Cruise Ship Safety

[Realblonde474]

Ok, I don't want anyone to get upset with me but since this is the only line (80% of the time) that I cruise on I feel like this is the best place for advice so I am posting here...

 

My ex (AKA "The Disney Dad") is taking my three teenagers (13 F, 15 M, 18 F) on a cruise (different line than RCL out of New Orleans ) the week after New Year's. And while I am excited for my kids that they will get to enjoy cruising I am concerned about the safety of my kids (esp. the girls) on board.

 

My ex is often more into being "cool" than parental. I am looking for advice that I can impart to my kids without raining on their parade. I am certain (knowing my ex's spending habits) that they will NOT BE in a suite and probably on Deck 2 or 3...so I am a bit concerned.

 

Don't say that I am overprotective and controlling or even bitter...I am just a bit concerned about my kids on a cruise ship/line know for it's party atmosphere.

 

Any advice would be most welcome...many thanks!

:)

[cb at sea]

Tell them that they should NEVER go anywhere alone...and NEVER EVER go to anyone's cabin....ever! And, no one comes into their cabin.

 

Disney Dad may be looking to show them a good time, but he does love them....don't worry too much. (I, too, had a "Disney Dad"...and I made it through just fine!!)

 

I'm assuming Carnival....it's not the "party ship" that you might believe! RCI and Carnival are more alike than different!

[rummenroman]

Have them read these, and then put the fear of God into them, then tell them how to avoid it. Like CB said, no going solo ANYWHERE, no going it others rooms, no letting others into their room, and no drinking from an unattended cup.

 

http://blog.lipcon.com/cruise_line_crimes/cruise_ship_rape_sexual_assaul/

 

http://www.internationalcruisevictims.org/LatestMemberStories/Angela_Orlich.html

 

http://www.cruiserape.com/

[Realblonde474]

I appreciate all of your advice...

 

My current doesn't even like for me to navigate the decks alone on our cruises (now almost seven cruises) after a certain hour and I am almost a black belt in TKDO.

 

I have read too many stories and know a woman (personally) who was dragged into an empty cabin SO

 

I am trying to be calm and excited for them..there is nothing like your first cruise BUT...

 

Again, thank you!

[junglejane]

I have a 15 year old DD and we took her on two cruises this year, one for Spring Break on Princess and one this summer on Celebrity. I always remind her not to accept beverages from anyone, not to go into anyone else's cabin, stay in the well populated areas, stay out of the bars, etc.

 

But realistically I think the greatest danger is not that your teen will be dragged off in a dark corner and raped, but that your teen will be hanging out with the "wrong" group of teens when they're doing something stupid or illegal. It's like your high school or middle school at home, where there are good kids and then there are kids that sneak smokes, raid the mini-bar, and occasionally get into mischief. My worry is my DD being in the wrong place at the wrong time when some idiot decides to do something stupid like toss something overboard, and then she could be considered guilty by association.

 

I feel my DD has good judgment and will walk away from a group that is doing anything questionable. But that's what I would emphasize in my talk, rather than making it sound like you think the entire ship is populated with child molesters and sexual predators. My DD had a great time on her cruises this year, but she also figured out quickly which teens to avoid hanging out with. So don't assume that your DD's are at greater risk than your DS. Make sure he gets a "talk" from Mom as well.

[jennmaybe]

Ok, I don't want anyone to get upset with me but since this is the only line (80% of the time) that I cruise on I feel like this is the best place for advice so I am posting here...

 

My ex (AKA "The Disney Dad") is taking my three teenagers (13 F, 15 M, 18 F) on a cruise (different line than RCL out of New Orleans ) the week after New Year's. And while I am excited for my kids that they will get to enjoy cruising I am concerned about the safety of my kids (esp. the girls) on board.

 

My ex is often more into being "cool" than parental. I am looking for advice that I can impart to my kids without raining on their parade. I am certain (knowing my ex's spending habits) that they will NOT BE in a suite and probably on Deck 2 or 3...so I am a bit concerned.

 

Don't say that I am overprotective and controlling or even bitter...I am just a bit concerned about my kids on a cruise ship/line know for it's party atmosphere.

 

Any advice would be most welcome...many thanks!

:)

 

I would sit everyone down and talk to them as a group. Just tell them you may not be with them, but they should know what you expect from them and they are still expected to make wise decisions....all of them...including dad.

 

I am a very overprotective mom of a 13 yr old daughter. It's not about the decisions she makes all time, but it's about the other people out there. I do not trust strangers around her and she is not allowed to go places (public places) without one of us anytime we are on vacation. Also, when a group of teens are together, they can be and sometimes are, persuaded to do something they shouldn't or go somewhere they shouldn't go. It's just a part of life and growing up.

 

On the other hand, they need to have a sense of responsibility and know that you can trust them. That is a very important factor in the growing up phase. It's not like they are 5,7 and 10. They are growing teenagers and there will be a time when you won't be with them everyday. They need to learn responsibility, but also make sure they understand there are consequences to their actions. That one always works with my teen.:) The thought of not having her cell phone just kills her :D!

 

I hope they have a great time and whatever you do, don't stress while they are gone. I am very sure they will have a great time!

[cruisefan0110]

Ok, I don't want anyone to get upset with me but since this is the only line (80% of the time) that I cruise on I feel like this is the best place for advice so I am posting here...

 

My ex (AKA "The Disney Dad") is taking my three teenagers (13 F, 15 M, 18 F) on a cruise (different line than RCL out of New Orleans ) the week after New Year's. And while I am excited for my kids that they will get to enjoy cruising I am concerned about the safety of my kids (esp. the girls) on board.

 

My ex is often more into being "cool" than parental. I am looking for advice that I can impart to my kids without raining on their parade. I am certain (knowing my ex's spending habits) that they will NOT BE in a suite and probably on Deck 2 or 3...so I am a bit concerned.

 

Don't say that I am overprotective and controlling or even bitter...I am just a bit concerned about my kids on a cruise ship/line know for it's party atmosphere.

 

Any advice would be most welcome...many thanks!

:)

 

 

I'm sorry if I am reading your intentions wrong, but I take offense to your comment about not being in a JS and probably on deck 2 or 3. Are you implying that the passengers who stay on lower decks are more of a criminal type. Kind of like saying that those decks are like going into the bad part of town while the JS area is safe and is the better part of town. I, as most passengers on a cruise ship, are fine, upstanding people no matter what deck they are on. You will find bad apples wherever you go. Even in the JS's.

[FreshOffTheBoat]

I'm sorry if I am reading your intentions wrong, but I take offense to your comment about not being in a JS and probably on deck 2 or 3. Are you implying that the passengers who stay on lower decks are more of a criminal type. Kind of like saying that those decks are like going into the bad part of town while the JS area is safe and is the better part of town. I, as most passengers on a cruise ship, are fine, upstanding people no matter what deck they are on. You will find bad apples wherever you go. Even in the JS's.

 

I have to agree, this whole thread sounds to me more than her worried about her kids.

 

Ugly divorce I am guessing.

[ryano]

. I am certain (knowing my ex's spending habits) that they will NOT BE in a suite and probably on Deck 2 or 3...so I am a bit concerned.

 

 

 

WOW! Seriously? :( Long gone are the days of Titanic and classification on a cruise ship where the "fine upstanding" passengers are in the upper deck suites and the "trash" or "steerage" are in the bowels of the ship.

 

Maybe you didnt really mean it the way it came out but that is VERY stereotypical and just flat out being rude.

[Momto5]

WOW! Seriously? :( Long gone are the days of Titanic and classification on a cruise ship where the "fine upstanding" passengers are in the upper deck suites and the "trash" or "steerage" are in the bowels of the ship.

 

Maybe you didnt really mean it the way it came out but that is VERY stereotypical and just flat out being rude.

 

Or maybe she feels those areas are further removed from more public areas and therefore a bit more secluded. That's what I understood from that. One has to be careful not to impart too much to the written words of a stranger...

 

OP, I agree with what some have said. Ground rules are very important. I would actually worry as much about them if they were boys. Someone said the danger is not really an assault (pretty rare) but more a "bad" group of kids they might get involved with (quite common), and ITA.

[johneeo]

Any advice would be most welcome...many thanks!

:)

 

I would let them know that they will not be in the USA.

 

At sea, the Captain is the supreme royal dictator, and if they get involved in any mischief or misbehaviour, they could be put off the ship at any time.:eek:

 

It has happened, so be sure they are aware that there are consequences for their actions.

 

But, everyone should be fine and hopefully have a great cruise.

[Debde]

Or maybe she feels those areas are further removed from more public areas and therefore a bit more secluded. That's what I understood from that. One has to be careful not to impart too much to the written words of a stranger.

 

I took it that way also.

[mation101]

Most of the horror stories about sexual assault make it sound like the girls were forced against their will by the employee.

 

When I was a teenage cruiser, I loved the attention these handsome employees paid to me, they made me feel "special" and because this kind of attention was something I never got at home, I didnt realize that is was for one reason, to get me to their cabin.

 

You can warn your kids about the "scarry" ones that might grab them in a dark corridor, but the real threat is going to come from the sweet handsome charming guy that befriends them, maybe buys them a drink (alcoholic or not), dances with them, and just makes them feel special.

 

I was the "good kid" that my parents didnt have to worry about because I knew the rules. When I look back at the things I did on cruises in my teens I just shudder, and thank God I got thru it unhurt and alive.

[NorbertsNiece]

Long story....cut very short. I was 18 with my dad on a European cruise (mum had passed away and this was our first trip since). Drinking age. Failed to return to cabin following bar crawl evening excursion on Gibraltar. Father panics and heads to bridge in his PJs to demand ship stays in port. They assure him I am safe and on board. He drags me (still in his PJs) out of the bar.

 

Lesson : know where your children are and who they are with. Set very clear rules. Any conversation you have with your children should be in the presence of their father so that everyone is singing off the same hymn sheet. The adult is in charge and is the responsible one.

[Realblonde474]

Or maybe she feels those areas are further removed from more public areas and therefore a bit more secluded. That's what I understood from that. One has to be careful not to impart too much to the written words of a stranger...

 

OP, I agree with what some have said. Ground rules are very important. I would actually worry as much about them if they were boys. Someone said the danger is not really an assault (pretty rare) but more a "bad" group of kids they might get involved with (quite common), and ITA.

 

 

I don't want to escalate into an ugly war of words and postings but what I meant by

 

Regarding Deck 2 or 3...is exactly what someone said..it can be rather "empty" and lonesome on the lower decks without a lot of foot traffic where someone (especially a teenager) could easily get lost. I don't think there is a "bad" cabin on a cruise ship but with three teenagers navigating back and forth is can be a bit tricky.

 

and btw: Have you ever seen a "pretty" divorce? In reference to another post.

 

This isn't about me but concern for my three kids. I now have lots of advice to share with them and truly my fears have been calmed a bit.

 

:D

[ryano]

Or maybe she feels those areas are further removed from more public areas and therefore a bit more secluded. .

 

My apologies to the OP then :)

 

Bottom line is, I think a lot of people get a false sense of security while on cruiseships and fail to "watch their six" when in fact they should probably watch it even more. Its like a floating city in that you are gonna have "bad" people just as you would anywhere on land.

 

Those "victim" stories almost ALWAYS start out with blaming the cruiseline for not "being the safe haven they advertise on tv" it seems

 

There are some great pointers on here for the OPs children and the ex.

[Realblonde474]

You are so right about that "false sense" of security on cruise ships. And maybe I am a bit over protective but there are so many postings about this. Any knowledge is better than not being prepared...

 

Plus, how many teenagers have ever said "Thank you, dear parent as I do appreciate your concerns and will do exactly what you think because you do know and have experienced so much more than I have."

 

Yea right!

 

 

 

Many thanks!

[cruisefan0110]

To the OP. My apologies also. There is nothing wrong with being a concerned parent. In fact, it is commendable.

 

And, as I have experienced with my kids. They don't say thank you as teenagers, but they will thank you after they become adults

[Realblonde474]

BTW, there is only one type of "bad cabin" on a cruise ship..if it is empty and I could've been on it !!!

 

Happy Holidays to all of you and I do appreciate all of your information.

[Familygoboston]

I've already had the convo with my two DD 14 and 17...luckily, they like and are at an age, where they can & will hang together ( if I find out that's not happening, they get to hang with Granma & me:eek:

This is a continuation of discussions we always have ( aka- "car lectures" according to the girls:p).

- Realize you can and will be associated with the behaviors of the kids you hang out with even if you don't engage in them; choose wisely and have a bail out plan.

-No drinks or snacks left unattended out of you sight,

-stay together, and

- never be in a cabin or private space- even if you are together.

 

OP- your biggest concern should be that your 18 will probably not be allowed into the teen club, so you'll want to stress the togetherness thing with them.

 

I have to agree about having the convo about the " nice folks" as Mation101 mentioned- Unfortunately, when I was 12 I did a TA with my Granddad, and I was targeted by crew member. I had no clue at the time why this nice cabin steward took me up to the suite level ( which was largely empty in the 70s) and gave me an expensive box of chocolates. I thanked him nicely and ran right back to my cabin to show my grandfather. He saw the chocolates and hit the roof! He sailed on this ship twice a year, so he went straight to the captain. I had no clue then what was going on, and thank God, nothing happened. But I look back now and realize what a close call!

 

But it's a story I shared with my own girls many times. Nobody wants to scare kids or make cruising seem dangerous, but as we see in the news, we need to protect our kids with knowledge about choices they make and give them the courage and voice to speak up!

[DRD07]

The good Lord gave each of us internal warning systems. You may tell your kids to trust that internal warning. The weird feeling in the gut, hair standing up, skin crawling etc.

 

If the elevator door opens and it does not feel right for any reason, step back and wait for the next one.

 

When approaching blind corners step out where you can see what is there vs following the wall.

 

Don't assume the stateroom is safe because of the keycard. Open the door and take a moment while at the door to assess the room. Follow that inner warning. If unsure never question yourself. Go get a second person to help clear the room.

 

If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable, anyone, get away at once. If you have to tell them you are uncomfortable and raise your voice. Better to need to apologize for being overcautious than the potential life altering alternative.

 

Have a cutoff time and areas that are off limits for out on the decks. These can be some very dark and desolate areas to avoid.

 

Walk with your head up, shoulders back and make eye contact with someone approaching you. Look aware and be aware which will make you appear strong and not a potential victim.

 

If accosted in anyway, verbally or certainly if touched, scream at the very top of your voice " Help Me, This is not my parent"

 

Common sense is not a teens best friend, but a caring parent as seen in the above posts is.

[PhoenixDawgCruising]

Not to be mean but, 13, 15 and 18, uhhhh...

 

Unless they are home-schooled and in your eye sight 24/7, they probably take part in activities in thier own hometown that would terrify you, so as long as they have common sense at home, they will use the same common sense on a cruise or anywhere else.:)

 

My oldest son is almost 16, and he's street smart, so I don't worry about him at all when we cruise. As long as your kids keep their wits about them, they'll be fine.

 

And your 18 year old daughter is an adult, if you have prepared her for life, she's ready for it.

[Big_G]

Not to be mean but, 13, 15 and 18, uhhhh...

 

Unless they are home-schooled and in your eye sight 24/7, they probably take part in activities in thier own hometown that would terrify you, so as long as they have common sense at home, they will use the same common sense on a cruise or anywhere else.:)

 

My oldest son is almost 16, and he's street smart, so I don't worry about him at all when we cruise. As long as your kids keep their wits about them, they'll be fine.

 

And your 18 year old daughter is an adult, if you have prepared her for life, she's ready for it.

 

Sorry, not buying what you're selling. You can never assume common sense will be the protector of children whether they're 13, 15, or 18. Kids have lapses of good judgement, even 'street smart' kids. There are other kids from all over the world on cruise ships that you know nothing about. As soon as you stop worrying, that's when things can go bad. They don't need nagging but they do need reminding.

[Familygoboston]

Sorry, not buying what you're selling. You can never assume common sense will be the protector of children whether they're 13, 15, or 18. Kids have lapses of good judgement, even 'street smart' kids. There are other kids from all over the world on cruise ships that you know nothing about. As soon as you stop worrying, that's when things can go bad. They don't need nagging but they do need reminding.

 

So far " car lectures" seem to work!:D

[daveky]

I took the location of the cabin as being far removed from public areas also. On one on my cruises on a sea day, my girlfriend and myself were laying around the pool on a sea day. She decided to go back to the cabin (during the day) and apparantly a male passenger around the pool was watching and she was followed back to our room. Luckly the cabin steward was in the hallway, and to not go into a long story, the passenger tried to work his way into our room and the cabin steward stepped in and we (I) was notified of the situation. I've always escorted someone I was with back to the cabin in the evening but never thought about who may be watching during the day.

 

Dave