For parents of older teens

[nybumpkin]

This year and last, we've booked cruises during the week of our kids' February school break. We've already planned Carnival Glory for the break week next year; however, our oldest son would like to sign up for a college program for his senior year of high school. He would not be able to take off the week in February. DH and our son think he could handle a week at home by himself; would you let him do that? He will still be 17 (would turn 18 in June). I'm not worried about him turning the house into Party Central (he knows we'd probably find out about it before we even returned - word travels fast in our little town), but I am worried about "what-if-he-has-an-accident" type concerns. Your thoughts - "Go and don't worry" or "You've got to be out of your mind" - are most appreciated!

[SelectSys]

... but I am worried about "what-if-he-has-an-accident" type concerns. Your thoughts - "Go and don't worry" or "You've got to be out of your mind" - are most appreciated!

 

I think you need to ask yourself who could help your son if an accident occurs in your absence and what is the worst case time delay in returning home from the cruise. For example, what if your cruise has a two sea days in a row? It might take three days to get home depending when and were you get off.

 

One thing I would consider would be to potentially have a limited power of attorney or medical consent form with a nearby adult neighbor, friend, or relative to deal with any emergency on your behalf.

 

In general, I don't think the risks are too high as long as your son behaves in a mature manner and if you plan in advance to deal with emergencies.

[quincytoo]

I think you need to ask yourself who could help your son if an accident occurs in your absence and what is the worst case time delay in returning home from the cruise. For example, what if your cruise has a two sea days in a row? It might take three days to get home depending when and were you get off.

 

One thing I would consider would be to potentially have a limited power of attorney or medical consent form with a nearby adult neighbor, friend, or relative to deal with any emergency on your behalf.

 

In general, I don't think the risks are too high as long as your son behaves in a mature manner and if you plan in advance to deal with emergencies.

 

Great idea there. It is so hard to know when it is right.....we left our 17 year old alone for three days and everything was fine, well he was upset that we insisted on phoning 5 or 6 times a day, as did allthe neighbours, relatives and friends.

 

Another thing we do is leave a CC number at our vets just in case of an acident with a pet. We usually have two or three thousand as a max, but with the understanding they will try to get a hold of us should they have to up that limit.

 

Personally I would go and have a great time :)

 

This May we are leaving the baby (16 years old going on 13) with his 20 brother and the 23 year old sister is coming back to vist.

[ShelbysMom]

My parents went on a cruise when I was a sophomore in HS. My sister was a HS senior at the time, and they left us home alone. It wasn't the first time that we had been left, but probably the longest.

 

My mom had a fainting spell of some type during the trip and they were delayed a day getting home. They got word to our aunt and uncle who came over to the house and let us know what was going on and took us over to their house for dinner that night so that we weren't home alone worrying about mom.

 

So it's helpful to think of the contingencies of what you will want him to do if a problem occurs on your end, not just if there is an emergency with him.

[rebeccalouise]

I think that since your child is mature enough to sign up for a college course during his break- he is mature enough to stay home alone. I would tell your next door neighbors or a close friend to check in with him.

 

This will serve two purposes- alert the neighbors that you are going away and that they are to tell you if there was a party. And the other more obvious- your child's well- being.

 

I have a 20 year old. I have traveled alot since he turned 18. His summer jobs, girlfriends and activities interfere with him going away with Mom and little brother. I love coming back from my trips to a spotlessly clean house! I always know that means he had a party. But I benefit.

 

My neighbors have told me that there were never more than 5 cars there. So if he has a few friends over- that's fine. Just not a blow-out.

[sunrise&set]

It sounds like your son is mature enough to handle it. But I would definitely alert neighbors for peace of mind and in case of an emergency, as well as leaving someone a notarized document giving permission to treat in case of a medical emergency. I'm sure you will be leaving him very clear instructions of what you expect and the consequences if you find out he did anything wrong!! ;) We are leaving my 16 yo stepson with his Grandparents while we are away in March (he'll be 17 in April). We gave him the option of coming with us and he didn't want to!! He is not to be trusted home alone at all for reasons I can't even begin to go into. We are even taking his key away and letting neighbors know that no one should be at the house, his Grandma can go with him if he needs something. My 19 yo DD is at college but it's close by - I would trust her in a heartbeat. We've been away in the past when she was a Junior and Senior in HS and she'd come home after school but spend the night at relatives. Our neighbors will let us know if something happens and they will check on the house while we are gone.

 

When my younger sister was in HS and even a little older, my parents always came home to a spotless house with no problems!

[Mid-Age]

This may be a good test for him too so you know how far you can let him go. Just make sure you have emergency contact for him for any emergency. Neighbors is good contact and resources for you get the information who is around your house when you on vacation.

Make sure you house will not become a party house. :D

[nybumpkin]

Thanks, all for your input! If he stays home (the college program isn't definite yet), we'll give our next-door neighbor an emergency medical authorization form. She and her husband keep an eye on our house while we're away, as we do for them. I have to admit, though, that there is a very selfish part of me that wishes he'd just stick with a high school program so we can have one more family vacation before he graduates.

[Karysa]

I would also worry about the time needed to get home and I would probably book a resort vacation somewhere that I could return from ASAP if needed.

Karysa

[party-of-5-ny]

I have an "almost 17" year old, and I wouldn't have a problem leaving him.

 

You know your son best, and you wouldn't even be thinking of leaving him if you truly felt that it would be a problem.

 

I would just make sure that an adult, (neighbor, friend) would stop in, or at least call daily (just to check in).

 

You know best, follow your instinct!

[KC_fn]

Your thoughts - "Go and don't worry" or "You've got to be out of your mind" - are most appreciated!

 

Neither -- and both! Or right in the middle.

 

Your son does sound responsible and mature, so kudos to you for a job well done. But even the "best" kids can get out of hand if given enough opportunity. At the same time, this is a great chance for him to get his feet wet with a little more freedom than usual. Semi-independence sounds like a good choice for him.

 

As others have mentioned, let friends/family/neighbors know your plans -- AND (this is important) let him know that they'll be just keeping an eye on the place from a distance. But I wouldn't ask them to drop in on him unannounced or pester him with daily phone calls-- that's invasive and sends the message that you don't trust him.

 

Make sure he has the phone numbers of several people (adults) he can call in an emergency. And of course, contact info to get ahold of you in case of a real emergency.

 

Arrange for family friends (or the parents of HIS friends) to invite him for an evening several times during your absence, so that you'll know he's making contact with trusted people at intervals.

 

Also, even though internet access on a cruiseship is ridiculously expensive, this time it might be a worthwhile investment for your peace of mind, just so you can exchange a few check-in emails with him.

 

BTW, you're not selfish, and I feel for you -- my "baby" is a junior in HS now, and we won't be taking many more family vacations. :(

[abitaturbodog]

I would probably leave my 17 year old at home...heck, he'll be going to college in a few months anyway, right?

 

That being said, knowing that he'll be going to college soon and that your chances of taking a family vacation are just about gone, I think you should consider changing the dates of your cruise so that he could come along with you. Would this be possible?