Cruising with a Baby - Please do not touch!

[sail7seas]

 

There are many of us who enjoy seeing generations of a family cruising together.

I get a lot of pleasure seeing gram and grandad, adult children with their young children all seated together at dinner.

 

I also am one who does not touch a baby unless invited to do so.

 

How can I win in this contrary atmosphere?

 

I'll put on blinders and just walk on by. If I don't turn head left or right, I hopefully can avoid getting tugged into a hates kids argument or touches kids and might steal baby horror. :eek:

 

Can't win for trying. :rolleyes:

 

DH and I have booked holiday cruises to sail on our own so we can't be trying to avoid sailing with families, can we? When would we be more apt to encounter many children on a cruise than over the holidays? :confused:

[kazu]

I think most of the regular posters have shown a well balanced view towards families bringing babies on HAL ships, however, there have been some posts on this thread and the Neptune Lounge thread which have left me open mouthed.

 

Particularly, the posts equating parents who bring their babies on cruises as being part of the selfish "me" generation.

 

As the mother to two young children living far from my family network, I experience both the highs and, let's be honest, the lows of motherhood. I personally, choose not to cruise with my young children ( I would spend too much time stressing about crying babies and worrying about the safety of my overactive 2 year old) but can fully understand those mums who do. And am shocked at how they have been castigated by several members of this forum.

 

I agree Glenda. I did not like the references to children as 'rugrats' or 'ankle biters' either. :(

[sail7seas]

Count me in agreement with that as well.......

 

[BumperII]

Thanks to OP and all those who have posted here. I just sat here and read this entire thread, it is one of the most entertaining and insightful threads I've seen on CC for quite a while. You have provided food for thought and a fair number of chuckles in the reading.

For our retirement, we chose to live in a family neighborhood. We have every thing from baby strollers to tired old ancient decrepit curmugeons. And I am at ease with all of them! An elderly lady once pointed out to me that a neighborhood without children is a neighborhood that is dying.

I don't know if the problem is so much a generation gap as it is one of an acceptance gap. We live in a society where parents have almost absolute authority over their children. Unfortunately, they don't always accept the absolute responsibility that goes along with that privilege.

The one thing I cannot possibly know is what is going on in another parent's mind. The idea that the rules have changed in the past generation, to me, doesn't hold much water. So, I'll just take it for granted that you don't want me to touch your child. But when I see a young family with an adorable youngster, a cleverly concieved comment like: "She is adorable!" seems of foster good will without risking the offense of uninvited touching.

[Arwen]

Erica,

 

With all due respect, if I was concerned about my baby contracting a disease from strangers, I would not take them on a cruise, to the mall, to church, etc. where they will be exposed to crowds. Babies are like puppies - people are attracted to them.

 

Roz

 

So true! People are naturally attracted to infants.

 

On a past cruise, a young couple showed up each night in the MDR with their infant in a stroller. The baby was no problem...very quiet. What did bother me is that the mother had draped a thin baby blanket over the stroller. The parents were also in the casino and everywhere else with the baby. And always with the blanket over the stroller.

 

The parents were obviously trying to protect their baby from stranger touch and germs, but the blanket over the stroller wasn't safe either. I kick myself for not having the nerve to say something to them. A baby rebreathing their own carbon dioxide is NOT safe.

 

A better choice is a special stroller netting or cover that shades the baby but allows air to circulate and also keeps well meaning people away from baby. This is what I would do if I had to take an infant out in public.

[drcpa]

This reminds me of the female comedian's joke about when she was pregnant how many people would walk up and rub her stomach. (Sorry, this won't come out funny as I write it, but it was funny in the telling.)

Her point was that for some reason as long as she was pregnant people felt it was okay...but imagine what would happen if a stranger walked up to any other woman and ran their hand up and down her belly while commenting excitedly on her shape.:o

[kyriecat]

I think the people who posted about generation and location gaps have a point about play with baby vs. ignore baby. My mom is in her mid-60s and lives in a fairly small town. When we are out, Mom will smile or wave at small children/babies and make comments about how cute they are. If the parent seems amiable, Mom will even tickle a baby foot or play with a toddler's hair. That seems perfectly acceptable around her hometown. Parents there seem to like showing off their kids. The parents take it as a compliment when people notice their children in a positive manner.

 

I am almost 40 and live in a suburb of a large metropolitan area. When Mom visits me, she'll be friendly with the small children just like she is in her hometown. Parents are much more protective around here so they react differently. It surprises Mom when she waves at a toddler and the dad pulls the child closer to him or when Mom makes a comment about the cuteness of a baby and the mom immediately covers the whole baby with a blanket. It seems like some parents think everyone is out to steal their children. I make it a point not to look at children when I am out. It's much easier to ignore children than risk upsetting a gator-mom.

[mermaid72]

I have a feeling you and I could be very good friends!!!:):)

You got it Missy!!

[mermaid72]

Yep Miss Esther, I think so too!

 

I find it hard to believe that the thousands of generations gone by that raised millions of babies, permitted, no, actually encouraged others to admire, even tickle & kiss their babies without undo concern, has now switched gears and is now living in fear that germs & perverts & nasty people will somehow damage their tiny offspring.

 

How did we ever raise our kids in the old days? How did we all survive? Amazing!

[traveler111]

Since I would not know the parents' feeling about stangers touching their baby, I would not do it. Just as one would not touch a stranger's face etc.; a baby should have the same respect.

[donaldsc]

This reminds me of the female comedian's joke about when she was pregnant how many people would walk up and rub her stomach. (Sorry, this won't come out funny as I write it, but it was funny in the telling.)

Her point was that for some reason as long as she was pregnant people felt it was okay...but imagine what would happen if a stranger walked up to any other woman and ran their hand up and down her belly while commenting excitedly on her shape.:o

 

I just had a thought that will turn this discussion (if you want to call it that) in a completely new direction. Do the people who feel it is right to rub the stomach of a woman who is pregnant also feel it is right to rub the breasts of a woman who is nursing?

 

To be consistent, they should.

 

DON

[esther e]

Yep Miss Esther, I think so too!

 

I find it hard to believe that the thousands of generations gone by that raised millions of babies, permitted, no, actually encouraged others to admire, even tickle & kiss their babies without undo concern, has now switched gears and is now living in fear that germs & perverts & nasty people will somehow damage their tiny offspring.

 

How did we ever raise our kids in the old days? How did we all survive? Amazing!

 

 

We grew up with asbestos, lead paint, Sevin (which I still sob over not having for the weeds), DDT, etc.

 

Funny story, but very true: we had a mailman who had a hobby of taking photos of the children on his route. He came to each house and snapped a photo for his album. Never gave a thought of him being a pervert. This back in the 60's.

 

Also, my neighbor didn't drive and her kindergartener missed the school bus one morning. Not to fear -- the mailman (yes, we had a milkman) put her in the milk truck and drove her to school. He also would put the milk in the refrigerator if we weren't home.

 

Ah, those were the days!!!!

 

Oh yeah, we never had to wrestle open a bottle of aspirin. Just flip off the cap.

 

Sigh.....

[bcd2010]

I can't help but wonder what the psychological and sociological effects of raising children in such a fearful manner are.

[celle]

Since I would not know the parents' feeling about stangers touching their baby, I would not do it. Just as one would not touch a stranger's face etc.; a baby should have the same respect.

 

I agree with you. It does come down to respect, and politeness.

 

I just think you should not touch anyone, anywhere, no matter what their age, unless you have been given permission.

 

So, while I love to touch, hold and cuddle babies, I would not do it unless the parent had first said it was OK.

[ariawoman]

I just had a thought that will turn this discussion (if you want to call it that) in a completely new direction. Do the people who feel it is right to rub the stomach of a woman who is pregnant also feel it is right to rub the breasts of a woman who is nursing?

 

To be consistent, they should.

 

DON

 

 

Sorry but I had to at least give don a kudos for trying on this one :-) Well played, my friend!

[Btands]

I'm happy to hear that you had a great time on the Veendam. We were on that cruise last year with our children and loved it!

[photomikey]

It's nice to hear all the ways the current generation has ruined the world, coming from the older generation.

 

It is particularly enlightening to know that their generation didn't do anything that the prior generation would consider foolish.

[esther e]

It's nice to hear all the ways the current generation has ruined the world, coming from the older generation.

 

It is particularly enlightening to know that their generation didn't do anything that the prior generation would consider foolish.

 

Never said you ruined the world. Life back in the Ice Age was easier and with very little pressure. Less people, too. And obliviousness to the dangers of mankind. The media was not so bold or verbal either. I'm sure every generation thought theirs was best. But they wrong -- mine was best.;)

[docksider21]

 

When would we be more apt to encounter many children on a cruise than over the holidays? :confused:

 

 

In the summertime, on Carnival, RCCL, or Disney. :D

[sail7seas]

HAL doesn't sail the Caribbean in the summer and we are all about HAL. :D

 

We no longer sail any cruise line other than HAL. .... ;)

 

[DeirdreTours]

The new "rule" of not touching (or really, even interacting with without being invited to by the parents) babies is part of a much larger societal shift regarding children. Up until quite recently, children were considered to belong to the entire community. Not only would people touch babies, they would correct a child getting into trouble. Of course, there was much more of a consensus then about what constituted "trouble" and what sort of correction was appropriate.

 

Now, children are really viewed as optional possessions of their parents. A poster on this thread even made the remark that everyone should remember the rule "don't touch it if it doesn't belong to you". As if a child were an expensive handbag.

 

Today, I would never reach out to a baby I didn't know. No one would dare ask an unrelated child to stop throwing rocks at window. Frankly, in some areas, I wonder if peopel would even stop a small child from wandering out into traffic. It saddens me that many of my generation have become shrewish and neurotically protective in their "parenting"-- as many have pointed out, there is vastly more disease risk in a daycare center than in a group of middle aged and older cruisers.

[BumperII]

We no longer sail any cruise line other than HAL. .... ;)

 

 

Same here. Once we found HAL, we tried cruises on two other lines. Nothing else could compare. We have cruised HAL ever since.

[CtheW0rld]

...No one would dare ask an unrelated child to stop throwing rocks at window. Frankly, in some areas, I wonder if peopel would even stop a small child from wandering out into traffic. It saddens me that many of my generation have become shrewish and neurotically protective in their "parenting"-- as many have pointed out, there is vastly more disease risk in a daycare center than in a group of middle aged and older cruisers.

 

i most certainly would correct a child throwing rocks. i've even told them to be quiet - when their parents refuse - in setting such as restaurants where screaming and running around is not appropriate.

 

i claim my right as a second-hand parent when i'm subjected to unruly kids intruding into my space.

[kazu]

Same here. Once we found HAL, we tried cruises on two other lines. Nothing else could compare. We have cruised HAL ever since.

 

We have done a number of other cruise lines - I still prefer HAL. Mind you, I haven't done the luxury lines yet ;)

[Faith of the Heart]

We disembarked from the Veendam this morning, and I would have to guess that no less than 50 complete strangers felt the need to touch our baby at some point during the cruise. Some would reach down and grab her foot. Others rubbed her hair or her cheek. Some tried to play with her hands. I understand that our daughter is adorable, and she smiles at everyone with a look that simply beams love for all. But in an environment where hand washing is promoted (but not necessarily observed) at every turn, it was difficult for me to relax with so many people trying to touch the baby.

 

For those of you who are among those who like to touch strangers babies, please understand that I am not trying to be rude. But when you're somewhere far from home and there is a concern for things such as norovirus, parents need to exercise caution, especially with little ones who are not fully vaccinated due to their young age.

 

Just had to voice my concern here. Thanks for understanding.

Erica

 

funny one person's problem, is something that another would almost die for-the problem of having a child to worry about others touching with their potentially germ-y hands. But, yeah, people shouldn't touch strangers no matter their age...no matter how cute they are. What you need to do is politely ask them not to touch your child.