What do you think is an appropriate age for leaving children in the room along?

[skylock]

I think the amount of freedome needs to be about equal to the amount of freedom you give them at home and it needs to take their responsibility level/temperment into concideration.

 

I'd let a mature five-seven year old go to the buffet unexcorted or the bathroom alone if you were in an adjoining room and they knew where you were.

 

I'd let a seven or eight old stay in the room for less than an hour or so while you were (not drunk) elsewhere in the ship getting something to bring back to the room to eat.

 

I'd let a ten year old be in the room alone watching a movie while you were at a show.

 

I'd let a middle school age child go specific places on the ship within specific guidelines and stay in the room alone.

 

I'd let a high schooler have free reign as long as they were aware of the rules and agreed to follow them, if they did not follow them they'd have their privelidges yanked.

 

However, you can't have a kid that's never been left alone or ever been unsupervised and suddenly give them free reign or in charge of a younger sibling AND if you've got a kid that's got behavior issues you need to take that into account. Life isn't about you, and the other people in your enviroment and their peace and quiet need to be taken into consideration. If your kid is going to be out of control then you need to ensure that you're there to correct their behavior (and correct it even if you are there).

 

And no, telling the kid stop running and then letting them continue running isn't good parenting.

 

THAT hit it on the head.

[audcc77]

It has very little to do with the age or maturity of the child(ren). It has everything to do with who else is on that ship.

 

Most likely, nothing will happen – but I would never forgive myself if something did.

[5waldos]

It has very little to do with the age or maturity of the child(ren). It has everything to do with who else is on that ship.

 

 

Most likely, nothing will happen – but I would never forgive myself if something did.

 

You cannot protect your children from everything. You have to balance protection and progress. You teach them to protect themselves. It is a slow and careful process but in the end- they will have to take responsibility for themselves. You do the best you can do and then cross your fingers. Like watching a young child on monkeybars- you hold your breath while your child expands their world.

[stay_or_go]

You cannot protect your children from everything. You have to balance protection and progress. You teach them to protect themselves. It is a slow and careful process but in the end- they will have to take responsibility for themselves. You do the best you can do and then cross your fingers. Like watching a young child on monkeybars- you hold your breath while your child expands their world.

 

Well said!

[bobsfamily]

At about 13-15 we allowed them basically free reign... with a curfew and check-in times during the day... When younger we had very specific check-in, meet at 10ish at the room, bed check and lock in with DND card out. We had a key and they were locked in if across the isle. ONCE we had a cat.12 with them in the same room... between them/friends/neighbors/etc we opted for 2 rooms, plus they were now older.

 

Now they are 17/21 and basically refuse to go with us (lame, dad).... LOL

[halos]

I think it very much depends on YOUR children. We sat next to a 3 and 7 year old who came to the theater early every night to save seats for their parents. very mature kids who had cruised a lot.

 

If your kids are the type to run up and down the halls, my answer is they are not ready.

 

 

:eek: 3 and 7???????

 

Sorry. I don't care about how well a child behaves. It has nothing to do with behavior, it's about safety.

 

 

wow

[ohitssunshine]

This was something we struggled with taking our kids- 14, 11 and 9 on their first cruise. Our kids do stay home alone, as long as the 14 year old is home to babysit. They are home alone for about 2 hours at a time here and there.

 

On the ship though, there are no cell phones. Maybe if I buy the walkie talkies, I would consider it. But I still just did not feel comfortable leaving the kids in the room alone. We did leave them long enough to get a print out of expenses from guest service, and the entire time I worried!

 

As far as the other views, we are a family that enjoys each others company. I too think if we are paying for a vacation, why wouldn't we spend it together? We are taking time away from the every day run around where we don't have the option to hang out and have fun together, so we love to be able to do that on vacations. If my kids wanted to do something on their own, so be it, but I would want them to make that decision and not me pushing them away.

[Skywench]

I think it very much depends on YOUR children. We sat next to a 3 and 7 year old who came to the theater early every night to save seats for their parents. very mature kids who had cruised a lot.

 

If your kids are the type to run up and down the halls, my answer is they are not ready.

 

I think it's irresponsible of the parents to let a 7 year old and a 3 year old to be on their own like that. Just because the parents are on vacation, doesn't mean they are on vacation from parenting.

[shipty2]

I think it's irresponsible of the parents to let a 7 year old and a 3 year old to be on their own like that. Just because the parents are on vacation, doesn't mean they are on vacation from parenting.

 

 

I agree. No matter how mature a 7 year old is they could not protect a 3 year old from a child molester etc . And the idea of 3 year old running to their muster station without an adult in case of emergency is ludicrous.

 

It is not a question of how they behave but how they would react in a most unusual situation.

[lisa e]

This is the way I as a parent view it. Do you leave your kids alone while you run to the store? If yes then think do you run to the store and leave your kids there with the possibility of the house catching on fire?

I say 13 and older is one thing

I view the ship as the possibility of the house catching on fire. While my 5 year old is extremely responsible I would never leave him out of my sight without a trusted adult watching him on the ship. There are two factors for this: You do NOT know who is on that boat for you. It is not like we can look on the sex offenders registry for who will be on the ship with us. Not to mention I do not want to be the first parent whose three year old climbs over the railing!:eek:

Not an over protective parent here, just a vigilant street smart one.

Have we not learned something from the parents of Madeline in Portugal????

agreed...your child may be mature but you have know idea who the others are on the ship..no way would I leave children that young..Madeline in portugal is a perfect example parents went for dinner downstairs and child went missing out of their hotel room..

[rrraydon]

My older children are 23, 21, and 19. My younger child is 12. She's been on 9 cruises and is very responsible. We have no problems letting her have free reign. She is not one to carry on or get into trouble, but has NO problems seeking help if the need arose. The first day or so she spends more time with us until she meets friends and has others to hang out with. Camp carnival recommends they stay in pairs when out on treasure hunts and things and they pretty much stick to that throughout the cruise. She is on vacation too and does not require anyone to "babysit" her. She checks in with us every two hrs or so depending on whats going on in camp carnival or other areas of the ship. And sometimes we show up just to see whats she's up to. The Capers are a great help because we discuss the night before our plans for the following day so we pretty much know where each other will be. We like to have dinner together every night but some nights she wants to be with her new friends..and that's okay too.

 

Now, my other children are a whole different ball game. If let loose, lord knows what kind of trouble they would get into. When they were her age, they had to be with me at all times..probably even today..lol.

[near the beach]

What would you expect them to do while in the cabin? I have seen kids of all ages running around ships at all hours. They seem to like the glass elevators in the atrium. There is always Camp Carnival or baby sitters.

[hlb76]

This is a age old question that has no real answer. I think we are all in agreement that its more about the other passengers we worry more about. You can't always trust strangers. :( I also think there is no magical age. I have seen lots of agreements on that as well.

 

I have 2 boys the oldest is 15 (today) and the youngest is almost 10. We have cruised for the last 4 years one cruise a year. It's been a process for what we allowed our kids to do. Our first cruise we went with another family that had a child the same age as my oldest. We let the 2 of them go off together with in reason and with rules. My first rule was he was not allowed on open decks until he could prove himself trust worthy. It was my first cruise and I was very nervous. We worked our way up in 5 days that he could be on deck. Each year he has earned more freedoms, again with in reason and with rules.

He has also been responsible for his brother over the years. EXAMPLE if they both wanted ice cream, or a run down the water slide. They have over the years been left alone in the room so mom and dad could go see the late comedy show or even a show they dont care to see. We have even let them graduate to watching a movie on the lido alone (well together) if they wanted to skip a late dinner or show we wanted to catch.

My oldest is not very much into camp anymore so he hangs with us but does get bored and go back to the room or check out the shops from time to time.

 

This year my youngest was old enough to sign in and out of camp. He is the one we worry the most about. He can be very street smart at times and be very stupid at other times. We went back and forth on what to let him do. Of course he wanted to be able to sign in and out. We had many many talks on why we should let him and so on. When the time came to register for camp we decided to give him the right. We had very strict rules. We had the capers so he would decide what he wanted to do with us and what he wanted to do at camp. If we where going to be on the deck sunning while he was at camp (for example) we would find our spot then walk him to the stairs close to camp and let him head up alone. He was to come down to our meeting spot ASAP when he was done at camp. We did check in at camp if we would change our plans to let him now we had moved locations and made a new meeting point. We would also check in with him at camp just to make sure he was holding his end of the bargin and being where he said he was going to be. Him signing worked out great this year. We just had very specific rules that where to be followed no matter what. Those rules went both ways. We could not just run and do and loose track of time then we would not of held our end of the bargin. By the end of the week he had earned the privilage of us not escorting him all the way to the stairs on the 10th deck ( camp was on deck 12) right under camp. At no time was he allowed to wander alone. He was only to go to point A to point B in a timely fashion. Once we meet up if he wanted a drink or what have you we made a new game plan.

 

I hope this makes sense. I think each family has to come up with a plan that works for them. Some its walkie talkies, some notes, some being jioned at the hip.

[Baystate]

When we were on the Paradise 6 years ago we had a strange happening. Our kids were 9 and 7 at the time and so we all were in bed asleep and we had the deadbolt on. Then about 9:30 or so the steward opened the door and when my husband jumped and went to the door the steward said he was sorry. He was just trying to drop off a towel that we had purchased. Weird considering the time. We never would have left them alone in the cabin, but I have wondered if he thought the kids were in the cabin alone.

[hlb76]

When we were on the Paradise 6 years ago we had a strange happening. Our kids were 9 and 7 at the time and so we all were in bed asleep and we had the deadbolt on. Then about 9:30 or so the steward opened the door and when my husband jumped and went to the door the steward said he was sorry. He was just trying to drop off a towel that we had purchased. Weird considering the time. We never would have left them alone in the cabin, but I have wondered if he thought the kids were in the cabin alone.

 

 

9:30 pm. I guess I dont consider it too weird. We had a late seating and where not done eating til 10pm. And when we had early seating we would go to the later show when we went. I have seen the stewards still cleaning rooms and such at this hour.

 

I do think it would of been a major shock to me and I would question it as well. But if you did buy a towel, and the DND sign was up I think 930 a reasonable hour for a steward to do something he may of missed. At home I would be pissed if my door bell rang at this hour or phone for that matter. On a cruise we are up way later!

[Smithkids5521]

I was on a Disney Cruise in December and our tablemates let their kids sign in and out of kids clubs and come and go from the room. At night, their kids would stay in the room while the parents hung out at the bar, etc. The kids were 8 and 13 and they had an inside stateroom.

I am just wondering what other people do and if this seems appropriate or not.

Jess

Upcoming Carnival Splendor Easter Break March 2010

 

I think the law (at least here in Maryland) is age 13 to be allowed to stay home alone and also to babysit- so as far as staying in the cabin alone I guess it would be the same as having the 13 year old babysit the 8 year old at home.

 

I don't know about wandering the ship though- maybe if they were just going from point A to point B- like from the kids club to the arcade or to the room... but maybe not to just wander the ship. But then again, I wouldn't let my kids wander the mall either...

 

I agree that it depends on maturity of the kids... I think this age is fine as long as they know and obey the rules (no going into anyone's cabin, no one allowed in our cabin, stay together, etc...).

[mom22tinks]

Thanks to everyone for your input. I still have mixed feelings about it all, so I guess they'll just be with me as usual. I trust my children, but don't trust the 3000+ strangers. Plus my little one gets tired early and doesn't like to stay at the camp late. I guess I'll know when the time is right for me and them. And trust me,,,,when it is.... they will not be running around the whole ship alone!

Thanks. Jessica

[caribbound]

This is a very long thread to get through! I had somewhat set ideas before leaving for my cruise with 10 and 13 yo girls NOT to let them sign themselves in/out of clubs and to always be with me when not in club. The teen club didn't even have the option (I could have made a stink about it but chose to just give extra warnings to her instead) and the 9-11 age group had to be able to sign themselves in/out in order to go on group scavenger hunts. Maybe I should have thought more of the "what if's" than her feeling left out if she's the only one back at camp bc she couldn't sign in/out. They both did great and while I felt guilty about not walking them to/from everywhere (moreso now than then), it ended up being nice for me bc I ended up being sick most of the trip and had to tell my 13 yr old to wake me when she got back so I knew she was safe, coming straight back from club. I went further after our Cozumel day to say make sure she came back with others who roomed on our floor bc ppl might be more drunk and unpredictable.

 

If we do end up going again, I think I will take some of the suggestions read here to implement more safety. I do believe it's more about the ppl you don't know, "what happens in Vegas..." attitudes (for both adults and teens), etc. I know there's risk in everything and we've had problems w/in what we thought to be the safest of choices, so my kids know "you just never know..."

 

My question (mostly to myself as it's obvious opinions run the gammet here) is with 5-6 people next cruise, it's cheaper to have 2 cabins then one suite. Adjoining cabins would be the safest, but many say they have their kids across the room from them. We've always had an inside cabin so while we don't mind no light and enjoy the savings, if we got a good balcony deal it might be fun to splurge. The hardest part is one will be 11, still done by 10pm unless we pay extra and pick her up later. The others will be 14, 17, and a 19 yo friend (my son is ahead in school/graduating, so his friends tend to be older) have their programs until midnight and sometimes later. While WE won't be out partying with the 11 yo in her room alone, across the hall seems so far away when on a ship. At this point I honestly don't think she would willingly stay alone so we may have to switch off who stays with her until the others get back and kick us off their bed! lol Not a terrible plan, inconvenient as it may be, but takes away the benefit of having separate rooms, too.;) Decisions...

 

Oh, and I'm always looking for like minded families to travel with, pref with kids in the same age groups, if anyone is thinking about a cruise March18-27ish 2011. :D

[In2why]

This is a very long thread to get through! I had somewhat set ideas before leaving for my cruise with 10 and 13 yo girls NOT to let them sign themselves in/out of clubs and to always be with me when not in club. The teen club didn't even have the option (I could have made a stink about it but chose to just give extra warnings to her instead) and the 9-11 age group had to be able to sign themselves in/out in order to go on group scavenger hunts. Maybe I should have thought more of the "what if's" than her feeling left out if she's the only one back at camp bc she couldn't sign in/out. They both did great and while I felt guilty about not walking them to/from everywhere (moreso now than then), it ended up being nice for me bc I ended up being sick most of the trip and had to tell my 13 yr old to wake me when she got back so I knew she was safe, coming straight back from club. I went further after our Cozumel day to say make sure she came back with others who roomed on our floor bc ppl might be more drunk and unpredictable.

 

If we do end up going again, I think I will take some of the suggestions read here to implement more safety. I do believe it's more about the ppl you don't know, "what happens in Vegas..." attitudes (for both adults and teens), etc. I know there's risk in everything and we've had problems w/in what we thought to be the safest of choices, so my kids know "you just never know..."

 

My question (mostly to myself as it's obvious opinions run the gammet here) is with 5-6 people next cruise, it's cheaper to have 2 cabins then one suite. Adjoining cabins would be the safest, but many say they have their kids across the room from them. We've always had an inside cabin so while we don't mind no light and enjoy the savings, if we got a good balcony deal it might be fun to splurge. The hardest part is one will be 11, still done by 10pm unless we pay extra and pick her up later. The others will be 14, 17, and a 19 yo friend (my son is ahead in school/graduating, so his friends tend to be older) have their programs until midnight and sometimes later. While WE won't be out partying with the 11 yo in her room alone, across the hall seems so far away when on a ship. At this point I honestly don't think she would willingly stay alone so we may have to switch off who stays with her until the others get back and kick us off their bed! lol Not a terrible plan, inconvenient as it may be, but takes away the benefit of having separate rooms, too.;) Decisions...

 

Oh, and I'm always looking for like minded families to travel with, pref with kids in the same age groups, if anyone is thinking about a cruise March18-27ish 2011. :D

 

 

As a Mom of older and younger children, I would worry more about my 11 y/o daughter being with older kids/adults. Statistically bad things happen more often to young girls by people they know then by strangers. I would go with the adjoining rooms if it were me. Also kids do things in packs that they would never think about doing by themselves. In their minds it lessens the guilt, by sharing it. :rolleyes:

[caribbound]

As a Mom of older and younger children, I would worry more about my 11 y/o daughter being with older kids/adults. Statistically bad things happen more often to young girls by people they know then by strangers. I would go with the adjoining rooms if it were me. Also kids do things in packs that they would never think about doing by themselves. In their minds it lessens the guilt, by sharing it. :rolleyes:

 

On our cruise 2 weeks ago, other than port days and sometimes breakfast/dinner, my girls were never with each other. My son would be in a different club if any at all since his friend would be too old and would prefer as much distance as possible from his sisters. He's actually pushing for a guys/girls cabin and told his dad he could have a "sleepover" (very funny patrionizing voice) when dad said not to ruin all HIS vacation fun. ;)

[Crusin6]

I was on a Disney Cruise in December and our tablemates let their kids sign in and out of kids clubs and come and go from the room. At night, their kids would stay in the room while the parents hung out at the bar, etc. The kids were 8 and 13 and they had an inside stateroom.

 

I am just wondering what other people do and if this seems appropriate or not.

 

Jess

Upcoming Carnival Splendor Easter Break March 2010

From your post I gather that the kids were sharing a room with the parents..right? That's one step in the right direction.

 

Even I think that it is ok for a 13yo to watch an 8yo in the cabin by themselves....with one caveat.....the bolt must be in use and the door must not be opened for anyone other than the parents AND the parents must walk the kids to the cabin before they go off to the bars. No way should a rational thinker want their kids to be walking alone to the cabin....sorry..but just way to many eyes could follow them.....

 

 

all of this has been hashed out way too often on these boards....but fortunately one thing that always comes up is....small city of 3000 strangers plus 1000 crew members.....just plain old common sense that the kids get escorted to the cabin.:)

[Chief Cruiser]

IMHO, that would depend on how mature and responsible the children are. I've send some adults who forgot to grow up and some kids who were mature and responsible well beyond their years. To me, chronological age has very little to do with, but in any case, I wouldn't consider it for a child under 12, regardless of their maturity. They do have adjoining staterooms, which would reduce the risk of something going awry greatly. If that is not doable, then I defer back to the maturity and minimum age. You should go by how confortable you are with the idea, not the promises the kids make to you to be able to "have a room to themselves."

 

Just my thoughts. :)

 

Happy Sails!

[mousey]

What's up with all this "going to the bar" stuff? Not all parents let their kids have a little freedom on a ship just to go to a bar! There are other things parents do on ships besides hanging out at bars and discos. Come on! As for all the scary stories about perverts on the ship, or kids falling overboard, etc., when was the last time anyone has ever heard of such a thing happening? It's ludicrous! You're either the type of person that trusts your kids or you're not. I totally agree that very young children shouldn't be left alone, but if older kids have proven to their parents that they are responsible, that they follow the rules the parents have given them, and have never given their parent a problem, I don't see why these kids can't enjoy a little free time for themselves onboard. Having a teen-aged DS I know it's he that wants a little freedom for himself, not us wanting freedom for ourselves. Furthermore, as I said in a previous post, we spend plenty of time together as a family at home so it's not like we have to be together 24/7 on vacation.

[Kurbanfan]

No way should a rational thinker want their kids to be walking alone to the cabin....sorry..but just way to many eyes could follow them.....

 

 

 

I agree with this one! Sometimes I get the heeby jeebys walking back by myself.......isn't it weird that there are like 3,000 people on the ship and when you walk back to your room.....there is nobody around in the hallways:cool: It has nothing to do with maturity or trusting your children.....it has everything to do with not trusting others......

[Tbay-eh]

I think everyone agrees that 7 is too young on own with even a younger sibling. 12 and up is dependent on child and parent comfort.

 

I had a saying when my kids were growing up "I will trust you until you prove that I can't trust you" they looked on this as a responsibility to live up to and I never had a lick of problems from them, other than the usual kid stuff that always happens.