Has anyone attended a Royal Caribbean Meet & Mingle?

[AdamOfCanaveral]

Was wondering if any family members have attended a Royal Caribbean Meet & Mingle and, if so, whether they felt comfortable.

 

I've signed up my partner and myself for the M & M on our April 17th Mariner of the Seas cruise and am now having some doubts about showing up.

 

Any advice?

[kwokpot]

AdamofGaithersburg:

 

I hope you don't take offence to my advice, it's meant as both an asnwer to your question and a general comment on questions like yours.

 

There seems to be alot of questions about how gay men and women will feel on a regular, non gay-chartered event. These questions seem a bit odd to me since in most cases, there is very little discussion about the how the poster in question generally lives their lives; in other words, are they in the closet at work and in the gerneral public, or do they live there lives as out gay & lesbian people. I think that would make a HUGE difference in how one perceives his/her cruiseship vacation experience.

 

A meet & greet session (not a FOD mixer) is going to be no different than meeting a bunch of people in general setting. I'm not quite sure why many gays and lesbians feel a cruise ship is going to be that different than any other general setting.

 

Before my partner & I decided cruises as a vacation option, the issue was whether we would feel 'trapped' or bored on a ship, not whether we would have a problem with the other passengers.

 

After 8 cruises, none of them gay or on premium lines, I don't find interacting with the passengers any different than when I go to a restaurant, hotel, moviehouse, theater, or for that matter, when I go to the office. You will find people that are nice, mean, smart, dumb, condesending, accommodating, attractive, unattractive, bigoted, cosmopolitian, ....you get the picture.

 

Now, if you lead a closeted, keep-to-yourself type of life, and nobody knows that you're gay and have a partner, well then, my question to you is what do you do when you're on a land-based vacation? Again, my experiences on a cruiseship vacation vs a land-based vacation are not any different. Even in 2005, there are hotel front desks that will automatically assign me a 2 bedded room when my parter and I check in. On the other hand, when enjoying a land resort's swwimming pool and sun deck, my partner & I have never had any issues, ever, with any guests or staff.

 

The point of my post is that a non-chartered cruise vacation is going to have the same type of people that you meet in every day life, from around the country and the world. How YOU feel and interact is based on your own issues of being gay and lesbian. If you do not lead your life as an out individual (And I'm not making a judgement here), then you will encounter the same issues on a cruise vacation.

[KruzDude]

Wow! Kwokpot, you put a lot of thought into that post, and for the most part, I agree. I think a lot of gay and lesbian couples consider a combination of the things you mentioned that you and your partner consider (bored and trapped). I think the reason so many gay and lesbian couples ask if a non-gay chartered cruise is "gay friendly" is because they are afraid of being "trapped" with a lot of hateful, mean people.

 

I think in a land-based vacation, you always have the option to flee or run elsewhere. However, in the middle of the ocean, that's not always a possibility (unless of course you are running to your stateroom!).

 

One last thing I think is important to keep in mind when gay and lesbian couples book a cruise is the departure port (and, yes I know there will always be an exception to this generality I am about to make). People usually look at the departure port as a key element in their decision of which cruise to book. Remember that some ports are deep in the heart of the Bible belt and other ports are located in some of the most liberal states we have. That may have an impact on the passenger mix. Just food for thought.

 

Just remember, that no matter what: the crowd will be mixed -- just as in the "real world" -- as Kwokpot pointed out. So while you can try to pick the best departure ports, you really never know what your gonna get.

 

To date, I have never heard of any one cruise line that is particularly hateful to gay and lesbian passengers. However, I think it's fair to continue to ask the question of the original poster just in case someone has had a particularly bad experience.

 

Just my two cents ...

 

 

:)

[greenskpr1]

As someone who has 27 cruises on RCCL I have always had a great time at the meet & mingle party and also to chat with people before the cruise.

So go for and have a ball. People will treat you like you treeat them.

[Robb]

My partner and I have been on several RCCL cruises and have always attended the 'meet and mingle' parties. They do the same on Celebrity and we attend them as well. We are always very involved with the cruise message boards (not so much this one, but all the others here on cruise critic), even so far as organizing extra meetings for the groups, meeting for dinners off shore and taking shore excursions together. Never have we met anyone in a cruise critic group who was in the least offensive toward us.

 

I think a lot of it has to do with one's attitude and presentation. We always treat everyone else as if they are as good as we feel about ourselves, never pushing or flaming (we are too old for that anyway). And, if someone may be offended by our presence, it is just their loss and we forgive them.

 

Happy sailing

[kenth59]

My partner and I have been on 3 cruises with RCCL and gone to every meet and mingle and been the only gay couple at them with approx 20-30 other people. We have never been made to feel uncomfortable at any of them and have made some great friends that we stay in contact with. I guess it is how you approach it, if you go in feeling uncomfortable and expecting the worst then it probably won't be enjoyable. Just go expecting to meet some great people and you should be fine. Have a great time on your cruise! :D

[CruiseAtlanta]

Thanks for posting your response KruzDude! I will be going on my first cruise on the Mariner just as Adam (but on the May1). I too have asked similar questions.

 

Now my partner and I are out and completely comfortable in just about any situation, however, we still wouldn't put ourselves into a potentially dangerous situation knowingly. After the great responses from several posters, we are completely comfortable taking part in every aspect of our upcoming trip.

 

The questions are asked because we all look for advice on situations that we have not been in before or are unfamilar territory. Who better to ask then folks just like us who have already been there.

 

The questions are asked because, as a "community", we need to look out for each other!

 

Thanks!

D.

[guernseyguy]

Adam,

 

To answer your question - yes, me & my partner went to a 'meet & mingle' on RCCL - no issues - and we are sufficiently different in terms of both ages & ethnicities for people to stop wondering whether we are 'just buddies'.

 

One question I have for you is which voyage are you going on? On a 12 night Transatlantic (which is what we did) you will have a significantly different demographic from a 5 night booze cruise....so, know your audience.

 

However, I would guess that the Cruise Critic crowd in general are reasonably au courant & should not get phased. We spoke to some Ohio voters who had just re-elected President Bush & they were perfectly charming. You will also get to meet the cruise director & see whether there will be subsequent 'Friends of Dorothy' parties - apparantly they are banned on RCCL, so we were l8r invited to a 'Friend of Fred' (for arguements sake) party - which was great fun.

 

Life's too short - enjoy!

 

Peter & Anto

[tadjr]

I did the Transatlantic on RCCL Splendour of the Seas back in Nov and had a ball at the M&M. I am gay, but my travel partner isnt. We just went to meet and talk to the people we had been chatting with on the board. We never really got into a discussion of our "relationship" and I dont even know if people were wondering/interested. We went to meet friends we had made online and talk about what we were going to do on the cruise and about our other cruises. It was also nice to see people in port we knew and could talk to. I had actually met someone in the G&L board that I met at the M&M and the leader of the pack (Hi Mems if you're lurking) even came to the G&L roll call thread to specifically invite us over to the main roll call thread. Go have a good time and dont worry about what everyone is wondering. If it comes up deal with it as you will at dinner or if you had met someone in town. If you dont want to meet or talk with someone move on, thats why its call "Meet and Mingle...." ;)

[Jerry & Kirk]

My experience was NOTHING like the rest of yours. My partner and I scheduled a M & M on a RCCL ship (can't remember which one) but my partner came down with a bad cold and backed out. I was going to stay in the cabin with him but he insisted that I go since there was nothing better going on around the ship at that hour, so I went on my own. I arrived a little early and was surprised to find a packed room. I ordered a drink and before it arrived a women approached me and engaged me in conversation. Within a few minutes she invited me for a drink after the meeting and hinted about having dinner together. At that point, I told her I was gay and she RAN like hell!!! I was hit-on three more times (and I'm just your average looking Joe). One women even suggested we take a stroll on deck to get some fresh air and get out of the crowded stuffy room.....yikes! Of course I told her that I was gay, and when I did, she was gone in FLASH, just like the others. As it turned out, once I exposed myself, no one wanted to know anything about me, my partner, our lives, or anything. NEVER again, alone!!! Hmmmmm, maybe I should have worn a Rainbow T shirt to the M & M??????

 

On the other side of the coin, we recently went to a meeting on the Island Princess TOGETHER and we were treated very well by the other folks, but we never got close to any of them....their choice.

 

Jerry

[garykool81]

Adam --

 

Where in the Gaithersburg area are you? My partner and I were in Gaithersburg, then Rockville, and now have purchased a home right north in Germantown.

 

It's always nice to meet other cruise fans on these boards who are in the DC-metro area.

[AdamOfCanaveral]

Gary -

We're in the Village Overlook condominiums - near Lakeforest Mall. Judging by all the cruises in your signature, the real estate business must be good.:) Adam

[daviddfld]

We've done a bunch of sailings on Celebrity and have always felt welcome at the meet & mingle get-togethers. Generally we get to know a lot of people beforehand on the CruiseCritic threads that pertain to our sailing.

[garykool81]

Gary -

We're in the Village Overlook condominiums - near Lakeforest Mall. Judging by all the cruises in your signature, the real estate business must be good.:) Adam

 

Adam --

 

haha...it is doing well, but it is more that we are excellent at managing money than being anything close to wealthy...I can only dream LOL.

 

Oh, you're not too far from us at all. We are right off exit 13B for Middlebrook Road, right across from Criswell Honda on I-270...near the Germantown Town Center and all that stuff.

 

Definitely email me...it'd be great to maybe meet up sometime for drinks/dinner or whatever.

 

My email address is vanf3 (at) comcast (dot) net

 

Looking forward to hearing from ya!

[tadjr]

At that point, I told her I was gay and she RAN like hell!!! I was hit-on three more times (and I'm just your average looking Joe). One women even suggested we take a stroll on deck to get some fresh air and get out of the crowded stuffy room.....yikes! Of course I told her that I was gay, and when I did, she was gone in FLASH, just like the others.

Jerry

 

 

Silly guy, they were looking for a hook up for the week and they just knew they werent going to get anywhere with you! ;) Too many other guys in the room they had to try to hook before the single guys were all gone.

[AdamOfCanaveral]

Thanks to all of you for the advice and guidance. I'm now looking forward to the Mix and Mingle on the Mariner.

[Jerry & Kirk]

TADJR,

 

You are so insightful, I never thought of that senerio...duh! If I ever go to another M&M I'll leave my rose colored glasses at home. Thanks for cluing me in.

 

Jerry

[Rotterdam]

I found that meeting people onboard is very easy - I have no problem with letting someone know who I am. That being said I've never had a bad experience. If I did - I would view it(very momentarily) as the other persons loss.

 

I want to live a life filled with wonderful experiences. As far as meeting those that are ignorant & cruel - I take it as a learning experience - there are others in this world less happy & certainly misguided in their humanity.

 

As far as single women - get use to it. It seems to me once you hit the mid 30's the women start hitting on us(thats what happened to me). Yes you have the few that feel they have a week to get what they want(from a quickie to a marriage proposal). If the person is intelligent, well rounded & thoughtful they will take the gay news gracefully. (I certainly realize this generality applies to both men & women / gay & straight).

 

Several years ago(Iwas in my early 30's(I'm now in my mid to late 40's)) a women came by my table as I dined with a date that she was wearing winter white & looked great. She overheard my comment(I did not mean for her to hear me). Later on her way out of the restaurant she casually dropped her business card in front of me & said "call me & we'll have lunch".

 

My date & I laughed(after she left). She turned out to be a reporter for the NY Times!

 

Most people are good & certainly interesting.

[digby]

What is the purpose of these M & M parties? Is it a time for singles to meet each other or do married couples go too. If it is a singles party, then I would not go with my partner.

[tadjr]

What is the purpose of these M & M parties? Is it a time for singles to meet each other or do married couples go too. If it is a singles party, then I would not go with my partner.

 

The M&M parties are just the people who have been posting/reading here on the Cruise Critic board. There were all types at the one I went to. It was nice to finally meet the people you have been chatting with online. We never did anything with them as a group after meeting, but some of them did get together every night for a cocktail before dinner and some did things together in port. We ran into a couple here and there in port or the disco at night. It was a chance to just get to say hi and maybe make some new friends. They had food and drinks available and we spent about 30-45 mins there chatting. It wasnt really planned as a hookup spot I dont think. Thats why they have the "Singles party" onboard.

[DallasSteve]

Hi all.

 

Just wanted to share my "two cents' worth" as well. Just came off my 8th cruise, which was a month ago with a gay friend of mine, on the Rhapsody. From every angle we could tell, we were the only gay guys on the ship.... I think there was one gay couple, but they were so into themselves it was almost entertaining to watch!! Anyway, I digress.

 

When I went to the M&M party (my friend chose not to go), there was one "redneck" couple from north of Houston that immediately latched onto me!! She said she had wanted to meet me since we started chatting on the Cruise Critic boards, and her husband was so totally comfortable with it that it caught me offguard. In fact, as time went on, my friend and I spent the rest of the week with them and another str8 couple we met from Canada (we met them on the first day, even before departing, and ended up taking them to a gay bar in Key West--oops, digressing again). Anyway, come to find out, the "redneck" guy's best friends are a lesbian couple. As silly as it sounds, I was reminded again of that old saying "never judge a book by its cover" .... although we never met another gay passenger, we met people who turned out to be lots of fun, and with whom we still keep in touch. Oh, and as a sidelight, the moderator of our M&M party (other than the cruise director) is gay.

 

Anyway, my observation seems to match most everyone else's here: a cruise ship is just a collection of society. Hopefully youre cruise experience will be a positive one, you'll meet great people, and in the end, whether gay or str8, you'll end up with new friends .....

 

On the flipside of that, in 2003 that same friend and I did a transatlantic, and although there were probably 25 or so gay and lesbian passengers, we walked away at the end of that vacation without email addresses, phone numbers, or any contact information from none of them except one guy, and he lives in Germany!

 

Well, this turned out to be longer than I expected. Sorry .... just go, meet, mingle, drink, rest, play, explore, share stories, and at the end of the cruise, let us know if you made any new friends. I'm holding out that you will ..

 

Happy Sailing!

DallasSteve

[AdamOfCanaveral]

Thanks Steve.

[shuggee]

Hi, On my last cruise I used to see this guy who was quite cute looking and we were on nodding terms. On night after my 2 mates had gone to bed (12.30am, far too early for me) I headed up to the revolving bar (Brilliance) and got a drink. The guy was there and he said hello, turned out he was gay (as if I didn't already know) and from NY. He bought me a drink and we chatted for ages. It was formal night so I was in my kilt. He introduced me to his 2 friends and we had a great time together. By this time it was about 3am and the bar was closing so he said "are you turning in for the night"? I said I would but that I usually have a walk round the deck first. He asked if they could join me so we all headed off for a walk. When we got to the Solarium Pool he said "fancy a swim"? I said "in a kilt"? He said "why not"? So we all stripped off and got in the jacuzzi then into the pool for a bit of a swim. We had a great time, I just felt totally relaxed. Afterwards I just wrapped a towel around me and headed back to the cabin with my gear over my arm. In the morning my mates asked me what time I came in, I told them 5am. They couldn't work out what there is to do on a cruise ship till 5am so I just sniggered and said "well you'd find out if you didn't go to bed so early".

 

Shug.

[AdamOfCanaveral]

Shug - Thanks for brightening my morning. As if I wasn't excited enough about sailing on Sunday on the Mariner!

[Bi girl]

How was the Mariner? NOS was a great GL cruise but we had the most fun on the Enchantment of the Seas during spring break! We are trying to decide which ship which line and when to sail in 2006 for our family!