Sorry. It's our first cruise. We didn't know the etiquette...

[PenelopeCorelli]

from dirty looks to actually being told to "speak White" or "when in Rome..." (this one being the funniest, since it's *always* used in reference to English! The last time I heard that one was in WDW...). That and putting up with a diatribe or two directed at my cultural group, from frankly uninformed and/or ignorant table or tour mates. For this reason alone, I have requested a table for 2 for the MDR. I want to relax and be *me*.

 

Wow, what weird comments from others..speak "white"?? Sad you feel you have to eat alone. I know that some people feel awkward around people speaking in another language - maybe they think they're being talked about. So if I'm not prying, what IS your cultural group - French Canadian? ("Diatribe" - cool word; I've heard it occasionally, but never use it; maybe I could practice increasing my vocab, lol!)

[bobarnie]

Oh really? Which of the suggestions above do you consider a tad extreme?

Wow !!! could one of you do a full list so I can print it out and take it with me on my first cruise so that I do not upset any experienced cruisers. I will cary it withme at all times lol !

[*Kendra*]

I'm not a "soapbox" poster, but this thread has struck a cord. It will be our 1st cruise in May for us with Celebrity.

 

We are not US citizens and do not always speak English amongst ourselves. I have in the past encountered very sad reactions from people when on vacation both in the US and elsewhere with a large English-speaking clientele: from dirty looks to actually being told to "speak White" or "when in Rome..." (this one being the funniest, since it's *always* used in reference to English! The last time I heard that one was in WDW...). That and putting up with a diatribe or two directed at my cultural group, from frankly uninformed and/or ignorant table or tour mates. For this reason alone, I have requested a table for 2 for the MDR. I want to relax and be *me*.

 

Having said that, when I am having a private conversation (in a quiet or regular voice), in a public area, I hate to me made to feel unwelcomed. And yes, I do see the person who is glaring... they are not invisible; and I do hear the nasty comment, as I do understand English. BTW, I have never forced anyone to deal with me in my own language. I speak 3, am learning a fourth, and can usually find one that works ;)

 

 

I am sorry people had been rude to you because you are a different nationality than they are. I understand how it feels, I am an American living in Italy. I am worried about this on my upcoming cruise because I will be the minority, there will only be about 10% of people who speak english on my cruise.

Sadly some people are ignorant about other cultures. I know its hard to ignore it but thats all you can do. Don't stoop to their level. "Speak white"?!?! Seriously?!?! WOW, I dont even have words for how stupid that sounds.

[Houndmom]

"Speak White?????" Dang, that's rude!

[SacredHeart]

My pet peeve:

 

Just 1) because you are on vacation 2) You are on a ship, and therefore don't have to drive home, It is NOT an excuse to get inebriated, loud, and obnoxious. It is especially annoying when drunk people get loud and obnoxious in the theatre.

 

I could not agree with this more. Let's face it...there are those who can handle their alcohol, and those who can't. Those who can't most likely already know this but that doesnt seem to stop them from getting loaded and making everyone else suffer. Everyone should be able to relax and have fun, but not at the expense of everyone around them! I will be cruising for the first time in June and after watching a few cruise videos on another website I'm honestly worried about what I may have to endure...lol

 

My philosophy.... drink all you want as long as your behavior doesn't negatively impact those around you. And if it does... those around you have the right to b***h-slap you. :D

[Citizen Jane]

Two quick observations:

 

1. While it is true that common sense will keep you on track on a cruise ship there are things that may contradict what you would expect to be acceptable or even expected behavior. One has already been mentioned in this thread: don't leave your used room service stuff in the hall unless told to do so. At hotels on land, they sometimes tell you that you can put it in the hall. If the ship hits rough weather, things in the hall will definitely move and can become real hazards.:eek:

 

2. The language thing is bad to experience and I'm sorry you've been made to feel singled out for it. It has happened to me in foreign countries, so I know EXACTLY the kind of behavior you are speaking about. Of course, the funniest thing that happens when you speak multiple languages is when someone around you switches to another language to talk about a sensitive subject thinking nobody will get it because they all just speak English. Oh the things that I've heard, LOL.;) I've been guilty of smirking or looking shocked with this accidental eavesdropping.:o

[Citizen Jane]

Here's another tip for the casino. When the ship is moving in rough water the casino will bring out special coasters for your drink that are weighted and surround your glass. You are expected to use these so as to avoid soaking the table and your companions in the case that the ship lurches.

 

While there are fewer small children at the second seating they are not nonexistent. Our 5 year old is used to eating a later dinner at home and is fine with second seating. All in all, however the kids are fewer just be prepared that childless dining can't be guaranteed unless you are in a specialty restaurant.

 

In fact DD loved second seating and got special treatment by the head waiter every night, but especially on formal night when he declared her to be the most beautiful woman in the room and brought her special treats and brought other waiters over to look at the princess. He also came to the table every night to cut her steak into bites for her very ceremoniously (she's a big meat eater!). Dinner in the MDR was one of the highlights of her cruise experience!

[Arwenmark]

I do not wish to perpetuate the war going on here, but I do have a specific question regarding how all of you would handle a situation, Good parents please do not take offense I am obviously not referring to you in this situation, But I have encountered it more than once both at sea and on land.

 

Eating dinner when someone at another table has a small child say four or under, that they let get down and crawl under tables, their own and others, and go up to other patrons and try to take things off the table or poke at things including the guest, asks questions of them etc. I am in a wheelchair and sometimes that makes me even more of a target than other guests. Anyway while this is going on parent pays no attention at all.

So do you speak to the parent and if so how, do you call the head waiter or manager? what do you do? are you suppose to smile and put up with it?

 

I raised five children myself and would NEVER allow them even to slouch in the seat let alone behave like the children in these cases.

 

So honestly and without malice please answer how you would handle it. thank you.

[Citizen Jane]

That sort of behavior is not allowed in our family.

 

Are you asking what we would do if our kiddo tried it or how we'd react to other kids doing it?

 

I'm posting from my iPhone so I can answer either or both of those questions later, but now is difficult. :)

[Arwenmark]

That sort of behavior is not allowed in our family.

 

Are you asking what we would do if our kiddo tried it or how we'd react to other kids doing it?

 

I'm posting from my iPhone so I can answer either or both of those questions later, but now is difficult. :)

 

I am saying assume you are having dinner with your husband or wife and this happens at an adjoining table. [someone else and their child]

[Citizen Jane]

Argh, posted a long response to this and it has disappeared.

 

In short I would probably either:

 

1. Head to the bathroom and inform the maitre'd of the problem on the way to or from the facilities. This would be my course of action to avoid confrontation. After all, you'll probably be dining neighbors with said folks for a few nights.

 

OR

 

2. Steer child back to parents with statement like, (smile) "I think you lost something precious." If the behavior persisted I'd probably do option 1.

 

My Mom/Teacher stern voice would probably direct the kid back to Mom or Dad if they persisted in invading our personal space...gentle, but firm and no-nonsense.

 

To be honest I've only experienced that kind of behavior rarely in restaurants that cater to a family crowd so I haven't had to confront it. Just lucky I guess. Or maybe I look sufficiently mean to scare kids away.:eek:

[Houndmom]

drink all you want as long as your behavior doesn't negatively impact those around you. And if it does... those around you have the right to b***h-slap you. :D

 

Hehehe! I want a T-shirt with that on it. :rolleyes:

[Houndmom]

Please don't judge me for taking the elevator (lift) one flight. I may look well enough for those stairs, but my arthritic knees are sometimes just not up for the trip.

 

You just can't tell by looking at someone how fit they may or may not be.

 

I must agree. My husband has a heart condition, and looks fine on the outside. Some people have "hidden" disabilities that make it necessary for them to use elevators instead of stairs. Please don't assume that such people are "just lazy."

[Bibi]

Discuss with your children how to behave BEFORE going on vacation. Do this a number of times.

Don't let them run through the dining room.

Don't leave them alone to roam the ship.

Don't let them play in elevators.

 

Be quiet later at night (like after 11:00 pm) when walking past other's cabins.

 

Be polite. Don't shove. Wait YOUR turn. We were taught how to treat others back in elementary school... try to remember what your 1st grade teacher taught you.

 

At least ATTEMPT the dress code for the evening, including the main dining room....

 

Enjoy your cruise, have fun, and pass on a little forgiveness to new cruisers. Finally....learn from your mistakes!

 

I second this post!

 

Common sense, kindness and little courtesy can go a long way. Have fun!

[CowPrincess]

So do you speak to the parent and if so how, do you call the head waiter or manager? what do you do? are you suppose to smile and put up with it?

 

 

Immediately ask the parents to keep the child seated, or at least away from me, because I was "afraid I might accidentally roll over the child and hurt him/her". You have as much right to be able to relax and enjoy dinner as do the parents of the intrusive child. And if they didn't comply, I'd make sure my chair wasn't stationary for the rest of the meal any time the kid approached.

 

If the parents DON'T get the kid under control, I'd ask the Maitre D' to move me for the rest of the cruise.

[CC Help Michell]

Immediately ask the parents to keep the child seated, or at least away from me, because I was "afraid I might accidentally roll over the child and hurt him/her". You have as much right to be able to relax and enjoy dinner as do the parents of the intrusive child. And if they didn't comply, I'd make sure my chair wasn't stationary for the rest of the meal any time the kid approached.

 

If the parents DON'T get the kid under control, I'd ask the Maitre D' to move me for the rest of the cruise.

 

I agree, that would be a one night problem if some friendly conversation didn't correct the situation. It's dangerous to the child and creates stress for you. There's no reason whatsoever to put up with that, so explain the situation and ask to be moved.

 

(PS This question reminded me of a thread here on the family board a few months ago -- a youngster was roaming from table to table and TAKING FOOD OFF THE PLATES OF OTHER DINERS -- and someone actually had to post here to ask "how do you handle that?" :D It made for some lively conversation from even the most kid-oriented posters! The concensus was you don't even wait until the "rest of the cruise" -- you involve the maitre'd NOW for that one! :eek:)

[TransplantedOkies]

We have 2 girls(ages 17 & 11) and IF either one of them ever acted that way toward fellow passengers(or anyone else), they would eat in the stateroom and not be allowed in the dining room at all! They would have to deal with ME and trust me it would NOT be a pretty sight! Ever since they were very little we have taught them how to behave in public places. Now when they see other peoples children acting like demons, they look at us and say something to the effect of "I'm glad we don't act that way"

[cruznjan]

Don't sit at the dinner table complaining night after night. If you have a problem speak to the maitre'd. Also, don't hog the conversation. Give others a chance to speak.

 

Cruznjan

[lissaw16]

Just got off my first cruise (4-night on RC's Monarch), and here are a few things that I learned:

 

When arriving at the pier (being dropped off curb-side by family members), do not remove your own luggage from your car. The porters will yell *teasingly* at you.

 

Although the signs say that you do not have to tip, the porter was holding a $10 bill in his hand. Subtle ;). I only felt obligated to give him $4 for our two bags.

 

When you go to breakfast in the morning, put the "please make up room" tag in your door, otherwise your stateroom attendant will yell *teasingly* at you. "I didn't know you were up yet! I would have made your bed!" she said. Oops, won't happen again.

 

When room service is delivered, they will tell you what to do with your tray. In our case, we were told to call when we were done. We called, they told us to put it in the hallway. We forgot. Someone eventually collected it (stateroom attendant maybe?), and we weren't "in trouble".

 

If your tablemates don't show up for dinner (ours didn't for nights #2 and #3), the table doesn't wait for you (at least we didn't). We amused ourselves by sitting in different chairs (round table=different views) each night.

 

I was facinated by the table-setting that went on. On night one, we had 5 red wine glasses, 5 white wine glasses, and 5 water glasses (in addition to multiple forks, spoons, and knives) on a small round table. No one ordered wine. On night two, there were no wine glasses on the table. DH and I ordered a bottle of white (and the assistant waiter had to fetch us two glasses). On night 3, there were two white wine glasses on the table. No one ordered wine. On night 4, there were no wine glasses on the table. One of the tablemates ordered a glass of red. :D

 

There are well-behaved children in the dining room. We were seated near a large table with a baby (about 9 months old) and two preschoolers (4 and 5 years approx). When the meal got long, someone (mom, dad, auntie) would take them out of the dining room, and return when food was served, then out again when they were done eating. When the baby cried, someone took her for a walk. They were fun to watch, especially the baby, as she looked like she was ready to fall asleep in her high chair (this was at early seating, by the way).

 

I was actually more worried about an old man at a nearby table. I was sure he was going to fall over and die any minute. Seriously, he was looking very unhealthy-hunched over, hardly spoke, struggled to get fork to mouth. I was pleased to see that he made it to dinner every night.

 

No one cares what you are wearing to dinner. I stressed about our outfits, and in retrospect, I never even noticed what other people had on. I enjoyed dressing up on formal night (me in a cocktail dress, DH in a suit and tie), we had some nice portraits taken. I wore a sundress one night, and capri's and a light blazer the other nights. DH wore hawaiian shirts (button up, with a collar) and khaki's (and sneakers with white socks) the other nights.

[julieanne]

I must agree. My husband has a heart condition, and looks fine on the outside. Some people have "hidden" disabilities that make it necessary for them to use elevators instead of stairs. Please don't assume that such people are "just lazy."

I definitely agree with this. I am pretty fit, but I have a double spinal fusion along with arthritis in my lower back. Very often walking up the stairs onboard can be painful for me. I never judge anyone who prefers to take the elevator!

Plus, if you have small children, we always requested that the waiter serve the children their food as soon as possible when they were young. (if somebody hasn't mentioned this yet:))

[olds1937]

I think this thread had some good advice. I wanted to bring it back alive.

[frgprncs]

wow..good advice...taking my first cruise next sunday to Alaska..good stuff in here!

[ATL2LAS]

You can easily get caught up in the moment while on your cruise. You worked hard, saved and now for the payoff. You just have to remember how you would like to be treated. Put yourself in the other persons position. Enjoy yourself and have fun.

[gal14]

Right. Because it is never the mother in this scenario who is being insensitive and unaware of how her volume, tone and/or behavior are impacting those around them. It is never some self involved mommy who has decided that their child's 'meltdown' is an adequate reason to shriek at their child or barge through groups of others without regard for the activities of those around them.

 

Nor has a mother ignored the signs of an impending 'meltdown' (or even encouraged it by keeping the kiddos active till they are too tired to do anything BUT melt down) for her own selfish interests.

 

Because of course a mother under the stress of a 'melting down' child has never been known to focus on her small world or be overly sensitive to comments and glances of those around her.

 

 

 

 

Perhaps mommies need to consider that the commentary or looks aren't any more a personal attack than their own behavior is.

 

 

(And heaven forbid we mention the father in all of this)

 

WELL SAID!! I'm a mom of two (one with ADHD) and have been a foster mom of several of varying ages and have taken children (from 1 year old to 15) on almost every cruise... I have only had one "meltdown". Why???? because WE (dad is included) plan ahead, pay attention and make sure our kids know what is expected of them- and not just on a cruise! I'm so tired of being expected to stand by and watch poor/no parenting because people are on "vacation". If you have an issue with a child, deal with it as discreetly as you can for your child's sake. But be proactive and avoid the meltdowns for everyone (yours, your child's, and everyone else's)!

[sillysailor 1955]

Glad to see you live to post another day kornkob. :D:D I do agree with most of what you have said. What gets right up my nose is the whiny, plaintive voice... "Stop that... this is your last warning..." followed by "Stop that... I don't want to have to tell you again..." SuperLarz, you and Chell got it spot on. It is bad parenting that annoys people the most. :):)

 

 

You my friend have hit the nail on the head .... most of the time its not the kids (I'm speaking of young ones) who are the most annoying... its the whining parents who have absolutely no clue how to remove the child from the situation and really couldn't care less how annoying they are to others.:eek: