Do you get a guilty feeling if you pull your kids out of school?

[Warm Breezes]

Do not feel guilty about pulling your kids out. We have taken our kids out for long weekend family vacations and for week long cruises during the school year since they have been in school (DS 11 and DD 8). We always notify the teachers ahead of time and have never had a problem with them keeping up with their work. If fact I just e-mailed my childrens teachers that they would be taken out a couple days for a long memorial day vacation and DS's teacher responded that she enjoyed having him in her class and the he was the most responsible and respectful student she has ever had - He is a straight A student. Obviously our little trips during the school year have not had a negative impact on him. If my children were having problems with school work I might reconsider my take on pulling them out, but as long as they are doing great, the teachers enjoy having them and they can make everything up and learn more at the same time - I have no problem with a family vacation during school time. Keep your chin up and have fun.:)

[angelsx4]

Thank you Onessa!

[elaineof6]

And I do think it is inconsiderate to the teacher and the other students to get special treatment (and that is what you are asking by wanting work in advance) just to go on vacation during school.

 

Well, you're entitled to your opinion.

 

My husband teaches 7th grade US history. After spending 24 years in the Navy, he says it's the hardest job he's ever had. He has mostly great kids, but some who are absolute little terrors. Occasionally, one (or more) of the Monster Children gets assigned to In-School Suspension. If that doesn't work to correct the inappropriate behavior, they get Out of School Suspension. And if they're truly incorrigible, the get sent to the Alternative School for five days. In ALL of those situations, my husband is required to assemble a packet of work to be completed by the child, who is unlikely to do the work anyhow.

 

From my husband's vantage point, he would rather assemble a packet of work for a child who will be on vacation, than for one of the thugs or hoodlums. The traveler is likely to give my husband (and other teachers) a reasonable notice of the time the child will be gone, and chances are very good that these assignments WILL get completed, because these parents will probably make sure of it.

[cruisinqt]

I hate to tell you "I told you so" but I I told you so!:)

 

The subject of taking your kids out of school always turns into a heated debate. And it's always turned into a heated debate by someone who hates having lots of children on board a cruise ship. I know that's the case because the people who "flamed" me for my post about pulling my kids out of school were all posting on another thread about forgetting the whole no-smoking cruise ship and getting an "adults only" cruise ship instead.:rolleyes: They were even complaining that cruising when school was in session to avoid the children wasn't working anymore because too many parents were pulling their kids out of school during the school year. They were even talking about "doing something about it." And I think they "do something about it" by flaming us every time we bring up taking our kids out of school.

 

I've even had several nice people post replies that they were afraid to pull their kids out of school because of all of the negative things that were being said about it.:( I have been doing it for several years and have never had a negative experience or a feeling of guiltiness.

 

And I resent anyone who implies in any form or fashion that I am a bad parent who is teaching my child "a bad lesson.":mad: In a day and age where children are being molested, physically abused, verbally abused, and mostly just completely ignored by their parents, I think it is commendable when a parent wants to spend an entire week on a cruise ship with their child, no matter what time of year it is.

[Soxfan05]

Going to school is my daughter's "job" - her responsiblity, part of my duty to make certain she gets an education. She takes it seriously, I take it seriously. She dresses appropriately for school, she does her homework, she does enrichment projects, she gets good marks.

 

My husband and I work full time. We vary our schedules so that I am there to get her on the bus in the morning, and he is there to pick her up at school in the afternoon.

 

Our school district (like all others) has "early release" days, vacations, staff development days, etc. throughout the school year. We use up most of our vacations covering those days off. So when, for example, she has off 3.5 days in November for Thanksgiving, we grab it for a family vacation. It is the difference between having a family vacation and not. It means she'll be out of school for 2.5 or 1.5 days, but we can fufill another duty we have - to be a family.

 

Has my daughter's education been compromised? No. She is in third grade and reads at the level of a college freshman. She gets all "3" and "4" (on a 1-4 grading scale). When her class was studying Europe, she shared her experiences in Italy, France, and Germany. When her class was studying geology, she shared her experiences on a glacier in AK, with volanoes in WA and HI. When her class studied ocean animals, she had seen whales, seals, dolphins, rays, jellyfish, etc. in the wild. When her class studied native Americans, she had seen authentic totums.

 

Does my daughter believe that her obligation to school is somehow diminished because we "flaunted the rules"? No, we followed the rules. We discussed the time off with her teachers and principal before hand. She has expectations as to school work she needs to do (either before the trip or during the trip).

 

The "bad lesson" is to demonstrate that work/school is more important than family. My friend (and her 13YO son and 10YO daughter) just lost her husband (their father) to a massive heart attack - he worked 10-12 hours a day, 7 days a week and they never had a "real family vacation".

 

I cherish the time I can spend with my daughter. If that means that my house is not 100% disinfected clean - so be it. If that means that she will miss a day-and-a-half of school this November - so be it. She knows that she is important to me.

 

You point was so well stated, it needed to be seen again in this thread!

[sblahars]

I agree with all these points about family being more important, and missing a week of school won't end your childs career, and parents deciding what is right for THEIR kids, etc.....I agree with all these points, but what I still want to know is, why does it have to be during the school year.

 

I truly believe that it is to save money. So while you may rationalize it by saying all of the points above, what is really most important is saving a few dollars. Also, I think people want to go during the school year because they know it would be less crowded, and I think that is also selfish of the parents to take their kids out of school just so they can wait in the buffet line for less time.

 

So to answer the original question, yes, I would feel guilty if I were to pull my kids out of school for a vacation.

[gail811]

Each family's circumstances are unique. We have five sons, three are grown, one in college and one in high school. My husband served 20 years in the service. As a result of deployments and new duty stations, we have pulled our sons out of school many times. No regrets, but LOTS of great memories. Family time is precious to us and we take advantage at every opportunity. With planning they have never fallen behind in their school work, and the older four all continued on to college. We live by, "life is short and you never know what tomorrow may bring"....we have come close to losing my husband twice. I respect each family's opinion on this issue based on their beliefs; this is ours.

[sblahars]

I do agree with the statement "Each family's circumstances are unique". However, I have a hard time believing that EVERYONE on here who is for pulling their kids out of school does so because they can ONLY take a vacation during the school year.

 

If you believe family is so important, wouldn't you get a job where you can spend more time with your family in the summer? So by using that defense of only taking a vacation when your job allows, seems to suggest that your career is more important than your family.

 

I'm sorry, but I'm not buying any of this...

 

Agreed, I do believe that there are situations where pulling your kids out of school just can't be avoided, but I believe that is rare. I also believe that most of the time parents pulling their kids our of school is the most convenient for the parents, and all this other stuff is just rationalizing what they really believe is wrong.

[Soxfan05]

I agree with all these points about family being more important, and missing a week of school won't end your childs career, and parents deciding what is right for THEIR kids, etc.....I agree with all these points, but what I still want to know is, why does it have to be during the school year.

 

I truly believe that it is to save money. So while you may rationalize it by saying all of the points above, what is really most important is saving a few dollars. Also, I think people want to go during the school year because they know it would be less crowded, and I think that is also selfish of the parents to take their kids out of school just so they can wait in the buffet line for less time.

 

So to answer the original question, yes, I would feel guilty if I were to pull my kids out of school for a vacation.

 

Yes, I am sure there are some posters (some even acknowledged it) that can't afford to cruise during peak time so they make the judgement call that the time together as a family and exposing their children to the outside world supercedes 5 days in school. Bravo to them. I would never make anyone feel guilty for not having the financial means to cruise during peak travel season.

 

I don't believe anyone on this board is concerned with the buffet line. I'm sure there are some who do cruise during off times for this reason but not on this board. These parents all seem to be conscientious and weigh their choices carefully.

 

As far as the school year, you assume too much. Not everyone has flexibility to vacation at the same time the kids do. I know our family has access to 2 vacation homes that are owned by my parents- both in very desirable summer resort areas in New England. My husband has never been able to join us for more than 2 days on one of these FREE vacations because of his work schedule. That's just the way it is. My kids know that so we go for a couple days with Daddy and then I stay on with them for a few more so they can enjoy what's available to them.

[the4ofusandallourfriends]

sblahars says:

 

"I truly believe that it is to save money. So while you may rationalize it by saying all of the points above, what is really most important is saving a few dollars".

 

Yes! Of course it is....For many of us, we actually have to budget for a family vacation that includes our children....Listen, if we really wanted to save money, we'd leave the kids at home....save over $2000 ......buy them some cheesy $10 T-shirts.....but for some of us that is not option or life choice. Number one reason we don't cruise during peak times (summer and holidays) is financial. For us, it's the difference between having a vacation and not having one at all.

 

In the summer, we do what is affordable. We go camping .... fun, cheap, affordable, and sometimes warm...in the winter we go south during the "off season".

 

 

Sblahars also says:

"Also, I think people want to go during the school year because they know it would be less crowded, and I think that is also selfish of the parents to take their kids out of school just so they can wait in the buffet line for less time".

 

Hahahahaha....that is the funniest thing I've read on this thread.....I'm speechless on that one.

 

Regarding the children not missing school...because 'it's their job'.......School is not my children's job......School is part of a team, I as their first and foremost educator, have put together for them. This team includes educators I choose to teach them academically, spiritually, physically, arts, and culture.........a very well rounded education. I am their parent. I decide what's best for them.......I budget what we can afford for them at different stages of their life........sometimes they get swimming lessons....sometimes mad science....sometimes...the running club.....sometimes travel....and so far my results have produced well rounded, great kids with great values!

[mrg0433]

We used to take our kids on vacation for two weeks in Florida every February. One week was school vacation, and the other was our choice. Our kids always got their homework assignments in advance of our trip. Missing one week of school never had a negative impact on our children. As a matter of fact, our eldest son ended up with a scholarship as top student at his college. Now that my Mom has passed on, we really enjoy looking back at our family vacations in Florida every winter. Who wouldn't want to get away from frigid Massachusetts in February? I don't need a vacation all summer because I live at the beach. No regrets. Glad we did what we considered best for our family. Now I look forward to my winter vacations in California with my grandsons.

 

Mary

Plymouth, MA

[sblahars]

I think everyone needs to change careers so that they can take vacations in the summer, that would be putting your family first, because if taking a family is so important, the parents would change their life around for it.

[the4ofusandallourfriends]

I was thinking maybe we are wrong...... perhaps someone should start a 'Save the off-season vacationing children's" Fund.......

 

Their could be a telethon....with costumed broadway medleys performed.......oh, and singers.......and bingo.....and pool games......napkin folding and a big buffet (of course an 'adults only' buffet).

[Soxfan05]

I think everyone needs to change careers so that they can take vacations in the summer, that would be putting your family first, because if taking a family is so important, the parents would change their life around for it.

 

Yes, that would be great if we could all just switch careers to take summer vacations. But it's not realistic for people with real careers- ones where they are invested in a company and business that requires them to be at work during times when they would rather be on vacation.

 

It must be nice to be able to think you can just quit your job "for the good of the family" and find comparable compensation that would enable you to vacation during the peak months. Not everyone has that luxury. Good for you.

 

I'm just wondering why you are so upset about a situation (taking kids from school for family time) that does not impact you directly. You choose not to, others choose to. Simple. Nice living in a democracy full of choices.

[tivvy]

sblahars.... I think everyone needs to change careers so that they can take vacations in the summer, that would be putting your family first, because if taking a family is so important, the parents would change their life around for it.

 

 

I would hate to burst your bubble, but there are many schools that are going to the year-around schedule with very short breaks at peak (expensive) times.

 

I will be cruising with my children in October and enjoying every bit of it!

[sblahars]

Its funny, because most of the people that I know who do have real careers (engineers, doctors, psychologists, administrative, IT, etc) all have no problem at all taking a vacation in the summer. I can't believe that everyone else in the world can ONLY take a vacation during the summer...

 

I've been on a vacation every summer the last 4 years, and each time there have been families upon families, how is it they manage to take time off during the summer?

 

My point is that if your family vacation is so important, maybe you should consider a career where you can take a family vacation during the summer.

[Soxfan05]

Its funny, because most of the people that I know who do have real careers (engineers, doctors, psychologists, administrative, IT, etc) all have no problem at all taking a vacation in the summer. I can't believe that everyone else in the world can ONLY take a vacation during the summer...

 

I've been on a vacation every summer the last 4 years, and each time there have been families upon families, how is it they manage to take time off during the summer?

 

My point is that if your family vacation is so important, maybe you should consider a career where you can take a family vacation during the summer.

 

So, all of these people with "real" careers engineers, docs, psychologists would be willing to leave their careers to get a different vacation week? Probably not. I'm also willing to bet that their demanding careers require them to be at work when other things are going on that are important to their kids.

 

As far as the folks you vacation with, good for them, good for you. Good for me, I can take a week in the summer. As a matter of fact, I take the whole summer off. But hubby can't. It's the nature of his business. A business that provides for our family and allows us other perks that give us a quality of life and quality time with our kids at other times. It is nice to have choices. We're very happy with the ones we've made.

 

I have no guilt over my husband not being able to take a week off in the summer just as I have no guilt that our week away is during the school year. You say you would. That's your problem. Stop trying to transfer your guilt onto other good parents.

 

So, I ask you again, why do you have such a problem with something that has no effect on your personally? You've spent alot of time attacking people's career choices, lack of financial means and priorities in wanting to go when buffet lines are short but have still not answered that simple question.

[justmarie]

I think the way the jobs are these day great ones are hard to come by, the world is not thriving the way it use to be. I'm happy to have a job with great benefits. I choose to go during the fall because we save over $1500 vs the summer, or holidays and we go on ships that have a kids program, so people who "hate" kids should go on ships that are not geared for kids. My husband does not like to cruise to a warm climate when it's warm here, which is a very short time. So if I had my way in life I would not work and cruise every vacation day my kids were off! There's always the lottery!

[Nliedel]

 

If you believe family is so important, wouldn't you get a job where you can spend more time with your family in the summer? So by using that defense of only taking a vacation when your job allows, seems to suggest that your career is more important than your family.

 

I'm sorry, but I'm not buying any of this...

 

QUOTE]

 

My husband is in the IT industry. In the area we live he is LUCKY to have a job at all right now, let alone the long term employment he can expect from his emplyer (a hospital). We probably could move to an area where he could pick and choose a job that allows him to vacation in the summer but his parents are here, my parents are here and that family is important. I am happy you are in the type of position that allows you to work in an industry that lets you change jobs to suit your time off needs, my husband is not. But.. you don't have to believe me or "buy" it at all. That is your choice certainly. I will go with what I know to be true and parent in a way that makes happy children that are a healthy and productive part of society (I hope) and not worry about what too many people think as long as they are well behaved and poilite.

[dad son team]

When I started this, I didn't realize how controversial it would be. I thought it was a simple question.

 

Thanks to everyone that help me get over this issue.

 

FYI-the reason I was even contemplating doing this was because my brother is getting married in October on a ship and has invited my son and I to the wedding. Since we are going to go, I need to cancel the summer cruise I have booked in August because I cannot afford both, nor do I have enough vacation time to do both.

[sblahars]

Someone before asked: "So, I ask you again, why do you have such a problem with something that has no effect on your personally?"

 

The answer is that this can affect someone personally. It can affect the teacher who has to take time away from her students who go to class to make an assignment for her students who's parents take them on vacation. As much as people want to believe that teachers live only for their students 24 hours a day, that isn't necessarily true, teachers have lives as well. I don't think it is fair to ask the teacher to make alternate plans or even advanced plans for a student who is on vacation. People have this belief that a teacher lives only for their students, while it would be nice, people have to realize that teachers have families and children of their own, and it is unfair to their family if they have to do more work just for one child. I'm sure someone will say, "We talk to the teacher and he/she has no problem...", even if they did have a problem, they probably wouldn't say they did.

[angelsx4]

sblahars, once again, it is the teacher's job to fulfill those requests. It is in their contract, it is their job - period. My husband is a principal, and we don't want to go on vacation during the summer when there are tons of kids and college age drinkers aboard. His school district is different than our childrens'. He gets 3 weeks off, they get 2. We're taking it not because we "have to", but because we choose to. I'll tell you now, we booked our cruise on NCL Star for Jan. 4, 06 sailing. I truly hope I don't run into your narrow, busy-bodied, I'm the only one that's right attitude on board. My well behaved polite children(because we eat dinner together nightly and I've taught them manners) will have the time of their lives because we picked the ship, programs, excursions, and time.

[KauaiKris]

I was going to sit quiet on this topic, but some of these comments just seem absurd to me. Particularly the ones about people with "real" careers. As if the job/career some folks have doesn't count or is substandard. We all do what we have to do, in the ways that work for us. Amazing the viewpoints some folks have.

 

We schedule vacation time based on a number of factors. Things like - what is the purpose of the trip? Obviously if we're going to a wedding, or an anniversary party, we can't put that off until summer. Sometimes we have to work vacation around my husband's schedule. My brother, who heads a team of programmers for Cingular, (a real career, by the way) can only schedule vacation between projects. This year, that was February and then not again until October or November. To suggest people change jobs soley so they can vacation in summer seems absurd to me. To suggest that by only taking vacation when your career allows one is more interested in their career than their family is WAY off the mark. Totally unrealistic. Many people do they jobs they do FOR their family, in order to support them and give them opportunities, such as... vacation!! I'm sorry, but my #1 one priority in life is NOT to make sure my children have 100% attendance in school. Nor should it be.

 

My father-in-law has been school teacher, school principal, and most recently, the superintendant of the whole school division in Southern Alberta. Is he opposed to people scheduling some quality family vacation time even when it happens to fall during the school year? No. Of course if your kids are struggling in school and need extra tutoring, there would be concerns there. But otherwise... There is more to life than work. There is more to life than school. Both are valuable. But so is time with family, so is seeing the world, broadening your horizons and having different experiences. My children would get more out of a week on a cruise, by far, than they would miss by having been out of school a week, and we take them out of school about 1 week each year, on average. I only feel bad about it if they are going to miss some interesting/fun activity at school.

 

At our middle school, the official policy is that the teachers will not give out homework in advance for students going on vacation - the kids have to make it up afterward. However, we still give the teachers as much advance notice as possible, and so far, all teachers have very cheerfully worked with us and given assignments in advance, even though we haven't asked, and they don't need to. Most teachers also realize there's more to life than work/school.

[the4ofusandallourfriends]

Someone before asked: "So, I ask you again, why do you have such a problem with something that has no effect on your personally?"

 

The answer is that this can affect someone personally. It can affect the teacher who has to take time away from her students who go to class to make an assignment for her students who's parents take them on vacation. As much as people want to believe that teachers live only for their students 24 hours a day, that isn't necessarily true, teachers have lives as well. I don't think it is fair to ask the teacher to make alternate plans or even advanced plans for a student who is on vacation. People have this belief that a teacher lives only for their students, while it would be nice, people have to realize that teachers have families and children of their own, and it is unfair to their family if they have to do more work just for one child. I'm sure someone will say, "We talk to the teacher and he/she has no problem...", even if they did have a problem, they probably wouldn't say they did.

 

 

Sblahars, I agree that parents shouldn't expect any 'extras' on our overburdened teachers....I don't...and as I stated before, our vacation is homework free......I say this is what we're doing....and we go....I don't ask any extras. We catch up when we get back.

 

But can I say that most of my kid's teachers have OFFERED alternate plans..... they do this gratefully and willingly with a big smile on their face, probably because my kids do not take up 'extra time' needing discipline.....and I (as well as, I'm sure, many of the other parents posting here that enjoy spending time with their kids), am the first person to volunteer my 'extra' time for any events and field trips that the teachers organize.

 

So, I'm not sure what point you're trying to make. Unless you're a teacher or perhaps a child yourself having difficulties academically.....there are others here with great education qualifications that have clarified that issue.

 

Bottom line is the posters on this thread, have proven that there is no neglect or unfair burdens going on with this great bunch of unselfish adventurous and loving parents.

 

I'm trying to keep an open mind about your motive and arguments......but after the 'real careers' comment, it seems to me you're just here to flame.....if you are really and truly concerned about the plight of children and teachers perhaps you can follow up your concern with actions.... look into volunteering your time in the schools....I'm sure they would love someone as concerned and with such a flexible schedule as you.

[Onessa]

When I started this, I didn't realize how controversial it would be. I thought it was a simple question.

 

Thanks to everyone that help me get over this issue.

 

FYI-the reason I was even contemplating doing this was because my brother is getting married in October on a ship and has invited my son and I to the wedding. Since we are going to go, I need to cancel the summer cruise I have booked in August because I cannot afford both, nor do I have enough vacation time to do both.

 

I've discovered that nothing dealing with children and cruising is ever simple on these boards.

 

As to your particular situation - it falls into the category of the importance of family. My only sibiling had chosen 20 years ago to "divorce" my parents because her husband had problems with my mother - an irrepresible personality (mom) versus a stick-in-the-mud (BIL):D When my mother passed away, she did not attend the funeral. My father is in poor health and she refuses to acknowledge my calls or letters - it's her choice. I've remained very involved with my extended family - cousins, my husband's family, but I do miss my sister. So if your brother has asked you and your son to be with him for one of the most important times in his life - I say go for it!