not, where there's a will there's a way. Atleast he's being honest with you.

[judithdooley]

I have signed for my daughter to drink on NCL. She is a wonderful responsible kid and if she wants to be able to buy a beer or glass of wine while on vacation I see nothing wrong with that. She goes to college and drinking is rampant there. If of course she had caused me nothing but grief all of my life I probably wouldn't be bringing her on a lovely cruise vacation and wouldn't be signing for her to drink. Just my take on things

[navybankerteacher]

They can go out and KILL for there country but unable to drink?

 

Also if you have not taught for young adults any lessons yet, they likely are not going to learn them from you.

While I believe that the drinking age should be 18 (12 if accompanied by parents),it is a non-sequitor to link drinking with military service -- orthe vote, for that matter. Absolutely different skills are involved in each instance. Or, would you saythat someone old enough to pay taxes hould be ble to vote? You realize of course that a child actor must pay income taxes -- but ight not be sufficently mature toevn understand what a vote is.

[Hockey19]

We signed for my 18 yr old last year. He asked, we gave the rules and agreed. He broke the rules and got cut off. He wasn't driving (at least we figure he wouldn't be) but we gave him responsibility. He abused it and suffered the consequences. It's called growing up and lessons were learned. You know your kids best. Are you ready to be a parent if needed.

[Jeepgirl42]

So he can sign up for the army, go to Iraq or Afghanistan and die for his country, he can get married and have children and he can drive a car but you wont let him have a beer or glass of wine??

 

Excellent point! :)

 

We brought our niece with us on our last cruise (on RCCL) and she had just turned 18 - they didn't ask us to sign anything allowing her to drink (we didn't even know it was an option), and she was able to order anything (not just beer or wine) and no one even asked her age. She was with us most of the time, and a very responsible girl, so we didn't mind her having a drink. She did discover how much she liked strawberry daquiris! :)

[Hunter2]

I agree that if you son can't have fun without drinking on the ship than he is already do that sort of stuff behind your back at home. It's not a good message to send. Vacation or not you need to stick to you values and rules.