Ugh - Some kids! (And their parents, too!)

[DukeFamily]

Please don't see me as a kid hater! I'm totally not - I love 'em; got a couple! This is just a teensy vent.

On our recent voyage, our dinner companions were a very nice family - mom & dad; a 16 yo daughter and 12 yo son. First night, son doesn't show for dinner. Mom says she's "not sure" if he's coming :confused: because he didn't think he'd find anything he liked on the menu! What parents let a 12 yo decide for himself he's not joining the family for dinner when he's never even SEEN the menu?! He was just off on his own - parents wern't sure where; didn't much matter.

After the first night, the kid did come to the dining room. Every single night that boy ordered a cheese pizza and a big plate of french fries! Ice cream for dessert. Mom said he was a "picky eater"! Picky eater my a$$! I told MY boys he was a STUNTED eater. Picky eaters don't like onions or brussels sprouts. This boy had never been taught to eat! I would never in a million years let my kids get away with eating like that - night after night after night.....Would you? Am I the odd one out here and I just don't know it? Could be, could be!

Then on our excursion in Progreso, we were at the Reef Yucatan resort. We were told before we got off the bus that we were to be back at the bus at 1:30. This same family is with us. Dad finds a spot in the shade. Mom goes to the beach area to drink (with me, I'll admit, but....). Teen daughter is hanging near us with my 18 year olds. Time to go and everyone gets to the bus, and......where's the son? No one knows. No one has seen him. Mom and dad go looking for him - all over the place. EVERYONE else is on the bus and ready to go. It takes more than 20 minutes to locate that kid - waaaaay down the beach. They FINALLY get on board with no apologies whatsoever. Just happy go lucky "we found him! We can leave now!" Guess they didn't hear all of the "glad you decided to join us FINALLY" remarks as they made their way down the aisle! Personally, I would have been mortified and angry as all get out at my kid and made him apologize to everyone for making them all wait! (Actually, it never WOULD have happened with one of mine - I'd have never let my kid out of my sight in a foreign place! Or, like at that resort, I knew exactly who was where and THEY knew when we were to leave!) That 20-plus minutes we all waited, could have been used souvenir shopping at the market! Geez! What IS it with some people??

End of rant - :p

[Two if by Sea]

No quarrel about the issue of showing up late for the bus. That was downright inconsiderate of his fellow passengers and called for huge apologies.

 

As for the meal issue, however -- the kid is on vacation. You don't know how he eats at home. When we're on vacation I want to let my daughter have a good time on her terms (as long as she's not bothering anybody, of course) and if that includes letting her eat whatever she wants for one week, is that really such a big deal? We know she eats well at home, so is one week of pizza and fries going to kill her?

 

As it happens on our last cruise our daughter did try a lot of new things and I was very proud of her. But I see no call to judge those who eat otherwise.

[karatemom2]

I hope you feel better now but with all due respect I don't see the Family Board as a place to come and vent about the parenting habits of others, but as a place to help families plan cruises. While I can understand the frustration of being made to wait at the end of your excursion, I can assure you it happens all the time and usually as a result of adults who choose to ignore the departure time. I have waited on fellow cruisers many a times, and while I find it disrespectful, I try not to let it ruin my mood.

 

As far as the boy's eating habits, why do you care what he eats, where he eats and when he eats? You may find his diet unacceptable, but he's not your child. Why let it be such an issue on your vacation?

 

Maybe it would be more relaxing for you if you took more of a live and let live approach and didn't get so worked up about how someone else is raising their child.

[DukeFamily]

Oh, please, Mary, it isn't that big a deal. A thousand pardons for posting here. :rolleyes: That kid's eating habits were no "issue" for me - he was just right next to me for five nights and I couldn't help but shake my head at a kid who won't even TRY something as simple as a shrimp or slice of beef. And the mom DID say that he ALWAYS eats that way.

And I was just pointing out the extreme disrespect of the kid AND the parents for even letting the incident happen at the resort. It surprised me is all.

Don't worry honey, nothing "ruined my mood", became "an issue on my vacation" and I'm far from "worked up" over how others raise their kids. Couldn't care less really.

So, carry on....

[bplazo]

My daughter is a picky eater (gets it from me). All I could get her to eat when she was young was chicken fingers, hamburgers and steak and that was about it. Now that she is older she does eat a little better.

 

I agree with you about letting the 12 year old out of you sight at a port. Wouldnt happen with me (not even on the ship unless in the kids club. It was also rude to keep everyon waiting.

[6rugrats]

Oh, please, Mary, it isn't that big a deal. A thousand pardons for posting here. :rolleyes: That kid's eating habits were no "issue" for me - he was just right next to me for five nights and I couldn't help but shake my head at a kid who won't even TRY something as simple as a shrimp or slice of beef. And the mom DID say that he ALWAYS eats that way.

 

And I was just pointing out the extreme disrespect of the kid AND the parents for even letting the incident happen at the resort. It surprised me is all.

 

Don't worry honey, nothing "ruined my mood", became "an issue on my vacation" and I'm far from "worked up" over how others raise their kids. Couldn't care less really.

 

So, carry on....

 

What? Of course you cared and of course this was an issue, or you wouldn't have bothered to post.

 

What is it with some people? They are totally thoughtless and inconsiderate and have that entitlement mentality. Can't avoid them, can't change them, so you just have to learn to live with them.

[Guest carlogesualdo]

Do consider that most of what's on the menu in the dining room is kinda on the fancy side. For a picky eater, it makes it very difficult to find something edible because there's always some ingredient making this dish or that one unappetizing. I was that picky as a child. I'm still a bit picky, so while I don't have as much trouble finding an entrée, I still have trouble with fancy desserts. And some of that is not so much a taste problem as it is a texture problem. So don't be too hard on the kid. He'll outgrow his eating habits eventually, but I'm guessing he probably does eat better at home than what you saw there in the dining room.

[reallyitsmema]

I could care less what someone else's child is eating on a cruise. I have a somewhat picky son but as he has gotten older he is more open to new things. He didn't see any meal that was appealing on one night of our recent cruise and asked for the pasta of the night with the herb chicken from the alternate menu on top. The kitchen had no problem with his special request. Maybe this family didn't know they could ask for what would have made him happy. Maybe pizza and fries is all he likes. Better to chose your battles than have a fight over food at every dinner.

 

As far as the excursion, this family was very irresponsible. Luckily they found the child safe and sound. Unfortunately, you are at the mercy of others when you don't book private excursions. Sometimes it is worth the extra money to control you own destiny.

[crusinmama06]

I have a picky eater who ordered raviolis for 7 nights on a ship. ;)

 

My youngest is the adventurous one. We raised them both the same way. One just doesn't eat like the other.

 

As far as not knowing where the 12 year old is :eek: That's just irresponsible in every sense of the word.

[mcfam5]

We also have a picky eater and one that is willing to try anything atleast once (and usually ends up liking it).

 

Not to start a debate, but these sorts of things are why I liking dining as a family as opposed to a larger table setting. (Unless we are traveling with other people). Again, no debate required ~ just how we feel!

[lovesublime]

[quote=6rugrats;15301899]What? Of course you cared and of course this was an issue, or you wouldn't have bothered to post.

What is it with some people? They are totally thoughtless and inconsiderate and have that entitlement mentality. Can't avoid them, can't change them, so you just have to learn to live with them.

Oh, I don't really think Duke really does care what the kid ate. But if she/he is anything like me; then it's hard to not notice bad parenting. I hate to admit it, but my youngest sister is a bad parent. She has three children ages 14 y/o to 2 y/o and they are extremely difficult to feed. The older daughter spends weekends and a lot of time at our house and I struggle to come up with somthing healthy she will eat (she has a weight problem) when I'm cooking. Her kids were never taught how to eat properly and as a result they eat no meat, salad, vegetables or fruit. They pretty much live on Kraft blue box and canned soups with a lot of chips, cookies and junk food thrown in.

It's this bad. I normally do Thanksgiving (my mom gave up cooking years ago) and I'll have a lavish spread of food-everything from turkey, dressing, au gratin potatos that I make from scratch, green beans, a corn casserole, carrots etc. Inevitably, my sister ends up in my kitchen, in my way, heating up chicken noodle soup and frozen pizza ON THANKSGIVING! for her kids. My sister has no parenting skills at all. She refuses to listen to us more evolved parents here. I guess my point is that it's easy to spot and observe bad parenting and to me that's all Duke was trying to say. Sorry, and didn't mean to to offend anyone. I recognize that all kids at times do eat pizza and fries and there is nothing wrong with that.

[DukeFamily]

[quote=6rugrats;15301899]What? Of course you cared and of course this was an issue, or you wouldn't have bothered to post.

 

What is it with some people? They are totally thoughtless and inconsiderate and have that entitlement mentality. Can't avoid them, can't change them, so you just have to learn to live with them.

 

Oh, I don't really think Duke really does care what the kid ate. But if she/he is anything like me; then it's hard to not notice bad parenting.

 

I guess my point is that it's easy to spot and observe bad parenting and to me that's all Duke was trying to say. Sorry, and didn't mean to to offend anyone.

 

Thank you! And, you're right - it was just an impossible to miss observation - not an "issue" for me! My observation, however, seems to be an "issue" for others! :cool:

[dolphinwyo]

The family sitting with us in the dining room on our last cruise insisted their kids order something from every category off the adult menu, insisting to me (without me asking) that their kids would not eat off the kids menu - too much garbage. We had kids the same age (3, 6). Well, every night my kids would order off the kids menu (but would eat a variety, and I ordered a fruit plate appetizer....:p ), and their kids ordered all the courses off of the adult menu - and never ate any of it. They would push it around and waste a ton of food each meal. The parents also complained the entire trip about how they hated Carnival, but it was all they could afford. Hopefully next time we will have more pleasant tablemates. Didn't ruin our vacation - I just smiled while my kids ate happily from the kids menu - full tummies equal happy kids!

I agree they should have made the teen apologize to the waiting bus!

[DukeFamily]

My boys tried all kinds of things they'd never eaten before. Most they liked to some degree; some they loved; some they'll never touch again on a dare! My 14 yo ordered the hickory smoked salmon appetizer. Comes rolled up around a cream cheese & chive center and presented on a jellied tomato concoction. He took one bite of the salmon & cream cheese and I tell you it took everything he had to get it down! It was so funny - the look on his face! He was a trooper though. Now he knows he doesn't like it though!

[lovesublime]

Oh, I don't really think Duke really does care what the kid ate. But if she/he is anything like me; then it's hard to not notice bad parenting.

 

I guess my point is that it's easy to spot and observe bad parenting and to me that's all Duke was trying to say. Sorry, and didn't mean to to offend anyone.

 

Thank you! And, you're right - it was just an impossible to miss observation - not an "issue" for me! My observation, however, seems to be an "issue" for others! :cool:

 

 

You're welcome:) and you're right!

[karatemom2]

Thank you! And, you're right - it was just an impossible to miss observation - not an "issue" for me! My observation, however, seems to be an "issue" for others! :cool:

 

 

You're welcome:) and you're right!

 

 

Since I feel as though these comments are directed at me I guess I should respond. I didn't mean to be unduly harsh, but parenting is a hard enough job without feeling like you are constantly being judged by fellow parents. Everyone makes mistakes raising kids and there is no such thing as a perfect parent. I just think that some parents are pretty quick to throw stones when they find someone with a different parenting style which I think is unfair.

 

And the OP pointed out in her review that she really enjoyed her tablemates so I can't imagine they were that bad as people, even if she didn't agree with their approach to parenting. I agree that it was not a great idea to let a teen roam so far away on the excursion, but thankfully all was well in the end. I guess it just seemed to me that the OP was being a bit harsh. I apologize if I caused offense with my response.

[CanadianTwosome]

I think this is an entirely appropriate forum to vent about an irresponsible family. We spend lots of time talking about 'kid haters' and the irresponsible parents that lead to misbehaving, disruptive kids... so why not have an example of how poor parenting can lead to things like a 20 minute delay with no apology?

 

I agree with Duke regarding allowing a 12 year old to be out of sight in a foreign country. If my daughter had disappeared while we were in Progreso I would have had a heart attack. No way in h-e-doubletoothpicks she'd be wandering off, nor would she ever affect others and not apologize. Clearly, though, these parents aren't big on 'respect'.

 

As for the dining issues... What I read here is not simply parents allowing their child to 'have fun on vacation'. Based on the rest of the post, I seriously doubt the child eats any better at home. Worse than allowing him to eat basically nothing but carbs, though, is the idea that they let him wander unsupervised - not only in a foreign port, but on the ship as well. This family is a prime example of why people feel justified in making derogatory remarks about kids. I wonder what he was doing that first evening while his family was at dinner... and how many other passengers were wishing he was there with them. :cool:

[karatemom2]

I think this is an entirely appropriate forum to vent about an irresponsible family. We spend lots of time talking about 'kid haters' and the irresponsible parents that lead to misbehaving, disruptive kids... so why not have an example of how poor parenting can lead to things like a 20 minute delay with no apology?

 

:cool:

 

My perspective about the Family Board is that it is sort of a safe haven for parents who are cruising with children to find other supportive parents and great information. When I see parents being attacked on other boards, I have always referred them here as I usually find it a place where parents can find a positive vibe about Family cruising. That's why this post bothers me a bit. Regardless of how you parent your children, there is always someone who will disagree. It just seems like picking on things like what a child eats and how he is allowed to spend his time on a family cruise is somewhat counterproductive.

 

I do absolutely agree that it is not a good idea to allow even a teen to roam unsupervised in a foreign country. But I don't see anything wrong about a 12 year old having some freedom on a cruise ship to do things on his own. Maybe there was another activity he preferred over dinner the first night. And as far as what he eats, whether you agree or not, it really is up to his parents to decide what is OK.

 

For the record, my kids order off the adult menu for dinner and like all sorts of food, but they love pizza and ice cream for lunch. And when they had the Chocolate Buffet onboard at 11:30 a.m., I let them eat all chocolate desserts for lunch. My 8 year old daughter is never unsupervised, but my son has been allowed some level of increasing freedom on our cruises since he was 12. Since he has consistently proven himself trustworthy he is rewarded with the opportunity to spend time with his friends at the teen club and other activities onboard. I would never let either of my kids out of my sight in a foreign country. I'm sure I do things differently then others and that some would disagree, but I would hope we could all try to be supportive of each other and not be so quick to label someone a bad parent because they had one bad moment or because they raise their children differently then we do.

[soccerATAmom]

I have two picky eaters - 15 and 9. When they were small they would eat anything as they have gotten older they won't. There father won't go outside the box on food and they seem to be following his lead. I refuse to make food an issue though. I cook one dinner each evening and they either eat or they don't is about as far as I will go with it.

 

For our cruise they each have to try one new thing they have never tried before at dinner - don't have to like it, just have to ty it and it is thier choice what they try. I am sure they will end up taking a small bite to quiet mom and then eat what they like. I hope this won't offend anyone at our table...but if it does, I will not make it my problem. I do hope the people we will be dining with are open and that there are other families at our table. My kids really enjoy meeting people, both kids and adults and are able to engage in appropriate, meaningful conversation with both - maybe that will out-weigh their terrible eating preferences. They also have good table manners so while they are eating only mac/cheese they will be mannerly about it:D

 

I am allowing my children some freedom while on the boat. I was told that this is fairly common as there are many activities available to them but from what I am reading here, maybe I should rethink this - especially for the younger one.

 

My rules - We will eat breakfast and dinner together each day. I must know where you will be and you will know where I will be. When we are on shore we stay together. Finally, respect yourself and those around you "Don't embarass yourself or your family"

[Julienatul]

I agree with you, inconsiderate to make all those people late at the beach. I never would let my child alone in a foreign country either even as teenagers. Too many what ifs. I would have been beside myself in tears as a parent who could not find my child when it was time to leave. That deserved an apology to everyone and the child is the one who should apologise.

 

Although I have to say as for the dining room meals, we treat vacations sort of as a treat so if my DD wants to eat pizza and ice cream all the time, I allow it because its not how we eat at home. Vacations are meant to splurge and get away from the norm. Of course my DD is only 2 right now so pizza is a staple in her diet. I would hope as she grows older she would venture out more and try new things such as lobster etc but if she didnt thats ok too. She will grow up all too fast and become and adult where Im sure she will try new things but for now I am just going to let her be a kid. Also I would rather sit with a family where everyone is happy and enjoying their food rather than listening to a parent struggle with their child over what they should eat.

[linda_22003]

The parents also complained the entire trip about how they hated Carnival, but it was all they could afford.

 

I wasn't aware that a vacation HAD to be a cruise. Another type might have suited them better, if Carnival was "all they could afford".

[PattyW]

Personally, I would not have even noticed the dining issue.

 

I'm fairly certain that my children at the same children's menu entree at least 5 out of seven nights on our last cruise.

[Catrin]

I can recite it in my sleep.....

 

my 9 yr old has the SAME thing every night.... Shrimp Coctail, Plain Pasta with Cheese, Sprite and Jello.... until it is Lobster Bisque night, then he wants 10 bowls of that!

 

Does that make me a bad mom? No, just a mom of a very plain eater.

 

My other son has slowly ventured into the world of the adult menu... but will sometimes find Pizza just much more appealing!

 

 

 

The other issue of a parent leaving thier kid alone in a foriegn island.... never never never!! You are right, some people just dont have a clue.

 

Catrin

[CanadianTwosome]

My perspective about the Family Board is that it is sort of a safe haven for parents who are cruising with children to find other supportive parents and great information. When I see parents being attacked on other boards, I have always referred them here as I usually find it a place where parents can find a positive vibe about Family cruising. That's why this post bothers me a bit. Regardless of how you parent your children, there is always someone who will disagree. It just seems like picking on things like what a child eats and how he is allowed to spend his time on a family cruise is somewhat counterproductive.

 

I do absolutely agree that it is not a good idea to allow even a teen to roam unsupervised in a foreign country. But I don't see anything wrong about a 12 year old having some freedom on a cruise ship to do things on his own. Maybe there was another activity he preferred over dinner the first night. And as far as what he eats, whether you agree or not, it really is up to his parents to decide what is OK.

 

For the record, my kids order off the adult menu for dinner and like all sorts of food, but they love pizza and ice cream for lunch. And when they had the Chocolate Buffet onboard at 11:30 a.m., I let them eat all chocolate desserts for lunch. My 8 year old daughter is never unsupervised, but my son has been allowed some level of increasing freedom on our cruises since he was 12. Since he has consistently proven himself trustworthy he is rewarded with the opportunity to spend time with his friends at the teen club and other activities onboard. I would never let either of my kids out of my sight in a foreign country. I'm sure I do things differently then others and that some would disagree, but I would hope we could all try to be supportive of each other and not be so quick to label someone a bad parent because they had one bad moment or because they raise their children differently then we do.

 

I understand your perspective, and generally I agree, especially about not labelling someone a 'bad parent' simply because their methods differ from mine. However, the parents described were not just allowing their son 'some freedom' - they didn't know where he was or what he was doing, and apparently didn't care. Whether I think that is bad parenting or not, I definitely believe it's disrespectful to other cruisers. Our daughter, who was nine at the time of our last cruise, is allowed a certain amount of freedom as well - we allow her to do some things by herself as long as we know where she's going and what she's doing, and we always make sure that there is a time set for her to return. She spends most of her time in the kids' program anyway, so it's not really an issue. You and I, and most of the posters on this board, are here because we CARE about how our children behave and how they affect our fellow cruisers. Our children behave well because we expect it and have taken the time and effort to teach them. Setting limits for your child out of respect for fellow cruisers, in my opinion, has less to do with parenting and more to do with 'sharing the trip'.

 

As for the food choices, it's their kid. As I was saying, nutrition aside, it's the apparent lack of worry for their child in general that I thought most troubling. I think the point of the reference to what he was eating was that the parents just did not appear to put any effort into 'parenting' this child. They had no idea where he was and didn't care - both on the ship and in Mexico (every time I think about that I get a sick feeling in my stomach), through their lack of attention, they allowed him to negatively affect everyone on the tour without any apparent reprimand or apology (both the child AND the parents showed blatant disrespect for others), and they let him order whatever he wanted without comment. Certainly there are a lot of kids in the world who are genuinely picky eaters and whose parents are happy just to see them swallow something; I just don't think that's the case here based on the ENTIRE post. The point of the post, as I perceive it, is that this was a prime example of the type of parents whose kids upset people, and all of the things described - including the child's eating habits - are part of the bigger picture.

[chriscruise]

Your description of this boy makes me wonder if there were other issues involved, such as a mild aspergers, or other developmental aspects. I am familiar with some kids with developmental issues that appear pretty normal. But their parents choose their battles very carefully so as not to set off an over sensetive child. Many times parents don't really know how to handle the embarassing/inconsiderate situation like being late for the tour bus, and they will laugh it off because they don't know what to do. It is hard to watch.

Last spring break we did a land vacation on St. Thomas. We did a day sail on a keel boat with several cruise passengers including a family who happened to live close to us, and had two teen boys. At first my teen daughter and her friend tried to talk to them and discovered quickly they just had no social skills. The captain had to repeatedly tell them to hold on when they walked around. The captain had also told all of us not to touch anything that wasn't metal or wood (ie: ropes, strings, etc.) The one boy proceeded to untie a string the captain had tied to watch the wind direction and then he used it to wrap his brother's wrists together. The captain put two and two together and called the boy on it. The mom just said to the younger brother, "Why do you let your brother do that to you?" We had to wait for them as they continued to snorkel after we were called back to the boat. We all had some great laughs after the sail remembering all the odd things these kids did. They also had a very young brother who obviously had issues with food textures and behavior...he was a pale red head who refused sun screen...hmmm. It was hard to know what came first, the kids' behavior or the parents' nonreaction to it all. Seriously, after the captain had to speak once to my kid, they'd get a reaction from me. Of course, my kids were perfect, so needed no such talking to ;) . I remember in our discussion, our family agreed that we were glad that we didn't have to sit at dinner with this family. We wondered what their tablemates thought of them. I think the op is probably pretty close.