Notarized letter to bring kids without spouse?

[capriciousc]

I would always err on the side of caution and have all of the documentation, just in case. I know some posters have said that they've never been asked for the paperwork - I have always been questioned. Maybe it's luck of the draw or whatever, but every time I've taken my daughter out of the country without my husband, I've been asked for proof that I have his consent.

 

I have a good friend who has sole custody of her two children - she takes them to Japan every summer to visit family, and always brings copies of the custody agreement. She has told me she's been asked both leaving the US, and leaving Japan.

[NewSalt]

Last summer our friends cruised with their DS and DDIL, John and Mary Smith, and John and Mary's baby, Lily Smith. John's two DD's from his previous marriage, Rose and Petunia Smith (16 and 14), were also with them. Each had his/her own passport.

 

I have no idea whether or not they had a letter from the first wife authorizing John to take the girls out of the country, but is there any way in a situation like this that it would be possible for the authorities to know that two people who are traveling with children, all of whom share their last name, are not the legal guardians of all the children?

[capriciousc]

Last summer our friends cruised with their DS and DDIL, John and Mary Smith, and John and Mary's baby, Lily Smith. John's two DD's from his previous marriage, Rose and Petunia Smith (16 and 14), were also with them. Each had his/her own passport.

 

I have no idea whether or not they had a letter from the first wife authorizing John to take the girls out of the country, but is there any way in a situation like this that it would be possible for the authorities to know that two people who are traveling with children, all of whom share their last name, are not the legal guardians of all the children?

 

I guess it would depend on what shows up when they scan a child's passport - if somewhere in the digital record it names the birth parents, then perhaps it could be a problem. I would think, though, that if you have a family traveling with minor children, and there is a man and woman present who appear to be about the correct age to be the parents of the children, and they all have the same last name, no one would think to dig into the details. I think the reason I've always been asked when traveling alone with my daughter is that it's just she and I - there's no male figure present whom anyone would assume to be the father. One of my good friends has a different last name than her 6-year-old twins (she had a medical license in her name before she was married, and her patients knew her by her maiden name, so she didn't change it to her husband's name). She, her husband, and the kiddos traveled to Dominican Republic in January and they were asked for both the birth certificates and passports for the kids to verify that the two of them were in fact the kids' parents.

[JinxyB]

I thought having a passport means you don't have to travel with a BC? I'm a single parent who will be cruising with my son alone in a few weeks. He has his own passport and I have the notarized letter from his 'father.' Should I bring his BC as well?

[Kerry's Girls]

I thought having a passport means you don't have to travel with a BC? I'm a single parent who will be cruising with my son alone in a few weeks. He has his own passport and I have the notarized letter from his 'father.' Should I bring his BC as well?

 

I bring the birth certificates since that's what shows the name of the father.

 

Best,

Mia

[crusinmama06]

I thought having a passport means you don't have to travel with a BC? I'm a single parent who will be cruising with my son alone in a few weeks. He has his own passport and I have the notarized letter from his 'father.' Should I bring his BC as well?

 

It wouldn't hurt. I know I posted on this thread almost 3 years ago and the info still holds true. Since I originally posted in 2008, I was with a friend who was married but traveling alone with the kids. She was stopped getting on RCI Grandeur. Luckily I had begged her to bring the letter and all documents proving who the father was. She was allowed to board pretty quickly.

[03yrb]

So what happens in the case when the other parent is totally non-existent in the child's life and I as the parent have tried to contact the other parent via emails, phone calls and texts?

 

This is my situation. I want to be on the up and up but it's not fair for a so called father to be able to hold power of whether I can take our child out of the country or on a cruise for vacation. I don't even have an address for him as he refuses to give it to me, now for over a year.

 

What does a parent do that is in my circumstance? I can't get a letter, no way, no how. And yes he's on the birth certificate, we were married at the time she was born. Our last names are different though but they are that way on her birth certificate too.

 

I just want to take my child on a cruise for summer vacation, that's it! Now this darn letter thing has me paranoid to just board a cruise ship that is closed loop cruise.

[6rugrats]

So what happens in the case when the other parent is totally non-existent in the child's life and I as the parent have tried to contact the other parent via emails, phone calls and texts?

 

This is my situation. I want to be on the up and up but it's not fair for a so called father to be able to hold power of whether I can take our child out of the country or on a cruise for vacation. I don't even have an address for him as he refuses to give it to me, now for over a year.

 

What does a parent do that is in my circumstance? I can't get a letter, no way, no how. And yes he's on the birth certificate, we were married at the time she was born. Our last names are different though but they are that way on her birth certificate too.

 

I just want to take my child on a cruise for summer vacation, that's it! Now this darn letter thing has me paranoid to just board a cruise ship that is closed loop cruise.

 

Fair has nothing to do with it. I feel your frustration, as I deal with a similar one. It has to do with entry/exit requirements of the countries you will be visiting, and the documents required by the cruiseline to allow you to board.

 

You can risk going on the cruise without any permission letter, and you may get lucky and never get asked for one. You can file for permission to take your child on this cruise with the court (and almost every court has free family law advisors to help you), and then take this legal documentation with you on the cruise.

 

It's a PITA, but it's the way it is. You never know if you are the one who is going to be asked for this letter. If you don't have it, and you are denied boarding, you will lose all your money.

[nyer]

Here is my scenario and I hope that someone can help me. My son is divorced from his wife. They share custody of my granddaughter with the mother having physical custody. My granddaughter stays with her father for the summer.

I would like to take my granddaughter on a cruise next summer. (She does not have a passport.) Do I need a notarized letter from both parents or can I get it from just the father? My former daughter in law may be remarried by next summer which would give her a different last name from my granddaughter.

My head is swimming trying to figure out this one. If anyone knows the answer I would be very grateful.

[6rugrats]

 

I would like to take my granddaughter on a cruise next summer. (She does not have a passport.) Do I need a notarized letter from both parents or can I get it from just the father?

My head is swimming trying to figure out this one. If anyone knows the answer I would be very grateful.

 

Both parents must sign. Make sure you have a medical permission letter also.

[nyer]

Both parents must sign. Make sure you have a medical permission letter also.

 

Thanks for your quick reply. I will be sure to do that.

[bus man]

So what happens in the case when the other parent is totally non-existent in the child's life and I as the parent have tried to contact the other parent via emails, phone calls and texts?

 

This is my situation. I want to be on the up and up but it's not fair for a so called father to be able to hold power of whether I can take our child out of the country or on a cruise for vacation. I don't even have an address for him as he refuses to give it to me, now for over a year.

 

What does a parent do that is in my circumstance? I can't get a letter, no way, no how. And yes he's on the birth certificate, we were married at the time she was born. Our last names are different though but they are that way on her birth certificate too.

 

I just want to take my child on a cruise for summer vacation, that's it! Now this darn letter thing has me paranoid to just board a cruise ship that is closed loop cruise.

 

Do you have sole LEGAL custody? I'm no expert, so hopefully someone who is will chime in. But my understanding is that if you have the court order giving you sole legal custody, you can use that instead of a letter from the father.

[Onessa]

So what happens in the case when the other parent is totally non-existent in the child's life and I as the parent have tried to contact the other parent via emails, phone calls and texts?

 

This is my situation. I want to be on the up and up but it's not fair for a so called father to be able to hold power of whether I can take our child out of the country or on a cruise for vacation. I don't even have an address for him as he refuses to give it to me, now for over a year.

 

What does a parent do that is in my circumstance? I can't get a letter, no way, no how. And yes he's on the birth certificate, we were married at the time she was born. Our last names are different though but they are that way on her birth certificate too.

 

I just want to take my child on a cruise for summer vacation, that's it! Now this darn letter thing has me paranoid to just board a cruise ship that is closed loop cruise.

 

Do you have sole LEGAL custody? I'm no expert, so hopefully someone who is will chime in. But my understanding is that if you have the court order giving you sole legal custody, you can use that instead of a letter from the father.

 

Now is the time to get this matter taken care of. Legally as long as you do not have sole legal custody in all matters, your ex and/or his relationship with your child can come back to haunt you. I am not a lawyer or paralegal, but I have acted on behalf of children in a variety of situations (either as a guardian-ad-leitum or an equivelant position).

 

Running the risk of having some sort of problem with your travel plans pales in comparison to situations where your child's physical well-being, health or even life are the stakes.

 

Single mother estranged from her ex, is in an accident and is comotose -- while there are loving grandparents and aunts/uncles with whom the 6YO DD is familiar and who are more than willing to take on the temporary (or god forbid, permanent) custody of the child, the courts have to uproot the child when the father's family discovers the situation -- the father has been estranged since before the child's birth, but is on the birth certificate and thus has "rights". Social Services is duty-bound to notify the so-called father and even though the father doesn't want to be bothered with a 6YO, he is vengful enough to say he wants to take care of his DD, uproots her dumps her on his elderly parents over 1000 miles away.

 

Or the mother who "finds" religion and walks away from her family. 10 years later her 12YO DS is diagnosed with lukemia and she fights in the court for her right to have him treated based upon her religious convictions -- the kid hadn't even seen her in 6 years.

 

In both cases the custodial parent "won", but the families lost (money to lawyers, an almost unbearable situation made even more stressful, etc). If this situation concerns you, go to your lawyer now, go to court, spend the money, make your will (and living will) so that your rights and intentions are clearly known.

 

Hopefully nothing inconvenient (or horrible) will ever happen to you in regard to custody and when your child turns 18YO you'll be able to think that it was all a "waste" of money.

[beachchick]

Onessa: Thank you, thank you, thank you for using really good, yet terrible, examples of why it's so important to have things taken care of legally. We had to figuratively smack our daughter upside the head to get her to understand that when our granddaughter's father walked out, it didn't mean he lost parental rights. I had to brutally say, "Well, suppose something happens to you. That's nightmare enough. Now, suppose your ex, who wants nothing further to do with his own child, takes custody and puts her up for adoption or moves her across the country to dump her on his parents, who are not involved in her life at all. Is that really what you'd want for your beautiful and loving child? Get your butt back to court and make sure you have the only parental say in such matters." She grumped at me, even as she acknowledged that we were right to be so blunt.

 

beachchick

[03yrb]

Now is the time to get this matter taken care of. Legally as long as you do not have sole legal custody in all matters, your ex and/or his relationship with your child can come back to haunt you. I am not a lawyer or paralegal, but I have acted on behalf of children in a variety of situations (either as a guardian-ad-leitum or an equivelant position).

 

Running the risk of having some sort of problem with your travel plans pales in comparison to situations where your child's physical well-being, health or even life are the stakes.

 

Single mother estranged from her ex, is in an accident and is comotose -- while there are loving grandparents and aunts/uncles with whom the 6YO DD is familiar and who are more than willing to take on the temporary (or god forbid, permanent) custody of the child, the courts have to uproot the child when the father's family discovers the situation -- the father has been estranged since before the child's birth, but is on the birth certificate and thus has "rights". Social Services is duty-bound to notify the so-called father and even though the father doesn't want to be bothered with a 6YO, he is vengful enough to say he wants to take care of his DD, uproots her dumps her on his elderly parents over 1000 miles away.

 

Or the mother who "finds" religion and walks away from her family. 10 years later her 12YO DS is diagnosed with lukemia and she fights in the court for her right to have him treated based upon her religious convictions -- the kid hadn't even seen her in 6 years.

 

In both cases the custodial parent "won", but the families lost (money to lawyers, an almost unbearable situation made even more stressful, etc). If this situation concerns you, go to your lawyer now, go to court, spend the money, make your will (and living will) so that your rights and intentions are clearly known.

 

Hopefully nothing inconvenient (or horrible) will ever happen to you in regard to custody and when your child turns 18YO you'll be able to think that it was all a "waste" of money.

 

I agree about going back into court. That is something that's going to be for the long haul, it's not a quick fix and it certainly won't come before the timing of this vacation.

 

What you describe is always one of my biggest fears. Something like that would just break her. As much as I try to get through to him, he just won't listen to me, just doesn't care. And for someone to not care like that about their own child is very scary indeed.

 

I wish I could have sole everything in regards to her but the state won't let me have that as long as he is paying child support (which comes out of his paycheck automatically because he wouldn't give a dime if it were on his own). I spoke with a lawyer about this already. And he told me that even if we were to decided that I wanted sole everything, the state STILL wouldn't allow it, which is total BS to me. I don't like govt trying to run my life and my decisions when I know a heck of a whole lot better.

[lucigo]

My son is 8 and has been on 13 cruises, many without dad. The first time we were ever caught by this was last October in New Orleans. The man at customs told me we should have had a letter, even though I had his passport and military ID. He tried to talk to my son and ask him, is this your mom? But because my son has autism and it was a busy, overwhelming place he wasn't able to answer. Looking back I should have asked the man to say, what is your mom's name, and he might have gotten a response, however I was also, well, in the moment. Luckily he let us pass.

 

So just yesterday I contacted our PVP at Carnival and she gave me a letter to fill out and have notarized for our upcoming cruise.

[beachchick]

I agree about going back into court. That is something that's going to be for the long haul, it's not a quick fix and it certainly won't come before the timing of this vacation.

 

What you describe is always one of my biggest fears. Something like that would just break her. As much as I try to get through to him, he just won't listen to me, just doesn't care. And for someone to not care like that about their own child is very scary indeed.

 

I wish I could have sole everything in regards to her but the state won't let me have that as long as he is paying child support (which comes out of his paycheck automatically because he wouldn't give a dime if it were on his own). I spoke with a lawyer about this already. And he told me that even if we were to decided that I wanted sole everything, the state STILL wouldn't allow it, which is total BS to me. I don't like govt trying to run my life and my decisions when I know a heck of a whole lot better.

 

I understand your feeling this way, especially in light of our daughter's ex and his behavior. I ache for our daughter's pain in knowing that he didn't just abandon her, but his own child as well. What a...oops, can't write that here. But I think it should be difficult to sever parental rights. It certainly should not be allowed simply because a custodial parent decides he or she wants "sole everything" if the other parent does not agree. The non-custodial parent still has rights. If the non-custodial parent wants to sever his or her parental rights and discontinue paying child support and if the custodial parent agrees to take full responsibility financially and legally, then I do think it should be allowed. Whether it's allowed in those circumstances varies by state. Some will not allow parental rights to be severed unless it can be proven that a parent is completely unfit.

 

In your case, it could be more difficult because you were married at the time of birth. If a father does not have visitation or other rights, but still pays child support (regardless of how it is paid), then he should keep basic parental rights. Do you have sole physical and legal custody already? If you do, then copies of those papers are generally the only thing you need to bring to prove that you have the right to take your child between countries. If you do not, then I suggest you talk to your lawyer about getting a family court judge's order (or whatever is used in your court system) allowing the travel. Since you would be able to show that the father will not even give you his address and would not be willing to sign the permission letter, courts have the authority to grant permission in lieu of the standard letter.

 

I'm sorry you are in such a difficult position. Whatever you do, do not assume that you will be one of the 98% who are not required to show the letter; instead, assume you will be one of the small percentage who are required to provide it. The percentage of parent/adults who are required to provide such proof goes up substantially when the parent/adult and child have different last names. It's kind of a red flag for the agents. I don't mean to scare you, just let you know the realities. Will you be required to provide proof? Possibly. There is simply no way to know until you are actually at the port. If you are required to show proof and you don't have it and you have a "stickler" of an agent, then you could be denied boarding with no refund. That's why some of us are kind of nutty on the subject. We don't want anyone to find out the hard way that it can/does happen.

 

Best of luck getting things worked out now and for the future. I truly hope you have a wonderful cruise.

 

beachchick

[vossjemi]

My son is 8 and has been on 13 cruises, many without dad. The first time we were ever caught by this was last October in New Orleans. The man at customs told me we should have had a letter, even though I had his passport and military ID. He tried to talk to my son and ask him, is this your mom? But because my son has autism and it was a busy, overwhelming place he wasn't able to answer. Looking back I should have asked the man to say, what is your mom's name, and he might have gotten a response, however I was also, well, in the moment. Luckily he let us pass.

 

So just yesterday I contacted our PVP at Carnival and she gave me a letter to fill out and have notarized for our upcoming cruise.

 

Do you have a link to this letter? My sister will need to have her ex sign one as well. Thanks.

[irvington]

Do you have sole LEGAL custody? I'm no expert, so hopefully someone who is will chime in. But my understanding is that if you have the court order giving you sole legal custody, you can use that instead of a letter from the father.

 

My understanding was that you needed all this -- and I do it when I travel without my husband -- but I freaked out a client who had a baby, and the father, while listed on the birth certificate, was not involved. She ended up thinking I was overreacting because they didn't ask her for any of the documentation when she flew to Mexico. I do wonder if her experience was different because she was traveling with a baby that was clearly a newborn.

[lucigo]

Do you have a link to this letter? My sister will need to have her ex sign one as well. Thanks.

 

If you send me an email at my screen name (at aol.com) I will send you a copy of it.

[praline3001]

Do you know what really irks me about this rule?

 

Two years ago my ex took our son on a cruise and 2 of the ports were in Mexico. Nothing sneaky, I knew all about it and was happy my son got to go.

 

I also have sole custody of our child. Not for any conflict but my ex works out of the country...many times in Japan or Saudi Arabia. Due to this neither of us wanted me to have issues for medical or waivers, stuff like that. It was more of an emergency type care we were both concerned about.

 

My ex took him with his birth certificate and that was it. He didn't need a letter from me and I have sole custody. He was told as long as the child had the same last name there was no need for the letter.

 

Fast forward to now. We are taking my son on a closed circuit cruise. He will be turning 18 during this cruise (its his Birthday present). Not only do I need his BC but I need mine as well along with my divorce papers and my marriage certificate to my second husband and our custody papers. I also need a notarized letter from my ex. I have sole custody and was told I still need the letter!

 

Was the person I spoke to a dummy when it comes to these type of laws? Who knows but it ticked me off. I raised the boy. He has lived with me everyday since the day he was born. His father is a nice father and loves his son but due to his work was not able to spend a lot of time with him while he was growing up. IE... my son does not know his father very well.

 

With all of that, my ex was told all he needed was the BC as they have the same last name. Where as I have to go through 18 year old court papers to get everything together along with a note asking this man's permission to take MY son on a cruise.

Discrimination against women is how I see it.

 

Sorry for venting but it really ticked me off :rolleyes:

[lucigo]

With my older three kids I always brought their dad's death certificate with us. I really feel for those of you who have had to deal with trying to get paperwork due to divorce, what a mess!

[6rugrats]

Fast forward to now. We are taking my son on a closed circuit cruise. He will be turning 18 during this cruise (its his Birthday present). Not only do I need his BC but I need mine as well along with my divorce papers and my marriage certificate to my second husband and our custody papers. I also need a notarized letter from my ex. I have sole custody and was told I still need the letter!

 

Was the person I spoke to a dummy when it comes to these type of laws?

Yes. This isn't discrimination against women; it's simply to "link" you to your son, as you have different last names. They want the other documentation as "bridging" documents, showing he is your child.

 

Highly doubt you will be asked for anything, as your son will be 18 years old.

 

All you really should need is the notarized permission to travel letter and his BC or passport. If the letter gives you, with your married name, permission to take your son out-of-the country, I have no idea why you'd need your BC, your divorce papers, your custody papers, etc.

 

At least this is the last time you have to do this.

[praline3001]

Yes. This isn't discrimination against women; it's simply to "link" you to your son, as you have different last names. They want the other documentation as "bridging" documents, showing he is your child.

 

Highly doubt you will be asked for anything, as your son will be 18 years old.

 

All you really should need is the notarized permission to travel letter and his BC or passport. If the letter gives you, with your married name, permission to take your son out-of-the country, I have no idea why you'd need your BC, your divorce papers, your custody papers, etc.

 

At least this is the last time you have to do this.

 

He will be 17 when he boards so RC will consider him a minor the entire cruise.

 

I understand the name linking. I still need a letter I was told over the phone since our last names differ. My ex didn't need anything but the BC. I have sole custody and my ex was able to take him out of the country with only his BC as he is the dad and they share a last name. I can't do that. It is discrimination when 1 parent (the father) can take the child out of the country..especially if that parent does not have custody but the other parent (the mom) has to jump through loops to get the paperwork and permission from the dad to take them.

 

I don't have any issues getting this letter as my ex and I are on good terms. It just really irked me that I needed to get HIS permission and he doesn't have to get permission from me.

[vbecky]

I was very shocked by this I was never told by Carnival that I needed this letter and when I have called them I have been given two different answers. One told me I needed for my 18 year old son along with my 13 she told me the 18 year is not an adult?? Another lady from carnival told me only needed this form if divorced. I am going to have letter notarized to be safe but I think they really need to be more accurate on getting info. out there for people??