what ever happen to respect?

[PIED PIPERS]

I,ve just come off a cruise the maasdam And I personally thought I had gone back in time . There were older cruisers actually ordering and talking to the employees like they were so under them example A well to do older women was sitting in the lido dining and was ask very politely if she,d care for a cocktail AND her response was no but I want milk NOW I was gulled felt like saying something to her . Talked to women steward later and was told that was not uncommon by the elderly on holland america We witness events like that at least 5 times a day.Those employees work long hours for lousy pay By our standards thety are family people just trying to make a living to support that.

[jhannah]

Sadly, there is little we can do about these folks who seem to either have been raised by wolves or have such an exaggerated sense of entitlement.

 

I truly feel sorry for the poor stewards who have to buck up and take it. I'm afraid if I were in that position such fair persons would "accidentally" get a plate of spaghetti down their back!

[Cruising-along]

Yes, I agree. It makes me sick to see people of any age behave that way. No excuse whatsoever!

[Krazy Kruizers]

It is sad.

 

We have witnessed this all too often on so many of our cruises the last couple of years.

[Q.E.D.]

I was gulled

You were what?

 

Wondering if perhaps a seagull pooped on you...

[sail7seas]

There is a lot of anger in the world, sadly. That anger is expressed in inappropriate ways and speaking rudely to those who one knows cannot 'talk back' is one way angry people behave.

 

Constant complaining is another 'release of anger.' When there is a pattern of one saying they are always the one who gets cheated out of something, who's experience is less than everyone else's, their steward less friendly/efficient/prompt etc as everyone else's, that whatever can go wrong, does go wrong to them .....often indicates a very unhappy, angry person.

 

No excuse, of course, but a possible explanation???

 

Certainly it is unacceptable.

[mamaofami]

I agree, there are a lot of angry people in the world, and they do take out their frustrations on people below them who they feel can't talk back..

But, I also think that there are some people who just have an exagerated air of entitlement and are used to "ordering around the help" without any concern for them. And, I don't think it's limited to just older folks. Over the years I've worked with many familes and I've noticed a gradual change in parents. Many that I have worked with in the past few years really have an air of entitlement.

[sail7seas]

Wonder if these are the same families who felt entitled to own a $1 million dollar home though they could only afford one costing very much less. :rolleyes:

[Cruzman]

Wonder if these are the same families who felt entitled to own a $1 million dollar home though they could only afford one costing very much less. :rolleyes:

 

Sail, ROFLMAO!

[mamaofami]

Sail, ROFLMAO!

 

I agree with Sail, but can't really laugh about that since it's part of what got us into this stock market mess. There were also many people who felt entitled to own homes of a much lower value who couldn't afford those either. The same entitlement issues. Guess they didn't read the fine print in their documents either.

[CrabbyHarper]

There is not a lot we can do about someone who is angry, lonesome, or just plain cranky. But I have noticed that politeness and kindness are catching! If we make sure that we greet each "server" with a smile and a pleasant request, we are not only making the server happy, but setting a good example.

 

And just remember that even the best of us, with the best of good intentions, can have a cranky moment.:(

[Krazy Kruizers]

There is not a lot we can do about someone who is angry, lonesome, or just plain cranky. But I have noticed that politeness and kindness are catching! If we make sure that we greet each "server" with a smile and a pleasant request, we are not only making the server happy, but setting a good example.

 

And just remember that even the best of us, with the best of good intentions, can have a cranky moment.:(

 

Well said!!

[photomikey]

I agree with Sail, but can't really laugh about that since it's part of what got us into this stock market mess. There were also many people who felt entitled to own homes of a much lower value who couldn't afford those either. The same entitlement issues. Guess they didn't read the fine print in their documents either.

I've signed several of those documents, and never found the interest rate to be buried in the "fine print". However I do usually see it on the front few pages, listed several times, in no uncertain terms, and I am required to initial next to it.

[ekerr19]

I also think people should consider the age of some of these folks being referred to...

 

My Mom is in her 80's and her mind is just not what it used to be. Sometimes she gets so stuck on one thing, and she really can't help it. It's an issue to her until it's resolved and sometimes her actions aren't pretty or polite, sadly. She doesn't mean to come across forcefully, she just does. It's the early onset of Alzheimers.

 

Not everyone that acts this way is doing so because they don't know better or because they have a sense of entitlement, though I agree there are folks out there that do...

 

I always try and think twice when I see it happen nowadays. That said, there's no excuse for people my age acting like this - which we've sadly seen a few times on HAL.

[waASPCrusier]

I agree, there are a lot of angry people in the world, and they do take out their frustrations on people below them who they feel can't talk back..

 

But, I also think that there are some people who just have an exagerated air of entitlement and are used to "ordering around the help" without any concern for them. And, I don't think it's limited to just older folks. Over the years I've worked with many familes and I've noticed a gradual change in parents. Many that I have worked with in the past few years really have an air of entitlement.

 

 

Very well said.....and it sure does exist across age lines. Granted I have only been on three HAL cruises but if a crew member doesn't smile at me first...I have never had one not smile back when I when i initiated the smile...most even follow it with how are you today. Really a shame to treat them with anything other than respect. :)

 

Tayo and Kristy

[WhansaMi]

I,ve just come off a cruise the maasdam And I personally thought I had gone back in time . There were older cruisers actually ordering and talking to the employees like they were so under them example A well to do older women was sitting in the lido dining and was ask very politely if she,d care for a cocktail AND her response was no but I want milk NOW I was gulled felt like saying something to her . Talked to women steward later and was told that was not uncommon by the elderly on holland america We witness events like that at least 5 times a day.Those employees work long hours for lousy pay By our standards thety are family people just trying to make a living to support that.

 

My ex-mother-in-law was born around 1911. She was always telling me that I was "low class" for saying "thank you" to waiters and waitresses. Apparently a lot of people from that era were raised that way... servants were put there to serve you... it is their job... and you treat them accordingly. :-(

 

Sheila

[pipedreams62]

[savannahgirl1]

Here was my personal experience. Whenever I received something from a waiter or who ever I would thank them. For example in the Lido when I had a sandwich made at the sandwich station I would reply "thank you sir." When Eko, our waiter would pull the chair out for me I would say "thank you sir" When I ordered a drink from the waitress I would say "thank you ma'am." I realized I was putting sir and ma'am at the end of my thank you's, always have. So I told my husband that I hoped they didn't think I was being patronizing with the sir and ma'am. :o Little did I know our waiter had heard me and his response was " no ma'am, its appreciated." Its amazing how a little respect and kindness can go a long way. :)

[WeLoveCruising]

Sad, we are recently off the Maasdam, and I posted in my review about a guy who was yelling at the port security officer in Quebec City because he didnt have his photo ID and thought he was going to miss lunch in the Lido.

 

We also met another couple onboard on the way to dinner, and really liked them after our initial short conversation. Their table was near ours, and when I saw how they treated the staff I had no interest to get to know them any better.

[fun*n*sun]

I also think people should consider the age of some of these folks being referred to...

 

My Mom is in her 80's and her mind is just not what it used to be. Sometimes she gets so stuck on one thing, and she really can't help it. It's an issue to her until it's resolved and sometimes her actions aren't pretty or polite, sadly. She doesn't mean to come across forcefully, she just does. It's the early onset of Alzheimers.

 

Not everyone that acts this way is doing so because they don't know better or because they have a sense of entitlement, though I agree there are folks out there that do...

 

I always try and think twice when I see it happen nowadays. That said, there's no excuse for people my age acting like this - which we've sadly seen a few times on HAL.

 

I'm sorry about your Mother having problems ekerr and wanted to add my voice to your thoughts. While there isn't an excuse for being rude and disrepectful and some people, old and young, are just, for lack of a better word, jerks, some elderly people can't control thier emotions and actions in the way they would like to. They need our understanding and compassion rather than our censure.

 

My grandmother was a wonderful, gentle, caring and thoughtful woman all her life, but as she entered her mid 80's her patience and her temper began to shorten. She got upset very easily. If we went to dinner and her water wasn't there right away or her food wasn't as she wanted it she would lash out. At first she would be very embarrassed at her own actions, but later she didnt even realize how she'd acted. Many years after this started she was diagnosed with Alzhiemers, which helped us to understand what had been going on. I know my Grandmother and she would never have caused anyone any pain or problems if she could have helped herself. Only some of us have to go through this as we age thank goodness, but if I do I hope people will have some understanding and forgivness for me.

[GarySuzy]

I have over the last 10 yrs or so seen an increasing trend in corporate America of Management not respecting their employees and vis versa. Some where along the line we seem have to forgotten about "treating others as you wish to be treated"

 

ekerr, I understand your point very well. My niece's husband had a stroke 3 years ago and the part of his brain that was damage is the part that controls your social graces. He tends to interrupt conversations and gets demanding at times, he just does not know any better at this time. His son and daughter, both pre teens, have to let him know when he is being rude.

 

Gary

[bplazo]

You were what?

 

Wondering if perhaps a seagull pooped on you...

 

Too funny.

[IheartHAL]

You were what?

 

Wondering if perhaps a seagull pooped on you...

 

Too funny.

 

:D :D :D (... didn't notice the "fine print" when I first read Q.E.D.'s post)

[sail7seas]

I never particularly notice how guests interact with /treat Officers. I know they will deal with it fine.

 

I always notice how people interact with cabin stewards, dining stewards, bartenders, sailors helping us on and off tenders etc........

 

They usually have to take people's 'GUFF'.... (there are a few others words that might describe it better but I'm told I'm [usually] a lady. :D

 

We all have a bad moment or two throughout a week's period but there is no excuse for some consistently rotten behavior. These crews work and try so 'dam' hard to please us and give us the 'cruise of a lifetime', it just seems impossible to not be appreciative and let them know it. IMO

 

 

[brucory]

:D :D :D (... didn't notice the "fine print" when I first read Q.E.D.'s post)

 

I didnt see this but had a good laugh when you mentioned it again... I have never heard of "gulled" but I like Q.E.D.'s interpretatio...

 

:D :D :D