Whatever happened to.....

[ratherbcrzn75]

I wonder how responses on this thread would be different if the "offending" action was smoke from another balcony rather than chair noises. Not trying to start up another war - one seems to be going already - just wondering.

But I would still feel the same. I am not a smoker and I'm also not one of those people that get all up in arms regarding others who smoke--so maybe I'm not who you are directing it to. If I did smoke and someone made a snide comment about it--I would again kill em with kindness. Apologize and say I will try not to blow smoke in their area. Again, manners or lack thereof are not shown by the way others treat you , but in the way you treat others. :rolleyes:

[Faith of the Heart]

Apparently I am in the minority here. From now on, I should respond to rudeness and obscene language by complying.

 

Interesting that it the message you are pulling out of many of the comments. I think what many have actually said is one should respond to a complaint about something one is doing that is rude, in an appropriate manner (i.e stopping rude or bothersome behaviour one might be doing), regardless of how the message is conveyed.

 

 

I also stand by my position that if everyone used common decent and polite language, particularly when communicating a concern or complaint to a total stranger, we would all be better off.

 

I think everyone posting agreed with this. So, while great that you "stand by your position", I don't recall much disagreement requiring you to stand by your potion as if it is contrary to many. Many simply added that if everyone also used common decency and polite manners with regards to their own actions that affect, may affect, or may reasonably be assumed to affect others that we would all be better off.

[GayleR]

I'm pretty confident that when the OP first posted this he thought most of us would agree with him. We all know that didn't happen. I find it hypocritical that the dragging of chairs above him bothered him, but he thought it was ok to drag his own chairs on his balcony.

 

And the best post on this thread has to be this one! I almost choked from laughing so hard! :D

 

Just spray 'em with skunk piss.:rolleyes:

 

What will I take from this thread? I will PICK UP my chairs on my balcony in September if I decide to move them.

 

I must say that I enjoyed reading this thread.

[imacruiser2]

and how about not letting your door slam, when going in and out, your neighbors will really appreciate it whether they know it or not. I know I would Thanks

[trailercruiser]

The botton line here and I've said it over and over again, it only takes a moment to pick up your chair to move it and it only takes a little more energy to close the door so it doesn't slam. If we all practiced this kind of behavior from day one, there would be no need for any comments from anyone.

You left out smoking on your balcony when neighbors are out on their balcony, talking loud in MDR after a few drinks, worrying about what someone else is wearing, yelling at kids for having fun ect....;)

[Medtech2]

Again, you are missing the point. In this day and age I suppose I may be somewhat of a dinosaur. Our activity on our balcony was not deliberately contrived to annoy. I try to respect everyone, The form and attitude of the communication I heard from my fellow guest was sarcastic and rude. If it had been civil and polite, then there would have been no further conflict. Call me whatever you wish, make any judgement you want, but a politely worded communication would have resolved the whole affair.

 

Again I will repeat that I heard no complaints prior to that time. It is obvious that you have come down on the side the gentlemen below. And while I respect everyone's opinion, I must respectfully disagree. Even a simple polite not posted with a sticky on our cabin door would have done fine. I always respect the wishes of others, as long as they are conveyed in a civil manner.

I don't have the time or inclination to read every post, but, manners aside, true class comes with the ability to put those around you at ease, regardless of their own behavior...

[trailercruiser]

Just spray 'em with skunk piss.:rolleyes:

It's called skunk water and let me tell you son, it works 100%. ;)

[C Cruise Dude]

Posts like this make me appreciate our nice dark, QUIET, cheap, inside cabin......( no response required ) :)

 

mrpayroll, I just booked my first balcony. I hope I won't end up feeling the same. I have heard of more good experiences than bad.

[C Cruise Dude]

I don't have the time or inclination to read every post, but, manners aside, true class comes with the ability to put those around you at ease, regardless of their own behavior...

 

Medtech2, I could not have said it better. Thank you. Sorry for the double post.

[wendymac]

Oh boy when I read threads like this it really makes me happy that I chose an inside cabin.:D

[Flatland]

95% of responses so far believe the OP reacted poorly in the situation. Me too.

 

We are always very concerned that our noise could bother our vacation neighbors so we won't even let our doors slam or latch so that anyone could hear it. We pick up our chairs and set them down lightly. We don't drag our chairs. We've had rude neighbors do this before and it is why we don't.

 

To say multiple times that nobody complained before is a statement and confirmation of ignorance.

Kev

[jzygail]

OK, I'm going to go there. There are 2 sides to every story. Knowing other people are directly beneath you trying to enjoy their cruise also, it would have been the proper thing to do to pick up your chairs and move them quietly or drag them once to an area where you would have been comfortable keeping them. I have experienced "upstairs neighbors" and know how irritating it can be when they have no regard for those beneath them. Also, nice Thesaurus.

 

I'm thinking there are likely 3 sides--I bet the neighbors of both these yahoos had some interesting stories to tell about The Feud when they got home ;) It must have been right speshul to be living anywhere near these folks during the cruise. :eek:

[michelle1836]

Valid point. But I have a real problem with allowing the more "base" nature of civil discourse to become the mainstream. Be polite to me, and you will receive my full cooperation. I fear that I may be in the minority on this, but I'm too old now to change the way I feel about things like this.

 

Again, A polite request at the beginning would have avoided any further problems. That was the whole point of my post. Polite language costs nothing, and often is far more effective than the alternative.

 

Agree

 

Based on what you wrote, apparently the "gentleman" was beneath you. :)

 

disagree!

 

sorry this thread took a turn for the worst! yeesh!

[Warm Breezes]

Agree

 

 

 

disagree!

 

sorry this thread took a turn for the worst! yeesh!

 

It took a turn for the worst because the OP is pointing fingers at his neighbor for not being polite, when it was his own impolite behavior of constantly scraping the chairs across the deck that started the whole issue. The OP could have quickly resolved the issue by being polite and apologizing and ceasing his impolite behavior. Instead he ignored his neighbors sarcastic request and continued his impolite behavior. This prompted his neighbor to resort to foul language which the OP then came on here to complain about.

 

I think most of us are bothered by the OP's self-righteous attitude and response to the conflict and his refusal to take responsibility for his part in making this the fiasco it became.

[michelle1836]

maybe so but perhaps the OP was not aware how much noise the chair scraping was making? I always get balconies and not that we move the chairs around a lot, but never really thought of the noise. I will definitely think of the person under me now. I also just get a regular balcony.

[Warm Breezes]

maybe so but perhaps the OP was not aware how much noise the chair scraping was making? I always get balconies and not that we move the chairs around a lot, but never really thought of the noise. I will definitely think of the person under me now. I also just get a regular balcony.

 

Even if he was blissfully unaware of his impolite behavior, it was brought to his attention by his neighbors sarcastic remark. The polite response from him would have been to apologize and stop scraping his chairs. He did neither. Instead of instantly resolving the issue, he made it worse by continuing his impolite behavior after it was brought to his attention. To top it off he comes on here all self-righteous complaining that his neighbor was impolite and stating how he is the paragon of politeness:rolleyes:.

[LitchfieldParkCruisers]

Maybe the guy below genuinely wanted you to move your chairs around more...he even said "Thanks" in advance just to show his appreciation. Sounds like a rather polite fella with a simple request.

 

LPC

[gogetter]

yelling at kids for having fun ect....;)

 

I don't mind kids having fun at all. i wish them the best at being kids. However they are very unaware of their surroundings and don't have a problem doing cannonballs in the pool 2 inches away from someone.

 

Better yet is running around screaming at the top of their lungs. I never understood this....ok run around jump around.......but yelling and screaming? That would lead me to believe somethings wrong........

 

Should this thread be locked, moved or deleted? Have we all said our peace? LOL...OP stated his last comment. Just goes to show you how people can't own up to the fact they were wrong...Nope i'm not going to talk about it anymore.....anyone else?

[Rena921]

95% of responses so far believe the OP reacted poorly in the situation. Me too.

 

We are always very concerned that our noise could bother our vacation neighbors so we won't even let our doors slam or latch so that anyone could hear it. We pick up our chairs and set them down lightly. We don't drag our chairs. We've had rude neighbors do this before and it is why we don't.

 

To say multiple times that nobody complained before is a statement and confirmation of ignorance.

Kev

 

Maybe the OP was that neighbor! :eek:

[MissDiva1]

maybe so but perhaps the OP was not aware how much noise the chair scraping was making? I always get balconies and not that we move the chairs around a lot, but never really thought of the noise. I will definitely think of the person under me now. I also just get a regular balcony.

 

I'm sorry but I have a hard time believing anyone wouldn't know how much noise a chair makes when it is scraped over teak wood on a balcony.........even a deaf person would be able to feel the vibration:rolleyes:

Here's a clue......if you can hear it so can everyone else in the vicinity.........just like letting the doors slam.......

[D-Roc]

Your not going to get manners on the internet so don't expect for many to agree with you. These same people saying you were wrong obviously then must agree that if I start my vulgar language toward my balcony neighbor about there smoking annoying my use of the balcony, the guy must stop his smoking because he is being rude. They are hypocrites if they disagree with this. It is legal to move your chairs around and its legal to smoke on your balcony. So the next time I "F" my neighbor for smoking on his balcony I will know I have all these CCers on my side.;)

 

This is the first thing I thought of when reading the responses. If it was about smoking the OP would be in the right and the guy below would have been told to suck it up (no pun intended)

[Complextlt]

...For what it's worth

I like what some one said. The guy DID ask him to move his chairs a little more AND said thanks. My initial reaction to that would be...to grant him his wish.

 

HOWEVER. I probably would think it through a little and decide NOT to do that.

 

OP said he had a good upbringing, yada, yada. And the gentleman below was rude. I agree. He WAS rude. And he shouldn't have been.

 

So, I suppose I understand that OP would have felt that the gentleman's behavior was beneath his own behavior.

 

If you feel that your behavior is better than that, wouldn't you do the "better" thing? Realize that the gentleman probably wasn't raised properly and doesn't even know how to act with class. Forgive him for that (you know, DON'T JUDGE?) and lead by example.

 

I also agree with someone on here who said if you had responded with politeness, the gentleman would have been embarrassed by his rudeness.

 

THAT SAID. It is much easier said than done, especially when you are not in the heat of the situation. I will be the first to admit that my passive agressiveness many times will get the best of me. So, it's easy for me to take my time, think about it objectively, and come up with what I believe to be the best response, while sitting here. But, I may not have done the same thing at the time, unfortunately, and I am guessing this may be the same for many others.

 

I, like every one of you, am in this journey called life, and I hope to reach a point of maturity when I can react to all situations in the best manner possible. Realizing of course, that I will never be perfect.

 

Oh...and another point, and this has become increasingly clear to me over the last few years. It seems that even if you are gracious and polite to other people, sooooo many of them (an alarming number, really) just don't give a $ hit.:mad: But, I still try to be nice, cuz it's the right thing to do. It's a thankless job many times.

 

Okay, back to your regularly scheduled program. :)

[D-Roc]

maybe so but perhaps the OP was not aware how much noise the chair scraping was making? I always get balconies and not that we move the chairs around a lot, but never really thought of the noise. I will definitely think of the person under me now. I also just get a regular balcony.

 

And this is what many are misreading in regards to the OP's subsequent posts. he explains that he never heard any noise from scraping chairs when he was under the Lido deck, even though he was concerned he would. Since he did not have that issue himself it is reasonable to conclude that others below him would not hear anything either.

 

And I can see his point (and I am not agreeing with what happened after the fact). If any person started raising his/her voice and saying things in a sarcastic manner or just beuing plain rude, should you always comply and alter your own behaviour? To me that is sending a message that rude behaviour gets results.

[MissDiva1]

And this is what many are misreading in regards to the OP's subsequent posts. he explains that he never heard any noise from scraping chairs when he was under the Lido deck, even though he was concerned he would. Since he did not have that issue himself it is reasonable to conclude that others below him would not hear anything either.

 

And I can see his point. If any person started raising his/her voice and saying things in a sarcastic manner or just beuing plain rude, should you always comply and alter your own behaviour? To me that is sending a message that rude behaviour gets results.

 

The only person mis reading is you.........he was under the serenity deck and heard lots of chair scraping........please read the whole thread.....

 

Never heard from him before that. Is it possible....yes. But based on a lifetime of experience, I doubt it. The chair scraping was by no means constant. As I stated before, we have never received any complaints on any of our previous cruises.

 

That brings up another question......it's amazing that CCL with all the resources at their disposal can't specify deck chairs that can be moved about without making that annoying sound.

 

2 years ago we were in cabins on deck 8 on Carnival Legend and we worried about noise from chairs moving around on the Lido (deck 9). And we had no problems with noise. This time since our cabins were directly below the new "Adults only" Serenity deck, we anticipated even less noise. But the outcome was that we heard more chair-scraping than ever before. Perhaps I should have shouted rude and obscene language to those folks on the serenity deck..... I'm sure that would have produced positive results. :cool: Instead, we chose to just deal with it and not let it adversely affect our cruise.

[vegasnine]

I too can't believe this thread is still going. Dead Horse anyone? Lord....