Sharing wine at a large table.

[Lovebirds]

If we were to invite guests to our home for dinner and we were to open a bottle of wine for ourselves but not offer any to our guests that would be an inexcusable display of poor maners. On a cruise, we are merely three, four or five couples that happen to be seated at the same table. There is no obligation to offer to share with others, IMHO, and I fail to see how anyone would view that as a breach of manners.

 

We usually order wine by the glass. We have had tablemates that ordered by the bottle and none have ever offered to share with the exception that DW and one of our tablemates were discussing wines, the tablemate and her DH had ordered a bottle, she said to DW "this is a wine I think you might like" and poured her a small sip, similar to what the wine steward pours for approval.

 

I make it a point, on the last night of the cruise, to order a good champagne and have it served to all at the table so that we may properly toast the time we have spent together or anything else that seems appropriate at the time. I do this on the last night so that no one can feel obligated to do the same on another night.

[peaches from georgia]

We like to vary our size table. We will do a 6 or 8 (never a 4) for a cruise or two and then have a table for 2 for a couple of cruises in a row. Variety is the spice of life. It's nice to meet new people and it's nice to be alone sometimes.

 

Best table we ever had was a table for 6 on the Rotterdam. We all hit it off immediately and had suites next to each other without knowing it. And we had almost requested a table for 2 on that cruise.

 

What we thought was going to be the worst table ever was an 8 on the Oosterdam for one of our weeks. An extremely varied group to say the least w/out a thing in common. We almost switched after the first night, but didn't, and ended up having a lot of laughs and a good time after all.

 

I totally agree with you, Lovebirds, we do exactly the same thing.

[want2travelbad]

I have enjoyed reading everyone's perspective on this issue. I would never feel slighted if others at my table ordered a bottle of wine and did not share, however I personally would feel uncomfortable ordering a bottle and not offering to share with others. Obviously, there are a myriad of tastes when it comes to wine. So, if we order a bottle, we usually will tell our tablemates we are considering ordering a bottle of "X", and would any of them be interested in enjoying it with us. We will order more than one bottle, if the interest in our offer warrants it. Like Lovebirds and peaches from georgia, we order champange for the table on the last night of the cruise. If there are children at our table (we have an 11 year old and he often travels with us), we will also order a bottle of sparkling fruit juice, or a round of fruit smoothies for them. We always appreciate the experience of meeting new people on a cruise, and love to partake in a toast on our last night together.

[ryansmemom]

May I ask you where in the original post on this thread, when stanjj asked his question about offering wine to the entire table who at that point would be strangers, is anything at all said about this wine having a thing to do with the celebration of a wedding?

 

If he intends to toast his wife or their marriage of course it is appropriate to include tablemates and provide their wine or champagne, but nowhere in his post is that stated or intimated. Criticism of other posters' replies to stanjj, when they don't have all the facts, is unfair.

 

As for your unnecessary lecture on manners to posters you don't know a thing about l will not comment, except to assure you I for one do not need it nor appreciate it.

 

 

Peaches, If you check out the OP's signature it clearly states "Honeymoon Cruise" That is where I got my information.

 

Secondly, I am sorry if you or anyone else chose to take offence at anything I wrote. It was and never has been my intention to lecture anyone on anything including manners. I sometimes feel that there is just too little grace and generosity left in the world in general these days. When I see people focusing on what is expected and what the obligations are I wonder if we all have to be so focused on the bottom line that we all forget what it is like just to be nice to each other .All I can say is if you or anyone else on this board knows themself to be a kind, friendly generous person, I don't see how they could be offended by anything I said. I was merely validating their lifestyle.

 

If that is what you took from my post, then that is what I meant. If the shoe does not fit your foot, why put it on and be offended in the first place. I obviously was not talking about you.

 

Linda

[Linda&Vern]

I just read my DH this thread - and his question is (as I knew it would be) "can I just get a beer with my dinner?" (Background: He does not care for wine or mixed drinks, only nurses them to be polite. He would prefer just to have a beer now and then.) Seriously, he wants to know if he can get a beer in the dining room! All this wine talk has him worried! THANKS!

[sail7seas]

Yes, Linda.....He can have all the beer he wants in the dining room. The wine steward will be happy to take his order and deliver his beer to him. No problem.

[Linda&Vern]

Yes, Linda.....He can have all the beer he wants in the dining room. The wine steward will be happy to take his order and deliver his beer to him. No problem.

Thanks! I knew that - but he was fussing so, I wanted him to see an experienced cruiser answer him! ;) (Counting down to our Maasdam Holiday Cruise . . . )

[sail7seas]

Hope you love the Maasdam as much as we do. Great place to spend the holidays!!! We were on her for Thanksgiving last year.

[ryansmemom]

Thanks! I knew that - but he was fussing so, I wanted him to see an experienced cruiser answer him! ;) (Counting down to our Maasdam Holiday Cruise . . . )

 

 

We enjoyed one cruise with one of our fellow travellers ordering his nightly "Chateau de Bud Light" every night at the dinner table. He had it brought with a cherry tomato floating in it!

 

All I can add is that a good time was had by all!!!

 

Linda

[ColoradoJuli]

I love the idea of ordering a bottle of champagne for the final night. We have been on several cruises and they have always been with family and friends. We have never thought of ordering a celebratory drink the last night, but things are about the change. Thanks for the wonderful idea!

[cruzincurt]

Many times I've seen some guys bring their "bucket o'beers" to dinner. Seems it would be easier if they had one of those hats with the two cans afixed and a sipping tube. A black hat of course on formal nights.

[Sue's Mom]

On our first cruise, RCCL, DH and I shared a table with six others and we were never offered any wine by our tablemates. If we had received an offer, we feel that it would have been polite to decline. In that way, the "sharing" does not become one-sided, just my humble opinion.

[dakrewser]

Many times I've seen some guys bring their "bucket o'beers" to dinner.

Not on a HAL ship you haven't.

 

-dave

[RuthC]

Traditionally it was the common courtesy to order and share wine at the table in turn. If one did not wish to participate one would turn over the wine glass placed at your cover to indicate your desires.

In more recent years the custom has changed to ordering for self while letting tablemates do the same. If someone asks to share your bottle

( :rolleyes: ) one would be hard-pressed to refuse.

The idea today would seem to be that an accepted offer to share must be reciprocated, and that all at the table should be sharing a good time.

[dakrewser]

Traditionally it was the common courtesy to order and share wine at the table in turn. If one did not wish to participate one would turn over the wine glass placed at your cover to indicate your desires.

That was true only when everyone was eating the same thing, and went out when a restaurant-style menu was introduced. There is no single wine which will go well with all of the main plate choices on a typical cruise ship menu.

 

-dave

[RuthC]

'fraid not, Dave. In the long ago and far away that was the custom. It has gone the way of high button shoes, to be sure, I know. (remember high button shoes?)

I do realize that the custom on this changed quite a while ago, and stopped ordering wine for the table when the doctor cut wa-y-y-y-y down on my liquor limit. If another at the table orders wine I continue the old-fashioned manner of turning my wine glass stem up. So far every wine steward has recognized the signal.

[sail7seas]

There was a more refined, more gracious time in our not so distant past.

 

The times and customs seemed to have changed. It is questionable IMO if it is for the better or if the manners are improved???

[cruzincurt]

Dakrewser, "Not on a HAL ship you haven't."

 

You're right, it was on our last cruise on the Caribbean Princess. The guy at the table next to us brought his bucket o'beers every night.

 

Personally, I felt sorry for him needing 6 beers to get through dinner.

[Cruiseoften]

We are travelling alone (2 persons) and are sittting at a table for 8. If we order wine with dinner is it impolite not to offer the others at the table some wine or does everyone understand that this is a "personal bottle"?

 

It now seems to be accepted that there is no call to share your wine with others at the table. We found this strange and, the first time, felt somewhat uncomfortable. No longer, it's the thing to do. If there's any left over you may save it for the next night or have it delivered to your cabin with a nice fruit and cheese plate - call it a midnight snack!

 

If it's your honeymoon (as someone indicated) - CONGRATULATIONS! and many anniversaries to come! :D

[CDRMark]

When I find myself at a community table at an upscale Japanese restaurant, which may seat 10 or more, I do not feel I must share my drinks/wine. Is there a difference?

Thanks

MarkB

[stanjj111]

Nona and I appreciate all your good wishes.

[Tricia724]

When I started cruising (1970), it was common...and even expected...to share wine with the table. We usually received a bottle of wine from our TA, and on the first night the wine steward would stop by and ask which evening we wanted it served. If others at the table also had wine coming, they would usually stagger the nights. When the steward brought the wine to the table, he would ask: "Shall I serve it around?" I suppose we could have said "no" at that point, but we always shared and others shared with us.

 

That was a nice thing to do, but it also had its disadvantages. I remember one cruise when a lady at our table always accepted a glass of wine but never drank it. I was annoyed because someone else could have enjoyed the wine she left sitting on the table every evening.

 

I was surprised a few years ago after a fifteen-year break from cruising to discover that now everybody does their own thing, but considering the diversity in passengers, it's probably for the best. At least everyone is free to make their own choices.

[Randyk47]

On our last cruise we were at a table for 8. Two of the couples, in essence half of the table, had ordered wine packages for the cruise. My wife and I were not familar with the wine packages and ordered our wine either by the glass or bottle (I like reds, she likes whites) depending on what main course each of us was having. It was a super table and within a couple of nights we were having a great time together. Within a couple of nights every couple had a bottle of wine delivered to the table, either through their packages or ordered that specific night. We shared and sampled pretty much the rest of the cruise without any problems. In fact it turned out that one couple, with whom we became very good friends (and who are visiting us in our home in January), had ordered mainly reds and the wife sort of preferred whites. This worked out quite well as I prefer reds so we'd order white wines and the two ladies would "share" their wine. I can't say it has always been this cooperative and friendly on all of our cruises but, at the same time, we've never sat at a table where sharing or not sharing wine was an issue or a concern.

[marybeach]

It gets very complicated when one couple drinks white zin at $10 a bottle and the other gets Opus 1 at $300 a bottle. If you want to show your appreciation to another table mate, I would suggest offering to buy a before or after dinner drink.

I also feel it could be complicated when everyone doesn't drink. My SO doesn't, even though I do. If I want a glass of wine on a particular night, he orders it for me, or I order it myself;) . He is in sales, and he has bought cocktails before or after dinner for someone he has met and liked, while he orders himself a diet coke. I don't think anyone is obligated to "share", especially if you are placed at a large table of people you don't know.

[VaCruzers]

On our last cruise, we brought a couple bottles of wine from home to enjoy with dinner. We are from Virginia and have several favorite Virginia wines which are not available on any cruise line. At dinner when the first bottle was opened, we mentioned that we had this bottle of VA wine & asked if anyone would like to try it. Everyone declined so we didn't offer when the 2nd was opened. I felt like we had fulfilled our social obligation.

 

On a different cruise, we had ordered a bottle of wine from the wine list & were seated with 2 other couples at a table for six. WE did not offer to share our bottle with the others (since it was something anyone could have ordered, unlike our VA wine which was not available to them), but the assistant waiter, offered it to them !! Likewise, on a night when one of them had ordered a bottle, he offered some to us. I politely replied that he had mistakenly offered the wine to me as it had been ordered by another couple. I think he was inexperienced and apparantly improperly trained. Luckily, it caused no problems among our table because the diners all politely refused wine they had not ordered.