Cruise rules for 13 year old girl

[Southernbelle73]

What type of ground rules do you lay out for a 13 year old girl on a cruise? I want to make sure that I cover all safety concerns, etc....

[katiel53]

My first rule would be to NEVER go to someone else's cabin or invite anyone to your cabin without checking with you first.

 

I wouldn't let a 13 roam all over the ship late night. I would want to know where she is and with whom. I also wouldn't let her stay up later than we would, lol.

 

As much as I hate them, I think a walkie-talkie or better yet, rent the dect phones from RCI so you can call and check up whenever you want. I would also check to be sure she is where she says she is.

 

Even though your daughter is probably mature, well-behaved etc. things change when there is a group mentality. Allow her some privileges and if she takes advantage of you etc., ground her forever, lol.

 

Enjoy.

[Lowie]

my 13 year old is not allowed to wander the ship alone. if she meets a nice group of kids in the kids club then they can go swimming together or to dinner alone one night. she is NOT allowed in anyone's cabins, nor to invite anyone into ours. she is not allowed to play in the elevators. we like to have dinner together as much as we can, except like i said one night she can do something in a group. we do not give her charging priviledges although i believe you can set a spending limit for kids on their ID card.

 

don't forget to be very specific with her about things that you don't encounter normally.. no climbing on railings, no throwing ANYTHING overboard, no going anywhere alone with crew members/strangers. have check in times/places and bring post-it notes to leave for each other in case you get separated.

[CanadianTwosome]

I think the most important rules for a 13 year old are ones that she should be aware of ALL the time, no matter where she is. There are rules about strangers and safety that should just be ingrained, and carrying them over to a cruise is a big first step.

 

One of the biggest ideas that I think it's important to get across to any child is that just because someone is friendly doesn't make them a friend. Now, that sounds a lot like 'don't talk to strangers', but when you're on a holiday, it's natural for people to strike up conversations with others, and especially kids (if they like them). They're also going to be meeting other kids in the Kid's Crew or Teen Club, and if they're 'normal' kids, they're probably going to trust them immediately. There is also the human tendency to perceive others in the same situation as us as being similar to us... but just because the fellow down the corridor is also on holiday doesn't mean we really have anything in common with him - or that we know him at all; hence we don't go anywhere private with him, especially his cabin. The bottom line is that if you've only known someone less than a week, you don't really know them. Following from that is 'don't go off with them', 'don't go in their cabin', 'don't take drinks from them', and everything else that we know about strangers - because that's what they are.

 

We also travel with walkie talkies. We don't use them constantly; in January I think we maybe used them about three times over the course of the week. They're definitely nice to have when you have a child that you're comfortable not being with 24/7. In our case, our daughter needs to be signed in and out of the Kid's Crew, so we didn't worry about her wandering off without us knowing, but she carried her radio in case she wanted to leave early (ha ha ha). She never used it for that, of course, but she did call us a few times from the cabin later at night when we were off being adults and she was tucked in with a movie. I believe all three times were so she could order room service, and my husband went and waited with her each time until it was delivered. The crew are strangers, too. (I actually feel very secure about the crew, but it's just never a good idea to have a child alone answer a door).

 

Our daughter met a great girl her age on our Dream cruise when she was 8. The two of them were like siamese twins, but weren't really old enough to do anything without an adult, other than maybe watch a movie in one of our cabins. As she gets older, though, if she meets some kids and introduces them to us, and we feel comfortable with them, we will be fine with her hanging out with them in public areas, swimming, eating, attending shows... anything they enjoy as long as they behave well and don't go anywhere 'private'. We will also expect a check in whenever there is a change of venue, so that we know where she is at all times.

 

Really, it's no different than home. Stay safe, be aware, don't trust people you don't know to care about your safety and well being. Never EVER think 'they wouldn't do that...', because some would, and DO. Keep in touch, respect others. The big difference is the 'fantasy' world of the ship. It's just easy to make a poor choice because kids don't really 'believe' in danger even when they're at home... on holiday, it's positively unthinkable! Except it's not. That's the part you have to convince them of. :)

[SelectSys]

We are probably on the permissive end of this question so take my response with a "grain of salt". Our rules on our last cruise (my daughter was 14 at the time) were as follows:

• No going in cabins without meeting the other kids and/or their parents
  
• No being out alone at night without being with their sibling or another kid that we have met
  
• In the cabin prior to the ship's curfew
  
• Spend time as a family every day including every breakfast and dinner + most shore excursions or onboard activities
  
• Check in throughout the day during "at sea" days

My daughter has made friends on the cruise from all over that she keeps in touch with on a regular basis.

[thunderbird1]

I've been researching this same issue, as my dd will be 12 on our next cruise, so I don't have too many tips. One good one, though, was along the lines of don't take drinks from anyone--even if you get a drink for yourself, if you set it down and leave it unattended, toss it and get a new one. It's the main reason I'm thinking the unlimited soda card would be a wise investment for her.

[yvqchick]

thunderbird1 - I couldn't agree more about the drinks, I have been telling my DD14 about this for a while now (mostly in regards to parties when she is older...never too early to start) but I will be sure to reinforce it prior to our cruise next Feb.

We took our DD last year on her 1st cruise and I thought about walkie-talkies but didn't take them - didn't miss them.

She pretty much hung around with us the whole time and wasn't interested in the kids activities. Next time maybe she will find someone her age to chum around with but last time everything was new and exciting and she just enjoyed being on the cruise.

I think she even thought Mom and Dad were cool for the whole week!

[lovesublime]

We recently cruised with my 12 year old niece. Her parents keep her on a short leash at home and it did not differ on the ship. She simply was not allowed out of sight period. She absolutely had to be with one of us or one of her parents at all times. She did not participate, nor did she want to, in any of the kids activities. She did everything with the family. She was not even allowed to wander the Lido buffet unescorted. There are weirdos everywhere and there's plenty of them on cruise ships. I should note that she is an only child and is mature. She prefers the company of adults.

[oavcech95]

I think, that you just need to follow basic rules about cabins. Its good to know where she is, but please if she want to go to see a little bit around alone, whats the problem, is secure but if you dont trust your daughter well use other things. :)

[happy1]

Cruises are great times to have discussions about safety - and the environment is one where they'll be more receptive than when they're at home. For example, my 13 year old daughter liked to go up at night to the pool deck to get an ice cream cone before bed. She was willing to "listen" to all the safety rules in order to obtain this privledge. The sense of independence she gained from taking the stairs herself (or with her brother once he caught on to this "fun" too) is one of her favorite "memories" of the cruise.

[Onessa]

Our family's list (DD was 12YO on our last cruise and will be 13YO for our next one):

1. Stay in groups in public places that are open to your age group.
   
2. Walk around the ship with your kid -- point out the bars, the gym, the solarium areas that have age limits that he does not meet. Point out places that are 'ok' -- game room, sports areas, library, teen club.
   
3. Do not go into any other person's cabin.
   
4. When in our cabin alone, do not open the door for anyone, including friends or ship's crew.
   
5. Follow the system of notes and check-in times/places.
   
6. Everyone should be writing down where they are and post a reminder of when and where everyone is to meet.
   
7. Follow the curfew
   
8. Have extra check-in times during the evening or if the ship is in-port but you all are on-board (under-aged kids aren't supposed to be able to leave the ship without a parent, but . . . .)
   
9. Set daily and cruise-long limits to $$ on set sail pass(or equivalent). Your kid is responsible for staying on budget. (But monitor all of your accounts daily.)
   
10. Do not drink anything that you did not see poured or eat anything that you did not get yourself.
    
11. Do not drink or eat anything that was out of your control or sight for any period of time. There are bad people out there and there are people out there with really strange (and dangerous) ideas of what might be funny.
    
12. Floors are for walking upon/standing upon. Chairs, tables, railings, etc are not. Do not climb onto / stand upon anything that is not designed to be stood upon. Do not climb onto / stand upon anything that is a restricted area.
    
13. Elevators and stairways are designed to get people from one deck to another. Do not use them as an entertainment devices and/or gathering place.
    
14. You may go to the show with your friends (age appropriate) when at least one parent accompany you (the parent may agree to sit in the row behind them and tries to be inconspicuous!)
    
15. All the rules must be followed and there will be immediate and real consequences if they are not!
    

Let your kid know that they can and should invoke you (the parent) as the “bad guy” in order to get out of any situation that's uncomfortable or unpleasant. ("Omigosh, I gotta meet my mom in 3 minutes! Gotta go!")

Set some rules, let them know that they are responsible for following them, and that if they do not there will be consequences. A cruise, while not truely "safe", can provide an opportunity to let your kids have just a bit more independence.

[TigerLady]

my 13 year old is not allowed to wander the ship alone. if she meets a nice group of kids in the kids club then they can go swimming together or to dinner alone one night. she is NOT allowed in anyone's cabins, nor to invite anyone into ours. she is not allowed to play in the elevators. we like to have dinner together as much as we can, except like i said one night she can do something in a group. we do not give her charging priviledges although i believe you can set a spending limit for kids on their ID card.

 

don't forget to be very specific with her about things that you don't encounter normally.. no climbing on railings, no throwing ANYTHING overboard, no going anywhere alone with crew members/strangers. have check in times/places and bring post-it notes to leave for each other in case you get separated.

 

They have curfews for the younger children, and as for spending limits. Set one. Children need to learn early, that they have "X" amount to spend, and they decide what is the most important on what to spend it on.. Remember, they are there to have fun to. Reign them in too tightly, and you'll have rebellious children .. This is coming from a mothe rof 4 boys, and two grandchildren. 26 - 1 are their ages, and we have yet to have any problems. They also have cruised often.

[Voireon]

This post probably isn't very PC, so warning now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, warned you.

 

 

Fairly over-protective parents so far it seems... Maybe it's just that way for girls? My ground rules, since I turned 13 (17 now...) were:

 

1. Leave a note and/or tell me (mom/dad) where you are, or what your doing. i.e., If I'm roaming the ship, let them know, if I'm hanging out deck 7 aft, let them know, etc.

 

2. Don't do drugs/alcohol (never a problem for me, but I have seen xD stuff on board.)

 

3. Don't get a girl pregnant.

 

4. Don't do anything stupid. This means apply stranger rules, don't get in trouble with staff,etc.

 

But, like I said, maybe this is really only over-protective for girls... Who knows with some teenage guys. I've heard of kids on RCL 17yo guy and 14yo girl *cough* "together" *cough*. Kind of sick imo...

 

We haven't ever had any problems. I'm the oldest of four, and my old friends' mothers tell my mother that she's way too lenient and let's me do too much. But then again, of the kids that were "held back," two of them have had DUI's, another busted for selling weed, and another drop out of highschool, and another caught hacking credit cards, and is now in juvy until he's 18. All five had parents who were unwilling to let them out past midnight, didn't allow them to go out more than one night per week, no r-rated movies, no m-rated games.

 

I'm a National Merit Scholar, graduated a year early, and seem to be doing fine as a kid. But I was allowed to do pretty much anything that was within the law.

 

In this way, I find parents that set obnoxious rules... not so intelligent.

 

Reign them in too tightly, and you'll have rebellious children ..

 

Sounds about right to me.

 

startrant

 

4. When in our cabin alone, do not open the door for anyone, including friends or ship's crew.

Not even room service? -.-"

 

7. Follow the curfew

Curfew's on RCCL and Carnival aren't enforced unless the kids are doing something, as I said, "stupid." I have actually hung out with cruise staff until 4ish in the morning on RCCL. Never a problem.

 

14. You may go to the show with your friends (age appropriate) when at least one parent accompany you (the parent may agree to sit in the row behind them and tries to be inconspicuous!)

This is just asfdasfsdfdsaf makes me angry. It sounds like my next door neighboor's mother and my cousin's mother. Problem is, when both of them turned 16, they were pretty much ignorant and oblivious to their parents. My cousin, now 18, moved out with her boyfriend the day she turned 18. I am pretty much the only family she speaks with. - Just as a favor, please, please do not do this to your daughter. She WILL do bad things later in her life if you continue down this path, and I'm willing to wager any amount on it.

 

15. All the rules must be followed and there will be immediate and real consequences if they are not!

What real consequences? There is no such thing unless you want to send them to boarding school, or deprive them of social life entirely, or beat them. But, I highly doubt you would want to do any of the above. I am a teenager, and therefore most of my friends are as well. Let me tell you, there isn't such thing as a real consequence unless it relates to the police, or moving out of the House.

 

 

And, as I said before, I am a good kid. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents, and happily see them all the time. This is not the case with my dormmate, my cousin, or my friends with over-protective parents. In truth, I know only three or four kids that like their parents as I do, and their parents let them do pretty much whatever the teen wishes...

 

/endrant

[Lyndasline@aol.com]

I have such mixed feeling about this issue. We cruise with our 4 kids... the oldest almost 12. I really do trust my kids... but,,,,,,,,,

 

My family cruise alot when I was a teen. On our 1st cruise I was 14, my brother 12 and and older sister who was 16. We all (including 12 year old) drank for the first time... meet boys (won't mention more on that!) and one night we even found our little brother making out with a girl!) We were always pretty good kids, and my parents thought we were safe. I certianly DO NOt want my kids doinging these things on ships!!!! (Don't get me wrong, we LOVED cruising:) We had all the same rules as everyone elso stated but found ways around them! I have been pretty strict with my kids so far....but I know the day is coming where I will have to give them a bit more fredom an the ships. Lynn

(Also be very cautious of the crew- when I was 16 the assitent crews director had a big thing for me.... my parents laughed about it...but had no idea what really happened. Plus all the advances of the "regular" crew.)

 

Yikes, after remembering all that fun ..... why am I cruising with my kids!!! LOL

[Onessa]

Rules are (and unfortunately always will be) different for girls than boys. Maybe if boys followed rules, girls wouldn't have to have different rules :(.

 

Giving a child boundries, is a valuable tool in helping them grow up. I had expectations I needed to follow when I was a child -- and while I managed to have a good time throughout my teens and twenties (and as a matter of fact, still do!), I never really felt like I had to rebel. I managed to graduate high school one year early, graduate college summa cum laud, I had a graduate degree before I was 25YO. No out-of-wedlock children, no shacking up with some bum, no illicite drug use (although the legal drinking age was 18!).

 

The boundries and expectations that I followed throughout my childhood and young adulthood, are really not too much different that the boundries and guidelines that have served me well throughout my life. Telling a 10 or 12YO "not to do anything stupid" - doesn't work that well. You really need to give them something a bit more concrete (for example: we needed to go over this with my then 12YO nephew "stairwells are for moving from one deck to another, not a place to gather with your friends. Having a party in the stairwell is just going to get other people ticked off at you and will probably make security enforce that curfew -- now do you see why lounging in a stairway is something that we would classify as 'stupid' -- BTW he is now 32 and an associate professor of computer forensics science at a state university - again no out-of-wedlock children, no shacking up with some floozy, no illicite drug use. Gasp! could it be? Rules without rebelous anarchy!?)

 

When you have a child of your own (hopefully the product of a well thought out and pre-planned pregnancy :D) -- you will need to make decisions with your wife/significant other as to how you hope to best protect and nurture your child. And when your DD accompanies five other 12YO girls going to a show, you'll want the adult there to protect the girls from the lecherous 17YO boys who want to try to take advantage of them. Even if you are not one of "those" 17YO boys, there are always plenty of them about. As hard as it may be for you to understand - all adults were children at one time.

 

PS - As to "real consequences" - taking away privileges is a real consequence -- for my DD on her fouth trip to Italy, not being allowed to buy new purses or boots (even if it is her "own" money) or scarves or tops or jeans (true proof you are a 17YO boy not a 13YO girl!:D ) No corporal punishment, no empty threats of "boarding school" -- Simply an understanding that she will conduct herself in a considerate mannered fashion and will take all necessary precautions to protect her well being when she IS out and about by herself.

[todareistodo]

We all (including 12 year old) drank for the first time... meet boys (won't mention more on that!) .... I certianly DO NOt want my kids doinging these things on ships!!!!

 

ok so you did some things that were "bad" and you turned out just fine. and now you want to deny your children the same great experiences :p ?

[solesman]

Have a list of SET ground rules. Some that WILL NOT change during the cruise.

 

Then have a list of "dynamic" rules that could be relaxed some if your teen has earned it. But, also be clear to them that these "dynamic" rules could tighten if they push your limits.