jenndun Posted March 16, 2010 #1 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I have been trying for months to get x to sign for passports and consent to travel. It is offical I will be going to court. Just left a message for my lawyer to call me to get this started. Anyone ever had to go to court for this. What was your experience. Will there be any issues. I can't see how any judge would stop kids from going on vaction. We are planning a family vacation to celebrate mine and my sister college graduation next summer. Our whole family is going (aunts uncles grandparents great grandparents ect). I tried to set up a cruise for this summer with my daughter and x's refused to let her go even threatened to call and have me stopped at port if I took her. I can't plan next years until I have the forms to get passports and to take them. I don't want to get their hopes up and let them down. Also I want to get something giving me permission to take them out of the country every year. I plan to travel and show them the world. I don't want him stopping them. Will they give me permission from now on or will I have to go back every year. This is adding around 1k to the cost of our trip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cb at sea Posted March 16, 2010 #2 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I have no suggestions, but I do feel your pain. Parents should put the kids 1st, instead of being an obstacle to the kid's lives. That said, my BIL "kidnapped" his kids, took them out of the country and kept them for 3+ years.....totally destroyed their lives...they're grown now, and both have MAJOR issues because of the kidnapping..... It's a shame! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MNmomof4 Posted March 16, 2010 #3 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Since you are going to court, in your motion ask the court to include language that you can take her out of the country again and if he refuses to sign any paperwork, then the Court Order will give permission for the future. Mention it to your attorney, he will know how to do it. Keep in mind if you get permission to go out of the country he might request the same from the Court and have it granted also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsulin Posted March 16, 2010 #4 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I worked as a TA at a local travel agency for several years, and have run into this issue a few times while booking group (High School) cruises and land vacations outside the US (mainly Cancun). The kids involved were under 18, and the problem was always an ex refusing to sign the required notarized form allowing the minor to travel outside the country. Usually, the minor was eventually able to convince the non-signing parent to comply, but there were a couple of occasions where the signing parent had to ask for an emergency court-hearing to grant travel for the particular trip. The non-signing parents were notified of the court date on both occasions, but neither showed up, so permission was granted by the judge, but it was a one-time thing. I can recall some late-night frantic calls and faxing or dropping off booking information! Fortunately, the bookings were made months ahead of travel time, but there was one very close call, and I absolutely LOVED being caught in the middle! (Not.) Oh, and BTW- documents for minors were asked for before boarding the ship, and definitely asked for before boarding a flight to Mexico. Good luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stessie Posted March 16, 2010 #5 Share Posted March 16, 2010 You say this is going to cost money and certainly aggrevation to get permission to travel with your children outside the United States. Why not travel within our borders when a passport is not necessary? Does any agreement you have with the father of your children stipulate you are not able to travel out of state with them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notentirelynormal Posted March 16, 2010 #6 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I have been trying for months to get x to sign for passports and consent to travel. It is offical I will be going to court. Just left a message for my lawyer to call me to get this started. Anyone ever had to go to court for this. What was your experience. Will there be any issues. I can't see how any judge would stop kids from going on vaction. We are planning a family vacation to celebrate mine and my sister college graduation next summer. Our whole family is going (aunts uncles grandparents great grandparents ect). I tried to set up a cruise for this summer with my daughter and x's refused to let her go even threatened to call and have me stopped at port if I took her. I can't plan next years until I have the forms to get passports and to take them. I don't want to get their hopes up and let them down. Also I want to get something giving me permission to take them out of the country every year. I plan to travel and show them the world. I don't want him stopping them. Will they give me permission from now on or will I have to go back every year. This is adding around 1k to the cost of our trip. My brother had full legal and physical custody. Then the ex played some games (make that lies) which took two years to resolve where all her allegations were proved false. During that time she was given temporary physical custody. She had her son's passport. My brother went to court, got permission to go, ordered her to give back the passport (which required a police officer to go to the house to get it). The day of the cruise, the step father showed up at school early to take him out for "an appointment" so that he would miss the trip. Oh, and showed him Deep Water just before the kid (12 YO) went scuba diving in the Caribbean too. Scared him to death (I consider this mental child abuse). Paperwork is what won out. He had to keep showing those papers over and over. I don't know about the second question, about future trips, but definitely ask at the time. Can't hurt. Oh, and my brother now has total legal/physical custody back and she's out of their lives again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerif Posted March 16, 2010 #7 Share Posted March 16, 2010 You say this is going to cost money and certainly aggrevation to get permission to travel with your children outside the United States. Why not travel within our borders when a passport is not necessary? Does any agreement you have with the father of your children stipulate you are not able to travel out of state with them? Uh, did you miss the part about it being a multi-generational family trip? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cre Posted March 16, 2010 #8 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I had to tell my daughter that she could not go on our cruise scheduled for 3/19/10 for this same reason. Can you come back and post the outcome of your court proceedings later? I cannot afford a lawyer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenndun Posted March 17, 2010 Author #9 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Thanks everyone. Our papers just say I have to notify him when I get their passports and with any travel plans and he has to do the same. I will let you know what happens. I am hoping once we serve him he will sign so he does not have to go to court. I am just a little worried that the judge will say no. I know it is unlikely. Has anyone ever been told no. This is just stupid. I would not stop him from taking them anywhere. He thinks I will not come back. Which is crazy all my family is here, my job, all my friends ect. He is just trying to hurt me and does not realize he is just hurting the kids. He told my daughter that cruises were for adults and kids had to sit in childcare and watch movies all day. Made he not want to go. It wasn't until her friend told her how much fun they were that see got mad at him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsulin Posted March 17, 2010 #10 Share Posted March 17, 2010 My experiences as a TA bookings for minors of exes (please see my previous post) have - IMO - all been about being vindictive, except for a couple of times. Sometimes it's just naiive ignorance (The "Titanic" thing for cruising, the "Alamo" thing for Mexico. Yes - I've heard these excuses). But usually, it's all about being vindictive, retaliatory, or just plain stupid and stubborn. It's really sad! We've all heard stories of parental kidnapping to foreign countries, but this is really the exception. But it's also why airlines and cruise lines require notarized permission from both parents for a minor child to travel outside the US. I felt caught in the middle several times, but refused to listen to negative talk from ANY parent about their ex. Good luck to everyone facing similar situations, and may cooler heads and common sense prevail! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VaBeachCruisers897 Posted March 17, 2010 #11 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Since you are going to court, in your motion ask the court to include language that you can take her out of the country again and if he refuses to sign any paperwork, then the Court Order will give permission for the future. Mention it to your attorney, he will know how to do it. Keep in mind if you get permission to go out of the country he might request the same from the Court and have it granted also. If the above is true..... book a trial cruise prior to the big cruise..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenndun Posted March 19, 2010 Author #12 Share Posted March 19, 2010 I heard back from my lawyer. It's going to be $500 to fight this in court. Not too bad but still a lot just to go on vacation. I think it will be worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cre Posted March 19, 2010 #13 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Wow ! Hope everything goes well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notentirelynormal Posted March 19, 2010 #14 Share Posted March 19, 2010 I heard back from my lawyer. It's going to be $500 to fight this in court. Not too bad but still a lot just to go on vacation. I think it will be worth it. Ahh, the sweet sound of "not having to worry about it any more". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsulin Posted March 19, 2010 #15 Share Posted March 19, 2010 I heard back from my lawyer. It's going to be $500 to fight this in court. Not too bad but still a lot just to go on vacation. I think it will be worth it. Make sure you don't just get a "one-time" permission order. Get an order that covers taking the minor out of country until he/she turns 18. If you can. I haven't had to go through this, but have dealt with parents and their exes who have. It was really hard not to take sides (as a TA). Good luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi John Posted March 21, 2010 #16 Share Posted March 21, 2010 I heard back from my lawyer. It's going to be $500 to fight this in court. Not too bad but still a lot just to go on vacation. I think it will be worth it. But not for a cruise. Once was for my Grandfathers 90th Bday party, another, was for my brother's wedding, she was the flower girl. Both times, I got a "NO" from the ex, they fell on his weekend. Both times, my attorney petitioned the Court, no trial. Might I suggest if you do "win" this, make it for until the child is 18, and have the EX pay all court costs. I did, (court costs) both times. No problems after that.:D Ofcourse it took him twice to learn the lesson of how not to ne an a$$. Also, suggested reading, "My Ex is a Jerk". Don't remember who wrote it, but it does help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenndun Posted March 21, 2010 Author #17 Share Posted March 21, 2010 But not for a cruise. Once was for my Grandfathers 90th Bday party, another, was for my brother's wedding, she was the flower girl. Both times, I got a "NO" from the ex, they fell on his weekend. Both times, my attorney petitioned the Court, no trial. Might I suggest if you do "win" this, make it for until the child is 18, and have the EX pay all court costs. I did, (court costs) both times. No problems after that.:D Ofcourse it took him twice to learn the lesson of how not to ne an a$$. Also, suggested reading, "My Ex is a Jerk". Don't remember who wrote it, but it does help. Can you tell me where "My Ex is a Jerk" is. I have searched but can not find it. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsulin Posted March 21, 2010 #18 Share Posted March 21, 2010 The current "Judge" shows ultimately have issues like this. Complete with counter-suits. And the involved minor children, of course, are caught in the middle. Very sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi John Posted March 21, 2010 #19 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Can you tell me where "My Ex is a Jerk" is. I have searched but can not find it. Thanks I'm sorry, it's "Joint custody with a jerk". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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